Regrets about no negotiating job offer
July 20, 2016 5:50 AM   Subscribe

I left a job where I had plenty of privileges for a new job that I love but has no perks

I worked on be very lay back organization for 9 years. I had a lot of privileges, including working less than 35 hours a week and plenty of PTO. I didn't have a salary review for 6 years, was bored of the every day routine and annoyed by a bunch of bs going on there. I started applying for jobs and went through a super quick hiring process with an amazing company. I loved the people I interviewed with and decided if I was going to make the jump, that would be people I wanted to work with. They offered a little bit more that I was making, a decent amount of time off, and other benefits. They gave me 24 hours to respond. When I went to present my resignation, my boss offered me a 30% salary increase. He told that because I never went to him asking for a raise, he assumed I was fine. I was terribly overwhelmed by the situation; on one hand the place I wanted to work at and in the other, the money. I accepted the offer but never brought up any counteroffer. A month and a half later I love my new job but I'm not completely happy because I'm still thinking about all the good things I left behind (mostly the money) and my former boss has told me several times the doors are open for me to come back. I want to bring al this up to my new employer but I'm afraid it may look like I'm not honoring the agreement. I feel trap. Any advice?
posted by 3dd to Work & Money (7 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
 
I'm afraid it may look like I'm not honoring the agreement

Bosses aren't friends. You shouldn't let them think they're your adversary, but the relationship between employer-employee is essentially transactional. So transact. Employment contracts aren't broken by asking for a better one, they're broken if you violate the terms. In Haiti they have a saying that I tell myself over and over again when I get anxious about improving my lot in life: asking isn't stealing. So if you can do so without legal repercussions, ask for more money, and if you don't get it, go back to your old job (if that's what you want).
posted by dis_integration at 6:12 AM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


If your goal is more money, you will not get it by not asking. You proved that yourself with 6 years at the old job of no raises. If you are truly willing to go back to old job, then ask new job for whatever it is you want and if they say no, then consider going "home" to first job.
posted by AugustWest at 7:26 AM on July 20, 2016


I forget where I read the statistic, but I know I've read several times that counteroffers, when accepted, only result in employees who stay for a short time after accepting them. There's more than a monetary reason why you left your last job, I'm guessing, and the way that your boss put it, "You never asked for a raise," makes me give the side-eye to your old job. If you are worth that extra money and were there for 9 years, why hadn't this come up at all? And why did you want to leave?

Salary negotiation is a very powerful tool, but remember that when you've accepted an offer, you have made a decision that satisfied you at the time, so consider what made you happy to accept then, before tearing yourself apart that you didn't start making deals back and forth.

There's always time to renegotiate at review times. And if it doesn't work out, then if "the door's always open" for real, then it'll be open when you want to go.
posted by xingcat at 7:27 AM on July 20, 2016 [6 favorites]


This is the approach that I've used to negotiate when I wanted something from an employer.

I'd ask right now to schedule a review at the 3 month mark (3 months is the time when most employers review and employee and it is the time that you are also under review), but I asked for one so it could be a mutual sit down and highlight what you like, they can give you verbiage/reiterate what is important to them, and you can proactively ask for things (I want to learn more about X, do this team project, etc.). Remind them if you don't get a review so you can sit down with them.

At that time, mention the number one or two top things you are unhappy with at the new job. "I am happy with team blah blah, these opportunities and company blah blah, but I have to be honest: my previous employer offered me a 30% increase in salary, and it bothers me. Is there any way that we could work during the upcoming year to increase my salary if I meet benchmarks that you set, etc" (and mutually agree on them, don't have them be arbitrary and do revisit if you meet them throughout the year). But the idea is that I give the employer a chance to meet what I want or would like; set a timeline; watch if all parties follow through.

If they don't follow through, then reassess if you want to go back.

TBH, it might be in the middle and not reach 30%/ I do believe it would have been far more appropriate to do this at hiring because that is when they were also desperate (hence their "24 hour" window to agree). Some of the things (like flexibility, or work from home, etc.) do go employees, but it is often after they get a chance to know you, so don't give up on all of it.

If you are looking for ways to be satisfied with the status quo, you can remind yourself that there were things you left at the last job intentionally (per your description, you did not sound happy). So an intermediate year could give you opportunities so that you could go to a 3rd job with an even higher salary, if that is the way you want to go.
posted by Wolfster at 7:32 AM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Response by poster: Agree, agree and agree. Bosses are not friends; keeping quiet doesn't take me anywhere and it sucks that my old boss though I was worth so much and never offered until a had a foot out. To follow up, what is a good time to bring it up? At review? How one start that conversation?
posted by 3dd at 7:34 AM on July 20, 2016


Yeah, as Wolfster said, be proactive in getting a review on the calendar. Every review I've ever had has included a portion where boss asks something along the lines of "so how is it going?" That's your opening to raise the money issue.
posted by craven_morhead at 7:44 AM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


I absolutely would not bring up the counteroffer to your new boss. You've only been there a little while and you already agreed to salary terms. You will look disloyal and mercenary if, just a month and a half in, you even imply that you're considering leaving for more money at your old job.

Your relationship with your boss is NOT purely transactional. It's an ongoing relationship where you have to build up trust and credibility. You haven't been there long enough to do that yet. Trying to renegotiate the terms of employment or threatening to leave at this point will destroy the possibility of building trust in the future.

You can definitely ask about the review process. I wouldn't ask about it with a view to getting a raise, but would just ask in general what the review process is and when you can expect a review. However, raises are based on your performance. The best thing you can do is document all the great things you're doing, figure out goals that are aligned with your manager's goals, and make a solid case for yourself when your review happens on the normal review cycle.
posted by chickenmagazine at 9:25 AM on July 20, 2016 [8 favorites]


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