How do I follow up with a networking contact?
July 6, 2016 2:42 PM Subscribe
I've been trying to reach out to someone with the intent of getting an informational interview, but it's been full of stops and starts and I don't know how to proceed.
In response to/because of the advice I got in my last question, I've been conducting informational interviews with various people I know who work in finance. I know "finance" is a very broad field, but it's all the better for me, seeing as I don't know much about it and can only figure out so much myself, so the more perspectives I get, the better.
There's one person in particular I've been trying to reach out to. She's a financial adviser, and that's something I'd consider exploring given that I like talking to people about money and credit cards. She and I went to the same school and as far as I can tell, have similar academic backgrounds ("soft" majors/okay GPAs). We're in a few FB groups together, and she at the very least knew of my existence when I reached out and asked if she'd be willing to talk. I made the mistakes of 1) doing it over a holiday weekend and 2) doing it over FB messenger. (To be fair, I did then add her as a LinkedIn contact, and she added me back there.) It took her a few days to respond. When she messaged me back, I wrote back, and since then I haven't heard back.
This was in early June, and other stuff came up later on in the month (including, but definitely not limited to, the death of my mother) that resulted in me putting networking on the back burner for a few weeks. Additionally, I found out that she's expecting and is due at the end of the summer, which I was not aware of when I initially reached out.
So I'm basically left wondering how/if I should follow up. I know she read that last FB message, and I've seen her on the FB groups we're on. There is a part of me, though, that doesn't want to make trouble and thinks I should maybe let this one go given there's a baby on the way, but on the other other hand it would have been such a good opportunity, given our similarities. So what should I do?
In response to/because of the advice I got in my last question, I've been conducting informational interviews with various people I know who work in finance. I know "finance" is a very broad field, but it's all the better for me, seeing as I don't know much about it and can only figure out so much myself, so the more perspectives I get, the better.
There's one person in particular I've been trying to reach out to. She's a financial adviser, and that's something I'd consider exploring given that I like talking to people about money and credit cards. She and I went to the same school and as far as I can tell, have similar academic backgrounds ("soft" majors/okay GPAs). We're in a few FB groups together, and she at the very least knew of my existence when I reached out and asked if she'd be willing to talk. I made the mistakes of 1) doing it over a holiday weekend and 2) doing it over FB messenger. (To be fair, I did then add her as a LinkedIn contact, and she added me back there.) It took her a few days to respond. When she messaged me back, I wrote back, and since then I haven't heard back.
This was in early June, and other stuff came up later on in the month (including, but definitely not limited to, the death of my mother) that resulted in me putting networking on the back burner for a few weeks. Additionally, I found out that she's expecting and is due at the end of the summer, which I was not aware of when I initially reached out.
So I'm basically left wondering how/if I should follow up. I know she read that last FB message, and I've seen her on the FB groups we're on. There is a part of me, though, that doesn't want to make trouble and thinks I should maybe let this one go given there's a baby on the way, but on the other other hand it would have been such a good opportunity, given our similarities. So what should I do?
If she said she'd be willing to talk, great. Did you propose a date/time in the original request and she couldn't make those? Even though she's nominally the busy one, it's up to you to propose the meeting parameters, asking her to guess what type of meeting you want when and where is asking her to do more effort. (especially if she didn't do that in her first reply). So at least give her some options. Are you willing to take off work to do this or does it have to fit in the spare moments?
"Hi Jessica, I'd really love to talk with you about (career stuff) if you still think you can fit me into your schedule. I don't know if you'd prefer to do this during work hours while you're "on" or to fit it in your free time. To get things started, let me suggest that I could come to your office mid-morning on Thursday or Friday, or I could meet you at (common coffeeshop near her work or home neighborhood) on Thursday night or Sunday afternoon. If one of those times works for you, great; or maybe you have a suggestion? My time is fairly flexible, I'm happy to make time for this, though honestly I'd prefer outside working hours if that's convenient for you."
posted by aimedwander at 4:00 PM on July 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
"Hi Jessica, I'd really love to talk with you about (career stuff) if you still think you can fit me into your schedule. I don't know if you'd prefer to do this during work hours while you're "on" or to fit it in your free time. To get things started, let me suggest that I could come to your office mid-morning on Thursday or Friday, or I could meet you at (common coffeeshop near her work or home neighborhood) on Thursday night or Sunday afternoon. If one of those times works for you, great; or maybe you have a suggestion? My time is fairly flexible, I'm happy to make time for this, though honestly I'd prefer outside working hours if that's convenient for you."
posted by aimedwander at 4:00 PM on July 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
I would definitely follow-up. Just send her a very short email note, with a promise to give her a call (to follow-up, not to interview).
I find making mention you will call them gets them to respond to you.
If she does not respond, wait another week after the email before giving her line a call at the beginning of the day (8am) or the end of the day (4pm).
If she doesn't pick up, *don't* leave a message. Instead, just move on.
Although it's a really good idea to broaden our network, and do informational interviews and so on, there is no one single "must meet" person who is going to change everything for you. So it's not really a wise investment of your time to continue to pursue a contact who may not be interested, or may not be inclined to do informational interviews for whatever reason. Better to use the time to connect with entirely new people.
posted by My Dad at 4:40 PM on July 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
I find making mention you will call them gets them to respond to you.
If she does not respond, wait another week after the email before giving her line a call at the beginning of the day (8am) or the end of the day (4pm).
If she doesn't pick up, *don't* leave a message. Instead, just move on.
Although it's a really good idea to broaden our network, and do informational interviews and so on, there is no one single "must meet" person who is going to change everything for you. So it's not really a wise investment of your time to continue to pursue a contact who may not be interested, or may not be inclined to do informational interviews for whatever reason. Better to use the time to connect with entirely new people.
posted by My Dad at 4:40 PM on July 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
She's a financial adviser, and that's something I'd consider exploring given that I like talking to people about money and credit cards.
I'm not saying that you shouldn't follow up, as Countess Sandwish suggests, but, with respect, in my view you should not be bothering this woman at this point in time, when by your own admission you have pretty much zero knowledge of her field. Effective informational interviews are still give and take. Why should she take the time to talk to you? What are you offering?
Have good answers to those two questions, THEN follow up.
posted by Short Attention Sp at 5:25 PM on July 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
I'm not saying that you shouldn't follow up, as Countess Sandwish suggests, but, with respect, in my view you should not be bothering this woman at this point in time, when by your own admission you have pretty much zero knowledge of her field. Effective informational interviews are still give and take. Why should she take the time to talk to you? What are you offering?
Have good answers to those two questions, THEN follow up.
posted by Short Attention Sp at 5:25 PM on July 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
I get a lot of these kinds of requests via LinkedIn, and I honestly forget to answer many of them. As Countess Sandwich notes above, she sounds busy and that's all. To be honest with you, I would be a little bit annoyed if a work question came in via Facebook, so I would stick to LinkedIn (although LInkedIn is so spammy I generally avoid it these days so idk, maybe email?)
The best way to get me for that kind of meeting is to talk to me face to face and make an appointment on the spot. I do reach points where I get avoidant about adding new meetings which I don't need to do.
posted by frumiousb at 5:35 PM on July 6, 2016
The best way to get me for that kind of meeting is to talk to me face to face and make an appointment on the spot. I do reach points where I get avoidant about adding new meetings which I don't need to do.
posted by frumiousb at 5:35 PM on July 6, 2016
Response by poster: Aimedwander (and I guess others): I should probably have mentioned that she lives halfway across the country from me, and thus meeting her in person/going to her office is pretty much an impossibility. Were this to ever come to fruition I was going to suggest either a phone call or a Skype thing.
Also, I don't know her number, hence the FB contact. I may try her LinkedIn, but I feel like sticking with FB would be more consistent.
posted by Puck Soppet at 6:10 PM on July 6, 2016
Also, I don't know her number, hence the FB contact. I may try her LinkedIn, but I feel like sticking with FB would be more consistent.
posted by Puck Soppet at 6:10 PM on July 6, 2016
When I moved back to Canada in 2004, I had to rebuild my network from the ground up. I spent literally years contacting people to meet for coffee, and I eventually got a job with an industry association; industry associations operate largely on social capital (money is tight), so my networking "skill", plus my network, was one of the reasons I got hired.
So, in my experience, it's absolutely the wrong thing to do to continuously try to contact someone on Facebook. It's a private sphere. LinkedIn is marginally better, although I don't know any serious professional who actually treats LinkedIn seriously.
You need to track down this person's email, and you need to track down her work phone. It can be done. That's the most appropriate way to get ahold of this person. Facebook is a little too weird.
posted by My Dad at 8:16 PM on July 6, 2016
So, in my experience, it's absolutely the wrong thing to do to continuously try to contact someone on Facebook. It's a private sphere. LinkedIn is marginally better, although I don't know any serious professional who actually treats LinkedIn seriously.
You need to track down this person's email, and you need to track down her work phone. It can be done. That's the most appropriate way to get ahold of this person. Facebook is a little too weird.
posted by My Dad at 8:16 PM on July 6, 2016
So, I think that if you have a specific question, it would be fine to reach out one more time to ask it. Something narrow such as, "if I wanted to become a financial adviser like you are, what degrees or credentials would be the most useful ones to pursue?" or something equivalently tailored and easy to answer. I don't think the informational interview is going to happen. I also think that if it did, you would be unlikely to find it very helpful given how undefined your goals are.
I speak from personal experience here. I have a cool job that is hard to break into, and I've made it known at my alma mater that I'm willing to do career mentoring, so I get contacted by people who want to do some version of an informational interview with me about twice a month. I say yes to most of those requests, but only about half of the interviews end up happening.
Here's why. There are basically two kinds of people who want to talk to me. The first are people who say, "hey, that seems like it could be a cool job. I'll email this lady and ask her whether her job is cool and if so how I can have that cool job." The second are people who are thinking, "I have already decided that I want this job, and I am making a plan for my future. I would like to get some advice about what kinds of educational and work experience or other resume building activities will put me in the best possible position to get this dream job." When I interview the first group, the conversation is uninteresting to me, and seems rarely to be useful or helpful to the interviewers. Almost none of them follow up, and I don't know that any have ever joined my field. When I interview the second group, the meetings are almost always fun for me. They're interesting, and the interviewers are engaged, and they ask me thoughtful questions that show me that they've already done a ton of work to prepare for the interview.
The difference between the first group and the second isn't about pre-existing knowledge. I've interviewed with high schoolers who have taken better advantage of my knowledge and experience than graduate students who have been studying for this career for several years. The difference is preparation. The ones I like best are the ones who come with an outline of subject areas they want to cover, and sample questions within those subject areas. It's not like a test or like they're reading from a checklist, but it does really help to focus the conversation. And it shows me that they're prepared. I'm actually considering, as a screening tool, asking people who make this request of me to send me a list in advance of the kinds of topic areas they'd like to cover, so I can weed out the ones who are wasting my (and their own) time.
Unfortunately (and if I'm wrong about this, I apologize), you seem to be in the first group. You seem to want to just sort of have someone tell you what you should do with your life. And I'm sorry, but that's not going to be a fruitful conversation for either of you.
Your potential interviewer is not going to care that you had a similarly mediocre GPA in the humanities. She's not going to see that as a "similarity," because her life is not about what she did in undergrad. Anyone you interview with is going to want to know that you are serious about joining their field, that you have done your own legwork, and that you have put in effort in advance to make sure you're not wasting their time. And I just don't think you're there yet.
I also think this woman is unlikely, either at 8 months pregnant or with a newborn, to agree to a Skype interview with a stranger with no real set topic. It may be that this is entirely a lost cause, that you're nog going to be able to get this interview. That's okay. But next time, be more prepared, more focused, and think about not just how this might be valuable for her, but how you can value her by making it interesting and focused and easy for her to say yes to. But right now, her silence and lack of interest is saying no pretty loudly. Sorry.
(Finally, as a footnote, if you don't like dealing with people, you probably don't want to be a financial advisor. Accountant, maybe, but not financial advisor.)
posted by decathecting at 8:47 PM on July 6, 2016 [2 favorites]
I speak from personal experience here. I have a cool job that is hard to break into, and I've made it known at my alma mater that I'm willing to do career mentoring, so I get contacted by people who want to do some version of an informational interview with me about twice a month. I say yes to most of those requests, but only about half of the interviews end up happening.
Here's why. There are basically two kinds of people who want to talk to me. The first are people who say, "hey, that seems like it could be a cool job. I'll email this lady and ask her whether her job is cool and if so how I can have that cool job." The second are people who are thinking, "I have already decided that I want this job, and I am making a plan for my future. I would like to get some advice about what kinds of educational and work experience or other resume building activities will put me in the best possible position to get this dream job." When I interview the first group, the conversation is uninteresting to me, and seems rarely to be useful or helpful to the interviewers. Almost none of them follow up, and I don't know that any have ever joined my field. When I interview the second group, the meetings are almost always fun for me. They're interesting, and the interviewers are engaged, and they ask me thoughtful questions that show me that they've already done a ton of work to prepare for the interview.
The difference between the first group and the second isn't about pre-existing knowledge. I've interviewed with high schoolers who have taken better advantage of my knowledge and experience than graduate students who have been studying for this career for several years. The difference is preparation. The ones I like best are the ones who come with an outline of subject areas they want to cover, and sample questions within those subject areas. It's not like a test or like they're reading from a checklist, but it does really help to focus the conversation. And it shows me that they're prepared. I'm actually considering, as a screening tool, asking people who make this request of me to send me a list in advance of the kinds of topic areas they'd like to cover, so I can weed out the ones who are wasting my (and their own) time.
Unfortunately (and if I'm wrong about this, I apologize), you seem to be in the first group. You seem to want to just sort of have someone tell you what you should do with your life. And I'm sorry, but that's not going to be a fruitful conversation for either of you.
Your potential interviewer is not going to care that you had a similarly mediocre GPA in the humanities. She's not going to see that as a "similarity," because her life is not about what she did in undergrad. Anyone you interview with is going to want to know that you are serious about joining their field, that you have done your own legwork, and that you have put in effort in advance to make sure you're not wasting their time. And I just don't think you're there yet.
I also think this woman is unlikely, either at 8 months pregnant or with a newborn, to agree to a Skype interview with a stranger with no real set topic. It may be that this is entirely a lost cause, that you're nog going to be able to get this interview. That's okay. But next time, be more prepared, more focused, and think about not just how this might be valuable for her, but how you can value her by making it interesting and focused and easy for her to say yes to. But right now, her silence and lack of interest is saying no pretty loudly. Sorry.
(Finally, as a footnote, if you don't like dealing with people, you probably don't want to be a financial advisor. Accountant, maybe, but not financial advisor.)
posted by decathecting at 8:47 PM on July 6, 2016 [2 favorites]
Were this to ever come to fruition I was going to suggest either a phone call or a Skype thing.
My point was, it can't come to fruition until you make a suggestion. Making the suggestion is the first step, not something that happens after some intermediate stage where she gets in touch with you to ask what she can help you with and when you would find to be most convenient for her to do you that favor.
This goes hand in hand with decathecting's suggestions that you prepare your questions to get her personal specific advice and do plenty of general research beforehand, so that she doesn't have to generate the information dump from scratch. Your goal in following up on this contact is to make it as easy as possible for her to help you, don't make he generate a schedule or plan from scratch either. Multiple choice tests are the easiest surveys to answer: Is 7pm a good time to call? Which of these dates works best? Which of these media/apps works best? What number can I call you at?
posted by aimedwander at 8:57 PM on July 6, 2016
My point was, it can't come to fruition until you make a suggestion. Making the suggestion is the first step, not something that happens after some intermediate stage where she gets in touch with you to ask what she can help you with and when you would find to be most convenient for her to do you that favor.
This goes hand in hand with decathecting's suggestions that you prepare your questions to get her personal specific advice and do plenty of general research beforehand, so that she doesn't have to generate the information dump from scratch. Your goal in following up on this contact is to make it as easy as possible for her to help you, don't make he generate a schedule or plan from scratch either. Multiple choice tests are the easiest surveys to answer: Is 7pm a good time to call? Which of these dates works best? Which of these media/apps works best? What number can I call you at?
posted by aimedwander at 8:57 PM on July 6, 2016
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Second, due to my job, people sometimes reach out to me in a similar way. Because I am busy, occasionally I just forget -- which is probably what happened here, especially if she has a baby on the way, AND it was over a long weekend AND via FB messenger. I often make a mental note about things people each out to me about over FB and never remember it, because it's not in my in-box staring at me; my forgetting rarely means I subconsciously don't want to do it! I think you're totally, TOTALLY okay if you follow up again with a quick note touching base (I wouldn't mention that you're aware of the baby). If she drops the ball or doesn't get back to you after this note, I'd let it go, but I think you're absolutely okay to send her one more low-key, cheery, base-touching note. It's summer, it was over FB, people are busy -- I really don't think it's too pushy or anything to drop her another note.
posted by Countess Sandwich at 2:54 PM on July 6, 2016 [1 favorite]