Overcome the mental resistance and get it done.

March 25, 2016 8:20 AM

You managed to stop overestimating the difficulty of the tasks in your life, both large and small. How did you do that?

I constantly, almost unconsciously, overestimate the challenge and/or unpleasantness of the stuff I gotta do. This can be anything from tiny tasks like 45 seconds of filing at work, to bigger projects like working on my finances (broken down into smaller tasks, yes). This, of course, leads to putting them off unnecessarily. And then when I'm done, I'm like, "Guh, that was no big deal. Sheesh."

You'd think that a lifetime of being wrong would have helped, but nope!

I'm not looking for a productivity system; I'm very pleased with the one I have. And I'm not necessarily looking for "procrastination hacks". Rather, I'd like to completely train myself to either completely avoid that initial, persistent kick of, "Ugh, that's gonna suck," or to immediately push it aside mentally and just do the damn thing. Overcome the resistance. You know what I mean, Mefi.

posted by 2or3whiskeysodas to Work & Money (26 answers total)

I reward myself with chocolate after I do a task. Some days it takes a lot of chocolate. FYI, Easter candy goes on sale Monday.
posted by myselfasme at 8:36 AM on March 25, 2016 [8 favorites]

The Now Habit by Neil Fiore gets into this. You might check that out if you haven't read it.
posted by brentajones at 8:41 AM on March 25, 2016 [1 favorite]

The biggest change I've made towards this is to stop calling things no big deal after the fact. If it takes a ton of mental effort and focus to buckle down and do the task, it is, by definition, A Big Deal, and I give myself props accordingly instead of being so damn dismissive about it. This has reduced the pre- and post-task self-chastisement, and kind of helps me reframe things a bit. It's not a cure-all, but it's been very helpful as I try to do small and medium sized tasks more consistently rather than in one giant procrastination and anxiety fueled block.
posted by deludingmyself at 8:44 AM on March 25, 2016 [25 favorites]

I have this problem too. Some tactics for framing/attacking it:
- "Just do 5 minutes" which will usually get me started enough and then I'll realize an hour has gone by
- Similar to myselfasme's chocolate reward "get this done before lunch"
- Do the reward first: "I'll get a cup of coffee, then I can work"
- Look at my list for the day and pick a task that is less bad than the one I am working on, then circle back around to the crummy task later
- Do it first thing the next day
posted by chiefthe at 8:46 AM on March 25, 2016 [6 favorites]

Best answer: For me, the solution has been a mix of something I learned from meditation and some get-it-done techniques.

So what I've done is:
1) Train myself to notice when I start thinking about how much it's going to suck, exploring the feelings (anxiety, boredom).
2) Follow up the noticing of the immediate emotional reaction with counter examples and breaking the task down. No, it's not going to take all day to do, the last time I did it, it took 15 minutes. No, it's not going to suck, it's actually something I enjoy doing once I get started. If I don't get started, it will take even longer to do, so I should start now, etc.
3) I start a Pomodoro timer. Time to have the feels is over, now to get started and do 25 minutes of whatever it is I need to be doing.
posted by rhythm and booze at 8:50 AM on March 25, 2016 [18 favorites]

I cannot claim total success with this, as I am totally procrastinating by writing this answer....But! I sometimes get myself going by channeling a good ol' boy I worked with at a coffee shop many eons ago. One of his favorite sayings was "ain't nothing to it but to do it", and he was totally right. Please say this with a strong Southern drawl.

If this particular one doesn't work for you, try to find a motto that will. Now, this report isn't going to write itself, so it's back to the salt mines for me.
posted by chocotaco at 8:53 AM on March 25, 2016 [9 favorites]

Basically, I'm like... logically, it doesn't matter if it's hard or not. If I want it to be done, I have to start doing it.

And telling myself "just start doing it" usually helps a lot. I've learned over the years that just getting oriented with something is a task in its own right, so I treat it that way. Then I get the first steps out of the way and generally have a plan going forward, or it's so easy that I end up just getting it done.

I also focus on the fact that I want to be the person who Knows How To Get Things Done. You only learn that by doing it.
posted by stoneandstar at 8:58 AM on March 25, 2016 [2 favorites]

1. Make a list

2. Move the items around in order of priority

3. Break down the top three tasks into sub tasks.

4. Do the tasks one at a time and cross them off as completed.

5. Savor the completion of each sub step. Sometimes reward myself by stopping after a task and doing something very enjoyable for a little bit.
posted by bearwife at 8:58 AM on March 25, 2016 [4 favorites]

For cleaning tasks, at least, it sometimes helps to give myself permission to half-ass it. I usually don't end up half-assing it at all, because it doesn't actually take that long to do ALL the dishes. But if I think "just do SOME dishes, you don't have to do all of them" that at least gets me started and then I realize that it'll be easier to just keep going.
posted by babelfish at 9:10 AM on March 25, 2016 [7 favorites]

I used to dread unloading the dishwasher until I got into a certain kind of instant noodle thing that microwaved up in four minutes. Once I found out it takes me four minutes to unload the dishwasher, I stopped putting it off. I have used the noodle/dishwasher strategy successfully in a few other areas, just a general: this is going to suck and I hate doing it, but it will take all of four minutes, so...
posted by kmennie at 9:11 AM on March 25, 2016 [4 favorites]

It's helped me to realize that all the worrying I'm doing is also work, but it's work that makes me feel worse and doesn't actually get anything done. So if I stop doing that work (normally by reminding myself "You always say that, and it's generally not that big a deal, so stop spiraling out of control with it"), it's easier to do the more productive work of getting the task done.
posted by lazuli at 9:20 AM on March 25, 2016 [9 favorites]

Our music teacher used to say something roughly like "force yourself to feel stage fright right now", now get over it.

Avoiding feeling emotions is sometimes the best way to have them keep on popping up. So, I'd say feel it, pat yourself on the back as it's OK to be human, and carry on.

I can speed up the process, but skipping the process does not actually help me.

(In persistent cases, I need to soul search as sometimes I'm actually dreading something else I will have time to do if I don't procrastinate.)
posted by typecloud at 9:24 AM on March 25, 2016 [2 favorites]

I found that removing the "OH GOD WHY DIDN'T I DO THE THING I'M A FAILURE" judgement from daily tasks really helped. I try to frame it as "I would like this to happen, and until I do the thing, I won't get to enjoy the result." I also stopped doing a lot of stuff when I find the outcome less appealing than the work required. It's a lot like that technique in Feeling Good where if you're worrying, you imagine the worst thing that could happen, and then decide what you would actually do if that happened. Here you're imagining the outcome, and planning what you will do to achieve it, instead of freaking out because you have work you have to do.

1) What is the outcome that you would like? Be specific. I find that "a clean house" is really daunting because it's unspecific. When I narrow it down to "my house is reasonably hygienic, I have a good idea where everything is, and I am comfortable with how it looks" it's not that big of a deal.

2) Research the problem. To reach your desired outcome, what would you have to do? If you don't want to do that, what is your other option? What is the level of "done" that you will accept?

3) Make a plan. Once you know what you have to do, break it into manageable steps. It's OK if you have to break it into very small steps-- you're not making directions for someone else.

4) Estimate the time it will take to carry out the steps on the plan. Pick a day that will work.

5) Do the plan. About halfway through, or if you run into unforeseen problems, return to step 2.

6) When you are done, check if you like the outcome. If not, plan differently next time. Not every plan works out perfectly. If so, kick back for a bit and enjoy the outcome.

If it's a long-term plan, like a career change, or something that will take multiple days to accomplish, and you find yourself worrying about the plan late at night, just ask yourself, "What am I specifically going to do about this at 2AM? Is there anything that would measurably help right now?" Usually the answer is "No, the plan is still on track. The parts you don't have control over are still not in your control."
posted by blnkfrnk at 9:34 AM on March 25, 2016 [7 favorites]

Best answer: When you make your to-do list, write down your predictions of how long something will take and how unpleasant it will be (on a scale of 1-10). As you cross off items, note down how long it actually took and how bad you actually felt doing it. You'll get a realistic idea of how wrong you usually are.
posted by chaiminda at 9:36 AM on March 25, 2016 [11 favorites]

In our house, we use a phrase borrowed from chemistry: initialization energy. As noted several times above, it's getting started that's hard. Once you know that, you can control it. Find a small task to begin with and get started.

For a new project, that small task can be just charting out the steps.
posted by SemiSalt at 9:45 AM on March 25, 2016 [3 favorites]

Lately I've been telling myself life is full of suffering and sucking so take the sucking things for what they are rather than dreading them. Maybe it sounds cynical but it's really helped my productivity at work and other areas of life (like dreadful chores and even getting over small fears and embarassments). You said this isn't a procrastination issue but it sounds like some procrastination is involved - you're putting something off because you know it's going to suck. Feel the suck and do it anyways (someone said that, right?). Learn to enjoy the monotony or suckage of the task at hand. Think about how good it'll feel when it's done and behind you and not weighing on you with its massive amoung of suckage. Accept the peaks and valleys of life and day-to-day life.

For what it's worth, I'm not a believer in the reward system some have suggested, but different thing swork for different people. Although I do think a cup of coffee can help just about anything get done.
posted by atinna at 9:56 AM on March 25, 2016

I've talked about this before but I just don't allow the "Ugh." thoughts to start. That is when I feel them starting I GO DO THE THING. Because otherwise the thing takes twice as long. And if I can't be motivated by doing the thing, at least I can be motivated by saving time, saving money, etc. Don't let the thing you don't like colonize your brain for longer than is necessary. Don't think about it afterwards. Fill your head with things you like to think about. This is best accomplished by doing the thing. Now.
posted by jessamyn at 10:56 AM on March 25, 2016 [2 favorites]

"I don't have to want to do the thing, I just have to do the thing" has also been a helpful realization for me.
posted by lazuli at 11:08 AM on March 25, 2016 [5 favorites]

I usually find it helpful to focus on one task and then ask myself, "When will I do this?" instead of badgering it around in my brain, worrying about how I should have done it days ago, that it will be unpleasant now, etc.

It makes things seem more affirmative? I guess?
posted by Deeleybopper at 2:49 PM on March 25, 2016

Avoidance anxiety is a thing. The thing that made the biggest difference was Xanax. I also overcome the initial resistance but starting a timer for 10 minutes and telling myself anyone can do anything for 10 minutes. And when it is really bad, I give myself a serious talking-to and remind myself that people survived the holocaust, and therefore I will survive this thing I do not want to do.
posted by DarlingBri at 2:59 PM on March 25, 2016 [2 favorites]

"Getting Things Done" by David Allen helped me with this.
posted by onecircleaday at 7:13 PM on March 25, 2016 [1 favorite]

The only way to overcome the resistance is to approach the task sideways, imo. Like I don't want to go to bed right now because I'm not really tired, but it's 3am, so I have to. So I'll go to bed, but only if I bring my Kindle. I'm in my 30s, so, uh. My resistance to doing things I don't want to do is pretty strong if I'm still fighting bedtime.

I have to take tasks I don't want to do and break them down into the smallest possible actions and have all of them in one place (on my Workflowy). Then I have to set short timers and attack the actions one by one. I let myself take breaks to do other stuff, like sometimes play a game on my phone or get a snack or whatever. What I can't do is allow myself to take a break that lasts longer than like 20 minutes or I won't go back to working on the unpleasant task.

That's the only way I get anything done. I'll start attacking things, one action at a time, and I can knock out a ton of random stuff in a day or two doing that. Otherwise I just avoid doing everything until it piles up.

When I was younger, I remember splitting my bedroom mess into small piles, setting an alarm clock to try to race to finish a pile, then reward myself with a bite of chocolate if I had any. So add my vote to unhealthy treats.

I recently learned I have ADHD, but I still need to do all of the above in order to get motivated, get going, and finish the task. When my Workflowy gets ignored, I start procrastinating like crazy.

Another thing is to simplify. If you are being forced to spend a bunch of time to maintain all the items you own or to handle bills or whatever, then find a way to downsize what you own, automate as much as you can, and say no to commitments you don't really need in your life. Pretty soon you'll find you don't even have that many crappy tasks to procrastinate on anymore.
posted by chaos_theory at 11:50 PM on March 25, 2016 [1 favorite]

Eat that Frog! The general idea is to do the most important thing first thing, and if there are two frogs, eat the ugliest one first. So maybe it helps to recognize that the 'ugh' feeling is really you acknowledging that the thing is indeed the ugliest frog. I don't know how much that actually helps with the eating part, but at least you've identified what to eat first.
posted by iamkimiam at 12:56 AM on March 26, 2016

From Overcoming Procrastination by Albert Ellis

We procrastinate because we want comfort and ease. We just want to avoid discomfort. So let's say you want to avoid doing your finances. Think...if you put it off till the last minute and you realize that you're missing some paperwork that will be hard to track down. Will that be more comfortable than just doing your finances early on? No.

Or when I had a loose button on a coat. I wanted to put off sewing it on tighter. However I thought "if I lose this button one day, would it be more relaxing to buy a whole set of buttons and replace them all to match the new one or better to just do a quick tightening of this loose one?"

Give yourself a picture of the more arduous task that will ensue if you procrastinate. If you're really lazy, then the easier task is the small one you can do now and not later when you've got little time and might have misplaced some related items.
posted by Coffeetyme at 8:44 AM on March 26, 2016 [3 favorites]

I like the quote that goes "if you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far (i.e. something difficult) travel in a group."

i.e. to tackle those hard projects, find someone else who's in the same boat and buddy up.
posted by storybored at 6:32 PM on March 28, 2016 [1 favorite]

My latest helpful phrase is "Time to put on your big girl pants." Somehow it gives me permission to have both a petulant child who hates doing stuff, and an adult who gets things done exist in my head simultaneously.
posted by WalkerWestridge at 5:23 PM on March 29, 2016 [1 favorite]