Choosing a professional variation of your name
December 17, 2005 9:44 PM Subscribe
Did you ever reach a crossroads in your life when you had to choose which variation of your name to use professionally? For example, for somebody named Joseph Quailsford Smith: Joseph Q. Smith, or Joe Smith, or Joseph Smith, or J. Q. Smith, or J. Quailsford Smith, or Joseph Quailsford Smith, or Quailsford Smith?
At what age did you choose? How did you choose? What were you looking for in the name you chose to use profesionally?
Did you still go by your familiar name with friends?
If the name you chose to use professionally differed from your familiar name, what was it like for you?
How did the people who called you by your familiar name react when they met or heard people calling you by your professional name?
At what age did you choose? How did you choose? What were you looking for in the name you chose to use profesionally?
Did you still go by your familiar name with friends?
If the name you chose to use professionally differed from your familiar name, what was it like for you?
How did the people who called you by your familiar name react when they met or heard people calling you by your professional name?
I've recently done this, because my dad and I have the same name.
Well, not exactly the same name—our first and last names are the same, but I'm not officially a "comma, junior", because my dad and I have different middle names.
For awhile, I felt like my name was sort of changeable, because my mom calls me by my middle name to differentiate between me and my dad. Specifically, who's being ordered to do something.
She can't yell "John!" around their house, because no one answers to it. Instead, she calls me Charles, or (gack) Charlie. Girls have also affectionately called me Charles on many occasions, so I could see going by it.
I thought for awhile about "professionally"—ie once I get something published—going by variations on my name, such as "J. Charles Mylastname", or "J.C. Mylastname", but in the end, I just went with what's most simple, and what sounds all right to me, and—most importantly—what's the most googleable. I went with "John C. Mylastname", and I think it sounds all right.
Everyone I know just calls me John, but I use the middle initial on resumes, manuscripts, and in my art.
Names have a certain sonority, and for a long time, I invented personalities for the various incarnations of my own, in the style you've listed above. One felt like an 18th century landscape painter. I guess I went with that one.
posted by interrobang at 10:09 PM on December 17, 2005
Well, not exactly the same name—our first and last names are the same, but I'm not officially a "comma, junior", because my dad and I have different middle names.
For awhile, I felt like my name was sort of changeable, because my mom calls me by my middle name to differentiate between me and my dad. Specifically, who's being ordered to do something.
She can't yell "John!" around their house, because no one answers to it. Instead, she calls me Charles, or (gack) Charlie. Girls have also affectionately called me Charles on many occasions, so I could see going by it.
I thought for awhile about "professionally"—ie once I get something published—going by variations on my name, such as "J. Charles Mylastname", or "J.C. Mylastname", but in the end, I just went with what's most simple, and what sounds all right to me, and—most importantly—what's the most googleable. I went with "John C. Mylastname", and I think it sounds all right.
Everyone I know just calls me John, but I use the middle initial on resumes, manuscripts, and in my art.
Names have a certain sonority, and for a long time, I invented personalities for the various incarnations of my own, in the style you've listed above. One felt like an 18th century landscape painter. I guess I went with that one.
posted by interrobang at 10:09 PM on December 17, 2005
The other thing you can do is pick an entirely new name and tell people to call you that.
posted by matkline at 10:10 PM on December 17, 2005
posted by matkline at 10:10 PM on December 17, 2005
About 3 years ago I switched from using the familiar name I grew up with (my middle name) to my first name. The change primarily stemmed from my return to university - I didn't want to hassle with telling every professor "Officially I'm X but please call me Y." Also, I just like my first name a bit better than the middle since it's less common and also not monosyllabic.
I have also switched to introducing myself to new people with my first name rather than my middle name. For the most part it has been fine, and I don't have to think about it if someone calls me by either name. The only real problems have been when old friends meet new friends and get confused. On more than one occasion there has been confusion as neither of two people realized that "Firstname" and "Middlename" were the same person.
The only reaction I've gotten from people who know me by my middle name is questions along the lines of "why did you change your name?" which usually seem to be oriented toward discerning if the name change is geared at some sort of desire to be reborn (not in the Xian sense.) The fact that I don't ask anyone who knew me before the switch to change what they call me generally answers that.
posted by sanko at 10:20 PM on December 17, 2005
I have also switched to introducing myself to new people with my first name rather than my middle name. For the most part it has been fine, and I don't have to think about it if someone calls me by either name. The only real problems have been when old friends meet new friends and get confused. On more than one occasion there has been confusion as neither of two people realized that "Firstname" and "Middlename" were the same person.
The only reaction I've gotten from people who know me by my middle name is questions along the lines of "why did you change your name?" which usually seem to be oriented toward discerning if the name change is geared at some sort of desire to be reborn (not in the Xian sense.) The fact that I don't ask anyone who knew me before the switch to change what they call me generally answers that.
posted by sanko at 10:20 PM on December 17, 2005
My grandfather, my father, and I are all Robert. We all have different middle names, but we all hate them or at least prefer Robert or it's variation. I don't care for my middle name because it's an uncommon name and even more uncommon spelling of the name. Plus I can't use the first intial plus middle name combo because 'R. Arlon' sounds like something a stuttering pirate would say.
So it worked out:
Grandfather: Bob
Father: Rob and Robbie
Me: Bobby or Robert
I have always been called Bobby at home and still am. At work and at school, I have always gone by Robert. It all started because there was another Bobby in Junior High who always ended up in the same classes as me who's last name started with the same first letter but came first alphabetically. So, rather than be the Other Bobby, I became Robert.
I think the hardest thing is trying to determine when to use the Professional name and when to use my Nickname. Because I've always introduced myself at school as Robert, some of my closest friends now refer to me as Robert. I'd love for them (well, some of them) to feel OK with calling me Bobby, but I doubt it'll ever happen. To them, I'm Robert.
posted by aristan at 10:26 PM on December 17, 2005
So it worked out:
Grandfather: Bob
Father: Rob and Robbie
Me: Bobby or Robert
I have always been called Bobby at home and still am. At work and at school, I have always gone by Robert. It all started because there was another Bobby in Junior High who always ended up in the same classes as me who's last name started with the same first letter but came first alphabetically. So, rather than be the Other Bobby, I became Robert.
I think the hardest thing is trying to determine when to use the Professional name and when to use my Nickname. Because I've always introduced myself at school as Robert, some of my closest friends now refer to me as Robert. I'd love for them (well, some of them) to feel OK with calling me Bobby, but I doubt it'll ever happen. To them, I'm Robert.
posted by aristan at 10:26 PM on December 17, 2005
I was probably about 28 when this happened:
It's not that I make it a habit of using celebrities as role models, but I happened to catch a lengthy interview with Laurence Fishburne on A&E. Here, to the best of my recollection, is the story he told:
He'd been going by the name "Larry" for years, but he was working on some project with Roscoe Lee Browne and Browne would not refer to Fishburne by any name other than "Laurence" (apparently Browne's real-life personality isn't that different from the characters he usually portrays -- he would have made a great Prof. Kingsfield.)
Finally, the young know-it-all Fishburne confronts the veteran Browne and says something along the lines of "Hey man, my name is Larry."
Browne's reply was more or less, "No, your name is Laurence and that's what I'm going to call you." Of course, the implications went beyond the words spoken; Browne's message was that Larry, by not embracing his given name, was acting like a kid. Furthermore, Browne demanded Fishburne respect him (and himself) enough to act like a man around him and one of the ways he was getting that point across was by refusing to call him by a kid's name.
Now, was this condescending asshattery on Browne's part? Doy. But it also struck some kind of chord in the kid Larry and he started billing himself as Laurence after that. I recall him saying that that moment kind of jump-started him and got him thinking more like an adult and behaving with more self-respect (of course, I suspect it's hard not to be jump-started by Roscoe Lee Browne if that's what he wants to do -- the man has the best voice EVAR.) This was also the start of a long relationship where he came to embrace Browne as his mentor.
Maybe I misremembered some of the story -- I couldn't find it online to check -- but that's the way I want to remember it. And the way Laurence Fishburne told it (very matter-of-factly, with some humor, but getting the point across) affected me enough that I started using my full name (not George, btw) professionally rather than the shortened version I had gone by before. And doing this seemed to give me the license to behave more seriously and professionally at work, and give my opinions more weight. Everybody tends to drop back to the short form after they've known me a while, but it's the long form that's on my business cards, for example, and that's the name that makes the first impression.
With my friends, it's always the short name, but my family's always called me by the long name (and it still drives me nuts!) It's totally weird when I call my sister-in-law and identify myself by the short name, but my brother calls me by the long name. I don't think she's figured out how to deal with it yet either.
posted by Opposite George at 10:40 PM on December 17, 2005
It's not that I make it a habit of using celebrities as role models, but I happened to catch a lengthy interview with Laurence Fishburne on A&E. Here, to the best of my recollection, is the story he told:
He'd been going by the name "Larry" for years, but he was working on some project with Roscoe Lee Browne and Browne would not refer to Fishburne by any name other than "Laurence" (apparently Browne's real-life personality isn't that different from the characters he usually portrays -- he would have made a great Prof. Kingsfield.)
Finally, the young know-it-all Fishburne confronts the veteran Browne and says something along the lines of "Hey man, my name is Larry."
Browne's reply was more or less, "No, your name is Laurence and that's what I'm going to call you." Of course, the implications went beyond the words spoken; Browne's message was that Larry, by not embracing his given name, was acting like a kid. Furthermore, Browne demanded Fishburne respect him (and himself) enough to act like a man around him and one of the ways he was getting that point across was by refusing to call him by a kid's name.
Now, was this condescending asshattery on Browne's part? Doy. But it also struck some kind of chord in the kid Larry and he started billing himself as Laurence after that. I recall him saying that that moment kind of jump-started him and got him thinking more like an adult and behaving with more self-respect (of course, I suspect it's hard not to be jump-started by Roscoe Lee Browne if that's what he wants to do -- the man has the best voice EVAR.) This was also the start of a long relationship where he came to embrace Browne as his mentor.
Maybe I misremembered some of the story -- I couldn't find it online to check -- but that's the way I want to remember it. And the way Laurence Fishburne told it (very matter-of-factly, with some humor, but getting the point across) affected me enough that I started using my full name (not George, btw) professionally rather than the shortened version I had gone by before. And doing this seemed to give me the license to behave more seriously and professionally at work, and give my opinions more weight. Everybody tends to drop back to the short form after they've known me a while, but it's the long form that's on my business cards, for example, and that's the name that makes the first impression.
With my friends, it's always the short name, but my family's always called me by the long name (and it still drives me nuts!) It's totally weird when I call my sister-in-law and identify myself by the short name, but my brother calls me by the long name. I don't think she's figured out how to deal with it yet either.
posted by Opposite George at 10:40 PM on December 17, 2005
I am in the same situation as interrobang, with a similar name to my father. Almost eerily the same, in fact, including the "not really a Jr." bit. But I've always gone by my middle name, even before I had a choice. The only good time to change it would have been entering college, and I didn't want to. So I go by J. Quailsford Smith, officially, and Quailsford Smith informally.
Note that using a middle initial and middle name doesn't work fantastic in real life, where forms only handle first names.
posted by smackfu at 10:49 PM on December 17, 2005
Note that using a middle initial and middle name doesn't work fantastic in real life, where forms only handle first names.
posted by smackfu at 10:49 PM on December 17, 2005
A friend of mine in high school had a fancy weird first name and a normal second name, something like "Constancia Jane" (names made up, of course). She was always Constancia when she was little, but once she went to high school, she registered under Jane, and everyone who only knew her from there (including me) would refer to her as Jane, even though she still went by Constancia to other people. If I called her house and asked for "Jane", her mom would yell "Constancia!!!!!" to get her to the phone. She went to college under Jane, but somewhere during that time I think she did go back to Constancia, or was just using it more often.
It was never a problem for her to use different names in different occassions. Of course would happen once in a while that she was in a setting where some people called her Jane and others called her Constancia. When people heard the other name for the first time they'd be a little confused and surprised, but it was immediately accpted, and sometimes just a seed for conversation ("So when/why did you change your name?")
posted by easternblot at 10:49 PM on December 17, 2005
It was never a problem for her to use different names in different occassions. Of course would happen once in a while that she was in a setting where some people called her Jane and others called her Constancia. When people heard the other name for the first time they'd be a little confused and surprised, but it was immediately accpted, and sometimes just a seed for conversation ("So when/why did you change your name?")
posted by easternblot at 10:49 PM on December 17, 2005
I am in the process of re-naming myself, right now. The timing is somewhat planned because I am in school right now and I'd like to have it be settled before I enter more of a professional world.
...So in my decisions about naming myself, I've considered everything; what last name to have, what middle, first. What do the iniitials spell out (or don't)? How does it sound as John D. Doe, versus John Doe, versus J. D. Doe?
If you're interested, here is how I constructed my new name;
My new Last name was my previous first name. I kept it because it is interesting and part of my person.
My new middle name is the name my mother would have given me had I been born XY male.
My new first name came from looking through books and name websites and trying things out in my head and thinking of meanings I wanted to associate with myself and even phonetic sounds I liked the ring of.
The name: Leander Geoffrey (pronounced Jeffrey) Star, or, professionally speaking, Leander G. Star
posted by fireflies to stars at 11:09 PM on December 17, 2005
...So in my decisions about naming myself, I've considered everything; what last name to have, what middle, first. What do the iniitials spell out (or don't)? How does it sound as John D. Doe, versus John Doe, versus J. D. Doe?
If you're interested, here is how I constructed my new name;
My new Last name was my previous first name. I kept it because it is interesting and part of my person.
My new middle name is the name my mother would have given me had I been born XY male.
My new first name came from looking through books and name websites and trying things out in my head and thinking of meanings I wanted to associate with myself and even phonetic sounds I liked the ring of.
The name: Leander Geoffrey (pronounced Jeffrey) Star, or, professionally speaking, Leander G. Star
posted by fireflies to stars at 11:09 PM on December 17, 2005
Lean der? Lee ann der? Gee off ree? Man, are you going to love telemarketers and just about ever CSR ever.
posted by kcm at 11:11 PM on December 17, 2005
posted by kcm at 11:11 PM on December 17, 2005
My name is Susan, but I have been going by Sue since I was 13, and I really don't like being called Susan. When I started my career in the professial world, though, I was a little wary of sounding unprofessional by something other than my full given name. For that reason, I identified myself in my outgoing voice mail message as Susan [Lastname].
Very early on, someone very senior who had just called and heard my outgoing message asked if I preferred to be called Susan or Sue. When I said "Sue," he said to start introducing myself as Sue immediately. I'm really glad that he did. And I find that (perhaps not surprisingly) plenty of the professionals with whom I deal go by short, familiar first names in most contexts.
Nowadays, on professional or serious written documents I'm Susan [M.I.] [Lastname] but everywhere else I'm Sue [Lastname].
posted by sueinnyc at 11:14 PM on December 17, 2005
Very early on, someone very senior who had just called and heard my outgoing message asked if I preferred to be called Susan or Sue. When I said "Sue," he said to start introducing myself as Sue immediately. I'm really glad that he did. And I find that (perhaps not surprisingly) plenty of the professionals with whom I deal go by short, familiar first names in most contexts.
Nowadays, on professional or serious written documents I'm Susan [M.I.] [Lastname] but everywhere else I'm Sue [Lastname].
posted by sueinnyc at 11:14 PM on December 17, 2005
to KCM- I know!! I hardly ever deal with CSR ever. The one exception to that is the public library (when I get calls that my held books are in, etc.)
It is Hilarious! Love It.
posted by fireflies to stars at 11:19 PM on December 17, 2005
It is Hilarious! Love It.
posted by fireflies to stars at 11:19 PM on December 17, 2005
I had always been called, by family and friends and teachers, by a nickname that was very diminutive, sort of like Joey-boy Quailsford Smith, except feminine. My parents liked that nickname so much that they had wanted to make it my official name, but gave me a lengthened version because I "might become the president of a car dealership, and how would that look on the door" (that's the actual quote).
I don't think they ever expected me to start going by my full first name (Joseph Smith or Joseph Q. Smith in your example). I tried it for awhile as I was starting to do some academic stuff, but it really did feel like a bit too much.
Eventually, rather than lengthen my name, I wound up shortening it still more -- from the equivalent of Joey-boy to that of Joe. I usually go by the female "Joe Q. Smith" when I'm writing, and obviously just my shortened first nickname (the female "Joe," rather than "Joey-boy") when someone's talking to me. My friends adapted to "Joe" fast, although my parents now call me what would be the same as "Joey" (still an improvement on the "Joey-boy"-type diminutive, though).
N.B.: Although I've been doing some academic and professional work already, I'm far from established -- I'm just in college. I may still have plenty of name changes left in me. This is just what's worked for me so far.
posted by booksandlibretti at 11:49 PM on December 17, 2005
I don't think they ever expected me to start going by my full first name (Joseph Smith or Joseph Q. Smith in your example). I tried it for awhile as I was starting to do some academic stuff, but it really did feel like a bit too much.
Eventually, rather than lengthen my name, I wound up shortening it still more -- from the equivalent of Joey-boy to that of Joe. I usually go by the female "Joe Q. Smith" when I'm writing, and obviously just my shortened first nickname (the female "Joe," rather than "Joey-boy") when someone's talking to me. My friends adapted to "Joe" fast, although my parents now call me what would be the same as "Joey" (still an improvement on the "Joey-boy"-type diminutive, though).
N.B.: Although I've been doing some academic and professional work already, I'm far from established -- I'm just in college. I may still have plenty of name changes left in me. This is just what's worked for me so far.
posted by booksandlibretti at 11:49 PM on December 17, 2005
My given name (first/last) is the same as a former Major League Baseball player who has written several books on baseball and has a ballfield named for him at the University of Arizona, where he was a coach for many years. If there would be any reason to change my professional name, that would be it. I haven't bothered, though, and it hasn't caused any difficulty.
posted by kindall at 12:08 AM on December 18, 2005
posted by kindall at 12:08 AM on December 18, 2005
I changed the pronunciation of my last name. 99% of my ancestors/very distant relatives pronounce my last name the way I now do. But a large portion of my immediate and extended family uses a bizarre and non-sensical pronunciation. I stuck with this until I was 20 and working in Quebec. I realized that no Quebecois was going to take my pronunciation seriously and that I actually liked the proper pronunciation better than the one my family used. Also, I discovered that my family's pronunciation had an unfortunate slang meaning. So, over the next 2 or 3 years, I transitioned to the "correct" pronunciation. 10 or so years later, everyone knows me by this name. Even my parents use it. It always sounds funny to me when I say it -- except when I speak French -- but it's a lot easier than explaining the pronunciation to people. It isn't embarassing and it's a heck of a lot more professional.
And, when I got married, I kept my name. It works for me and I wouldn't want to re-brand.
posted by acoutu at 12:31 AM on December 18, 2005
And, when I got married, I kept my name. It works for me and I wouldn't want to re-brand.
posted by acoutu at 12:31 AM on December 18, 2005
Oh, I should add that I never told my dad's relatives that I changed the pronunciation. When my best man used "my" pronunciation at my wedding, my uncles and aunt all kept shouting the family's pronunciation back at him. Very confusing for all. I decided not to tell them, because they'd freak. But my parents and siblings are okay with it.
posted by acoutu at 12:34 AM on December 18, 2005
posted by acoutu at 12:34 AM on December 18, 2005
In retrospect, I am surprised it took me as long as it did to reach the obvious conclusion about which name(s) to use. If you want people to remember your name -- and in most professions, you do -- pick the one that is more likely to stick with them.
As for what various people call you, the easiest and best thing is to let people use the name they're comfortable with (unless, of course, you're not comfortable with it). I've known a number of people who go by multiple names, and it's not a big deal when people who know them by different names interact socially.
posted by jjg at 1:57 AM on December 18, 2005
As for what various people call you, the easiest and best thing is to let people use the name they're comfortable with (unless, of course, you're not comfortable with it). I've known a number of people who go by multiple names, and it's not a big deal when people who know them by different names interact socially.
posted by jjg at 1:57 AM on December 18, 2005
I first knew a friend by his middle name (along with his family/friends), but when he and I moved to another company together he started going by his first name. For him, this was very easy - people at the new job called him FirstName, everyone else called him MiddleName. I was the one caught in-between and it was very annoying. He was even little annoyed when I called him FirstName around his family during Thanksgiving.
As for me, my name is Joseph but everyone calls me Joe. I don't think I've ever told anyone to call me Joe and my business card/email address say Joseph. However, I sign my work emails with Joe and always refer to myself that way. I know lots of Michaels and Davids with the same situation. A few co-workers have continued to call me Joseph despite knowing that I go by Joe, and I've always thought it was slightly awkward and condescending.
On the other hand, I find it incredibly endearing when a girl I like calls me Joseph. Bizarrely so, actually. This probably says something strange about me.
posted by mullacc at 3:12 AM on December 18, 2005
As for me, my name is Joseph but everyone calls me Joe. I don't think I've ever told anyone to call me Joe and my business card/email address say Joseph. However, I sign my work emails with Joe and always refer to myself that way. I know lots of Michaels and Davids with the same situation. A few co-workers have continued to call me Joseph despite knowing that I go by Joe, and I've always thought it was slightly awkward and condescending.
On the other hand, I find it incredibly endearing when a girl I like calls me Joseph. Bizarrely so, actually. This probably says something strange about me.
posted by mullacc at 3:12 AM on December 18, 2005
I switched from Joseph to Quailsford when I went to college. Many years later, I was married and had kids 10 and 12 years old. My wife has a brother also named Joe. My sister and her kids were coming to visit, and a call came on the cell phone when they were almost there. "Is Uncle Joe there?" My kids of course indignantly answered, "Of course not. He doesn't live here," and her kids of course had no idea what to make of this and hung up. My sister had to call back.
That is about the only difficulty I have experienced.
posted by yclipse at 4:03 AM on December 18, 2005
That is about the only difficulty I have experienced.
posted by yclipse at 4:03 AM on December 18, 2005
When I was 22 or 23 and starting out at my job, I added my middle initial to my letterhead/business card, probably out of some desire to appear more adult. While I haven't really regretted the decision (because, after all, it's not really that important), I wouldn't do the same thing now. Nobody cares about how serious your name looks (unless one of your options, "Skippy," for example, is a huge albatross), and you're not going to trick anyone for more than a very short period of time. I'd just go with whatever you're comfortable with. If you've become uncomfortable with what you're currently using, a new job or a promotion or whatever is a perfectly good time to change.
posted by MarkAnd at 7:51 AM on December 18, 2005
posted by MarkAnd at 7:51 AM on December 18, 2005
Another Robert/Robbie. I've gone by Robbie my entire life (I'm almost 32) and I sort of fee like I should switch to Robert in my workplace, but I don't know how to make the transition.
I think Robert sounds more professional/mature, but I've been there for 4 years and would feel silly announcing that people should refer to me using a different name from now on. So I'll probably try to make that change if/when I get a new job. I use Robert on my resume just in case.
My family and close friends will always call me Robbie, which I don't mind.
My dad, who's name was also Robert, went by Bob for most of his life.
posted by robbie01 at 8:11 AM on December 18, 2005
I think Robert sounds more professional/mature, but I've been there for 4 years and would feel silly announcing that people should refer to me using a different name from now on. So I'll probably try to make that change if/when I get a new job. I use Robert on my resume just in case.
My family and close friends will always call me Robbie, which I don't mind.
My dad, who's name was also Robert, went by Bob for most of his life.
posted by robbie01 at 8:11 AM on December 18, 2005
I started using my full first and last names as my professional name. Made the decision at my first real job out of college, when they asked what should go on my business card.
Well, maybe it was on my resume, too, but I don't remember.
posted by joshjs at 8:26 AM on December 18, 2005
Well, maybe it was on my resume, too, but I don't remember.
posted by joshjs at 8:26 AM on December 18, 2005
I usually use my last name when I introduce people. Because A) It's easy to say B) it's easy for people to remember C) People can't figure out a way to shorten it. Remember folks, if someone introduces themself as David, they probably DON"T want to be called Dave. Otherwise they would have introduced themselves as such.
posted by KirTakat at 9:28 AM on December 18, 2005
posted by KirTakat at 9:28 AM on December 18, 2005
Long forms strike me as pretentious. If people generally call you Joe Smith, then that's your name. No?
Likewise middle initials. Why bother with "Joseph Q. Smith", unless you need to avoid confusion with another Joe Smith?
Social psychologists call this impression management, trying to wrangle others' impressions of us. To me it seems inauthentic; I'd rather be myself.
posted by futility closet at 9:30 AM on December 18, 2005
Likewise middle initials. Why bother with "Joseph Q. Smith", unless you need to avoid confusion with another Joe Smith?
Social psychologists call this impression management, trying to wrangle others' impressions of us. To me it seems inauthentic; I'd rather be myself.
posted by futility closet at 9:30 AM on December 18, 2005
I hope the NSA forwards this discussion to the TSA. I use the short form of my name, but my passport lists the long form. After umpteen occasions, I am still offended when TSA screeners imply I'm trying to put one past them by having the short name on my ticket and the long name on my passport. Never mind the sad irony of using my passport for domestic travel...
posted by Triode at 11:51 AM on December 18, 2005
posted by Triode at 11:51 AM on December 18, 2005
When I started my MFA program, I was called into the secretary's office about my transcript. I had attended a summer program at a school in London, but someone else with my first and last name had attended during the academic year and the wrong transcript was sent. Also, I found out that there is someone else with my first and last name who writes, so I have to use my middle initial.
When I was in Hebrew school, I didn't like the way Yehudit sounded (my English name would have been Judith but my parents decided there were already too many Judys in the family), so I insisted on being called Sharon,--with the Hebrew pronunciation-- which is also my middle name in English.
I usually introduce myself with my full first name until I am more at ease, then I use the diminutive--but I don't like being called by just the first syllable.
posted by brujita at 11:59 AM on December 18, 2005
When I was in Hebrew school, I didn't like the way Yehudit sounded (my English name would have been Judith but my parents decided there were already too many Judys in the family), so I insisted on being called Sharon,--with the Hebrew pronunciation-- which is also my middle name in English.
I usually introduce myself with my full first name until I am more at ease, then I use the diminutive--but I don't like being called by just the first syllable.
posted by brujita at 11:59 AM on December 18, 2005
I plan to use M. James Moore as a professional writing name (but not for singing checks) because really, 'Michael Moore' would get me too easily confused methinks.
posted by vanoakenfold at 12:12 PM on December 18, 2005
posted by vanoakenfold at 12:12 PM on December 18, 2005
I am a fourth, IV. I don't like my first or middle names -- while commonly used in 1900, they sound archaic today.
So I've always gone by an anagram of my last name, but because the two sound so similar, when I got to college I go tired of repeating/explaining myself. So I started using my first and middle initial + my last name.
Now, faced with entering the professional world, I don't like that and I am completely lost. I want to change my name without hurting my dad's feelings too much.
Are there any cool/cogent/not-lame sounding names that mean "fourth?"
posted by fourstar at 12:24 PM on December 18, 2005
So I've always gone by an anagram of my last name, but because the two sound so similar, when I got to college I go tired of repeating/explaining myself. So I started using my first and middle initial + my last name.
Now, faced with entering the professional world, I don't like that and I am completely lost. I want to change my name without hurting my dad's feelings too much.
Are there any cool/cogent/not-lame sounding names that mean "fourth?"
posted by fourstar at 12:24 PM on December 18, 2005
I was called Debi (my mum decided on that spelling) by my family when growing up (I was also called George - I'm the only girl in a bunch of boys and that was my "boy" name). When I started working it was still Debi. At one point I tried to get everyone to change to Deborah but it didn't work very well (I probably wasn't very insistent). I changed offices (same company) and insisted on Deborah and it caught on. My family (except for my mum, husband and in-laws) still call me Debi. It irks me to no end. On paper (resumes, credit cards, bank acounts, etc.) I use Deborah Middleinitial Marriedlastname. I use my full middle name on legal/government documents (passport, driver's license, etc.).
As for why - Debi is a little kid, Deborah is an adult. Not to mention the "Debbie Does Dallas" jokes. Yeah, like I haven't heard that one before.
My husband grew up using his middle name (it seems to be a family tradition). When he went to college and started working he started using his first name. His family still calls him by his middle name except for the family members he sees often. I'm usually with him when he sees them and they (mostly) remember to call him by his first name (which is what he prefers). On paper and legally he does the same thing I do.
When trying to irk (teasingly) each other, he'll use Debi and I'll call him by his middle name. It's weird.
posted by deborah at 1:42 PM on December 18, 2005
As for why - Debi is a little kid, Deborah is an adult. Not to mention the "Debbie Does Dallas" jokes. Yeah, like I haven't heard that one before.
My husband grew up using his middle name (it seems to be a family tradition). When he went to college and started working he started using his first name. His family still calls him by his middle name except for the family members he sees often. I'm usually with him when he sees them and they (mostly) remember to call him by his first name (which is what he prefers). On paper and legally he does the same thing I do.
When trying to irk (teasingly) each other, he'll use Debi and I'll call him by his middle name. It's weird.
posted by deborah at 1:42 PM on December 18, 2005
Long forms strike me as pretentious. If people generally call you Joe Smith, then that's your name. No?
Why are others allowed to decide what my name is. It's my name. I get to pick what I'm called. Well, me and my mother. You try telling her I'm Robert now.
Social psychologists call this impression management, trying to wrangle others' impressions of us. To me it seems inauthentic; I'd rather be myself.
I'm not sure how that works, FC. If I let other people decide what my name is, I'm being authentic and being myself... If I change my name to something I personally prefer... I'm a phony?
Did I wonder into an Opposite Sketch?
posted by aristan at 2:41 PM on December 18, 2005
Why are others allowed to decide what my name is. It's my name. I get to pick what I'm called. Well, me and my mother. You try telling her I'm Robert now.
Social psychologists call this impression management, trying to wrangle others' impressions of us. To me it seems inauthentic; I'd rather be myself.
I'm not sure how that works, FC. If I let other people decide what my name is, I'm being authentic and being myself... If I change my name to something I personally prefer... I'm a phony?
Did I wonder into an Opposite Sketch?
posted by aristan at 2:41 PM on December 18, 2005
In "real life" I have always gone by "David" except with intimates and close family who are allowed to called me "Davey" (so my screen name here is a deliberate misspelling and a contextual upheaval).
Someone who's called me "Dave" has thus signalled the kind of unforgivable arrogance that scratches one off my "potential intimates list," as if I'd invited the person to call me by a familiar label "Dave" is not the one I would have suggested. I don't think of myself as "Dave" nor does anybody who knows me call me that. (Except rarely to pick on me or to signal displeasure, and only if we're closely related.)
I do likewise myself: if you sign yourself "Jonathan Q. Public" I'll call you "Mr. Public" or in a more familiar context maybe "Jonathan." I won't call you "Johnnyboy" or "John-John" unless that's what you tell me what to call you. (Unless of course it's online in public, like when I pick on "Quonsar" etc., though in person or in email I'd follow my own rule; similarly, I'm not as offended by being called "idiot" or something here as if you'd called me that to my literal face.)
In my opinion someone who is not an intimate should consider oneself lucky I don't insist in being called "Mister Mylastname"; if I introduce myself as "David" that's what you should call me until I say otherwise -- which I almost never do, and when I do I never ever say "Call me Dave."
/rant
posted by davy at 6:33 PM on December 18, 2005
Someone who's called me "Dave" has thus signalled the kind of unforgivable arrogance that scratches one off my "potential intimates list," as if I'd invited the person to call me by a familiar label "Dave" is not the one I would have suggested. I don't think of myself as "Dave" nor does anybody who knows me call me that. (Except rarely to pick on me or to signal displeasure, and only if we're closely related.)
I do likewise myself: if you sign yourself "Jonathan Q. Public" I'll call you "Mr. Public" or in a more familiar context maybe "Jonathan." I won't call you "Johnnyboy" or "John-John" unless that's what you tell me what to call you. (Unless of course it's online in public, like when I pick on "Quonsar" etc., though in person or in email I'd follow my own rule; similarly, I'm not as offended by being called "idiot" or something here as if you'd called me that to my literal face.)
In my opinion someone who is not an intimate should consider oneself lucky I don't insist in being called "Mister Mylastname"; if I introduce myself as "David" that's what you should call me until I say otherwise -- which I almost never do, and when I do I never ever say "Call me Dave."
/rant
posted by davy at 6:33 PM on December 18, 2005
28; first academic publication. When I got my proofs on-line, I found that, by some weird coincidence, a book was being reviewed in the same journal issue whose author had the exact same first and last name as me. (Neither name is especially common.)
I emailed the editor suggesting that I be credited by initials instead, and, well, that was it ...
posted by Sonny Jim at 11:58 PM on December 18, 2005
I emailed the editor suggesting that I be credited by initials instead, and, well, that was it ...
posted by Sonny Jim at 11:58 PM on December 18, 2005
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posted by lorrer at 9:49 PM on December 17, 2005