What to expect when you're . . . a gal getting up there.
February 6, 2016 2:02 PM Subscribe
I'm looking for anecdata about, basically, the different things that start going wrong in your body at different ages. So that they aren't COMPLETE surprises to me when they show up. Examples might be: "Dad started to develop incontinance at age 79" and "my nose hairs turned grey and started to need extra trimming at age 63".
There are lots of books on aging gracefully, and a few very scientific ones about the breakdown of subnuclearpeptidearachnocelluloid molecules (and such) as a result of age, but no convenient summary of what aches, pains, irritations and grossness to expect and approximately when. Lacking a complaining mother or grandmother who lists off all her ailments, I turn to the hive mind.
Give me your anecdata for whatever you can think of? Say age 40ish onward?
Thanks in advance.
There are lots of books on aging gracefully, and a few very scientific ones about the breakdown of subnuclearpeptidearachnocelluloid molecules (and such) as a result of age, but no convenient summary of what aches, pains, irritations and grossness to expect and approximately when. Lacking a complaining mother or grandmother who lists off all her ailments, I turn to the hive mind.
Give me your anecdata for whatever you can think of? Say age 40ish onward?
Thanks in advance.
Mom: Started to develop (mild!) incontinence in her early 50s - she wears those Poise pads now. Her hearing seems to be going a tiny bit - I just noticed it last time she visited me, she's in her mid-50s. And while she's always been hot-natured and wanted the house at 67F all year round, has recently been cold and wanting the house around 72F. (People always seem to like a warmer house as they get older!)
Dad: Started gaining weight in his late-40s, despite no changes in diet/exercise. It's more noticeable now (in his mid-50s). He started making what we call "old man noises" in his early 50s. I'm not really sure how to describe these noises... they are involuntary little grunts and gargles. My grandpa had this too and my dad was appalled when it happened to him.
posted by schroedingersgirl at 2:14 PM on February 6, 2016 [2 favorites]
Dad: Started gaining weight in his late-40s, despite no changes in diet/exercise. It's more noticeable now (in his mid-50s). He started making what we call "old man noises" in his early 50s. I'm not really sure how to describe these noises... they are involuntary little grunts and gargles. My grandpa had this too and my dad was appalled when it happened to him.
posted by schroedingersgirl at 2:14 PM on February 6, 2016 [2 favorites]
As you approach 40, your optometrist will start bringing up bifocals. A year or two after 40, you're likely to actually need them.
posted by dilettante at 2:19 PM on February 6, 2016 [9 favorites]
posted by dilettante at 2:19 PM on February 6, 2016 [9 favorites]
Rheumatism, at around 60-ish. Can't wait till my body develops into a weather forecast system.
posted by 0cm at 2:20 PM on February 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by 0cm at 2:20 PM on February 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
Muscle mass, for one, starts going downhill around 40:
posted by un petit cadeau at 2:21 PM on February 6, 2016 [2 favorites]
Is physical frailty inevitable as we grow older? That question preoccupies scientists and the middle-aged, particularly when they become the same people. Until recently, the evidence was disheartening. A large number of studies in the past few years showed that after age 40, people typically lose 8 percent or more of their muscle mass each decade, a process that accelerates significantly after age 70.However, if you go on to read the article, evidence suggests that most of this decline can be prevented by staying active and maintaining a regular fitness regimen. There may be some selection bias in play — those who were able to stay active as they aged may have been healthier to begin with — although the article also mentions that experiments done in mice suggest that there's still quite a bit of benefit to be got even if starting from a sedentary lifestyle.
posted by un petit cadeau at 2:21 PM on February 6, 2016 [2 favorites]
Around 40, many people will start needing reading glasses.
Around the same time, it becomes a lot easier to gain weight while maintaining the same diet you had before.
At 45, one of the bones in my foot shifted downwards. Walking became painful. I wear orthopedic insoles now. It helps a lot. They're not cheap.
I'm definitely less supple/agile than I was ten years ago. I'm approaching 50.
My periods are changing a little: the familiar patterns are changing and getting a bit vague/messy. I think I may be in perimenopause.
posted by Too-Ticky at 2:21 PM on February 6, 2016 [3 favorites]
Around the same time, it becomes a lot easier to gain weight while maintaining the same diet you had before.
At 45, one of the bones in my foot shifted downwards. Walking became painful. I wear orthopedic insoles now. It helps a lot. They're not cheap.
I'm definitely less supple/agile than I was ten years ago. I'm approaching 50.
My periods are changing a little: the familiar patterns are changing and getting a bit vague/messy. I think I may be in perimenopause.
posted by Too-Ticky at 2:21 PM on February 6, 2016 [3 favorites]
I just want to chime in to mention that I have a dear friend who is 60, and he is one of the most flexible people I know. He gained a bunch of weight in his 40s, then started doing yoga at 50. Now he can practically tie himself in a knot and is in great health despite basically living on coffee and cigarettes. His knees get stiff after kneeling for long periods, but mine are worse and I'm only 36. So I think it really depends on your genetics and how much effort you put into maintaining your body.
Also, once your estrogen starts to drop, your body loses it's ability to regulate core temperature (hello menopause hot flashes!) but you can take supplements to help with that. My mom is post-menopausal but can't take supplements because she had breast cancer, so she is always hot and keeps her house at 65 degrees.
posted by ananci at 2:22 PM on February 6, 2016 [6 favorites]
Also, once your estrogen starts to drop, your body loses it's ability to regulate core temperature (hello menopause hot flashes!) but you can take supplements to help with that. My mom is post-menopausal but can't take supplements because she had breast cancer, so she is always hot and keeps her house at 65 degrees.
posted by ananci at 2:22 PM on February 6, 2016 [6 favorites]
Around 40:
Your hair texture starts changing, but it's slow enough that you'll spend a year or more going "why did they change the formula on my conditioner/gel/color???" All your body hair, in fact, gets weirder.
Getting tired. My ability to stay up until midnight by choice and have fun doing so went from "I better be a little careful" to "nope" between 38 and 42.
Suddenly not being able to read ingredients or instructions on store-bought products.
Related: needing to turn a light on to accomplish things.
Even without kids, I started peeing when I sneezed if I was real full around 35. At 44 I automatically clench when a sneeze is coming. Sometimes it still doesn't work.
Yeah, perimenopause. My periods are always a surprise now (or, well, sometimes there's nuclear-grade PMS as a warning, sometimes not), and the content and duration is anyone's guess.
Let's not even talk about the beard.
Pooping starts being a thing you actually have to think about.
You turn into your mother. I haven't quite reached "why would you leave the house after dark unless it was an emergency?" levels, but I have reached "I can cook that better at home" and "it's just too loud/cold/uncomfortable/expensive and I've got TV I can watch."
posted by Lyn Never at 2:27 PM on February 6, 2016 [22 favorites]
Your hair texture starts changing, but it's slow enough that you'll spend a year or more going "why did they change the formula on my conditioner/gel/color???" All your body hair, in fact, gets weirder.
Getting tired. My ability to stay up until midnight by choice and have fun doing so went from "I better be a little careful" to "nope" between 38 and 42.
Suddenly not being able to read ingredients or instructions on store-bought products.
Related: needing to turn a light on to accomplish things.
Even without kids, I started peeing when I sneezed if I was real full around 35. At 44 I automatically clench when a sneeze is coming. Sometimes it still doesn't work.
Yeah, perimenopause. My periods are always a surprise now (or, well, sometimes there's nuclear-grade PMS as a warning, sometimes not), and the content and duration is anyone's guess.
Let's not even talk about the beard.
Pooping starts being a thing you actually have to think about.
You turn into your mother. I haven't quite reached "why would you leave the house after dark unless it was an emergency?" levels, but I have reached "I can cook that better at home" and "it's just too loud/cold/uncomfortable/expensive and I've got TV I can watch."
posted by Lyn Never at 2:27 PM on February 6, 2016 [22 favorites]
Joint stiffness after fifty. Working on stuff on the floor while squatting or kneeling becomes a lot harder...it's much harder to get up, at least. Also night time leg restlessness. After 40, more skin weirdness, in my case seborrheic keratosis. Urination happens much more frequently and is harder to shut off completely. After 45, we become increasingly gross and disgusting.
posted by bonobothegreat at 2:28 PM on February 6, 2016 [4 favorites]
posted by bonobothegreat at 2:28 PM on February 6, 2016 [4 favorites]
For gals in particular, it seems to be the case that how your body changes as you age depends somewhat on whether you've had kids and if so, how many.
And pregnancy definitely seems to shake many of us out of that mindset you get into in your early twenties where you start thinking this is the body you'll have until you die. There's a reason midlife seems to hit men so much harder. Pregnancy reminds us that bodies aren't constant.
posted by town of cats at 2:32 PM on February 6, 2016 [3 favorites]
And pregnancy definitely seems to shake many of us out of that mindset you get into in your early twenties where you start thinking this is the body you'll have until you die. There's a reason midlife seems to hit men so much harder. Pregnancy reminds us that bodies aren't constant.
posted by town of cats at 2:32 PM on February 6, 2016 [3 favorites]
You know how to party like a 22-year-old, and you have more money to do it up right this time. But at 42, it just means you'll spend twice as much on artisanal cocktails that leave you with a hangover that is twice as bad. Your wallet and taste improved with time. Your liver and kidneys didn't.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 2:35 PM on February 6, 2016 [16 favorites]
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 2:35 PM on February 6, 2016 [16 favorites]
Yes to the beard, but on the plus side by 45 I basically only had to shave my legs and underarms once or twice a month, and the unibrow is definitely never coming back. Also, pubes turn grey, right? I haven't gotten there yet.
Your teeth will start to feel the impact of all your years of eating and biting your nails and opening beer bottles and ripping open packages.
I don't have wrinkles at rest, I'm more of a sagger.
Old people nails
Random wild hairs
Everything takes longer to recover from.
posted by Room 641-A at 2:41 PM on February 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
Your teeth will start to feel the impact of all your years of eating and biting your nails and opening beer bottles and ripping open packages.
I don't have wrinkles at rest, I'm more of a sagger.
Old people nails
Random wild hairs
Everything takes longer to recover from.
posted by Room 641-A at 2:41 PM on February 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
Oh yeah: it will become more and more clear to you that in your head you are still somewhere between 29 and 32. And not just, like, "oh, I can jump over that thing" or "I can stay up until 4am" but "JESUS CHRIST IS THAT ME IN THE MIRROR/PHOTOGRAPH??" sort of internal image of yourself.
But yet also, people your age still look pretty young to you. A little of that is science and culture, I think - 50 year old public figures today, for example, look identifiably younger than from 50 year old public figures from 30/60/90 years ago - but some of it is plain old perspective. 44 used to be ancient, and now it's the thing I will turn tomorrow.
posted by Lyn Never at 2:42 PM on February 6, 2016 [17 favorites]
But yet also, people your age still look pretty young to you. A little of that is science and culture, I think - 50 year old public figures today, for example, look identifiably younger than from 50 year old public figures from 30/60/90 years ago - but some of it is plain old perspective. 44 used to be ancient, and now it's the thing I will turn tomorrow.
posted by Lyn Never at 2:42 PM on February 6, 2016 [17 favorites]
I asked a related although not identical question not long ago.
posted by zadcat at 2:42 PM on February 6, 2016
posted by zadcat at 2:42 PM on February 6, 2016
Confirming pubes turn gray.
I started to occasionally need reading glasses last year (at age 45), which was a shock to me (I've always had 20/20 vision, and one eye I even have 20/10). I can get away with the weakest strength glasses, and I can get away without them altogether in bright light, but still it was a surprise.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 2:58 PM on February 6, 2016 [2 favorites]
I started to occasionally need reading glasses last year (at age 45), which was a shock to me (I've always had 20/20 vision, and one eye I even have 20/10). I can get away with the weakest strength glasses, and I can get away without them altogether in bright light, but still it was a surprise.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 2:58 PM on February 6, 2016 [2 favorites]
Life rocks once you get through menopause. (Aside from the facial hair and grey pubes of course). But oh the joy of digging around under the bathroom sink for your travel toothbrush and finding a box of tampons shoved to the back and topped with a layer with dust? OH MY GOD it's so great to be done with menstruating.
posted by Mary Ellen Carter at 3:18 PM on February 6, 2016 [22 favorites]
posted by Mary Ellen Carter at 3:18 PM on February 6, 2016 [22 favorites]
Each body is different. My great-aunt was still playing long classical pieces perfectly on her piano at 99. My grandmother still worked part-time in a bookstore until she was 86.
I'm over sixty, I'm strong and flexible. I weigh the same as I did at 18, and I've had children. I eat reasonably well, exercise regularly, get plenty of sleep and have no real problems. Yes, I started needed glasses for reading when I was in my forties. A couple of years ago I got some for driving.
You won't know till you get there, stay active whatever your age.
posted by mareli at 3:23 PM on February 6, 2016 [6 favorites]
I'm over sixty, I'm strong and flexible. I weigh the same as I did at 18, and I've had children. I eat reasonably well, exercise regularly, get plenty of sleep and have no real problems. Yes, I started needed glasses for reading when I was in my forties. A couple of years ago I got some for driving.
You won't know till you get there, stay active whatever your age.
posted by mareli at 3:23 PM on February 6, 2016 [6 favorites]
All things worsen. But change, though it takes place, is in part determined by genes and what you do or do not do. In short: begin to take care of yourself early. Eat properly. Exercise, but know what to do and not do,ie, not just muscles but build core, tai chi perhaps or yoga for balance and flexibility. Have general checkup yearly. Teeth always a problem because they were not programmed to last as long as life expectancy is today. Eyes of course change but this too can be corrected with visits for checkups. Arthritis: sure. But this for many people can be handled with exercise, otc meds. You are you and not me or someone else. Me? I am 86, read a lot, drive, happy marriage. No peeing issues. I eat with very hardy appetite. Yes, you will put on weight but that too can be monitored and no need to put on too much. hair will turn color or thin a bit.
Recovery in all things takes longer. You may find yourself getting sad, depressed readily. In part because you see those you knew and loved getting ill and/or dying.
Too, you will find that you are out of the sexually attractive game and thus seem shunted aside, a watcher rather than a player. Ok. then watch and smile...all you need remember is this:
NOTHING PERSISTS BUT CHANGE
posted by Postroad at 3:27 PM on February 6, 2016 [40 favorites]
Recovery in all things takes longer. You may find yourself getting sad, depressed readily. In part because you see those you knew and loved getting ill and/or dying.
Too, you will find that you are out of the sexually attractive game and thus seem shunted aside, a watcher rather than a player. Ok. then watch and smile...all you need remember is this:
NOTHING PERSISTS BUT CHANGE
posted by Postroad at 3:27 PM on February 6, 2016 [40 favorites]
subnuclearpeptidearachnocelluloid molecules
Which we all know are what causes spider veins.... Which I have been getting for many years thanks to Mom's side of the family but they aren't a surprise for me.
What is a surprise to me (although it apparently shouldn't have been) is that that I think I'm going to need bifocals pretty soon. My eyesight (nearsighted) has been quite stable for a long time. Now I'm thinking it's changing again. So I was kind of blindsided by my eyesight change. har har.
It's harder and harder to lose weight as I get older. So if you need to do that, start now.
Good question!
posted by Beti at 3:28 PM on February 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
Which we all know are what causes spider veins.... Which I have been getting for many years thanks to Mom's side of the family but they aren't a surprise for me.
What is a surprise to me (although it apparently shouldn't have been) is that that I think I'm going to need bifocals pretty soon. My eyesight (nearsighted) has been quite stable for a long time. Now I'm thinking it's changing again. So I was kind of blindsided by my eyesight change. har har.
It's harder and harder to lose weight as I get older. So if you need to do that, start now.
Good question!
posted by Beti at 3:28 PM on February 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
50-ish female here . . .
I only have to shave my legs about twice a month now --but I do have to deal with waxing my upper lip pretty regularly, so I guess it all evens out.
I rarely sleep all the way through the night anymore unless I'm exhausted. If I'm not in bed by 9:30-10 pm, I consider that "staying up late."
My joints have been getting increasingly creaky, but yoga really helps with that.
I have to pay attention to what I eat or the weight comes on pretty quickly.
Once your body stabilizes after menopause, not dealing with periods is THE BEST.
posted by bookmammal at 3:35 PM on February 6, 2016 [7 favorites]
I only have to shave my legs about twice a month now --but I do have to deal with waxing my upper lip pretty regularly, so I guess it all evens out.
I rarely sleep all the way through the night anymore unless I'm exhausted. If I'm not in bed by 9:30-10 pm, I consider that "staying up late."
My joints have been getting increasingly creaky, but yoga really helps with that.
I have to pay attention to what I eat or the weight comes on pretty quickly.
Once your body stabilizes after menopause, not dealing with periods is THE BEST.
posted by bookmammal at 3:35 PM on February 6, 2016 [7 favorites]
Everything takes longer to recover from.
Quoted for truth. I can still stay up all night, riding my motorcycle with way too much stuff strapped to the back, and baking pancakes in parking lots (don't ask). But afterwards, it takes me longer to feel like myself again.
posted by Too-Ticky at 3:35 PM on February 6, 2016 [3 favorites]
Quoted for truth. I can still stay up all night, riding my motorcycle with way too much stuff strapped to the back, and baking pancakes in parking lots (don't ask). But afterwards, it takes me longer to feel like myself again.
posted by Too-Ticky at 3:35 PM on February 6, 2016 [3 favorites]
Things I noticed starting in my early to mid 40's:
After working in the garden, scrabbling around in the dirt with my hands, my fingers would be noticeably abraded. This never happened when I was younger. I began to see why people might wear gardening gloves. In general, I started finding that minor scrapes and scratches took longer to heal.
I needed less sleep. I became more likely to wake up during the night and have a hard time going back to sleep. I also began noticing that eating certain things (like cookies) in the evening could interfere with my sleep. When I was younger, nothing I ate ever affected my sleep. But those sleep interruptions aren't a huge problem because I just don't need as much sleep as I used to.
There's a single hair that sprouts from my chin and gets long if I don't pluck it.
My hips (particularly one of them) sometimes hurt at night in bed, especially if I've gotten a lot of exercise that day.
My night vision isn't as good.
I don't have as much energy for physical activity as I used to.
Starting in my mid to late 40's:
I started feeling sore after minor physical work that in the past might hardly have felt like work - things like shoveling snow or even just stacking wood. A few times I've developed fairly long-lasting soreness (tendonitis or something like that) after minor arm strain.
I developed very mild asthma when I had never had it before.
Little particles of food seem to get stuck in my tonsils, leading to mild soreness and a bad taste in my mouth. I notice it particularly after eating things like corn chips, crumbly cookies, or raspberries (the seeds.) I had a couple of tonsil stones for the first time in my late 30's. I don't tend to get those now, but I very often feel as if there's a little something in my tonsils. (I've started gargling and it seems to help.)
Starting in my late 40's to early 50's:
My balance began to get worse. Suddenly (or pretty quickly, anyway) stepping from rock to rock while hiking went from something I didn't even think about to something that actually felt a little tricky. I began to feel I could lose my balance in situations where I had never even had to think about balance in the past.
I began to have a harder time hearing things that other people around me (like my kids) could hear. My hearing still seems to be pretty good overall, but there are definite signs that it's not what it used to be.
The decreased need for sleep and ability to sleep soundly, the night vision difficulties, the soreness and slow healing, and the decreased energy all got more and more noticeable.
posted by Redstart at 3:37 PM on February 6, 2016 [4 favorites]
After working in the garden, scrabbling around in the dirt with my hands, my fingers would be noticeably abraded. This never happened when I was younger. I began to see why people might wear gardening gloves. In general, I started finding that minor scrapes and scratches took longer to heal.
I needed less sleep. I became more likely to wake up during the night and have a hard time going back to sleep. I also began noticing that eating certain things (like cookies) in the evening could interfere with my sleep. When I was younger, nothing I ate ever affected my sleep. But those sleep interruptions aren't a huge problem because I just don't need as much sleep as I used to.
There's a single hair that sprouts from my chin and gets long if I don't pluck it.
My hips (particularly one of them) sometimes hurt at night in bed, especially if I've gotten a lot of exercise that day.
My night vision isn't as good.
I don't have as much energy for physical activity as I used to.
Starting in my mid to late 40's:
I started feeling sore after minor physical work that in the past might hardly have felt like work - things like shoveling snow or even just stacking wood. A few times I've developed fairly long-lasting soreness (tendonitis or something like that) after minor arm strain.
I developed very mild asthma when I had never had it before.
Little particles of food seem to get stuck in my tonsils, leading to mild soreness and a bad taste in my mouth. I notice it particularly after eating things like corn chips, crumbly cookies, or raspberries (the seeds.) I had a couple of tonsil stones for the first time in my late 30's. I don't tend to get those now, but I very often feel as if there's a little something in my tonsils. (I've started gargling and it seems to help.)
Starting in my late 40's to early 50's:
My balance began to get worse. Suddenly (or pretty quickly, anyway) stepping from rock to rock while hiking went from something I didn't even think about to something that actually felt a little tricky. I began to feel I could lose my balance in situations where I had never even had to think about balance in the past.
I began to have a harder time hearing things that other people around me (like my kids) could hear. My hearing still seems to be pretty good overall, but there are definite signs that it's not what it used to be.
The decreased need for sleep and ability to sleep soundly, the night vision difficulties, the soreness and slow healing, and the decreased energy all got more and more noticeable.
posted by Redstart at 3:37 PM on February 6, 2016 [4 favorites]
I think you're really better off with stats and looking at your own personal and family history, too much variability in our anecdata. A lot of things that show up are going to be your vulnerabilities, coming to the fore. I (not yet 40) acquired a nasty crop of overuse injuries in my 30s, but none of my friends have - I'm hypermobile & always had bad biomechanics; my friends aren't hypermobile and seem to have normal bones & alignment etc.; this happened after a sudden increase in activity after having been mostly sedentary as part of a weight loss program; someone with decent genes who'd stayed at a stable weight, and had a lot of training years behind them and good coaching will not have my problems. Most people I know who are my age are active - still skiing, swimming, playing ball games recreationally, no problems. I know people in their 60s who hike on weekends and have only mild aches and pains. So your mileage will *definitely* vary.
That said, I'm noticing a lot of (i.e. some) deaths of people in my age group starting to happen within my wider network at ~40ish - cancer; oddball diseases here and there. (I'm paying attention to that, though, selection bias possible.) I hear about thyroid issues more often (and had to have mine checked).
2nd hangovers sucking inordinately more than before, though.
Confirming pubes turn gray.
whoa. if so, laser before that happens would be wise. presuming one doesn't want that (which may not be the case).
posted by cotton dress sock at 3:43 PM on February 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
That said, I'm noticing a lot of (i.e. some) deaths of people in my age group starting to happen within my wider network at ~40ish - cancer; oddball diseases here and there. (I'm paying attention to that, though, selection bias possible.) I hear about thyroid issues more often (and had to have mine checked).
2nd hangovers sucking inordinately more than before, though.
Confirming pubes turn gray.
whoa. if so, laser before that happens would be wise. presuming one doesn't want that (which may not be the case).
posted by cotton dress sock at 3:43 PM on February 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
I am a 43 year old woman.
I started getting wild gray eyebrow hair when I turned 40. And now I am getting stiff grey (mustache?) hairs at the corner of my upper lips. I pluck them immediately, but it's definitely a "whoa" moment. I pee more often because of the sneezing thing mentioned above. I never had kids, and now I'm casting a wary side-eye at the usefulness of kegels. Twenty years ago colds were NOTHING. Now they wear me down and drop into my chest so often that the doc gave me a daily inhaler to use to prevent that. (It works!)
I get food stuck between my teeth more often, and I choke on my own saliva more.
There are fewer weddings and more funerals, and it's really easy now for me to get hung up on that.
I'm not a Toby Keith fan, but he has a song with the line: "I ain't as good as I once was. But I'm as good once as I ever was" and oh so true, so true.
Despite all of this, nothing is awful. I laugh at most of it and people still think I'm fun to be around.
posted by kimberussell at 3:48 PM on February 6, 2016 [3 favorites]
I started getting wild gray eyebrow hair when I turned 40. And now I am getting stiff grey (mustache?) hairs at the corner of my upper lips. I pluck them immediately, but it's definitely a "whoa" moment. I pee more often because of the sneezing thing mentioned above. I never had kids, and now I'm casting a wary side-eye at the usefulness of kegels. Twenty years ago colds were NOTHING. Now they wear me down and drop into my chest so often that the doc gave me a daily inhaler to use to prevent that. (It works!)
I get food stuck between my teeth more often, and I choke on my own saliva more.
There are fewer weddings and more funerals, and it's really easy now for me to get hung up on that.
I'm not a Toby Keith fan, but he has a song with the line: "I ain't as good as I once was. But I'm as good once as I ever was" and oh so true, so true.
Despite all of this, nothing is awful. I laugh at most of it and people still think I'm fun to be around.
posted by kimberussell at 3:48 PM on February 6, 2016 [3 favorites]
I was inordinately proud of my good teeth. Yay, only a couple of cavities in my whole life, no issues besides an occasional cleaning. I went without dental insurance coverage for a while, but then got a job in my early fifties that offered dental HMO coverage very cheaply. That was the best thing I've done by accident in a long time. Within two years I had two teeth crack, which the dentist said is fairly common in our fifties. It would have been very expensive had I not had coverage.
Now I'm dealing with arthritis in my knees. I realize that the way my mother and grandmother walked was due to pain. It sucks.
On the plus side I have finally learned patience. And am probably happier now than in my misspent youth, although perhaps that is the beginning of memory issues. : ) Also as others have asserted, my drinking days are over unless I want to die by hangover. I wonder about older people I see drinking, are they just super human? Or just super dedicated to booze. It's a conundrum.
posted by readery at 3:55 PM on February 6, 2016 [2 favorites]
Now I'm dealing with arthritis in my knees. I realize that the way my mother and grandmother walked was due to pain. It sucks.
On the plus side I have finally learned patience. And am probably happier now than in my misspent youth, although perhaps that is the beginning of memory issues. : ) Also as others have asserted, my drinking days are over unless I want to die by hangover. I wonder about older people I see drinking, are they just super human? Or just super dedicated to booze. It's a conundrum.
posted by readery at 3:55 PM on February 6, 2016 [2 favorites]
Confirming pubes turn gray.
whoa. if so, laser before that happens would be wise. presuming one doesn't want that (which may not be the case).
Oh, no, don't waste your money; the hair will be gone soon, too! Put those laser dollars towards bifocals, which ain't cheap.
I'm casting a wary side-eye at the usefulness of kegels.
The first time you realize this, your vagina emits a sad trombone sound. :-(
posted by Room 641-A at 4:05 PM on February 6, 2016 [11 favorites]
whoa. if so, laser before that happens would be wise. presuming one doesn't want that (which may not be the case).
Oh, no, don't waste your money; the hair will be gone soon, too! Put those laser dollars towards bifocals, which ain't cheap.
I'm casting a wary side-eye at the usefulness of kegels.
The first time you realize this, your vagina emits a sad trombone sound. :-(
posted by Room 641-A at 4:05 PM on February 6, 2016 [11 favorites]
There seems to be an uptick in stupidity -- walking into a room and forgetting why you went there, calling a kid by the cat's name, losing things; these all get more and more common, I think. After many years of impeccable spelling and grammar, I now occasionally catch myself starting to type or say the wrong word.
I'm only 41 but several joints went to hell a few years ago, and there is not much on offer at my age; artificial ones have limited lifespans and surgeons are not keen on giving them to younger folk. I wish I had enjoyed sporting stuff and been more active.
There is a lot more maintenance. I see doctors more often. I pluck previously non-existent hairs. Fussy gums mean more diligence with the Water Pik. Every so often a 'pre-cancerous lesion' is identified and frozen off. I have elective surgery coming up and it was on a laundry list of things to talk about with my GP, and I almost didn't bother bringing it up because I so dreaded yet another thing to be treated for and recover from. I draw a circle with a clear wax around my lips before putting on lipstick so it doesn't "feather," which it does even though I don't seem particularly wrinkly. Fibre supplements become a product of interest. You fuss with new products for your increasingly different hair/skin/odours; it's a bit like a repeat of puberty in that way.
Definitely agree that recovery takes longer -- from colds, from minor injuries, from too little sleep or too much booze, anything and everything. You know the phenomenon where persons holding notable public office seem to age rapidly while in office? Pregnancy seems to be like that -- it was like cramming a decade's worth of aging into a single year. A number of its side effects (vertigo, a previously unknown tendency to belch, etc) did not go away after the birth. I don't have anything to prove or disprove this, but I suspect women who give birth at a younger age 'bounce back' more easily than those who put it off.
There are pluses. Naps, which my 8yo thinks are a ridiculous idea, are very luxurious. Many of your friends are aging with you and you can have a laugh about this stuff. A lot of bodily shame goes out the window; there's just no way to keep being embarrassed about being a mammal after your body has failed you enough times; you have to start laughing at it or go nuts, I think.
posted by kmennie at 4:09 PM on February 6, 2016 [4 favorites]
I'm only 41 but several joints went to hell a few years ago, and there is not much on offer at my age; artificial ones have limited lifespans and surgeons are not keen on giving them to younger folk. I wish I had enjoyed sporting stuff and been more active.
There is a lot more maintenance. I see doctors more often. I pluck previously non-existent hairs. Fussy gums mean more diligence with the Water Pik. Every so often a 'pre-cancerous lesion' is identified and frozen off. I have elective surgery coming up and it was on a laundry list of things to talk about with my GP, and I almost didn't bother bringing it up because I so dreaded yet another thing to be treated for and recover from. I draw a circle with a clear wax around my lips before putting on lipstick so it doesn't "feather," which it does even though I don't seem particularly wrinkly. Fibre supplements become a product of interest. You fuss with new products for your increasingly different hair/skin/odours; it's a bit like a repeat of puberty in that way.
Definitely agree that recovery takes longer -- from colds, from minor injuries, from too little sleep or too much booze, anything and everything. You know the phenomenon where persons holding notable public office seem to age rapidly while in office? Pregnancy seems to be like that -- it was like cramming a decade's worth of aging into a single year. A number of its side effects (vertigo, a previously unknown tendency to belch, etc) did not go away after the birth. I don't have anything to prove or disprove this, but I suspect women who give birth at a younger age 'bounce back' more easily than those who put it off.
There are pluses. Naps, which my 8yo thinks are a ridiculous idea, are very luxurious. Many of your friends are aging with you and you can have a laugh about this stuff. A lot of bodily shame goes out the window; there's just no way to keep being embarrassed about being a mammal after your body has failed you enough times; you have to start laughing at it or go nuts, I think.
posted by kmennie at 4:09 PM on February 6, 2016 [4 favorites]
the hair will be gone soon, too!
not particularly reassuring? also, i feel like somehow controlling the rate and amount of loss might be useful, psychologically.
I'm only 40 but catching up with old friends involves less drinking and retelling raunchy stories about our youth and more intense talk about poop and medications and our ailing parents...
yes, 2nd this. lots of people's parents are ailing or... no longer ailing. lots of talk about that. the midlife crisis appears to be a real thing.
posted by cotton dress sock at 4:14 PM on February 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
not particularly reassuring? also, i feel like somehow controlling the rate and amount of loss might be useful, psychologically.
I'm only 40 but catching up with old friends involves less drinking and retelling raunchy stories about our youth and more intense talk about poop and medications and our ailing parents...
yes, 2nd this. lots of people's parents are ailing or... no longer ailing. lots of talk about that. the midlife crisis appears to be a real thing.
posted by cotton dress sock at 4:14 PM on February 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
I am early forties and it's getting tough for me to shift my vision from looking at something close to looking at something far. It takes a while to refocus, sometimes I have to close my eyes.
Sometimes my hip feels like it's out of it's socket if I sit wrong. I gotta kink it around to convince it to slip back into place.
I think I got my first old age spot, but I'll have the derm check it out instead. Hard to tell because it looked like one of my old psoriasis spots in a new place at first. Those flare up when I'm stressed or my immune system is going on a binge.
And my hair is thinning. Used to be a cyclical shedding thing but it's noooooot coming back. Which is good, because I'm tired of dyeing it. Time to start investing in wigs.
posted by tilde at 4:16 PM on February 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
Sometimes my hip feels like it's out of it's socket if I sit wrong. I gotta kink it around to convince it to slip back into place.
I think I got my first old age spot, but I'll have the derm check it out instead. Hard to tell because it looked like one of my old psoriasis spots in a new place at first. Those flare up when I'm stressed or my immune system is going on a binge.
And my hair is thinning. Used to be a cyclical shedding thing but it's noooooot coming back. Which is good, because I'm tired of dyeing it. Time to start investing in wigs.
posted by tilde at 4:16 PM on February 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
The best and most surprising thing that has happened to me so far is that as a life-time shortsighted glasses-wearer, my eyesight has gradually been improving as I get closer to 40, to the point that I don't wear my glasses anymore except for driving. My optometrist says it's incipient long-sightedness cancelling out the short-sightedness and that I'll eventually need bifocals, or best case, reading glasses, but for now it's pretty awesome.
posted by lollusc at 4:23 PM on February 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by lollusc at 4:23 PM on February 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
Forties++ here. Scrapes take a nearly infinite amount of time to heal. Putting on weight for a long winter nap becomes much easier.
On the other hand, I started lifting regularly for the first time since college, and my shoulders are broader and my core is stronger than ever, so effort is still rewarding.
posted by zippy at 5:10 PM on February 6, 2016 [3 favorites]
On the other hand, I started lifting regularly for the first time since college, and my shoulders are broader and my core is stronger than ever, so effort is still rewarding.
posted by zippy at 5:10 PM on February 6, 2016 [3 favorites]
Around my 53rd birthday, my facial and body hair started getting darker.
Also, from my wife:
At 45, the chin hairs came, and I’ve been plucking them ever since. I expect to have a full beard by the time I’m 75.
Around 55, I noticed everything on me started to droop: breasts, buttocks, jowls. Everything got droopy.
posted by maurreen at 5:27 PM on February 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
Also, from my wife:
At 45, the chin hairs came, and I’ve been plucking them ever since. I expect to have a full beard by the time I’m 75.
Around 55, I noticed everything on me started to droop: breasts, buttocks, jowls. Everything got droopy.
posted by maurreen at 5:27 PM on February 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
I started running this year and I'm 46! ALWAYS hated anything to do with running, couldn't go longer than 2 minutes without side aches and extreme boredom...I'd walk on the treadmill a few times a week and that's about it. I gave up smoking and here I am....made a pact with myself to learn to run, today I ran 30 minutes straight and I feel good, in fact I feel better (younger) than I have in years!
One thing that gives me trouble is perimenopause, it makes me go through bouts of EXTREME anger for a few days, not sure what to do about that.
posted by irish01 at 5:31 PM on February 6, 2016 [8 favorites]
One thing that gives me trouble is perimenopause, it makes me go through bouts of EXTREME anger for a few days, not sure what to do about that.
posted by irish01 at 5:31 PM on February 6, 2016 [8 favorites]
A couple of comments reminded have me that the after 50, I've noticed a general lack of agility that is most pronounced when hopping down off anything more than a foot high. I don't do it casually.
posted by bonobothegreat at 5:48 PM on February 6, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by bonobothegreat at 5:48 PM on February 6, 2016 [2 favorites]
Fairly minor though chronic back pain started around 30
Gums began to give me trouble and skin issues (benign lumps, mild psoriasis) around 35. These might have been more related to pregnancy than age though.
More weirdo hairs in weirdo places in late 30s. The first grey hairs started to appear on my head.
Early-mid 40s have seen a regular period become rather irregular, increased discomfort during ovulation, minor aches in joints, need for reading glasses, diminished night vision, and (yay!) the ability to function well on quite a bit less sleep.
Watching my (active) parents knees/standing become an issue mid-late 60's, hearing is starting to become an issue in early 70s.
posted by Cuke at 7:31 PM on February 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
Gums began to give me trouble and skin issues (benign lumps, mild psoriasis) around 35. These might have been more related to pregnancy than age though.
More weirdo hairs in weirdo places in late 30s. The first grey hairs started to appear on my head.
Early-mid 40s have seen a regular period become rather irregular, increased discomfort during ovulation, minor aches in joints, need for reading glasses, diminished night vision, and (yay!) the ability to function well on quite a bit less sleep.
Watching my (active) parents knees/standing become an issue mid-late 60's, hearing is starting to become an issue in early 70s.
posted by Cuke at 7:31 PM on February 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
late 40s here:
reading glasses (but my normal eyesight is getting better)
harder to recover fitness condition if I'm out a few weeks with injury or illness (although I started marathon length running in my 40s, and love it, if that makes you feel better)
turned into a total morning person somewhere around 42. No idea why
alcohol gives me more of a hangover
my eyebrows are going grey, but not my hair on my head. who knew this was possible?
More sag on my neck which I hate enough to contemplate surgery
I have cheekbones all of a sudden. Since I had a round face to start, this is not awful.
posted by frumiousb at 7:34 PM on February 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
reading glasses (but my normal eyesight is getting better)
harder to recover fitness condition if I'm out a few weeks with injury or illness (although I started marathon length running in my 40s, and love it, if that makes you feel better)
turned into a total morning person somewhere around 42. No idea why
alcohol gives me more of a hangover
my eyebrows are going grey, but not my hair on my head. who knew this was possible?
More sag on my neck which I hate enough to contemplate surgery
I have cheekbones all of a sudden. Since I had a round face to start, this is not awful.
posted by frumiousb at 7:34 PM on February 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
Tangentially relevant: the Guardian this weekend on keeping the doctor at bay.
posted by zadcat at 8:00 PM on February 6, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by zadcat at 8:00 PM on February 6, 2016 [2 favorites]
My optometrist: Have you noticed any changes in your vision?
55 year old me: Yes, when I look at streetlights or car headlights I see...
My optometrist: Starbursts. Your lenses are hardening. You are right on schedule. We can replace them.
posted by Multicellular Exothermic at 8:10 PM on February 6, 2016 [5 favorites]
55 year old me: Yes, when I look at streetlights or car headlights I see...
My optometrist: Starbursts. Your lenses are hardening. You are right on schedule. We can replace them.
posted by Multicellular Exothermic at 8:10 PM on February 6, 2016 [5 favorites]
LOL...the two examples you gave...subtract 30-40 years and 20 years respectively. :/
Of course, everyone's body is weird and disgusting...my beard has never really filled in (except that one weird spot on my cheek) and it's already going grey. In patches. Also the nose hair. Well, not grey exactly, but white...which is sorta cooler i guess.
posted by sexyrobot at 8:16 PM on February 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
Of course, everyone's body is weird and disgusting...my beard has never really filled in (except that one weird spot on my cheek) and it's already going grey. In patches. Also the nose hair. Well, not grey exactly, but white...which is sorta cooler i guess.
posted by sexyrobot at 8:16 PM on February 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
My teeth seem to have moved into different positions than they were when I was younger and I'm only 37! o_O
posted by Jacqueline at 8:27 PM on February 6, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by Jacqueline at 8:27 PM on February 6, 2016 [2 favorites]
In my mid 40s & fat distribution is changing. I was always a pear, with any extra weight mostly on my hips & thighs. Now my gut sticking out surprises me every time I take my clothes off. This also happened to my mother.
posted by cantthinkofagoodname at 8:32 PM on February 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by cantthinkofagoodname at 8:32 PM on February 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
My teeth seem to have moved into different positions than they were when I was younger
My dentist tells me that as we grow older, our lower jaw contracts, so our lower teeth don't fit right any more. That's exactly what InvisAlign was invented for.
posted by Multicellular Exothermic at 9:13 PM on February 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
My dentist tells me that as we grow older, our lower jaw contracts, so our lower teeth don't fit right any more. That's exactly what InvisAlign was invented for.
posted by Multicellular Exothermic at 9:13 PM on February 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
I am in my 50s. I am having a hard time articulating this, but on the one hand I started caring more about certain things and on the other hand I could not care less about most things. In theory I have become more progressive and in practice more conservative.
Oh. My hearing is going. I still play hockey, basketball and softball pretty regularly (season permitting) but I use my head more than my athletic ability now. I hit for singles almost every time up now rather than trying to crush the homer. In hockey, I am much more aware of angles and positioning than using my speed (non existent now) to play defense.
Night driving in the rain now concerns me a little. I take fiber daily. I eat less and sleep less. If I get 6 hours of sleep in a night, I am happy.
I am much more aware of time. Time it takes to do things, time in the day, week, month, year. I appreciate that my time here is limited now and I therefore should not pass up opportunities to do certain things or say things to people. I figure I got about 30 years left and considering I graduated from college about 30 years ago and that seems like yesterday, the last 30 years will fly by.
I can now, finally grow a really full beard. I now don't want to. I don't heal as fast as I used to. Recovering from a hockey game takes me an extra day or two now. Gordie Howe is my friggin hero.
My left knee hurts. I do not know if that is because I am old and have used/abused it for years or because of something specific I did.
I take medications daily once I hit about 50. Cholesterol drugs and blood pressure.
I don't think I feel any worse now than I did 20 years ago after drinking 10 beers in a night. I felt like shit then and now. I drink a lot more water now though.
I finally understand that some people, myself included, look much better with clothes on. In my youth, less than 40?, I did not get this concept.
I have to shake it an extra few times to get out that last drop. But, when that last drop is showing in my crotch as I walk out of the bathroom, I just don't care anymore.
When I turned about 45, I started forgetting acquaintances names, but could still remember all sorts of random facts about them. I call a lot of younger acquaintances "Tiger" now because of it.
I am not sure if my balance is worse at 50, or I am more afraid of the consequences, but I no longer am so willing to climb a big ladder.
Interestingly, to me at least, while I have been salt and pepper haired since about 38 (much more salt now) I have no grey pubes.
I find that I am much more conscience of my salt intake since about 50 as it makes me retain water and feel bloated.
I have not been to a McDonalds since I turned 42. I think it was, what we refer to in my family, as the incident in stall number 1 at the Vince Lombardi Service Center, that happened about 47 minutes after we stopped for fast food.
I just noticed the other day that my fingernails seem to grow back much faster now.
Edit: On post view, brevity seems to have left me.
posted by AugustWest at 10:11 PM on February 6, 2016 [7 favorites]
Oh. My hearing is going. I still play hockey, basketball and softball pretty regularly (season permitting) but I use my head more than my athletic ability now. I hit for singles almost every time up now rather than trying to crush the homer. In hockey, I am much more aware of angles and positioning than using my speed (non existent now) to play defense.
Night driving in the rain now concerns me a little. I take fiber daily. I eat less and sleep less. If I get 6 hours of sleep in a night, I am happy.
I am much more aware of time. Time it takes to do things, time in the day, week, month, year. I appreciate that my time here is limited now and I therefore should not pass up opportunities to do certain things or say things to people. I figure I got about 30 years left and considering I graduated from college about 30 years ago and that seems like yesterday, the last 30 years will fly by.
I can now, finally grow a really full beard. I now don't want to. I don't heal as fast as I used to. Recovering from a hockey game takes me an extra day or two now. Gordie Howe is my friggin hero.
My left knee hurts. I do not know if that is because I am old and have used/abused it for years or because of something specific I did.
I take medications daily once I hit about 50. Cholesterol drugs and blood pressure.
I don't think I feel any worse now than I did 20 years ago after drinking 10 beers in a night. I felt like shit then and now. I drink a lot more water now though.
I finally understand that some people, myself included, look much better with clothes on. In my youth, less than 40?, I did not get this concept.
I have to shake it an extra few times to get out that last drop. But, when that last drop is showing in my crotch as I walk out of the bathroom, I just don't care anymore.
When I turned about 45, I started forgetting acquaintances names, but could still remember all sorts of random facts about them. I call a lot of younger acquaintances "Tiger" now because of it.
I am not sure if my balance is worse at 50, or I am more afraid of the consequences, but I no longer am so willing to climb a big ladder.
Interestingly, to me at least, while I have been salt and pepper haired since about 38 (much more salt now) I have no grey pubes.
I find that I am much more conscience of my salt intake since about 50 as it makes me retain water and feel bloated.
I have not been to a McDonalds since I turned 42. I think it was, what we refer to in my family, as the incident in stall number 1 at the Vince Lombardi Service Center, that happened about 47 minutes after we stopped for fast food.
I just noticed the other day that my fingernails seem to grow back much faster now.
Edit: On post view, brevity seems to have left me.
posted by AugustWest at 10:11 PM on February 6, 2016 [7 favorites]
I'm mid-forties. I get a lot more indigestion now. I no longer have what in my youth I referred to as my iron stomach.
In general, I'm more aware of my organs doing their thing. I feel my heart beating, my stomach digesting, my intestines struggling if I don't get enough fiber. It doesn't all feel as automatic as it did when I was younger.
I also have that thing where all my fat seems to have migrated to my stomach.
My feet hurt if I don't treat them right. When shopping for shoes I pay more attention to comfort than fashion.
My neck creaks when I turn my head from side to side. I think it's arthritis.
I look before I leap, now. I'm more aware of slippery surfaces like hotel bathroom floors and I think more about where I'm going to put my feet. I think this (like a lot of the stuff above) is going to escalate as I get older.
Oh, and I can't sleep through the night without having to get up to urinate. I pay attention to not drinking too many fluids in the evening because of this, so I can have a glass of something with dinner or a cup of tea after but not both.
posted by hazyjane at 10:44 PM on February 6, 2016 [2 favorites]
In general, I'm more aware of my organs doing their thing. I feel my heart beating, my stomach digesting, my intestines struggling if I don't get enough fiber. It doesn't all feel as automatic as it did when I was younger.
I also have that thing where all my fat seems to have migrated to my stomach.
My feet hurt if I don't treat them right. When shopping for shoes I pay more attention to comfort than fashion.
My neck creaks when I turn my head from side to side. I think it's arthritis.
I look before I leap, now. I'm more aware of slippery surfaces like hotel bathroom floors and I think more about where I'm going to put my feet. I think this (like a lot of the stuff above) is going to escalate as I get older.
Oh, and I can't sleep through the night without having to get up to urinate. I pay attention to not drinking too many fluids in the evening because of this, so I can have a glass of something with dinner or a cup of tea after but not both.
posted by hazyjane at 10:44 PM on February 6, 2016 [2 favorites]
63 year old female who can no longer wear cheap shoes. My toes are starting to bend in weird ways. Sometimes it is so painful I tape one to another to straighten them out. Tape works much better than buying all that toe gear on Amazon.
In my 40's I needed reading glasses. In my late 50's I no longer needed them because I developed cataracts. Surgery takes care of that but then you need reading glasses again. You can never have too may pairs of reading glasses.
The upside to the loss of close up vision is, I can no longer really see all of the changes when I look in the mirror. I am blessed with wrinkle free skin but the aging spots irritate me. At my last dermatologist appointment I asked if I could have a total body dip to have all the crusty spots melted off. They haven't invented that option yet.
So between my feet, my skin, my aching wrists, and the constant need to know where a bathroom is, I feel pretty good.
posted by cairnoflore at 11:28 PM on February 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
In my 40's I needed reading glasses. In my late 50's I no longer needed them because I developed cataracts. Surgery takes care of that but then you need reading glasses again. You can never have too may pairs of reading glasses.
The upside to the loss of close up vision is, I can no longer really see all of the changes when I look in the mirror. I am blessed with wrinkle free skin but the aging spots irritate me. At my last dermatologist appointment I asked if I could have a total body dip to have all the crusty spots melted off. They haven't invented that option yet.
So between my feet, my skin, my aching wrists, and the constant need to know where a bathroom is, I feel pretty good.
posted by cairnoflore at 11:28 PM on February 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
The thing is, there's enormous variability in these experiences.
For the first couple of decades, you might feel mostly in step with a cohort or generation, but as time passes, especially if you're around people with a wide range of backgrounds and habits, you're likely to see increasing discrepancies in age-related changes. Things happen to different people in very different orders at very different times. People who say things like "In your 40s, you..." and so on are universalizing their own situations. YM will almost certainly V a great deal.
posted by tangerine at 12:31 AM on February 7, 2016 [6 favorites]
For the first couple of decades, you might feel mostly in step with a cohort or generation, but as time passes, especially if you're around people with a wide range of backgrounds and habits, you're likely to see increasing discrepancies in age-related changes. Things happen to different people in very different orders at very different times. People who say things like "In your 40s, you..." and so on are universalizing their own situations. YM will almost certainly V a great deal.
posted by tangerine at 12:31 AM on February 7, 2016 [6 favorites]
Agreed about the enormous variability. The people I work with are almost all aged 57-60 for various reasons and one thing I've noticed makes a big difference is whether or not they get regular exercise. That seems to be about the age when a sedentary lifestyle really catches up with you and my colleagues who do exercise act and look far younger with much more energy than those who don't. Working there inspired me to join a gym and start going regularly.
posted by hazyjane at 1:09 AM on February 7, 2016 [4 favorites]
posted by hazyjane at 1:09 AM on February 7, 2016 [4 favorites]
I'm glad a few people chimed in to say this stuff isn't universal, because a lot of this stuff doesn't apply to me. I feel like I'm aging fast and my health is just awful, but some of you folks worry me. Ask your doctor about these things!
There's a lot of stuff going on where I don't know if it's just getting older or my health problems. Like, my endurance is crap, and maybe that's because I have a host of exotic illnesses or maybe it's because I'm not 25 anymore. As you get older you can easily find yourself pre-diabetic without being significantly overweight, so get your A1Cs checked now and again. Exercise. Don't get out of shape. It's much less awful to stay in shape than it is to try and get in shape.
I find that as my looks go, I really struggle to get used to the changes. I keep thinking that lump or wrinkle is a temporary thing, like a zit. When you're young, stuff fixes itself. And people age at such different rates, it's bizarre. At my old job I'd meet patients my age or younger, who literally looked like my parents. People keep telling me I look much younger than I am, but I look in the mirror and I sure don't look like I did when I was young. At this point I think I look like a younger person, but I look like an increasingly less-attractive younger person. Sometimes that's how aging goes, I guess. My parents do look their ages, and I know that any year now I'm gonna look my age fast. So, I got that to look forward to.
I am much kinder than I used to be and less prone to panic, which is good because life just keeps handing me bigger things to get pissed off and panicky about. I'm taking anti-depression meds and I'm sure those help, but also it's just that you see the same annoying and terrifying things enough and you figure out that this annoying person will go away and you had that terrifying thing before and it went away. But I am also much more cynical about my life, and the world. I guess I am quicker to assume that everything will turn to shit, but I am less likely to hate people unless they really deserve it. I don't enjoy snark the way I did, and I have little patience for schadenfreude. I want people to be nice. A lot of people seem mean, and I hate that but I also feel sorry for them, for whatever made them mean. I kind of feel sorry for everybody, including myself. We're a mess!
You're going to age the way you age. Stuff will hurt, and you'll get sick, and you won't enjoy looking in the mirror as much. If you really want an advance warning for stuff that can go wrong, watch your family. You're much more likely to get their hurts and sicknesses and saggy parts than you are to get mine. (But even there, you won't know for sure until it happens.)
If there's stuff you want to do, and it would be hard to do when you're older or sicker, do those things now. You can't really enjoy being young, it's just what you are. But you can sure regret not doing things, when you're older. So do things, while you can.
posted by Ursula Hitler at 2:48 AM on February 7, 2016 [6 favorites]
There's a lot of stuff going on where I don't know if it's just getting older or my health problems. Like, my endurance is crap, and maybe that's because I have a host of exotic illnesses or maybe it's because I'm not 25 anymore. As you get older you can easily find yourself pre-diabetic without being significantly overweight, so get your A1Cs checked now and again. Exercise. Don't get out of shape. It's much less awful to stay in shape than it is to try and get in shape.
I find that as my looks go, I really struggle to get used to the changes. I keep thinking that lump or wrinkle is a temporary thing, like a zit. When you're young, stuff fixes itself. And people age at such different rates, it's bizarre. At my old job I'd meet patients my age or younger, who literally looked like my parents. People keep telling me I look much younger than I am, but I look in the mirror and I sure don't look like I did when I was young. At this point I think I look like a younger person, but I look like an increasingly less-attractive younger person. Sometimes that's how aging goes, I guess. My parents do look their ages, and I know that any year now I'm gonna look my age fast. So, I got that to look forward to.
I am much kinder than I used to be and less prone to panic, which is good because life just keeps handing me bigger things to get pissed off and panicky about. I'm taking anti-depression meds and I'm sure those help, but also it's just that you see the same annoying and terrifying things enough and you figure out that this annoying person will go away and you had that terrifying thing before and it went away. But I am also much more cynical about my life, and the world. I guess I am quicker to assume that everything will turn to shit, but I am less likely to hate people unless they really deserve it. I don't enjoy snark the way I did, and I have little patience for schadenfreude. I want people to be nice. A lot of people seem mean, and I hate that but I also feel sorry for them, for whatever made them mean. I kind of feel sorry for everybody, including myself. We're a mess!
You're going to age the way you age. Stuff will hurt, and you'll get sick, and you won't enjoy looking in the mirror as much. If you really want an advance warning for stuff that can go wrong, watch your family. You're much more likely to get their hurts and sicknesses and saggy parts than you are to get mine. (But even there, you won't know for sure until it happens.)
If there's stuff you want to do, and it would be hard to do when you're older or sicker, do those things now. You can't really enjoy being young, it's just what you are. But you can sure regret not doing things, when you're older. So do things, while you can.
posted by Ursula Hitler at 2:48 AM on February 7, 2016 [6 favorites]
I reread the OP, and I now see that I didn't do a great job of answering their specific questions. But this is all stuff I'd sure like to go back and tell myself, so hopefully it'll help somebody someplace.
posted by Ursula Hitler at 2:53 AM on February 7, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by Ursula Hitler at 2:53 AM on February 7, 2016 [3 favorites]
52 year old woman, active runner, really healthy eater, don't smoke. Here's some stuff that happened and I've taken pretty good care of myself:
* teeth and gums all kind of fell apart, requiring an implant, multiple crowns and gum surgery;
* my neck started creaking;
* my ability to hold liquor dropped where I can go from 1.5 glasses of wine to blackout drunk within minutes;
* when I was done with peri-menopause I gained 10 pounds that I cannot get rid of and that's after cutting calories to not gain more weight;
* My short-term memory has gotten worse and I now forget more things so I developed a new set of strategies. I now always take a picture of where I parked my car because I can't ever remember;
* eyebrows and eyelashes are thinning out;
and the BEST advice I got from a sports medicine doctor:
Treat your body as though you ALREADY HAVE a back injury. Use your knees when lifting and bending. Don't throw yourself in the car; instead sit and swing your legs in carefully; avoid sudden movements when getting up and most importantly--- this the time to focus on building and keeping muscle and increasing both core strength and balance.
posted by yes I said yes I will Yes at 5:03 AM on February 7, 2016 [4 favorites]
* teeth and gums all kind of fell apart, requiring an implant, multiple crowns and gum surgery;
* my neck started creaking;
* my ability to hold liquor dropped where I can go from 1.5 glasses of wine to blackout drunk within minutes;
* when I was done with peri-menopause I gained 10 pounds that I cannot get rid of and that's after cutting calories to not gain more weight;
* My short-term memory has gotten worse and I now forget more things so I developed a new set of strategies. I now always take a picture of where I parked my car because I can't ever remember;
* eyebrows and eyelashes are thinning out;
and the BEST advice I got from a sports medicine doctor:
Treat your body as though you ALREADY HAVE a back injury. Use your knees when lifting and bending. Don't throw yourself in the car; instead sit and swing your legs in carefully; avoid sudden movements when getting up and most importantly--- this the time to focus on building and keeping muscle and increasing both core strength and balance.
posted by yes I said yes I will Yes at 5:03 AM on February 7, 2016 [4 favorites]
I'm 53, and here are some fun things.
My vision sucks! I've never had good vision, but it used to be that I could get up, make coffee and get my day going without putting on my glasses, those days are over. My glasses typically cost about $500 (with the clunky cheap frames my vision insurance covers) that is the fun of progressive bifocals.
Another fun aspect is that I can't put my makeup on without using 15X magnifying mirrors.
A really AWESOME development in my vision was the discovery of Narrow Angle Glaucoma. It could only be diagnosed by my optometrist and I had to have Laser Iridotomy to correct it. This is absolutely miraculous, seriously, it was such a non-event compared to a couple of decades ago, but I was only a couple of degrees (angle-wise) from going blind! Good times.
I had a prophylactic hysterectomy (ovarian cancer runs in my family) 12 years ago and that's GREAT! I don't miss periods. At. All. I'm doing a compounded Hormone Replacement Therapy and it's the bomb-diggety! I hear all my friends complain about hot flashes, and all sorts of things related to menopause and I can't relate. I will say that the Testosterone is necessary because you do tend to drag ass. I don't have half the energy I used to have.
As you get older, you tend to ache. Sometimes when it rains, sometimes just because. That's kind of a drag.
I have a ton of silver-white hair on the top of my head. It doesn't hold color. So about two months ago I bleached it and went platinum. I'm kind of rocking that look. When I was younger my hair was very greasy and fine and stick straight. So I shampooed it every day and tried to blow some volume into it. It was okay. NOW, it's beautifully wavy and full and thicker. I only shampoo every other day now. I absolutely LOVE my hair. What a nice surprise.
I'm blessed with Eastern European skin, so I don't have many wrinkles. My eyelids are a bit crepey, so I don't do over the top eye make up. I'm jealous of the younger folks who can do winged eye liner and 6 colors. Small price to pay I guess.
My skin has gone from oily to normal, again, not a development I'm sad about.
My Dad developed diabetes at around 50. He took very good care of himself and was 100% compliant on his meds. Last year his pancreas gave it up, so now he's on injectable insulin. He celebrated his 80th birthday last year. He walks with a cane because his balance went. I introduced him to MyFitnessPal, and now he's lost 40 pounds. I wish I could do that.
My Mom is nearly a cyborg. She's had both knees replaced, a hip replaced, back surgery and hand surgery. She too walks with a cane, but I'm very thankful that I have them both still.
Another fun thing is as you get older, you lose your filter. All those snarky things in your brain come rushing out of your mouth. If you're losing your hearing, you speak louder. This humiliates your adult children and they apologize for you as you totter out to the car.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 6:33 AM on February 7, 2016 [2 favorites]
My vision sucks! I've never had good vision, but it used to be that I could get up, make coffee and get my day going without putting on my glasses, those days are over. My glasses typically cost about $500 (with the clunky cheap frames my vision insurance covers) that is the fun of progressive bifocals.
Another fun aspect is that I can't put my makeup on without using 15X magnifying mirrors.
A really AWESOME development in my vision was the discovery of Narrow Angle Glaucoma. It could only be diagnosed by my optometrist and I had to have Laser Iridotomy to correct it. This is absolutely miraculous, seriously, it was such a non-event compared to a couple of decades ago, but I was only a couple of degrees (angle-wise) from going blind! Good times.
I had a prophylactic hysterectomy (ovarian cancer runs in my family) 12 years ago and that's GREAT! I don't miss periods. At. All. I'm doing a compounded Hormone Replacement Therapy and it's the bomb-diggety! I hear all my friends complain about hot flashes, and all sorts of things related to menopause and I can't relate. I will say that the Testosterone is necessary because you do tend to drag ass. I don't have half the energy I used to have.
As you get older, you tend to ache. Sometimes when it rains, sometimes just because. That's kind of a drag.
I have a ton of silver-white hair on the top of my head. It doesn't hold color. So about two months ago I bleached it and went platinum. I'm kind of rocking that look. When I was younger my hair was very greasy and fine and stick straight. So I shampooed it every day and tried to blow some volume into it. It was okay. NOW, it's beautifully wavy and full and thicker. I only shampoo every other day now. I absolutely LOVE my hair. What a nice surprise.
I'm blessed with Eastern European skin, so I don't have many wrinkles. My eyelids are a bit crepey, so I don't do over the top eye make up. I'm jealous of the younger folks who can do winged eye liner and 6 colors. Small price to pay I guess.
My skin has gone from oily to normal, again, not a development I'm sad about.
My Dad developed diabetes at around 50. He took very good care of himself and was 100% compliant on his meds. Last year his pancreas gave it up, so now he's on injectable insulin. He celebrated his 80th birthday last year. He walks with a cane because his balance went. I introduced him to MyFitnessPal, and now he's lost 40 pounds. I wish I could do that.
My Mom is nearly a cyborg. She's had both knees replaced, a hip replaced, back surgery and hand surgery. She too walks with a cane, but I'm very thankful that I have them both still.
Another fun thing is as you get older, you lose your filter. All those snarky things in your brain come rushing out of your mouth. If you're losing your hearing, you speak louder. This humiliates your adult children and they apologize for you as you totter out to the car.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 6:33 AM on February 7, 2016 [2 favorites]
I've had a steadily increasing list of foods I can't eat without discomfort of some kind or another since my late 20s, which has accelerated in my late 30s and early 40s. Bell peppers (confusingly, jalapenos are still fine), carrots, orange juice, dried fruit, pizza, alcohol of any kind, many but not all sodas, black coffee (with a little milk is still fine), oats in any form, an unidentified spice I run into a lot in soups and pastas (oregano?), black pepper, broccoli, etc. Most of them I still eat from time to time, just in smaller amounts and with more dread, but others are just gone and I miss them very much.
posted by Spathe Cadet at 7:23 AM on February 7, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by Spathe Cadet at 7:23 AM on February 7, 2016 [3 favorites]
I started need reading glasses promptly at 40. Most people lose the higher and lower frequencies as they age, esp. if they listened to loud music or worked in loud places. Wear hearing protection. Many people lose the ability to digest lactose as they age.
For women, menopause and the loss of estrogen makes a lot of changes. I started having trouble pulling words out of my vocabulary. I have to pluck coarse hairs from my chin and upper lip. My skin is more fragile. I have to pee more often.
I've been working on staying in shape. Improving muscle strength/ mass, cardiovascular capability, flexibility is possible but takes more work now. Giving up any capability means I may never get it back.
posted by theora55 at 7:45 AM on February 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
For women, menopause and the loss of estrogen makes a lot of changes. I started having trouble pulling words out of my vocabulary. I have to pluck coarse hairs from my chin and upper lip. My skin is more fragile. I have to pee more often.
I've been working on staying in shape. Improving muscle strength/ mass, cardiovascular capability, flexibility is possible but takes more work now. Giving up any capability means I may never get it back.
posted by theora55 at 7:45 AM on February 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
I'm 41 and have fallen a couple of times in the past few months (once tripped running for a bus, once slipped down the stairs) and found my body doesn't bounce back like it once did. Nothing serious enough to take to the doctor, but the bits of me that were very sore for the first few days after falling (left ankle and right foot, respectively) still twinge and ache two or three months later. This is the first time I've noticed this happening, and it's really annoying.
posted by penguin pie at 7:50 AM on February 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by penguin pie at 7:50 AM on February 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
Shortly after you turn 50, your body will start to betray you in ways you never thought possible. There is no way to prepare. Not that it could be explained to you in a way you could ever hope to understand. You can hear it. But it won't be real to you until it's real.
posted by 3.2.3 at 8:27 AM on February 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by 3.2.3 at 8:27 AM on February 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
Way, way harder to drop excess bodyfat at 50+ than at 30.
posted by flabdablet at 10:06 AM on February 7, 2016 [5 favorites]
posted by flabdablet at 10:06 AM on February 7, 2016 [5 favorites]
As you say, just anecdata; so the things that strike me in my mid-forties, just so you're less surprised than I was:
Nails get a lot tougher, so you'll need appropriately strong clippers, or a professional to hand... and get ready for the clippings to go flying across the room ;)
Tiredness, expect naps to be a good idea, and to require more sleep just to get by.
Mid-forties onwards is meant to be the worst age for happiness in general, apparently a combination of caring for older children and aging parents, with career pressures on top - and it's the age when a lot of people "take stock" and have hit a plateau or have other "I thought I'd be an astronaut or retired or a retired astronaut by now" type feelings; a good thing to be aware of so you're not surprised, rather than wondering why when nothing's changed you feel less happy.
Cherry angiomas ( also known as Campbell De Morgan spots or Senile angiomas ) which appear to be harmless.
As above, more funerals than weddings; which applies to both friends and celebrities. In the widest sense people who've been part of your life will pass, you'll watch familiar media and pop over to IMDB to check if the actor you grew up with is still alive, or you'll re-watch or re-read familiar stories that looks into the far and weird future... and that was five years ago.
Overall though... it's fun. The world makes more sense, people make more sense, and you are slowly time travelling into the future - those "I wonder what that person will do?" ... "I wonder who they'll end up with?" ... "I wonder how that situation will work out?" questions will be answered.
posted by DancingYear at 1:34 PM on February 7, 2016 [2 favorites]
Nails get a lot tougher, so you'll need appropriately strong clippers, or a professional to hand... and get ready for the clippings to go flying across the room ;)
Tiredness, expect naps to be a good idea, and to require more sleep just to get by.
Mid-forties onwards is meant to be the worst age for happiness in general, apparently a combination of caring for older children and aging parents, with career pressures on top - and it's the age when a lot of people "take stock" and have hit a plateau or have other "I thought I'd be an astronaut or retired or a retired astronaut by now" type feelings; a good thing to be aware of so you're not surprised, rather than wondering why when nothing's changed you feel less happy.
Cherry angiomas ( also known as Campbell De Morgan spots or Senile angiomas ) which appear to be harmless.
As above, more funerals than weddings; which applies to both friends and celebrities. In the widest sense people who've been part of your life will pass, you'll watch familiar media and pop over to IMDB to check if the actor you grew up with is still alive, or you'll re-watch or re-read familiar stories that looks into the far and weird future... and that was five years ago.
Overall though... it's fun. The world makes more sense, people make more sense, and you are slowly time travelling into the future - those "I wonder what that person will do?" ... "I wonder who they'll end up with?" ... "I wonder how that situation will work out?" questions will be answered.
posted by DancingYear at 1:34 PM on February 7, 2016 [2 favorites]
A HUGE thank you for this Ask and for all of the answers - I'm at the start of my 40s and my mother and grandmother (and father and grandfather) died before I thought paying attention to any of this was relevant (in my late teens). The advice to "just look at your family members" is kind of terrifying, really, given that mine are... dead. I'm finding all of the answers strangely comforting - even the less-then-great stuff.
posted by VioletU at 3:13 PM on February 7, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by VioletU at 3:13 PM on February 7, 2016 [2 favorites]
I'm surprised this wasn't mentioned yet but then again not surprised at all since no one wants to talk about it: atrophic vaginitis.
Estrogen supports the lining of the vagina, among a myriad of other things, so post-menopausal women can suffer from atrophic vaginitis. This means the lining of the vagina (and vulva!) thins and becomes very delicate. This can result in painful sex, vulvar irritation, even tearing, etc. Lubrication will be very important because you will be making less of it naturally. Estrogen creams and hormone replacement therapy may help.
This also affects the urethra somehow and some women experience a dramatic postmenopausal increase in urinary tract infections despite all best efforts at cleanliness.
posted by bobobox at 3:35 PM on February 7, 2016 [3 favorites]
Estrogen supports the lining of the vagina, among a myriad of other things, so post-menopausal women can suffer from atrophic vaginitis. This means the lining of the vagina (and vulva!) thins and becomes very delicate. This can result in painful sex, vulvar irritation, even tearing, etc. Lubrication will be very important because you will be making less of it naturally. Estrogen creams and hormone replacement therapy may help.
This also affects the urethra somehow and some women experience a dramatic postmenopausal increase in urinary tract infections despite all best efforts at cleanliness.
posted by bobobox at 3:35 PM on February 7, 2016 [3 favorites]
To put this in perspective, I'm 38, I have a prosthetic leg, and all these things about being careful on wet floors, not jumping, etc., have always applied to me. So I (respectfully) say big deal to a lot of it. As you should, too, OP!
posted by 8603 at 4:56 PM on February 7, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by 8603 at 4:56 PM on February 7, 2016 [3 favorites]
I'm 48, and I had cataract surgery in my left eye last summer. But I still need reading glasses. Seconding cairnoflore that one can never have too many pairs, and adding that they can sometimes be procured at dollar stores. Even with the glasses, though, there are things I just can't read anymore. Also, stray hairs appear in places where they never used to, but because of my eyesight, I can barely see them. So that's fun.
My hearing has also worsened, and I sometimes have trouble hearing in very low registers. I thought that might happen, given how many bands I saw without putting in earplugs first, but hoped it would take a while longer.
Adding to the good times, my body doesn't seem to tolerate certain foods well anymore. I pay extra for soy or almond milk in my lattes these days, and it's worth it to avoid the consequences of not doing so--though I maintain that the first coffee chain to drop those extra charges is going to make bank.
On the other hand, I'm more willing to trust my instincts and articulate my needs than I was ten or twenty years ago. And I feel less of a need to impress people.
So, age has added some challenges, but has also taken away some of my capacity for fuck-giving.
posted by chicainthecity at 5:12 PM on February 7, 2016 [2 favorites]
My hearing has also worsened, and I sometimes have trouble hearing in very low registers. I thought that might happen, given how many bands I saw without putting in earplugs first, but hoped it would take a while longer.
Adding to the good times, my body doesn't seem to tolerate certain foods well anymore. I pay extra for soy or almond milk in my lattes these days, and it's worth it to avoid the consequences of not doing so--though I maintain that the first coffee chain to drop those extra charges is going to make bank.
On the other hand, I'm more willing to trust my instincts and articulate my needs than I was ten or twenty years ago. And I feel less of a need to impress people.
So, age has added some challenges, but has also taken away some of my capacity for fuck-giving.
posted by chicainthecity at 5:12 PM on February 7, 2016 [2 favorites]
I am a 49-year-old lady person, and I've definitely been lucky on the genetic front. I have only a few grey hairs, and my eyesight has gotten only slightly worse since hitting 40. My hearing has suffered, most likely from going to far too many heavy metal shows in my twenties. My left knee creaks, and I've pulled muscles that used to not give me any trouble, such as my QL when I was carrying a heavy box to my car the other day. That took the better part of a week to heal up.
My weight has gone up by about 5-10 pounds in the last 10 years, but I have gotten less strict. I eat what I like, but over the years I have trained myself to eat lots of vegetables and drink lots of water. I have a beer in the evening most nights, so I know that if I wanted to drop a few pounds, that is the first place to start. Really rich food will give me the slightest bit of indigestion, but my constitution still can tolerate a lot of abuse (such as spicy food).
To be sure, I spent a large portion of my adult years being very physically active, spending a lot of time in the gym and doing endurance sports outside. But I can tell I'm aging: it takes much longer to recover from hard workouts and I have given up the most intense exercise (bike racing). If I don't get a regular dose of exercise, whether it be a long hike, a run or a bike ride, my body complains and I get cranky.
Thankfully I currently have a job that has me moving around all day, and I have never felt better. I don't get the pain and aches from sitting in a chair all day. I work with a couple 20-something gals who can barely pick up a 10-pound box, and I have to bite my tongue not to lecture them about building muscle mass NOW so they aren't fragile middle-aged ladies.
posted by computech_apolloniajames at 8:24 PM on February 7, 2016 [2 favorites]
My weight has gone up by about 5-10 pounds in the last 10 years, but I have gotten less strict. I eat what I like, but over the years I have trained myself to eat lots of vegetables and drink lots of water. I have a beer in the evening most nights, so I know that if I wanted to drop a few pounds, that is the first place to start. Really rich food will give me the slightest bit of indigestion, but my constitution still can tolerate a lot of abuse (such as spicy food).
To be sure, I spent a large portion of my adult years being very physically active, spending a lot of time in the gym and doing endurance sports outside. But I can tell I'm aging: it takes much longer to recover from hard workouts and I have given up the most intense exercise (bike racing). If I don't get a regular dose of exercise, whether it be a long hike, a run or a bike ride, my body complains and I get cranky.
Thankfully I currently have a job that has me moving around all day, and I have never felt better. I don't get the pain and aches from sitting in a chair all day. I work with a couple 20-something gals who can barely pick up a 10-pound box, and I have to bite my tongue not to lecture them about building muscle mass NOW so they aren't fragile middle-aged ladies.
posted by computech_apolloniajames at 8:24 PM on February 7, 2016 [2 favorites]
Male aged 48. I seem to need less sleep as I've got older, though that may just be a side effect of doing a PhD in my late 30s/early 40s. Overall I think I've got kinder and a bit more contented, though that may be the anti-depressants, though i think I would have resisted taking them when I was younger. I look back at some of the stuff I used to get up to in my 20s and early 30s now with a mixture of horror and admiration. Can't really drink much beyond a couple of beers now - hangovers suck much more than they used to. Everything else seems to be holding up OK for the time being at least, and I feel better now than I did a few years ago, probably as a result of being a bit more active, losing 10 lbs and giving up smoking. Hair is going a bit weird - my grey seems to come through thick and wavy. What I like best of all is giving far less of a shit than I used to.
posted by Chairboy at 3:54 AM on February 8, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by Chairboy at 3:54 AM on February 8, 2016 [1 favorite]
Oh, and reading glasses from the age of 40, and a sudden worsening of eyesight/change of prescription in the last couple of years.
posted by Chairboy at 4:05 AM on February 8, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by Chairboy at 4:05 AM on February 8, 2016 [1 favorite]
I started having trouble pulling words out of my vocabulary.
Christ on a Stick, this. And its sinister reverse which is just like the exchange I had with my teen son last night whilst watching Superbowl ads:
Kid: Oh you just missed a preview for that spy movie!
Me: What spy movie?
Kid: The one with the that guy from Boston who's like James Bond but isn't...
Me: Who? What are you talking about?
Kid: You KNOW the one! It's a series and he runs around killing bad guys?
Me: (desperately searching memory banks): Rambo?
Kid: NO! You know the guy! He's from here! His mom was your graduate school advisor!
Me: Grad school? What???
Kid: Good Will Hunting!! The Martian!! You LOVE HIM!!
Me: Ben Affleck?
KID: NO!! HIS BEST FRIEND!! The Departed!!
ME: Mark Wahlberg?
Kid: NO!!! He does the water in Africa thing!!!
Me: (hopelessly lost) Bono?
Kid: (ready to kill me because I am coming up short remembering Matt Damon's name.) FORGET IT.
posted by yes I said yes I will Yes at 5:43 AM on February 8, 2016 [7 favorites]
Christ on a Stick, this. And its sinister reverse which is just like the exchange I had with my teen son last night whilst watching Superbowl ads:
Kid: Oh you just missed a preview for that spy movie!
Me: What spy movie?
Kid: The one with the that guy from Boston who's like James Bond but isn't...
Me: Who? What are you talking about?
Kid: You KNOW the one! It's a series and he runs around killing bad guys?
Me: (desperately searching memory banks): Rambo?
Kid: NO! You know the guy! He's from here! His mom was your graduate school advisor!
Me: Grad school? What???
Kid: Good Will Hunting!! The Martian!! You LOVE HIM!!
Me: Ben Affleck?
KID: NO!! HIS BEST FRIEND!! The Departed!!
ME: Mark Wahlberg?
Kid: NO!!! He does the water in Africa thing!!!
Me: (hopelessly lost) Bono?
Kid: (ready to kill me because I am coming up short remembering Matt Damon's name.) FORGET IT.
posted by yes I said yes I will Yes at 5:43 AM on February 8, 2016 [7 favorites]
I just remembered another one. You know how there are various side effects listed to all sorts of medications?
After 50, you will start to get those side effects.
And I can't believe nobody mentioned the whammy of getting your AARP membership card in the mail. Or taking your parents to look at senior housing and realizing you're only 4 years away from qualifying to live there yourself.
posted by yes I said yes I will Yes at 5:48 AM on February 8, 2016 [1 favorite]
After 50, you will start to get those side effects.
And I can't believe nobody mentioned the whammy of getting your AARP membership card in the mail. Or taking your parents to look at senior housing and realizing you're only 4 years away from qualifying to live there yourself.
posted by yes I said yes I will Yes at 5:48 AM on February 8, 2016 [1 favorite]
Cut yourself a little slack, YISYIWY. We all blank on stuff we totally know sometimes, and it sounds like your kid was having just as much trouble remembering Mr. Damon! (Although I have to say the Bono guess was pretty pitiful. Bono is definitely not the not-James Bond guy who was in Good Will Hunting and the Martian.)
posted by Ursula Hitler at 6:09 AM on February 8, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by Ursula Hitler at 6:09 AM on February 8, 2016 [1 favorite]
The inability to instantly summon a name or other bit of info arrived sometime after 40. It's frustrating. My workaround is to back off and proceed with the conversation or whatever. Then the name washes up on shore from my mental ocean.
posted by computech_apolloniajames at 10:54 AM on February 8, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by computech_apolloniajames at 10:54 AM on February 8, 2016 [2 favorites]
Also, in my early 50s, I noticed that scrape and bruises and such take longer to heal.
posted by maurreen at 6:28 PM on February 8, 2016
posted by maurreen at 6:28 PM on February 8, 2016
55 here. My biggest ageing gripes are stiff joints (especially hips and knees), acid reflux, and night sweats. But I LOVE my gray hair!
posted by pushing paper and bottoming chairs at 6:32 PM on February 8, 2016
posted by pushing paper and bottoming chairs at 6:32 PM on February 8, 2016
Cut yourself a little slack, YISYIWY. We all blank on stuff we totally know sometimes...
I've found that the older I get, instead of clues bringing me closer to an answer, the more clues I get, the further removed I get from the target because my brain goes WIDE, if that makes any sense.
Bono, indeed.
**Which now is hilariously reminding me how my grandma could only refer to me and my cousins by saying ALL of our names so used to call one of us in from playing stickball on the streets with, "Karen..Jan..Fran..Ken...Amy...Angela...Linda...Joanie!!!! Get in here!"
posted by yes I said yes I will Yes at 2:36 AM on February 9, 2016 [2 favorites]
I've found that the older I get, instead of clues bringing me closer to an answer, the more clues I get, the further removed I get from the target because my brain goes WIDE, if that makes any sense.
Bono, indeed.
**Which now is hilariously reminding me how my grandma could only refer to me and my cousins by saying ALL of our names so used to call one of us in from playing stickball on the streets with, "Karen..Jan..Fran..Ken...Amy...Angela...Linda...Joanie!!!! Get in here!"
posted by yes I said yes I will Yes at 2:36 AM on February 9, 2016 [2 favorites]
Late 40s woman here. Lots of things already mentioned -- stiff joints, gray hair (I like mine too!), sagging skin. Pudge gravitating toward my middle and upper arms and back (WTF back fat?!). No weight gain so far, just shifting around. Also, interminable hot flashes robbing me of sleep and the ability to wear makeup (2 years so far). My mother still has them and she just turned 70.
One that I don't think was mentioned: posture. It was never my strongest suit, but now my postural imperfections seem to be getting locked in, and I can see how I will round and bend in old age. My slightly forward shoulder can still be forced into proper position, but not for long. Ditto the forward thrust of my head. When I glimpse myself in the mirror, I see the beginnings of middle-aged slump. (More specifically, the kind of middle-aged that has spent the last 30 years in a chair, with only a daily walk and intermittent commitment to the gym.)
posted by Frenchy67 at 5:00 AM on February 10, 2016 [1 favorite]
One that I don't think was mentioned: posture. It was never my strongest suit, but now my postural imperfections seem to be getting locked in, and I can see how I will round and bend in old age. My slightly forward shoulder can still be forced into proper position, but not for long. Ditto the forward thrust of my head. When I glimpse myself in the mirror, I see the beginnings of middle-aged slump. (More specifically, the kind of middle-aged that has spent the last 30 years in a chair, with only a daily walk and intermittent commitment to the gym.)
posted by Frenchy67 at 5:00 AM on February 10, 2016 [1 favorite]
You will start to notice casual ageism and will be more and more likely to call it out.
posted by Room 641-A at 8:54 AM on February 10, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by Room 641-A at 8:54 AM on February 10, 2016 [2 favorites]
Someone mentioned feet and I thought I'd add - now I know the reason old ladies wear sensible shoes.
A coworker in her late forties just told me about a visit to the foot doctor which reminded me of mine. Yes, going to the foot doctor is a thing. I remember bringing my grandma. My coworker worries that her future will not include cute shoes and I commiserated. A couple of years ago shoes I loved were now bothering me, so I went to the foot doctor. He showed me how my former high arches were now not so high which caused the metatarsals to spread. He made orthotics to help, but asked me to bring any shoes I particularly had problems with to my next appointment and he'd see about orthotics that would fit. I brought in my beautiful Paul Green boots and was told I could not expect to wear them or anything with a narrow fit. : (
Some heels are better now than flats, but I have to be careful about what I can wear for any period of time. My favorite boots are still on a shelf, I hate to get rid of them. They mock me.
posted by readery at 9:16 AM on February 10, 2016
A coworker in her late forties just told me about a visit to the foot doctor which reminded me of mine. Yes, going to the foot doctor is a thing. I remember bringing my grandma. My coworker worries that her future will not include cute shoes and I commiserated. A couple of years ago shoes I loved were now bothering me, so I went to the foot doctor. He showed me how my former high arches were now not so high which caused the metatarsals to spread. He made orthotics to help, but asked me to bring any shoes I particularly had problems with to my next appointment and he'd see about orthotics that would fit. I brought in my beautiful Paul Green boots and was told I could not expect to wear them or anything with a narrow fit. : (
Some heels are better now than flats, but I have to be careful about what I can wear for any period of time. My favorite boots are still on a shelf, I hate to get rid of them. They mock me.
posted by readery at 9:16 AM on February 10, 2016
I don't know if this happens to everyone, and I don't think it's a problem until your 70s or 80s even, but Uterine Prolapse is a thing I'm glad I know about before it happens.
posted by Room 641-A at 4:25 AM on February 11, 2016
posted by Room 641-A at 4:25 AM on February 11, 2016
I'm a 65 year old woman.
I started surfing (bodyboarding) when I was 48 - and I got pretty good ... surfed Waikiki, Laniakea, Haleiwa and Diamond Head ... got a few big waves I still brag about. (I HIGHLY recommend surfing through menopause. You can pee anytime you want, and no one will ask why your eyes are red ... oh yeah, and way out there in the water is the best place to have hot flashes!).
I lost 60 pounds when I was 55 and spent two weeks in Nicaragua with a medical mission.
I spent my 60th birthday in Turkey where I was living after backpacking (solo) across Europe. Hitchhiked on a tractor, slept in hostels, danced, drank and had a wild fling at some hot springs.
I spent my 61st birthday marching and protesting in the rain with Occupy Seattle (the kids showed me how to wear bread bags over my socks).
I have a 75 year old friend who just ordered a new pair of toe shoes (red!); we are going to do barre exercises together (though, I don't do toe).
I'm not saying that I have been healthy all this time - I've had my share of challenges. I'm saying I've loved aging because of the biggest change in me ... I no longer ask for permission or forgiveness - from myself or anyone else. I no longer fret or worry. I just take my time; eat, sleep, work, play whenever I want; feel free to change my mind or plans anytime; make no promises to anyone ... and ... I swear a lot.
posted by Surfurrus at 12:29 AM on February 12, 2016 [9 favorites]
I started surfing (bodyboarding) when I was 48 - and I got pretty good ... surfed Waikiki, Laniakea, Haleiwa and Diamond Head ... got a few big waves I still brag about. (I HIGHLY recommend surfing through menopause. You can pee anytime you want, and no one will ask why your eyes are red ... oh yeah, and way out there in the water is the best place to have hot flashes!).
I lost 60 pounds when I was 55 and spent two weeks in Nicaragua with a medical mission.
I spent my 60th birthday in Turkey where I was living after backpacking (solo) across Europe. Hitchhiked on a tractor, slept in hostels, danced, drank and had a wild fling at some hot springs.
I spent my 61st birthday marching and protesting in the rain with Occupy Seattle (the kids showed me how to wear bread bags over my socks).
I have a 75 year old friend who just ordered a new pair of toe shoes (red!); we are going to do barre exercises together (though, I don't do toe).
I'm not saying that I have been healthy all this time - I've had my share of challenges. I'm saying I've loved aging because of the biggest change in me ... I no longer ask for permission or forgiveness - from myself or anyone else. I no longer fret or worry. I just take my time; eat, sleep, work, play whenever I want; feel free to change my mind or plans anytime; make no promises to anyone ... and ... I swear a lot.
posted by Surfurrus at 12:29 AM on February 12, 2016 [9 favorites]
I've also stopped waiting around for an "activity buddy" before I just do stuff. I've been wanting to do our local polar bear swim for years but it turns out that not many people want to meet you at the beach on New Years Day to swim in the ocean. This year I went by myself and had an amazing time and met lots of nice, cold, people. I'm less willing to wait for life to come to me because, well, at least half of it is over.
At that swim I met an older woman, probably in her 70s and in better shape than me. She'd been doing it for 25 years. She was just so cool, and afterwards as we were exchanging goodbyes I said, "Oh, by the way my name is Room 641-A." She said, "Hi, I'm Sister Mary."
posted by Room 641-A at 8:15 AM on February 12, 2016 [4 favorites]
At that swim I met an older woman, probably in her 70s and in better shape than me. She'd been doing it for 25 years. She was just so cool, and afterwards as we were exchanging goodbyes I said, "Oh, by the way my name is Room 641-A." She said, "Hi, I'm Sister Mary."
posted by Room 641-A at 8:15 AM on February 12, 2016 [4 favorites]
Surfurrus and Room 641-A are very fortunate. Sorry to be a bringdown, but prepare for pain and sickness, disability and the possibility of dying a lot sooner than you expected. It's grim, but it's real. We're decaying as we speak, some of us faster than others. Definitely do stuff you want to do (and need to do) now.
posted by Ursula Hitler at 6:46 PM on February 12, 2016
posted by Ursula Hitler at 6:46 PM on February 12, 2016
Surfurrus and Room 641-A are very fortunate. Sorry to be a bringdown, but prepare for pain and sickness, disability and the possibility of dying a lot sooner than you expected.
Well, some assumptions have been made here, but I agree with the larger point that you should do what you can while you can. Time can really start to slip away if you don't pay attention, which makes seizing opportunities more and more important as you get older.
posted by Room 641-A at 7:33 AM on February 13, 2016 [2 favorites]
Well, some assumptions have been made here, but I agree with the larger point that you should do what you can while you can. Time can really start to slip away if you don't pay attention, which makes seizing opportunities more and more important as you get older.
posted by Room 641-A at 7:33 AM on February 13, 2016 [2 favorites]
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by ptm at 2:08 PM on February 6, 2016 [4 favorites]