i just want to sleep, cat

December 14, 2015 6:24 AM

I adopted my adorable and otherwise perfect adult cat about 6 months ago. She is a very vocal cat, and likes to meow about all kinds of stuff, which is generally pretty cute. However, she will not stop meowing at exactly 4:30 a.m.

It's always 4:30. She always has enough food and water. She has a scratching board and balls and all sorts of stuff to play with. She occasionally stops if I pick her up and pet her in bed but she starts up again when I drift off. And frequently she just runs around the room when I try to pick her up instead.

My work schedule is a bit insane recently and I'm already functioning on too little sleep. I really, really need that extra hour and a half. How do I get this cat to leave me alone?

Here is a picture of said cat to assist with brainstorming.

posted by a hat out of hell to Pets & Animals (25 answers total)

She is very adorable and perfect!

Were it me, I'd try some combination of

a) An additional snack before bed in case hunger is part of the thing she's doing. (I know, she has food - sometimes cats get weird about wanting only fresh food, not old food.)

b) Something to keep her entertained later in the evening after I go to bed - maybe she'd like one of those puzzle toys that she would have to bat around to get the treats out of

c) Trying to rig up some kind of electronic or laser toy on a timer in another room that would go off at, say, 4:15 and hopefully distract her from her desire to talk to me at 4:30.

I suspect someone who is not me would also try d) Shut the cat out of the bedroom, but personally I find bedtime cat snuggles to be worth early-morning cat wake-ups. YMMV.
posted by Stacey at 6:33 AM on December 14, 2015 [1 favorite]

I have the same problem (and also get up early, and have a toddler who sometimes sleeps in my bed, so TOTALLY UNDERSTAND your need for sleep), and while I haven't ever figured out a way to totally stop the 4:30 meowing, picking her up and bringing her into my bed usually stops it. It's like she gets insulted that I'm not paying attention to her or something. DO NOT feed her or get out toys at 4:30 or it'll never stop.
posted by Cygnet at 6:36 AM on December 14, 2015 [6 favorites]

Best answer: Exhaust this cat before bedtime with a feather on a stick or laser pointer.
posted by St. Peepsburg at 6:38 AM on December 14, 2015 [5 favorites]

I have this exact same problem, although earlier. We've come to an understanding that every single night when the meowing begins, my cat will get locked in the basement--where he has a bed, food, and a litter box.

Cats are pretty nocturnal, unfortunately. Drs Foster and Smith has other suggestions (no link since I'm on my phone): http://m.drsfostersmith.com/pic/article.cfm?aid=2245
posted by ImproviseOrDie at 6:41 AM on December 14, 2015

Oh and how could I forget? Get another cat! The answer to most cat problems is to adopt more cats.

Tongue not entirely in cheek....
posted by St. Peepsburg at 6:44 AM on December 14, 2015 [8 favorites]

My cat does this sometimes when I haven't been giving her enough time on the couch during the day. So if you can, maybe spend a little more time with her hanging out together? I have a really busy job too, and she always does this when I've been too busy to laze around for an hour on the couch.

I shut her out and turn on a fan so I can't hear her when she does this. I love her so much but I also need to be a functional human. Some days I can't give her a lap for an hour, and that is OK.
posted by sockermom at 6:49 AM on December 14, 2015 [1 favorite]

It's 5:45am for me, and I was lying awake thinking about composing a similar question just this morning, but I think the answer is that there's no good solution when you have a cat like this, beyond shutting them somewhere far away from you.

Regarding the suggestion of getting another cat: Until this past summer I had two cats, and having a feline buddy did not make a difference in her behavior.
posted by something something at 7:21 AM on December 14, 2015 [2 favorites]

We call that "have a treat and shut up time" in my house.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 7:23 AM on December 14, 2015 [1 favorite]

The answer is get a dog, preferably a big dog. Dog will sleep in bed with you and the Cat will not wake you up for fear of Dog. Problem, you will sleep less now because Dog has large scratchy paws and likes to kick...

Before I got a dog my solution was lots and lots of energy reducing games around 5, usually while I made dinner. My two cats have SO. Much. Energy. and need the extra time. I also invested in a couple robot animals which, despite being incredibly creepy, keep my cats engaged when I can't. Also, my cats love trying to get treats out of the bags they come in. They won't touch "treat dispensers" but give them a bag of salmon flavored Breathies and its game over.
posted by Marinara at 7:43 AM on December 14, 2015

Best answer: Keep a spray bottle next to the bed and use as needed (set the nozzle to stream so you can use it from across the room.) I agree that upping the cuddles and playtime during the day/evening is good if you think kitty is not getting enough of that, but if that doesn't work (as it didn't for us) the spray bottle should. We only had to use it a couple times before our cat got the picture (it doesn't hurt him but he does not like it!) He'll start back up every few months, but usually a loud shake of a water bottle is all we need to do for him to dart out of the bedroom and let us fall back asleep.
posted by lovableiago at 7:47 AM on December 14, 2015 [6 favorites]

Exhaust this cat before bedtime with a feather on a stick or laser pointer.

I used to do this with my current cat and it seemed to work. Now that he's more settled in, he still gets up and romps around in the middle of the night, but he does it without meowing so I generally can sleep through it.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 7:55 AM on December 14, 2015

She occasionally stops if I pick her up and pet her in bed but she starts up again when I drift off. And frequently she just runs around the room when I try to pick her up instead.

I would absolutely stop giving her any attention when she does this. Even if she jumps on the bed, just ignore her. The only attention she gets is if you decide to lock her out of your room when she wakes you up (which you can totally do, but be prepared for her to try to tear down your door).

Second, what's your morning routine like? Do you give her food first thing when you get up? If you do, then you should change that routine. I would wait at least a half hour after you get up to feed her. This is so that she doesn't automatically associate "Human waking up" with getting fed, which might make her less inclined to try to wake you up herself.

But ultimately, I think your best bet is just to ignore her. It might take a long time, but eventually she should finally give up. If you are going to try this, just make sure that you commit to it, so that you don't fall into the trap of intermittent reinforcement.

Lastly, I'll nth the above suggestions to spend more time tiring her out during the day.
posted by litera scripta manet at 8:11 AM on December 14, 2015 [4 favorites]

I wrestle with this. For awhile the cats were locked out of the bedroom (as it is my Malcolm who likes to wake people up by walking on them and head-butting.) Eartha is our Chatty-Cathy, she will start meowing like a fool about 15 minutes prior to wake-up time. She pushes it sometimes, but if you're resolute, and can hold your pee, she'll give it up after a few minutes.

Try playing with the kitty at bedtime, try a Kong or treat dispenser that might keep her quiet and occupied for another hour or so, but the actual answer is learn to live with it.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 8:41 AM on December 14, 2015 [1 favorite]

I used to do this with my current cat and it seemed to work. Now that he's more settled in, he still gets up and romps around in the middle of the night, but he does it without meowing so I generally can sleep through it.

Forgot to include a visual aid.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 10:22 AM on December 14, 2015 [2 favorites]

I totally read your user name as a cat out of hell.

One of mine wakes me at 3:30am. I now get out of bed and go to the bathroom, then get back into bed and go back to sleep. They leave me alone after that, I think it confuses them and they have a vague idea that what happened wasn't quite what they intended but hoomins are weird, so...

When I really, really want a sleep in I will keep a plastic container of crunchies next to my bed and open/fling it at them when woken at stupid o'clock. They find it super crazy puzzling but: crunchies so they roll with it but find it too odd to ask for it as a regular thing.

I am writing this peering under the legs of cat who is walking on me so cannot assure 100% effectiveness.
posted by kitten magic at 10:58 AM on December 14, 2015 [2 favorites]

Take a can of compressed air to bed (or put it on your nightstand). A quick puff of air (it must sound like a snake to cats) was enough to get my cat to stop crying at 5:00 AM (he had plenty of food and water, so this was a "I am bored" complaint on his part). A few nights with a quick puff was enough to discourage him from attempting the early wake up call.
posted by longdaysjourney at 11:02 AM on December 14, 2015 [1 favorite]

First things first: Your cat is adorable!

We have the Four AM Fuckabout in our place, too, but because there are a total of three cats, they fuckabout with each other and not me. I always think that having multiple cats is a great idea. They love each other and wear each other out and comfort and play with each other.
posted by janey47 at 11:20 AM on December 14, 2015 [1 favorite]

It may just take time. I have two cats and one of them is a lazybutt who will sleep all day but the other one gets bored easily and has very firm ideas about when I should be sleeping and when I can be up. To make matters worse, lazybutt likes to sleep when I sleep so he's not even awake to keep the more energetic cat entertained.

The more energetic cat has basically relented to allow me to sleep through the night but there was a period where every early morning (right around 4 or 5 am) he would start pawing at the shades to tell me it was wake-up time. I, thus, went through a period where I slept with a water gun by my bed to shoot him with.
posted by bgal81 at 11:26 AM on December 14, 2015 [1 favorite]

ahahaha I was so not surprised to see that your furry alarm clock is a black-and-white ladycat. My BWLC Harvey Charlene Dent (WARRIOR PRINCESS) is my morning meower (well really, any time you don't particularly want her meowing meower). She's done it all her life - I first met her at ~5 months and she's 7 years old now. She just likes to talk. I generally get dawn activity that involves meowing, purring, and headbutting (and lots of kneading with the WICKED TALONS she calls claws). These days I get extra because she wants breakfast, but I got it even when my cats (required pic of her brother, Loki Tiberius Cat) were free-fed kibbles and could eat whenever they liked. I think she mostly just wants attention, as she tends to want active cuddling/petting/hugs that time of day too.

I'm not sure what to suggest, since yours doesn't stay cuddled once grabbed and isn't looking for breakfast, but I do agree that tiring her out the night before might help. Mainly I came to talk about figuring out what's triggering the meowing, since it's a consistent time. SO: try to figure out what's happening at 4:30 AM.

Ideas:
- Do you wake up (even briefly) then? Like, it's the top of a sleep cycle and you come up to very light sleep and roll over or some such then? It took a long time of eyes-scrunched-closed-blanket-over-head SLEEPING NOW to teach my two that it wasn't a *real* wakeup where they could ask for awake-time attention. (Passive, cuddle under Mom's arm and we all sleep, sure.)
- Is there some noise? Does a furnace, dishwasher, water softener, etc, kick on (or off) then? Do you have a neighbor who gets up early, or comes in late? Do you have any large trees or other bird congregation points nearby, where the birds might be gathering and conversing? Certain times of year, we get birds that chatter a lot before dawn (and sometimes as early as 4:30, in the heart of the summer, because I'm probably further north than you?), and MAMA WAKE UP THERE ARE BIRDS I NEED THEM OPEN THE WINDOW
If you can find the time-trigger, that gives you a new set of options, like white noise so she doesn't hear the sounds that are setting her off, clear not-awake-now signals, and so on.

Is she coming and meowing at you, or is she wandering around doing things and just meowing as she does them? This makes a big difference in how you might try to stop her. Meowing at you = figuring out what she wants and giving it to her at a better time, meowing in general = more of either blocking it out or giving her a reason to stop either positive (something more interesting) or negative (water squirt or annoying noise). If she is meowing in general, and usually sleeps most of the night until that point, could you hide toys/treats the night before that she can hunt for when she wakes up?

Wow, that was not so organized. Hopefully it helps?

(Oh, and Marinara is spot-on about treat dispensers vs the bags they came in - LokiCat loves treats in any form, but especially "maul the bag and get ALL the treats" form.)
posted by dust.wind.dude at 1:30 PM on December 14, 2015 [2 favorites]

She's the spitting image of my dear departed Elizabeth, so it's possible she might just be a damn fool.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 3:00 PM on December 14, 2015 [2 favorites]

Response by poster: Ok I don't want to threadsit but it is very important that all of you know that your cats are also perfect and adorable. Thank you for the suggestions, I have purchased some of the things and am excited to try them out and maybe sleep for 6 consecutive hours!
posted by a hat out of hell at 5:35 PM on December 14, 2015 [3 favorites]

Ooo the photo: adorable girl telling you she's so happy to have you!! My upstairs neighbors wake me up at 5am. I put on 3M Peltor Optime 98 Over-the-Head Earmuffs and go back to sleep.
posted by soakimbo at 6:22 PM on December 14, 2015

This video from Jackson Galaxy may help. I think his solution is: set meal times, play with & then feed cat before you go to bed, totally ignore them waking you up early.
posted by hgws at 8:02 PM on December 14, 2015

I face similar struggles. I feel your pain.

It can help to make sure they're entertained sufficiently during the day. Search YouTube for "videos for cats", or similar—most cats will watch videos of rodents and birds with rapt attention for 30 minutes or more. (Just make sure the TV is stable enough to withstand some forceful batting.) Shine a laser pointer around the room while you're reading / watching TV / whatever. etc.
posted by escape from the potato planet at 8:05 PM on December 14, 2015

I just wanted to say that I love that the picture of your cat is one of her fervently meowing.

I exhaust my more vocal cat before bed (keep him from napping after I get home from work with bringing out favourite toys every time I see he's about to take a snooze) which helps a lot.
posted by raw sugar at 10:43 AM on December 15, 2015