Examples of meaningful lives that don't follow traditional paths

November 1, 2015 12:41 PM

I'm looking for narratives & role models of people who have fulfilled lives in their 30s and 40s and beyond without children, partners, a good job, or lots of money (think <$15k/year).

A lot of stuff about people not having children or partners focusses on the upsides to careers or having lots of money to eg travel- but what if you'll never have those things? I'm not looking so much about how people have just learnt to enjoy each moment but how they've crafted a viable and meaningful life narrative. Stuff with a queer or creative focus would be particularly good

posted by ninjablob to Human Relations (11 answers total)

Sounds like you're describing a monk or an artist...they pursue some higher calling that often only they can see. They don't have conventional high-status things (children, income, travel, etc.) but they did well at whatever their calling was.
posted by sninctown at 1:07 PM on November 1, 2015 [2 favorites]

I'm not sure this is exactly what you're looking for, but I really loved Downwardly Mobile: For Conscience Sake, an odd and occasionally awkwardly-written little book about people who choose to live on very little money. Some of the people featured in the book do have partners & kids; others don't.
posted by attentionplease at 1:08 PM on November 1, 2015 [1 favorite]

I really liked this recent article in Harpers, which includes some good role models: Going It Alone.
posted by veery at 1:11 PM on November 1, 2015 [10 favorites]

I really enjoyed Emily Carr's memoir called Hundreds and Thousands, written in her 60's during the time when her paintings were gaining attention. She was single and had no children, and not much money. Besides painting, she spent lots of time on solo camping trips with her dogs and pet monkey, and wrote lots, spent time with her two sisters, and travelled. She was a fascinating woman.
posted by to recite so charmingly at 1:19 PM on November 1, 2015 [13 favorites]

Fred Beckey
He never married or had children, he never pursued a professional career, he never sought money or financial security as a goal—his goal was to climb mountains.
posted by lost_cause at 1:53 PM on November 1, 2015 [2 favorites]

I'm not sure if you are looking for anecdotes or more in-depth narratives, but I have a friend in his 60s who is a catholic monk. He joined an order that seems quite keen on the monks living in the world as "normal people", just using the energy that would otherwise be taken up with trying to earn money and look after a family on doing good instead. (And they seem to believe that contemplative time spent in nature is worthwhile for its own sake too.)

He lives in a house owned by the order, with a few other monks, although he can travel at will, and the order owns houses in most major cities, so he always has somewhere to stay.

I got to know him because he was doing a phd in my department. He had been working with Aboriginal people on language revitalisation, and he continues to do this, but decided he wanted to go more into academic depth, hence the phd.

He spends a lot of time hiking and in winter skiing or snowshoeing too (the cheap type, where you camp in the snow), sometimes for weeks on end. He is always happy to take other people and introduce them to camping and back country skills and the amazing beauty of the Australian landscape.

He is very generous with his time and his monetary allowance, which I guess that lifestyle allows you to be. He is also very politically active for the causes he believes in. He is one of the calmest, happiest, and most fulfilled people I know.
posted by lollusc at 5:02 PM on November 1, 2015 [11 favorites]

I just binge watched all the videos of Iohan Gueorguiev. He's cycling from the Arctic ocean in Alaska down to Argentina. He's been at it a couple years now and his videos are exciting, amazing, funny, and beautiful.

Definitely pushes my wanderer buttons!
posted by sarah_pdx at 10:24 PM on November 1, 2015 [3 favorites]

These fit most but not all of your criteria in different ways:

Sustainably creative
Moonlight Chronicles
Rowdy kittens
posted by jrobin276 at 12:47 AM on November 2, 2015

And The Hermitage

I'd definitely have a wander through the tiny house movement...
posted by jrobin276 at 12:49 AM on November 2, 2015

Every few months I watch this short documentary on two artists living a simple, creative life in rural Wales.
posted by thebots at 7:23 AM on November 2, 2015 [1 favorite]

Time to have a lot of books and a lot of people in your life, and cultivate your mind and body. These are things the wealthy, well traveled and professionally ambitious wish they had / regret sacrificing.
posted by ead at 4:04 PM on November 2, 2015 [3 favorites]