I need a fabulous gift for my future in-laws
October 12, 2015 5:10 AM Subscribe
During my upcoming trip to Japan, I will be staying with my boyfriend's parents. Please help me get them a gift that says "thank you for taking the trouble of having me, and I'm the perfect daughter-in-law."
I'm going back to Japan for a friend's wedding, and my boyfriend's parents have offered to let me stay with them. (Boyfriend is not coming with me.) He thinks it's fine because he stayed with my family (while I was there!) for quite a bit so far, and we also hosted his siblings on their Europe trip last month. His sister also thinks it's totally fine for me to stay there. I have met the parents only over Skype just now, but they seem nice and welcoming, and more worried about their son making my life harder (which he is not!) than me mooching off on them. I also speak Japanese, so communication is not a problem.
Nonetheless, I want to get them a great gift. Boyfriend says they like to drink black tea, so I thought of Kusmi tea in the decorative tins, but even that can be bought at Amazon Japan. His father also collected German wood figures once, but apparently stopped. They also seem to like chocolate, but simply buying them a big pack of Swiss chocolate seems a bit... uncreative.
Does anyone know a great gift for Japanese parents in their fifties that I can buy in Switzerland or in France (close to the Geneva border)?
I'm going back to Japan for a friend's wedding, and my boyfriend's parents have offered to let me stay with them. (Boyfriend is not coming with me.) He thinks it's fine because he stayed with my family (while I was there!) for quite a bit so far, and we also hosted his siblings on their Europe trip last month. His sister also thinks it's totally fine for me to stay there. I have met the parents only over Skype just now, but they seem nice and welcoming, and more worried about their son making my life harder (which he is not!) than me mooching off on them. I also speak Japanese, so communication is not a problem.
Nonetheless, I want to get them a great gift. Boyfriend says they like to drink black tea, so I thought of Kusmi tea in the decorative tins, but even that can be bought at Amazon Japan. His father also collected German wood figures once, but apparently stopped. They also seem to like chocolate, but simply buying them a big pack of Swiss chocolate seems a bit... uncreative.
Does anyone know a great gift for Japanese parents in their fifties that I can buy in Switzerland or in France (close to the Geneva border)?
Right now, while you're thinking about it, buy a nice card and pre-address and stamp the envelope and stick it in your carry on. That way you can write a nice thank you letter on your flight home and drop it in a mailbox as soon as you get off the plane. No chance of forgetting that way.
posted by phunniemee at 5:43 AM on October 12, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by phunniemee at 5:43 AM on October 12, 2015 [5 favorites]
I recommend premium quality foods wrapped up exquisitely (presentation is very important). Consider fresh / glace / dried fruits and nuts, regional cakes / biscuits / preserves, tins of pate, confit duck, cassoulet or foie gras, locally-made soaps, dried mushrooms, truffled anything, or a beautifully wrapped box of chocolates from Sprungli. A tasteful fridge magnet of your hometown / country is also always appreciated.
posted by travellingincognito at 6:39 AM on October 12, 2015 [7 favorites]
posted by travellingincognito at 6:39 AM on October 12, 2015 [7 favorites]
I always suggest sending flowers to be delivered the day before you arrive. You don't have to carry anything, they are always a beautiful addition to your hosts' home, and you can all enjoy them while you are there. Add the card and you're good to go.
(Although, I'm not sure how Japanese culture views this.)
posted by raisingsand at 8:47 AM on October 12, 2015
(Although, I'm not sure how Japanese culture views this.)
posted by raisingsand at 8:47 AM on October 12, 2015
Think of gifts that would be representative of the city/country you're coming from. I lived in Japan for a year, working in a laboratory full of Japanese university students, so I know they particularly like the idea of travel and things from far off countries. I would suggest taking a look around artisanal shops for high quality, useful, beautiful, locally-produced things.
Food gifts, particularly sweets, always go over exceptionally well as a default. So, locally made chocolates, a nice wine from the region, local delicacies like preserved meats, would all be great options.
Small useful trinkets locally sourced would also be appreciated, if you were interested in getting them more personal gifts. It's verging on winter so some locally made mittens would be a good option if they're anywhere north of Okinawa. I could see the parents enjoying telling their friends about where their lovely mittens came from.
As per Japanese custom, do plan on packaging the present(s) as prettily as possible. A beautiful dishtowel or scarf would be appreciated as a reusable wrapping. It is a nice touch to give them the present, wrapped of course, in the very bag from the store the item was purchased. Cards don't seem to be as prominent culturally, but it's a nice touch if you like giving them. An art card with local scenery painted/drawn by an artist would be a bonus gift if it is something they could display as art if they were so interested.
posted by lizbunny at 9:20 AM on October 12, 2015 [2 favorites]
Food gifts, particularly sweets, always go over exceptionally well as a default. So, locally made chocolates, a nice wine from the region, local delicacies like preserved meats, would all be great options.
Small useful trinkets locally sourced would also be appreciated, if you were interested in getting them more personal gifts. It's verging on winter so some locally made mittens would be a good option if they're anywhere north of Okinawa. I could see the parents enjoying telling their friends about where their lovely mittens came from.
As per Japanese custom, do plan on packaging the present(s) as prettily as possible. A beautiful dishtowel or scarf would be appreciated as a reusable wrapping. It is a nice touch to give them the present, wrapped of course, in the very bag from the store the item was purchased. Cards don't seem to be as prominent culturally, but it's a nice touch if you like giving them. An art card with local scenery painted/drawn by an artist would be a bonus gift if it is something they could display as art if they were so interested.
posted by lizbunny at 9:20 AM on October 12, 2015 [2 favorites]
Response by poster: Hey, folks, thanks for all the answers so far! I'm sorry I didn't make myself clear enough: what I'm looking for is less "help! what gifts do Japanese people appreciate!" (I've lived in Japan myself), but "what specific gift purchasable Switzerland or France (I can't go home to Germany before I leave) should I get my future in-laws?"
Chocolate is a must and I've already bought some, also French black tea because I'm sure they'll like it, but I'm looking for something else as well. Is there a great Swiss or French thing I am missing? Mittens seem a bit personal and I don't know their sizes. Knifes are out as Japan has great knifes. I'd rather not do foie gras because I'm super opposed to the idea, and anything food or drink has the risk of them asking me to enjoy it with them or ask if I like it, but they also know I'm a vegetarian who doesn't drink alcohol... So I'm looking for something I haven't thought of yet that is a safe choice. So far I'm thinking maybe a nice French pharmacy hand cream for the mother, but I'm blanking on the father, and ideally I'd get boyfriend's sister and brother a small something as well although it's not really necessary.
posted by LoonyLovegood at 10:08 AM on October 12, 2015
Chocolate is a must and I've already bought some, also French black tea because I'm sure they'll like it, but I'm looking for something else as well. Is there a great Swiss or French thing I am missing? Mittens seem a bit personal and I don't know their sizes. Knifes are out as Japan has great knifes. I'd rather not do foie gras because I'm super opposed to the idea, and anything food or drink has the risk of them asking me to enjoy it with them or ask if I like it, but they also know I'm a vegetarian who doesn't drink alcohol... So I'm looking for something I haven't thought of yet that is a safe choice. So far I'm thinking maybe a nice French pharmacy hand cream for the mother, but I'm blanking on the father, and ideally I'd get boyfriend's sister and brother a small something as well although it's not really necessary.
posted by LoonyLovegood at 10:08 AM on October 12, 2015
I think a nicely packed assortment of things is a really good option. NB I have found that Japanese people are generally more familiar with the Swiss Alps than the French (massive efforts from the Swiss Tourist Board). You can get nice tins with vintage mountain prints on them to pack everything in. If budget permits, something by Mont Blanc? The pens are way expensive but they also do some small stuff.
Where exactly are you, and how long do you have? I know the area pretty well and might be able to point you to some shops.
posted by tardigrade at 10:32 AM on October 12, 2015
Where exactly are you, and how long do you have? I know the area pretty well and might be able to point you to some shops.
posted by tardigrade at 10:32 AM on October 12, 2015
Okay, this may be more an individual/corporate gift versus a family gift, but I was given a pen from Caran D'Ache from someone from Geneva and I really love it (I am American). Maybe they have something that could be appropriate for your situation.
posted by ainsley at 10:40 AM on October 12, 2015
posted by ainsley at 10:40 AM on October 12, 2015
Response by poster: Thank you! I can buy both in Geneva and in Berne, but only have less than two weeks before departure. Mont Blanc is a bit expensive and the parents would probably reject such a pricey gift. Plus Japan has awesome pens - I know Japanese people love Mont Blanc (I often had to go shopping with friends who visited me), but it's not quite the right gift yet.
posted by LoonyLovegood at 11:05 AM on October 12, 2015
posted by LoonyLovegood at 11:05 AM on October 12, 2015
Special regional honey. Another is regional fruit preserves, of unusual, for Japan, flavors. The items are truly unique to place and provide a wonderful narrative plus a certain aesthetic beauty, if chosen well.
posted by jadepearl at 8:20 PM on October 12, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by jadepearl at 8:20 PM on October 12, 2015 [2 favorites]
jadepearl has it. I have been gifted strange-to-me local honeys and jams before by out of town visitors and can't second that suggestion heartily enough.
posted by phunniemee at 4:57 AM on October 13, 2015
posted by phunniemee at 4:57 AM on October 13, 2015
Fabulous handmade Swiss cow bell http://www.glockengiesserei-gusset.ch/home/ - a cute way for them to ring 2016 in :)
posted by travellingincognito at 5:14 AM on October 13, 2015
posted by travellingincognito at 5:14 AM on October 13, 2015
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Do they drink wine? Eiswein/Ice Wine is really expensive here in Japan from what I've seen, and a pretty decadent treat. Wine and chocolate would make a nice gift. The wine should be fine in your checked luggage if it's well cushioned. (Though I'd still wrap it in plastic just in case)
posted by Caravantea at 5:23 AM on October 12, 2015 [4 favorites]