How to calm the kitties?

August 26, 2015 7:14 PM

My cats don't get along. What are good, proven ways to calm them down?

The aggressor has probable liver cancer and my vet is reluctant to put her on behavioral modifying medications. I am interested in specific products such as Anxitane or Zylkene. I have also heard good things about Rescue Remedy (but I am very apprehensive about that as it is homeopathic).

I have tried the treats for anxiety relief available at the pet store but they didn't seem to help much, but it looks like they are just super low doses of what is in Anxitane and Zylkene. I have tried Feliway and I think it helps some. I have also tried a pheromone collar.

I think my next step will be boarding them together as I saw mentioned in another AskMe thread.

So does anyone know anything about any of the specific products I mentioned, concerning their efficacy? Anecdotes are welcome but I prefer data, even if it is just from the manufacturer.

Or does anyone know of a behavioral modifying drug my vet would approve my cancer kitty having? (and we also recently discovered a bladder stone!). She is just super mean to my other cat, and honestly I had given up on them getting along as twice she has lunged for him and bit me. But we also just figured out the cancer is a bit less aggressive than we thought so she will be around for a bit longer. I actually adopted her when we found out she had cancer as the animal shelter was going to put her down. She still has a good quality of life though and is super sweet to humans. The cat she hates goes outside in the daytime, and she gets the room to herself, but at night I have to crate her. So that is why I want them to get along, as I do feel bad for sticking her in a box!

Other things I have yet to try but haven't yet include putting vanilla on their noses and rubbing them with the same towel.

I have tried treats when they are out together (she eats the treats, then goes for the other cat). I have tried putting her on a harness for introductions. I have tried putting them both on a harness. I have tried giving them a big space to work it out. The (bad, multiple chomps each time) bites I received prove she is not messing around so that is not an option.

Another complication is that she is unspayed so it might be hormonal. However I am not going to get her spayed until/unless we get rid of the cancer. The other cat is a neutered male.

Other suggestions than products are also welcome.

Thanks! I can post pics later.

posted by tweedle to Pets & Animals (8 answers total)

Feliway is the usual suggestion in these threads. It's a hormonal product that comes in a spray or a diffuser. People say it works wonders.
posted by irisclara at 7:28 PM on August 26, 2015 [2 favorites]

Feliway and Rescue Remedy helped my cats acclimate after they all got back from the vet. Mama cat attempted to kill each of her kittens because she could no longer recognize their scent. Rescue Remedy was the only thing that helped her go back to normal.
posted by Hermione Granger at 7:32 PM on August 26, 2015

When you say you've tried Feliway, does that mean you used the plug-in 24/7 version? Or the spray version? We used the plug-in, with the appropriate amount for the square footage of our home (2 at a time) x three months. At the beginning of that period, we had cats who were on the verge of straight-up killing each other. At the end of that period, we had cats who snuggle up in a ball and sleep together. We discontinued the Feliway, and the good behavior remained. In the ensuing 4+ years we had a single episode of back-sliding, when we had some high-stress activity (construction) going on in the household. Once that ended everything was chill again.
posted by BlahLaLa at 8:04 PM on August 26, 2015

feliway is the go to solution for this. rescue remedy and other homeopathic "medicines" only work on helping you believe they are less stressed, as animals are not susceptible to placebo/fake treatment. but it is of course possible that if you are feeling less worried about them, then they may pick up on this and be less stressed themselves.
posted by poffin boffin at 8:15 PM on August 26, 2015

This is getting a little redundant (considering all of the other answers) but Feliway. We have two cats that got freaked out by a mouse in the apartment (they're not very good at being cats). After I removed the mouse they would seriously try to attack each other. Hissing, fur standing up and swiping at each other. We got a Feliway plug-in diffuser and after a little while they were fine. This was several years ago and now they get along just fine.
posted by AnPEdward at 2:33 AM on August 27, 2015

Serious answer: watch a bunch of My Cat from Hell. We have inter-cat drama and Jackson Galaxy consistently gives solid advice, except when he's trying to hawk his mojo drops or whatever they are.

Make absolutely sure both your cats have plenty of room to hang out by themselves and plenty of individual attention/activity throughout the day. Cat squabbles are often about territorial disputes, so in order for them to feel comfortable together they need to feel secure about having their own space. If one of the cats is a climber, putting in cat-friendly shelves can help make them feel a little more in control of their domain; if one of the cats likes hiding, make sure they have plenty of good nooks and caves for it, etc. It is absolutely okay to keep them in separate rooms for a while if that's what makes the cats more comfortable.

Since the aggressor cat is both seriously ill and unspayed, your options might be limited; hormones and physical discomfort both contribute to acting out.
posted by Metroid Baby at 3:53 AM on August 27, 2015 [2 favorites]

When my wife moved in with her cat into my house that already had 2 cats in it, the new one had to live in the basement. it took several months for them to acclimate to each other to the point where they could all be together.
posted by ArgentCorvid at 6:55 AM on August 27, 2015

Make them eat from the same, small dish. One of my cats almost died this spring from some neuro thing, maybe snake bite. He came out of it but the other cat was alienated, (eight year old brothers.) That is what I did about it. It was over in a couple or three weeks. The cat had to get his normal gait back for things to normalize.
posted by Oyéah at 5:20 PM on August 27, 2015