Calling all playlists! ISO popular songs w/consent lyrics/theme
August 18, 2015 6:51 PM Subscribe
I will have some college students in a talk that discusses consent , along with some older folks, and I'm out of touch with recent popular music that has even a whiff of healthy consent and is sex-positive/relationship-positive (MJ's Let's Wait a While also fits the criteria, but has been around for a decade)
Oh, and for a bonus the brainstormer said - how about a fitness class with these themed songs that I'm drawing a blank on...flailing thoughts below the fold....
Recent popular music that fits any one of the following criteria has to exist, right?
A. Covers consent in a reasonable or specific way, such as the dialogue in Meatloaf's Paradise by the dashboard lights...which is gender heavy and could be seen as mutually coercive
B. Covers a yes-means-yes concept ...the spoof on Blurred Lines doesn't quite do it
C. Is healthy relationship/sex-positive with its lyrics - John Legend's All of Me is about love, but there is also "like" and "fwb/for the moment" relationship variations that are equally valid.
There are songs like this out there, right? I hear a portion of a country song called "Real Love" that sounded promising, but haven't found anyone's music list that fits the bill. The classic rock I enjoyed as a teen has provided me with Billy Joel's "Only the Good Die Young" as an ear worm, I have been thoroughly brainwashed, Help!!!!
Bonus points for songs that have a tempo for a fast-paced fitness class.
Recent popular music that fits any one of the following criteria has to exist, right?
A. Covers consent in a reasonable or specific way, such as the dialogue in Meatloaf's Paradise by the dashboard lights...which is gender heavy and could be seen as mutually coercive
B. Covers a yes-means-yes concept ...the spoof on Blurred Lines doesn't quite do it
C. Is healthy relationship/sex-positive with its lyrics - John Legend's All of Me is about love, but there is also "like" and "fwb/for the moment" relationship variations that are equally valid.
There are songs like this out there, right? I hear a portion of a country song called "Real Love" that sounded promising, but haven't found anyone's music list that fits the bill. The classic rock I enjoyed as a teen has provided me with Billy Joel's "Only the Good Die Young" as an ear worm, I have been thoroughly brainwashed, Help!!!!
Bonus points for songs that have a tempo for a fast-paced fitness class.
To approach it from the other direction, Mano Negra's song Love and Hate is an incredibly self-aware song about hating a woman for not dating me me me.
It highlights the very real problem of men who feel entitled to women's attention and could work to start a discussion.
Also, Mano Negra is awesome.
posted by phunniemee at 7:21 PM on August 18, 2015 [1 favorite]
I love your clothes
And I love your smile
I love you, I love you, I love you while
You don't even look at me and I go crazy
For all the women
That I never had
I sing my song
Of love and hate
I hate the boys
Walking by your side
I hate my dreams
They're not satisfied
I hate me, babe
For being too shy
I hate you, I hate you, I hate you while
You don't even look at me and I go crazy
It highlights the very real problem of men who feel entitled to women's attention and could work to start a discussion.
Also, Mano Negra is awesome.
posted by phunniemee at 7:21 PM on August 18, 2015 [1 favorite]
Best answer: I also think that the “popularity” of hipster dance music is debatable, but you could try QT’s “Hey QT” or Hannah Diamond’s “Every Night”. (The latter is actually pretty darn perfect.)
posted by Going To Maine at 7:21 PM on August 18, 2015
posted by Going To Maine at 7:21 PM on August 18, 2015
Best answer: We Don't Have to Take Our Clothes Off (sweet 80's jam).
posted by lovableiago at 7:23 PM on August 18, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by lovableiago at 7:23 PM on August 18, 2015 [3 favorites]
Best answer: This fails at being fitness class appropriate, and isn't new - but Dead Prez's Mind Sex fits your criteria. And it's also hilarious and awesome.
posted by missmary6 at 7:23 PM on August 18, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by missmary6 at 7:23 PM on August 18, 2015 [3 favorites]
Best answer: If You're Into It by Flight of the Conchords! It's a very silly song, but also quite sweet, and it definitely fits the consent bill.
posted by darkchocolatepyramid at 7:43 PM on August 18, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by darkchocolatepyramid at 7:43 PM on August 18, 2015 [4 favorites]
Best answer: It might be too explicit for your purposes, but J Cole's recent single Wet Dreamz (I know, I know, the title) is a sweet song about enthusiastically consenting first-time sex with an explicit safe-sex call out.
posted by animalrainbow at 7:50 PM on August 18, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by animalrainbow at 7:50 PM on August 18, 2015 [3 favorites]
Best answer: Bit of a grab bag, but maybe this'll send you in some good directions...
Uptempo
Carly Rae Jepsen "I Really Like You" (2015) - audio lyrics
"And I want you, do you want me, do you want me, too?"
Tegan & Sara "Closer" (2013) - audio lyrics
"All I want to know is can you come a little closer?"
Robyn "Hang With Me" (2010) - audio lyrics
FWB scenario - "I know what's on your mind/there will be time for that, too"
Midtempo
Salt-N-Pepa "Let's Talk About Sex" (1990) - audio lyrics
"Let's talk about all the good things and the bad things that may be"
Downtempo
J. Cole "Wet Dreamz" [explicit] (2014) - audio lyrics
"And I ain't never did this before"
Destiny's Child "Stay" (1999) - audio lyrics
90s production, but frank, poignant, and sad:
"If I granted all of your wishes/gave you more than touches and kisses/would you stay?/I need you to stay"
"I don't know exactly what I'm feeling/I'm kind of scared but then I'm kind of willing"
Hope this helps. Good luck! I hope you find everything you need.
posted by AteYourLembas at 7:58 PM on August 18, 2015 [2 favorites]
Uptempo
Carly Rae Jepsen "I Really Like You" (2015) - audio lyrics
"And I want you, do you want me, do you want me, too?"
Tegan & Sara "Closer" (2013) - audio lyrics
"All I want to know is can you come a little closer?"
Robyn "Hang With Me" (2010) - audio lyrics
FWB scenario - "I know what's on your mind/there will be time for that, too"
Midtempo
Salt-N-Pepa "Let's Talk About Sex" (1990) - audio lyrics
"Let's talk about all the good things and the bad things that may be"
Downtempo
J. Cole "Wet Dreamz" [explicit] (2014) - audio lyrics
"And I ain't never did this before"
Destiny's Child "Stay" (1999) - audio lyrics
90s production, but frank, poignant, and sad:
"If I granted all of your wishes/gave you more than touches and kisses/would you stay?/I need you to stay"
"I don't know exactly what I'm feeling/I'm kind of scared but then I'm kind of willing"
Hope this helps. Good luck! I hope you find everything you need.
posted by AteYourLembas at 7:58 PM on August 18, 2015 [2 favorites]
Best answer: 3 - Britney Spears
"Babe, pick a night/To come out and play/If it's alright/What do you say?"
posted by SisterHavana at 9:17 PM on August 18, 2015
"Babe, pick a night/To come out and play/If it's alright/What do you say?"
posted by SisterHavana at 9:17 PM on August 18, 2015
Do What U Want - Lady Gaga is basically the consent song
posted by Flamingo at 9:33 PM on August 18, 2015
posted by Flamingo at 9:33 PM on August 18, 2015
Not sure if this counts, but Wifey and I were just talking about "Honey, I'm Good" by Andy Grammer --
-- the guy can appreciate being hit on by a woman;
-- he can appreciate the woman's attractiveness;
-- he can admit he'd like to reciprocate and go home with the woman;
-- he can acknowledge he's already got a girlfriend so he won't reciprocate and he stands by the decision;
-- this is the important part: there's no slut-shaming, no actual cheating, no belittling him for not taking her up on the offer, no negative "ball-and-chain" attitude about the girlfriend, etc. -- so it's a rather equitable attitude towards men and women being sexually assertive without negativity. (aside from the 'unholy grail' line, but that may be more overdramatic than an actual sin reference)
posted by AzraelBrown at 5:45 AM on August 19, 2015 [3 favorites]
-- the guy can appreciate being hit on by a woman;
-- he can appreciate the woman's attractiveness;
-- he can admit he'd like to reciprocate and go home with the woman;
-- he can acknowledge he's already got a girlfriend so he won't reciprocate and he stands by the decision;
-- this is the important part: there's no slut-shaming, no actual cheating, no belittling him for not taking her up on the offer, no negative "ball-and-chain" attitude about the girlfriend, etc. -- so it's a rather equitable attitude towards men and women being sexually assertive without negativity. (aside from the 'unholy grail' line, but that may be more overdramatic than an actual sin reference)
posted by AzraelBrown at 5:45 AM on August 19, 2015 [3 favorites]
What about the ultimate, ultimate 80s jam "I Wonder If I Take You Home"?
posted by nubianinthedesert at 9:05 AM on August 19, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by nubianinthedesert at 9:05 AM on August 19, 2015 [1 favorite]
Best answer: Jason Mraz's Butterfly is very sex-positive and deals with consent as well:
And you make my slacks a little tight
You may unfasten them if you like
And:
You know that fortune favors the brave
Well let me get paid while I make you breakfast
The rest is up to you, you make the call
posted by yawper at 9:59 AM on August 19, 2015 [1 favorite]
And you make my slacks a little tight
You may unfasten them if you like
And:
You know that fortune favors the brave
Well let me get paid while I make you breakfast
The rest is up to you, you make the call
posted by yawper at 9:59 AM on August 19, 2015 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: These are solid - more songs are welcome. I'm not going for hipster so much as songs that I don't have to explain. Having Tom Hanks in the "I really Like You" video is a great generational bridge.
posted by childofTethys at 12:39 PM on August 19, 2015
posted by childofTethys at 12:39 PM on August 19, 2015
Best answer: I am, as usual, overthinking this, pondering different songs, essentially thinking, "Well, it doesn't have the lyric 'Consent is sexy,' so it probably doesn't qualify." But here's a few:
Stay the Night (Zedd ft. Hayley Williams)
Very sex positive, and though I was initially troubled by "Hold your tongue and hear me out," I think it does imply a conversation that's taking place about the encounter, and "You kill the lights, I'll draw the blinds," certainly sounds like both partners are willing participants.
Tove Lo's Talking Body is definitely sex positive (and explicit - and fantastic), though I continue to be torn on whether it is expressing a healthy sexual experience or a self-destructive one on the part of the singer.
Love love give me love
Anything you want I'll give it up
Lips lips I kiss
Bite me while I taste your fingertips
Speaking of John Legend, Green Light asks for consent:
I'm ready to go right now
Give me the green light
Cassie's Me & U is solidly about asking for permission:
I was waiting for you
To tell me you were ready
I know what to do
If only you will let me
And on a slightly different take, Hailee Steinfeld recently released possibly the most pop-friendly ode to masturbation ever:
I know how to scream my own name
I love me
Gonna love myself
No, I don't need anybody else
posted by Catenation at 7:35 PM on August 19, 2015 [1 favorite]
Stay the Night (Zedd ft. Hayley Williams)
Very sex positive, and though I was initially troubled by "Hold your tongue and hear me out," I think it does imply a conversation that's taking place about the encounter, and "You kill the lights, I'll draw the blinds," certainly sounds like both partners are willing participants.
Tove Lo's Talking Body is definitely sex positive (and explicit - and fantastic), though I continue to be torn on whether it is expressing a healthy sexual experience or a self-destructive one on the part of the singer.
Love love give me love
Anything you want I'll give it up
Lips lips I kiss
Bite me while I taste your fingertips
Speaking of John Legend, Green Light asks for consent:
I'm ready to go right now
Give me the green light
Cassie's Me & U is solidly about asking for permission:
I was waiting for you
To tell me you were ready
I know what to do
If only you will let me
And on a slightly different take, Hailee Steinfeld recently released possibly the most pop-friendly ode to masturbation ever:
I know how to scream my own name
I love me
Gonna love myself
No, I don't need anybody else
posted by Catenation at 7:35 PM on August 19, 2015 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: There are some great suggestions here, the talk went well and we're halfway to a fitness class with Cassie Hailee and more on the list. Add to the thread until they close it. Lianne La Havas' "Is your Love Big Enough and Kendrick Lamar's "i" to add to the mojo.
Thank you!
posted by childofTethys at 10:49 PM on August 22, 2015
Thank you!
posted by childofTethys at 10:49 PM on August 22, 2015
It's probably too filthy for a fitness class, but "Shake that" by Nate Dogg is highly sex-positive and respects consent in its own idiosyncratic way:
I want a bitch to sit at the crib with no panties on
Knows that she can but she won't say no
Now look at this lady all in front of me, sexy as can be
Tonight I want a slut, would you be mine?
Heard you was freaky from a friend of mine.
posted by phoenixy at 10:33 AM on August 29, 2015
I want a bitch to sit at the crib with no panties on
Knows that she can but she won't say no
Now look at this lady all in front of me, sexy as can be
Tonight I want a slut, would you be mine?
Heard you was freaky from a friend of mine.
posted by phoenixy at 10:33 AM on August 29, 2015
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by Going To Maine at 7:12 PM on August 18, 2015