A Frustrated Musician - How Do I Unleash The Demon?
May 25, 2015 4:12 PM Subscribe
All I want in life is play music with passion. It is all I ever wanted.
My life has been an awful series of missteps and failures; I would like to get this one thing right.
I want to get out there and really, actually be a musician. Play for people, make records...all of it.
I don't care if I get rich. I don't care if it kills me. I just want to play.
But Instead I hide in my appartment, dreaming about it and doing nothing.
I am so scared to try. I am scared that I am no good, and that will mean the ONE thing I thought I WAS GOOD AT would be lie to myself. That would just devastate me.
So instead, I hide, and die everyday.
I want to stop this. I need to play.
It is killing me.
How to I get over myself? How do I get BRAVE, and stop being a coward?
Should I do drugs? I need a catharsis. I need a spiritual experience, or something.
I would sell my soul in a half-second to finally get going on this.
I have so much passion, but it is locked inside my scared little brain.
I think I am great, yet I am sure I am wrong.
I am desperate. I have no choice but to do this and yet I am frozen. I want to scream.
How do the other musicians get out there? What do they have that I don't?
Why does fear rule my life?
How do I KILL THE FEAR?
I want to play...please, me, let me play.
My life has been an awful series of missteps and failures; I would like to get this one thing right.
I want to get out there and really, actually be a musician. Play for people, make records...all of it.
I don't care if I get rich. I don't care if it kills me. I just want to play.
But Instead I hide in my appartment, dreaming about it and doing nothing.
I am so scared to try. I am scared that I am no good, and that will mean the ONE thing I thought I WAS GOOD AT would be lie to myself. That would just devastate me.
So instead, I hide, and die everyday.
I want to stop this. I need to play.
It is killing me.
How to I get over myself? How do I get BRAVE, and stop being a coward?
Should I do drugs? I need a catharsis. I need a spiritual experience, or something.
I would sell my soul in a half-second to finally get going on this.
I have so much passion, but it is locked inside my scared little brain.
I think I am great, yet I am sure I am wrong.
I am desperate. I have no choice but to do this and yet I am frozen. I want to scream.
How do the other musicians get out there? What do they have that I don't?
Why does fear rule my life?
How do I KILL THE FEAR?
I want to play...please, me, let me play.
Play badly.
Lookup YouTube videos of people playing and singing badly.
There's a time for good inspiration, and a time for bad inspiration.
posted by cmcmcm at 4:22 PM on May 25, 2015 [1 favorite]
Lookup YouTube videos of people playing and singing badly.
There's a time for good inspiration, and a time for bad inspiration.
posted by cmcmcm at 4:22 PM on May 25, 2015 [1 favorite]
If what you want is to get over fear of playing, I would suggest joining an ensemble.
posted by DarlingBri at 4:48 PM on May 25, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by DarlingBri at 4:48 PM on May 25, 2015 [2 favorites]
Despite the fact you adknowledge the core problem, just the fact you're writing this is intellectualizing it. Just go and perform in front of someone, anyone. None of that "Well I'm not ready, I need more practice". It's just another way to stall. Maybe you're great, and maybe you're not but you'll never be anything musically if you don't put yourself out there. It's good to be vulnerable, to give yourself completely, and wherever the pieces land, at least you'll know. It's a journey, but you're just spinning your wheels. Growth comes when you can look at yourself critically. It may hurt, but it also feels good to know what you need to do to reach the heights of your potential.
posted by Aranquis at 5:13 PM on May 25, 2015
posted by Aranquis at 5:13 PM on May 25, 2015
Response by poster: I would love to join an ensemble...join a band. But that scares me too.
I have a soundcloud page, but I'm scared to promote it.
I have written so many songs, I love them but I think everyone else won't.
I really really really want to sing but I am terrible. I want to get lessons but I am ultra embarrassed and can't. I can't afford it anyway.
All at once I am scared to do this and scared Not to. And I am going slowly insane in the process...
posted by Soap D. Spencer at 5:13 PM on May 25, 2015
I have a soundcloud page, but I'm scared to promote it.
I have written so many songs, I love them but I think everyone else won't.
I really really really want to sing but I am terrible. I want to get lessons but I am ultra embarrassed and can't. I can't afford it anyway.
All at once I am scared to do this and scared Not to. And I am going slowly insane in the process...
posted by Soap D. Spencer at 5:13 PM on May 25, 2015
What is the worst thing that will happen if you post a song and people tell you it's terrible?
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 5:20 PM on May 25, 2015
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 5:20 PM on May 25, 2015
Response by poster: Everything everyone here has said so far makes nothing but sense, but I still can't grok it. I am missing something.
I have been playing and writing for 27 years, I should have this figured out by now. Time keeps ticking, and it's like I'm still 14...
posted by Soap D. Spencer at 5:22 PM on May 25, 2015
I have been playing and writing for 27 years, I should have this figured out by now. Time keeps ticking, and it's like I'm still 14...
posted by Soap D. Spencer at 5:22 PM on May 25, 2015
I think I am great, yet I am sure I am wrong.
You probably are wrong, most people aren't great (almost by definition). But it doesn't matter. You don't have to be great to get out and play, you just have to enjoy it. And you won't know if you enjoy it until you try it.
This sounds like a fear of failure thing. Don't worry about failure, don't even define what success is for you other than showing up and participating in music. It doesn't matter if you're good or bad. It doesn't matter if it's a tryout, or a band rehearsal, or a solo open mic gig, or an actual show. Just get out there and *do* it, that's all that matters. And that's how *everyone* starts out.
posted by grog at 5:26 PM on May 25, 2015 [6 favorites]
You probably are wrong, most people aren't great (almost by definition). But it doesn't matter. You don't have to be great to get out and play, you just have to enjoy it. And you won't know if you enjoy it until you try it.
This sounds like a fear of failure thing. Don't worry about failure, don't even define what success is for you other than showing up and participating in music. It doesn't matter if you're good or bad. It doesn't matter if it's a tryout, or a band rehearsal, or a solo open mic gig, or an actual show. Just get out there and *do* it, that's all that matters. And that's how *everyone* starts out.
posted by grog at 5:26 PM on May 25, 2015 [6 favorites]
I might sound like a nut with some of these suggestions, but well, here goes.
I will take it your word that playing music for others is very important to you. I've noticed that you have asked similar questions a few years ago, so yes, it is probably one of the most important things to you. People gave many suggestions in some of those other posts (this is not an attack), this is to say: 1) Music is a very important goal for you, one that you have kept for several years, and 2) random brainstorming by us about music won't do anything.
But if this is your most important goal, then go to another extreme if it is truly fear. Maybe (and I don't usually suggest this, and I don't like seeing it as a suggestion for everything) try therapy, but your ONLY goal is to get over the fear and start playing music. You tell this to whatever therapist you get. There are people with sliding scales, so it should be affordable if this is your most important wish in life. They might have various ideas to work through with you, whether it be CBT (I don't know, they will develop a plan for you).
Also, I think you are making this into a mountain from the get go. Make it into a hill. Instead of looking at this and saying "Must be famous musician", as a start make it: Can a few people listen to my music?
I know that people have pointed you to these resources before, but metafilter has a monthly music competition. Put ONE SONG on there for the next one. OR, there are also projects. Put a few songs on your sound cloud, and drop it there.
If you are worried about the comments (and I hear you on that), then something like youtube - turn off the comments, turn off the ratings, just put it on. You can even attach a fake name (go internet).
I think that you will progress more when you get feedback, but these are initial baby steps.
posted by Wolfster at 5:32 PM on May 25, 2015 [2 favorites]
I will take it your word that playing music for others is very important to you. I've noticed that you have asked similar questions a few years ago, so yes, it is probably one of the most important things to you. People gave many suggestions in some of those other posts (this is not an attack), this is to say: 1) Music is a very important goal for you, one that you have kept for several years, and 2) random brainstorming by us about music won't do anything.
But if this is your most important goal, then go to another extreme if it is truly fear. Maybe (and I don't usually suggest this, and I don't like seeing it as a suggestion for everything) try therapy, but your ONLY goal is to get over the fear and start playing music. You tell this to whatever therapist you get. There are people with sliding scales, so it should be affordable if this is your most important wish in life. They might have various ideas to work through with you, whether it be CBT (I don't know, they will develop a plan for you).
Also, I think you are making this into a mountain from the get go. Make it into a hill. Instead of looking at this and saying "Must be famous musician", as a start make it: Can a few people listen to my music?
I know that people have pointed you to these resources before, but metafilter has a monthly music competition. Put ONE SONG on there for the next one. OR, there are also projects. Put a few songs on your sound cloud, and drop it there.
If you are worried about the comments (and I hear you on that), then something like youtube - turn off the comments, turn off the ratings, just put it on. You can even attach a fake name (go internet).
I think that you will progress more when you get feedback, but these are initial baby steps.
posted by Wolfster at 5:32 PM on May 25, 2015 [2 favorites]
I think I can relate to what you're going through, because I went through something pretty similar for a while. I set music up as this passion I had, the one chance I had to show the world that I had something going for me. I mean, of course I was terrified to play in front of people. That's so much pressure - "it's not just the music, it's everything." Who wouldn't be petrified?
I'm speaking from experience now when I say that's not how music works. There's no one moment of performance or songwriting or playing that's ever going to define who you are as a person and as a musician. And the more you play, the more comfortable you'll feel. Each performance, each song, is going to add up to a larger whole. Nothing hinges on a single song, and nothing hinges on a single performance. I still remember my first performance, and it was terrifying, but it didn't define me in perpetuity - I wasn't even playing the same instrument I play now.
All of this is intellectual, and it may or may not resonate. On a practical level, maybe try to go and see as much live, local music as you can. Show up at open-mic nights. You don't even need to play. Just go hear other musicians, and don't think of being a musician as something that's so far out of reach. Be the audience you'd like to have for your own performance. You'll be seeing exactly how other musicians get themselves out there. Plus you'll be doing them a favor by supporting them as they start out - and they'll do the same thing for you if you decide to sing a song sometime.
posted by teponaztli at 5:52 PM on May 25, 2015 [6 favorites]
I'm speaking from experience now when I say that's not how music works. There's no one moment of performance or songwriting or playing that's ever going to define who you are as a person and as a musician. And the more you play, the more comfortable you'll feel. Each performance, each song, is going to add up to a larger whole. Nothing hinges on a single song, and nothing hinges on a single performance. I still remember my first performance, and it was terrifying, but it didn't define me in perpetuity - I wasn't even playing the same instrument I play now.
All of this is intellectual, and it may or may not resonate. On a practical level, maybe try to go and see as much live, local music as you can. Show up at open-mic nights. You don't even need to play. Just go hear other musicians, and don't think of being a musician as something that's so far out of reach. Be the audience you'd like to have for your own performance. You'll be seeing exactly how other musicians get themselves out there. Plus you'll be doing them a favor by supporting them as they start out - and they'll do the same thing for you if you decide to sing a song sometime.
posted by teponaztli at 5:52 PM on May 25, 2015 [6 favorites]
The folks on Mefi Music seem nice, maybe post a few songs there as a first, tiny hurdle to jump?
posted by rockindata at 5:58 PM on May 25, 2015 [8 favorites]
posted by rockindata at 5:58 PM on May 25, 2015 [8 favorites]
Here is the smallest unit of forward progress I can imagine. In your town, is there a local park of the type where joggers go? Your next free, decent weather day, go there with your instrument. Find an out of the way spot. Get comfortable.
Play one note. If that one note was too hard, go home and reward yourself for forward progress, and do the same thing tomorrow. Next time, one note and tune up. If the world didn't end, play a song.
For singing: in my town, the lowest, cheapest barrier to entry is a church choir. I'm not even much of a churchgoer, and not much of a musician, but I love singing with a choir because they are grateful for every warm body. You could literally start by just moving your mouth. And I guarantee you will learn about the nitty gritty of musicianship and performance.
posted by tchemgrrl at 6:41 PM on May 25, 2015 [4 favorites]
Play one note. If that one note was too hard, go home and reward yourself for forward progress, and do the same thing tomorrow. Next time, one note and tune up. If the world didn't end, play a song.
For singing: in my town, the lowest, cheapest barrier to entry is a church choir. I'm not even much of a churchgoer, and not much of a musician, but I love singing with a choir because they are grateful for every warm body. You could literally start by just moving your mouth. And I guarantee you will learn about the nitty gritty of musicianship and performance.
posted by tchemgrrl at 6:41 PM on May 25, 2015 [4 favorites]
Find and join a music-oriented Meetup. I'm in a couple of groups composed of amateurs with different skill levels, including both beginners and very skilled players. We do it to enjoy ourselves and get better at playing, not to judge or be judged. You will have to play songs that others might know so everyone can participate. If you want to start getting comfortable at performing in public, this is a good way to do it.
posted by KwaiChangCaine at 6:48 PM on May 25, 2015
posted by KwaiChangCaine at 6:48 PM on May 25, 2015
This is where metaphors and helpful bromides run wild. My guitar got me through times of no money better than money got me through times with no guitar.
Anyhow, I played with some family members: back yard jams, brother on the fiddle, sister on guitar and juice-harp. Mom liked to strum some, although she seemed to be able to play only in the key of C. She especially liked to sing spirituals, but she couldn't carry a tune in a bucket. For a while, in my early teens, when I was first learning, I thought guitar players got laid, but I got straightened out on that score early on. By then I was hooked. Later on I played in a garage band, five of us. No gigs, but we had a good time in a large brick warehouse, at night, amps turned up...then the drummer ran off with the sax player's girlfriend. That slowed us down a bit, but then things got sort of sour when the sax player got busted.
Lots of time passed, much water flowed under the bridge.
I got old.
Then I started playing with the Old Time Fiddlers...rhythm guitar, a second-class citizen in a country where fiddlers are royalty. Met some fine musicians, but we are amateurs because we don't get paid (the org gets paid and we put the money into music scholarships and instruments for kids). We play Old Time Music (not Bluegrass, never Bluegrass) for Senior Centers, street fairs, campground doings and such. I am sometimes privileged to back up the likes of Don Maddox, a retired professional fiddler and all around good guy. Our district is lucky to have dozens of gee-whiz fiddlers, actual talents, and it's often a stretch for me to back them. Sometimes we play to an audience of several hundred, sometimes to only half a dozen. After a while I met up with a banjo player and another guitar player, and we formed a trio, spread out our repertoire a bit, playing a little Irish, a little country, a little blues, for peanuts and applause. I didn't have to drop my Old Time Fiddlers' gigs, just got busier. In the meantime the trio work had me singing harmonies and doing guitar fills, so I took some serious interest in tightening up my licks. You want that runout to look effortless, and when you play like I do it takes about a hundred hours to get it down. Most folks with a passion can get fair to middling good if they work at it. You can let the superstar in you mature, and it will break out in its own good time.
You get the idea. Sometimes I wish I'd spent my salad years studying music instead of what I actually did, but right now I'm having the time of my life, playing anywhere from a few to a few dozen gigs a month.
Find a way to hang around musicians and work on your stuff. Sometimes music stores sponsor jams. Bring your instrument and see what they do. In our area, we have many open mike venues. Some of them are appropriate only for skilled performers, but others greet the earnest busker warmly.
You'll get over that fear of performing soon enough, but that won't happen until you get performances under your belt. The trick is to get started. If you have some basic talent there's a slot for you somewhere. Don't be too choosy--there's only two kinds of music, good and bad. Even a novice can play good music. Keep an open mind until you get enough experience to spread out. By the way, great guitar players are a dime a dozen but a solid bass man will always find a gig.
posted by mule98J at 7:29 PM on May 25, 2015 [3 favorites]
Anyhow, I played with some family members: back yard jams, brother on the fiddle, sister on guitar and juice-harp. Mom liked to strum some, although she seemed to be able to play only in the key of C. She especially liked to sing spirituals, but she couldn't carry a tune in a bucket. For a while, in my early teens, when I was first learning, I thought guitar players got laid, but I got straightened out on that score early on. By then I was hooked. Later on I played in a garage band, five of us. No gigs, but we had a good time in a large brick warehouse, at night, amps turned up...then the drummer ran off with the sax player's girlfriend. That slowed us down a bit, but then things got sort of sour when the sax player got busted.
Lots of time passed, much water flowed under the bridge.
I got old.
Then I started playing with the Old Time Fiddlers...rhythm guitar, a second-class citizen in a country where fiddlers are royalty. Met some fine musicians, but we are amateurs because we don't get paid (the org gets paid and we put the money into music scholarships and instruments for kids). We play Old Time Music (not Bluegrass, never Bluegrass) for Senior Centers, street fairs, campground doings and such. I am sometimes privileged to back up the likes of Don Maddox, a retired professional fiddler and all around good guy. Our district is lucky to have dozens of gee-whiz fiddlers, actual talents, and it's often a stretch for me to back them. Sometimes we play to an audience of several hundred, sometimes to only half a dozen. After a while I met up with a banjo player and another guitar player, and we formed a trio, spread out our repertoire a bit, playing a little Irish, a little country, a little blues, for peanuts and applause. I didn't have to drop my Old Time Fiddlers' gigs, just got busier. In the meantime the trio work had me singing harmonies and doing guitar fills, so I took some serious interest in tightening up my licks. You want that runout to look effortless, and when you play like I do it takes about a hundred hours to get it down. Most folks with a passion can get fair to middling good if they work at it. You can let the superstar in you mature, and it will break out in its own good time.
You get the idea. Sometimes I wish I'd spent my salad years studying music instead of what I actually did, but right now I'm having the time of my life, playing anywhere from a few to a few dozen gigs a month.
Find a way to hang around musicians and work on your stuff. Sometimes music stores sponsor jams. Bring your instrument and see what they do. In our area, we have many open mike venues. Some of them are appropriate only for skilled performers, but others greet the earnest busker warmly.
You'll get over that fear of performing soon enough, but that won't happen until you get performances under your belt. The trick is to get started. If you have some basic talent there's a slot for you somewhere. Don't be too choosy--there's only two kinds of music, good and bad. Even a novice can play good music. Keep an open mind until you get enough experience to spread out. By the way, great guitar players are a dime a dozen but a solid bass man will always find a gig.
posted by mule98J at 7:29 PM on May 25, 2015 [3 favorites]
There's a book called Effortless Mastery: Liberating the Master Musician Within that might help. A lot of it is about dropping the self-critic. It's written by a jazz pianist, but the techniques apply pretty broadly. Some of them are explicitly spiritual, and aim at helping you achieve bona fide ecstatic performance. Which certainly can be cathartic. So I imagine they will appeal to you.
Do not take drugs to address this. (Do not take drugs to address this.)
posted by bertran at 9:11 PM on May 25, 2015 [3 favorites]
Do not take drugs to address this. (Do not take drugs to address this.)
posted by bertran at 9:11 PM on May 25, 2015 [3 favorites]
I'm not a musician, but this sounds like anxiety to me. You could look into CBT, or you could try a book. Things Might Go Terribly Horribly Wrong is very good--I'm reading it now.
posted by wintersweet at 9:25 PM on May 25, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by wintersweet at 9:25 PM on May 25, 2015 [4 favorites]
I'm a musician (kind of), and after a long hiatus, I started meeting new people, making new music, playing shows and putting on my own shows. Some stuff I'd never done before and had been afraid of doing.
So listen up.
I recommend two things:
1. Acknowledge your worst fears (people laughing at you because they thing you suck? people not caring at all about your music?) and embrace them with open arms as absolute possibilities - realities, even. People hate your music? Okay, fine. People hate your music. That's not going to kill you. Imagine someone listening to your music, saying "man, that's some really boring stuff you've got there." And you responding with, "okay, I'm going to play some more of it, and you can hate it or be indifferent to it and I can like it or half-like and half-be-frustrated-by-the-quality-of-it, because it's just music and it's not really important." Afraid of failure? Accept failure. Say, "I failed!" Make it a thing in the past, not a future fear looming over you. Then move forward....
2. Play music for other people - any other people. Invite two people over for a house concert. Do it again and invite three people.
I think if you do these two things, you'll figure the rest of the details out.
You've got this.
posted by univac at 11:47 PM on May 25, 2015
So listen up.
I recommend two things:
1. Acknowledge your worst fears (people laughing at you because they thing you suck? people not caring at all about your music?) and embrace them with open arms as absolute possibilities - realities, even. People hate your music? Okay, fine. People hate your music. That's not going to kill you. Imagine someone listening to your music, saying "man, that's some really boring stuff you've got there." And you responding with, "okay, I'm going to play some more of it, and you can hate it or be indifferent to it and I can like it or half-like and half-be-frustrated-by-the-quality-of-it, because it's just music and it's not really important." Afraid of failure? Accept failure. Say, "I failed!" Make it a thing in the past, not a future fear looming over you. Then move forward....
2. Play music for other people - any other people. Invite two people over for a house concert. Do it again and invite three people.
I think if you do these two things, you'll figure the rest of the details out.
You've got this.
posted by univac at 11:47 PM on May 25, 2015
a) A book I am reading and enjoying on this very subject is Art and Fear, I recommend it
b) You say you're a terrible singer, lots of successful and famous singers would be considered "bad" to many ears, it's about how you express your art not what is to the most people's taste. Citation - Beth Ditto, the guy from Kings of Leon, some people even hate the sound of Kate Bush's voice (although those people can and should be killed)
c) YES come over to MeFiMusic and post some of your stuff. We love original material, we are kind and never mean about people's work, and we will give you constructive criticism if you want it.
posted by greenish at 2:51 AM on May 26, 2015 [2 favorites]
b) You say you're a terrible singer, lots of successful and famous singers would be considered "bad" to many ears, it's about how you express your art not what is to the most people's taste. Citation - Beth Ditto, the guy from Kings of Leon, some people even hate the sound of Kate Bush's voice (although those people can and should be killed)
c) YES come over to MeFiMusic and post some of your stuff. We love original material, we are kind and never mean about people's work, and we will give you constructive criticism if you want it.
posted by greenish at 2:51 AM on May 26, 2015 [2 favorites]
Oh yes, I know what you're going through. Excruciatingly, and right now. And it's exactly as you said-- everything people tell you makes absolute, unassailable sense, but there's something awful and self-defeating and terrifying that you just can't break through to try any of it. And it feels like it doesn't matter whether art is subjective, that's not going to save you, because the rules for you are different, and harsher "Feels like", not "is", and you know that, but knowing that doesn't help.
I recently posted this question, about the exact same thing. (Not with music, because I don't think I'll ever have the stones to go for that one-- it's more intimidating even than writing, which is saying a lot.) It got some very good responses, some of which might help you too. Then there's the very idea of failing a couple of times as a necessary step toward having the strength to try hard for success, which I am very much hoping is going to assist me, just as soon as I can scrape together the guts to do it.
I do have one trick to share, though. If you're like me, the very hardest part is starting. And not just starting once, starting every single time you want to work. For me, I get overwhelmed by the idea of all the other things I need to do and how impossibly many of them there are, and it all becomes too much, and I cannot do it at all. People suggest that you break a task into tiny pieces, and do one, and congratulate yourself for doing it. But when your block seems so utterly insurmountable, that tiny first step is too much too, no matter how small you try to make it. How do you even know where to start?
So I found a method that seems to work for me. Write a list, a short one, of things you need to do. Small, yes, and relevant. Six items will do, or twelve. First steps, not second or third. Stuff you could do right now. Then go here and let chance decide which of the six things you do. Somehow I find it much easier to act when I don't have to pick the absolute first step myself.
(This also works with house-cleaning or bill-paying or any other task you're putting off. Which is good, because otherwise I would be too overwhelmed by absolutely everything to ever get out of bed.)
I hope some of that helps.
posted by Because at 6:15 AM on May 26, 2015 [3 favorites]
I recently posted this question, about the exact same thing. (Not with music, because I don't think I'll ever have the stones to go for that one-- it's more intimidating even than writing, which is saying a lot.) It got some very good responses, some of which might help you too. Then there's the very idea of failing a couple of times as a necessary step toward having the strength to try hard for success, which I am very much hoping is going to assist me, just as soon as I can scrape together the guts to do it.
I do have one trick to share, though. If you're like me, the very hardest part is starting. And not just starting once, starting every single time you want to work. For me, I get overwhelmed by the idea of all the other things I need to do and how impossibly many of them there are, and it all becomes too much, and I cannot do it at all. People suggest that you break a task into tiny pieces, and do one, and congratulate yourself for doing it. But when your block seems so utterly insurmountable, that tiny first step is too much too, no matter how small you try to make it. How do you even know where to start?
So I found a method that seems to work for me. Write a list, a short one, of things you need to do. Small, yes, and relevant. Six items will do, or twelve. First steps, not second or third. Stuff you could do right now. Then go here and let chance decide which of the six things you do. Somehow I find it much easier to act when I don't have to pick the absolute first step myself.
(This also works with house-cleaning or bill-paying or any other task you're putting off. Which is good, because otherwise I would be too overwhelmed by absolutely everything to ever get out of bed.)
I hope some of that helps.
posted by Because at 6:15 AM on May 26, 2015 [3 favorites]
I just wanted to say that one way to get over your fear, if you play a musical instrument and sing, is to take your instrument and the goofiest song you know about (do children's songs, if you want, just to start) and go find a medium-traffic sidewalk. Drop a hat on the sidewalk and play and sing two songs as terribly as you can.
If you're afraid someone will recognize you, wear a hat and a goofy fake beard. Most people will ignore you. A few may stop and sing along. It doesn't matter if you're out of tune or you're singing a cover of a Backstreet Boys b-side. Be in public for two songs.
Super scared? Sing really short songs. Write a couple of songs that only have one verse and a chorus, and repeat the chorus. Really simple songs.
If the singing is too much, wear sunglasses and a giant hat and don't sing anything. Just stand there with your guitar or whatever and play a chord or two. Is it getting scary? Okay, you showed up. Go home. Come back this weekend, set up for 15 minutes, play some chords. Go home.
If a sidewalk is too much, go to a park near where you live and sit at a picnic table and practice there. (Sometimes, I do that when I need a change of pace.) Sometimes, little kids will come up and ask questions. Then, you can sing to them. Pop Goes the Weasel. The Alphabet song. Singing for children is fun because the songs are simple and they're probably going to sing along at the top of their lungs.
Every single step in the direction of your dreams adds up to a great journey. Good luck.
(Also, I'm going through lots of these answers, because I sometimes have an issue listen to my own voice on a recording I made in the car. Good advice all around.)
posted by phoebus at 12:19 PM on May 26, 2015 [2 favorites]
If you're afraid someone will recognize you, wear a hat and a goofy fake beard. Most people will ignore you. A few may stop and sing along. It doesn't matter if you're out of tune or you're singing a cover of a Backstreet Boys b-side. Be in public for two songs.
Super scared? Sing really short songs. Write a couple of songs that only have one verse and a chorus, and repeat the chorus. Really simple songs.
If the singing is too much, wear sunglasses and a giant hat and don't sing anything. Just stand there with your guitar or whatever and play a chord or two. Is it getting scary? Okay, you showed up. Go home. Come back this weekend, set up for 15 minutes, play some chords. Go home.
If a sidewalk is too much, go to a park near where you live and sit at a picnic table and practice there. (Sometimes, I do that when I need a change of pace.) Sometimes, little kids will come up and ask questions. Then, you can sing to them. Pop Goes the Weasel. The Alphabet song. Singing for children is fun because the songs are simple and they're probably going to sing along at the top of their lungs.
Every single step in the direction of your dreams adds up to a great journey. Good luck.
(Also, I'm going through lots of these answers, because I sometimes have an issue listen to my own voice on a recording I made in the car. Good advice all around.)
posted by phoebus at 12:19 PM on May 26, 2015 [2 favorites]
You're probably pretty bad. And that's ok. You're probably full of bad notes because they're the protective cover the good notes need to keep them safe. But you need to get all those bad notes out somehow, why not start now?
posted by Sebmojo at 10:29 PM on May 26, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by Sebmojo at 10:29 PM on May 26, 2015 [3 favorites]
Ah, the times when only commitment kept me going, blindly. But now even by objective measures it seems to have worked out for me. Pray on it, stay on it.
posted by yoHighness at 4:20 PM on May 27, 2015
posted by yoHighness at 4:20 PM on May 27, 2015
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All of the tormented-artist shit you're currently going through proves you at least have the soul of a creative person. But you're not going to be one until you override all that and just play. If you don't end up loving it, no amount of ego gratification is going to satisfy you. Just tell your monkey mind to shut up, and play.
posted by Beethoven's Sith at 4:18 PM on May 25, 2015 [2 favorites]