Travel and fatigue
March 15, 2015 7:03 AM Subscribe
I have difficulty managing energy levels both at home and away, and I'd like some tips to balance things out for an upcoming group tour and avoid burnout. All experience welcome.
On Tuesday I'm leaving (from the UK) for ten days in Denmark with my choir. There will be several concerts with rehearsals, trips and off-days, and the music is vocally, emotionally and cognitively demanding. I've done similar trips before as well as shorter ones within the UK, and my current automatic method of coping is to crash out on one of the days to sleep, rest, and have a small meltdown.
My background is that I've recently been diagnosed (at last!) with ADHD after being treated for comorbid depression/anxiety since adolescence. I'm also autistic (this detail's mainly here for other autists, ignore it if it doesn't speak to you - I'm ""high functioning""/mildly aspie/whatever). I'm stable on my maximum tolerable dose of fluoxetine and have just started a new round of therapy; my coffee tolerance is about 3 shots daily and I'm not on ADHD meds yet. Putting this here because Ask likes you not to bury the details! The practical side is that although I'm happy and flourishing in my own way, I struggle with routine, fatigue, some triggers and thought loops which make daily life harder to navigate, as well as my capacity for socialising/language sometimes running dry. I know these are things everyone experiences to some degree, which is why I'm asking this question.
So that said, I'm interested in gathering information on how others look after themselves when travelling - busy schedule, new environment, new routine, wanting to make the most of social time with your group and of the place you're visiting. Are there ways to profit from small amounts of downtime - do they work for you? Do you know in detail about your limits? What are your essentials to look after yourself when you're travelling?
Caffeine, hydration, food and nutrition balance (I react strongly to sugar lows especially when under stress but sugar seems such a necessary quick pick-me-up) and sleep are all things I'm trying to balance. My day-after-activity physical and mental fatigue is quite sledgehammer.
One of the danger points for me is mornings, when I'm tired, my executive function is low and FOMO isn't enough to motivate me. I'll be staying in a large dorm, and not sure about a morning short yoga or meditation practice, but I wouldn't mind looking weird if it helps. I'm also working on what to do when I feel a burnout day coming on - scripts to repeat to myself to avoid falling into the complicated whirlpool of "I'm so tired, I really need to rest"/"I don't want to deal with any of the world right now"/"I'm letting everyone down" (this is why I have a complicated relationship with rest! It's not going to be solved in the time before I go away, and that's okay.)
In short, I'm really excited and keen on this trip, and would like to manage it wisely and practically. I'll compile a self-care list before I go and keep it with me. Advice, suggestions and experiences very welcome. Thank you!
On Tuesday I'm leaving (from the UK) for ten days in Denmark with my choir. There will be several concerts with rehearsals, trips and off-days, and the music is vocally, emotionally and cognitively demanding. I've done similar trips before as well as shorter ones within the UK, and my current automatic method of coping is to crash out on one of the days to sleep, rest, and have a small meltdown.
My background is that I've recently been diagnosed (at last!) with ADHD after being treated for comorbid depression/anxiety since adolescence. I'm also autistic (this detail's mainly here for other autists, ignore it if it doesn't speak to you - I'm ""high functioning""/mildly aspie/whatever). I'm stable on my maximum tolerable dose of fluoxetine and have just started a new round of therapy; my coffee tolerance is about 3 shots daily and I'm not on ADHD meds yet. Putting this here because Ask likes you not to bury the details! The practical side is that although I'm happy and flourishing in my own way, I struggle with routine, fatigue, some triggers and thought loops which make daily life harder to navigate, as well as my capacity for socialising/language sometimes running dry. I know these are things everyone experiences to some degree, which is why I'm asking this question.
So that said, I'm interested in gathering information on how others look after themselves when travelling - busy schedule, new environment, new routine, wanting to make the most of social time with your group and of the place you're visiting. Are there ways to profit from small amounts of downtime - do they work for you? Do you know in detail about your limits? What are your essentials to look after yourself when you're travelling?
Caffeine, hydration, food and nutrition balance (I react strongly to sugar lows especially when under stress but sugar seems such a necessary quick pick-me-up) and sleep are all things I'm trying to balance. My day-after-activity physical and mental fatigue is quite sledgehammer.
One of the danger points for me is mornings, when I'm tired, my executive function is low and FOMO isn't enough to motivate me. I'll be staying in a large dorm, and not sure about a morning short yoga or meditation practice, but I wouldn't mind looking weird if it helps. I'm also working on what to do when I feel a burnout day coming on - scripts to repeat to myself to avoid falling into the complicated whirlpool of "I'm so tired, I really need to rest"/"I don't want to deal with any of the world right now"/"I'm letting everyone down" (this is why I have a complicated relationship with rest! It's not going to be solved in the time before I go away, and that's okay.)
In short, I'm really excited and keen on this trip, and would like to manage it wisely and practically. I'll compile a self-care list before I go and keep it with me. Advice, suggestions and experiences very welcome. Thank you!
Whenever i travel for more than 3-4 days, there's always a day that I totally crash, whether because of energy expenditure or jet lag or both. On that day, you could not get me to walk down the street even if aliens had just landed there. I just accept it and roll with it with no guilt. I'll admit that I've never had one of those days when I've *had* to do something - think I've just been able to postpone the crash by fear/adrenaline. YMMV.
Seconding headphones. Audio books or music, whatever works for you. I also try to not have too many late nights in a row. Easier said than done, I know. Look at the itinerary and try to pick a couple of nights where you won't mind missing out on the activities so much. An added bonus is a quiet room if your dorm mates go out. You won't mind missing out so much when they're struggling to stay awake and you're all nice and refreshed!
posted by pianissimo at 8:02 AM on March 15, 2015 [2 favorites]
Seconding headphones. Audio books or music, whatever works for you. I also try to not have too many late nights in a row. Easier said than done, I know. Look at the itinerary and try to pick a couple of nights where you won't mind missing out on the activities so much. An added bonus is a quiet room if your dorm mates go out. You won't mind missing out so much when they're struggling to stay awake and you're all nice and refreshed!
posted by pianissimo at 8:02 AM on March 15, 2015 [2 favorites]
For me, a little bit of alone time is highly restorative. It can even happen in a crowd, during travel, just as long as it is a crowd of strangers who don't interact with me. During travel that can mean heading off to an art museum for an hour or so by myself, and taking advantage of the seating in the galleries to catch my breath and just be. Other historic sites like churches or cathedrals or botanical gardens work for this as well. You just want to be in a place by yourself for a little bit of time where the social norm is to be fairly quiet and respect others who want to be contemplative. During a somewhat stressful trip with family I made sure to go on a couple of long solo "walks" to see the sights, which actually involved walking a little bit to a nice tea room with a pretty view and having a leisurely cup of tea and snack by myself with a good book for half hour. Take a cab to these places if need be, depending on your level of fatigue.
You just need to study up on the places you will be on your trip to investigate opportunities for quick breaks from the group that sound justified for you to do by yourself.
posted by gudrun at 8:19 AM on March 15, 2015 [4 favorites]
You just need to study up on the places you will be on your trip to investigate opportunities for quick breaks from the group that sound justified for you to do by yourself.
posted by gudrun at 8:19 AM on March 15, 2015 [4 favorites]
For me, it's just time away from other people. At some point in the trip if the rest of the group is going sightseeing or out to a restaurant stay behind and read a book. Just say you need to recharge your batteries so you can have more fun on the rest of the trip.
posted by MsMolly at 8:34 AM on March 15, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by MsMolly at 8:34 AM on March 15, 2015 [4 favorites]
Great ideas so far.
I look on dinner out or other post-performance events as one per every three days--you could have two or three (the latter if you have tons of time to crash once home). That's a given before I go: if there are particular people to spend time with, arrange a group for that dinner beforehand. Other nights I'm in bed early, listening to local radio (which I don't understand so I fall asleep faster).
Starting off with yoga in the AM is great; I've done it on the floor of my hotel room. The ideal relaxing/soothing/energizing activity is a swim, or basic exercises in the water.
I make up snack packs to carry with me so I can guarantee I won't have a blood sugar crash: nuts, seeds, sultanas. These are much less sweet than "energy bars".
If you have a favorite tea, bring bags along, one fewer unfamiliarity or irritation.
Have a great trip!
posted by Jesse the K at 9:00 AM on March 15, 2015 [1 favorite]
I look on dinner out or other post-performance events as one per every three days--you could have two or three (the latter if you have tons of time to crash once home). That's a given before I go: if there are particular people to spend time with, arrange a group for that dinner beforehand. Other nights I'm in bed early, listening to local radio (which I don't understand so I fall asleep faster).
Starting off with yoga in the AM is great; I've done it on the floor of my hotel room. The ideal relaxing/soothing/energizing activity is a swim, or basic exercises in the water.
I make up snack packs to carry with me so I can guarantee I won't have a blood sugar crash: nuts, seeds, sultanas. These are much less sweet than "energy bars".
If you have a favorite tea, bring bags along, one fewer unfamiliarity or irritation.
Have a great trip!
posted by Jesse the K at 9:00 AM on March 15, 2015 [1 favorite]
I love travel and am fairly extroverted, and I still can tend to crash in situations like this - it's very common. So I would say, try to build in some alone time and try not to worry about letting the group down. So for instance, if there's a day when you are feeling a bit crabby and everyone is going on some tour, just make the decision to stay in the dorm/go to a coffeeshop/do some wandering on your own.
Some people might give you what seems like a hard time about this - IME, 90% of the time it's innocent teasing, and for some people it's even a way of showing you that you're liked. The truth is, once you're not in the group, people will probably hardly notice!
The other thing that help me in scenarios like this is basic "good health hygiene": eating reasonably healthfully (it can be hard to get veggies when you're eating out a lot, for instance), staying hydrated, not drinking too much, and getting as close to 8 hours of sleep a night where possible. The last two, of course, are intimately related. If I'm with a group that likes to drink a lot, I will typically pick one or two nights to go all out (usually the last night is the most fun) and the other nights I'll have one drink then off to bed.
Finally, if you think it would be easier to have a few nights with your own room, look into whether or not this is possible. If you're staying in hostels, it might not be that expensive to get a private room for 2 or 3 nights and that might make a huge difference.
posted by lunasol at 9:22 AM on March 15, 2015 [1 favorite]
Some people might give you what seems like a hard time about this - IME, 90% of the time it's innocent teasing, and for some people it's even a way of showing you that you're liked. The truth is, once you're not in the group, people will probably hardly notice!
The other thing that help me in scenarios like this is basic "good health hygiene": eating reasonably healthfully (it can be hard to get veggies when you're eating out a lot, for instance), staying hydrated, not drinking too much, and getting as close to 8 hours of sleep a night where possible. The last two, of course, are intimately related. If I'm with a group that likes to drink a lot, I will typically pick one or two nights to go all out (usually the last night is the most fun) and the other nights I'll have one drink then off to bed.
Finally, if you think it would be easier to have a few nights with your own room, look into whether or not this is possible. If you're staying in hostels, it might not be that expensive to get a private room for 2 or 3 nights and that might make a huge difference.
posted by lunasol at 9:22 AM on March 15, 2015 [1 favorite]
I use a technique for conferences that might help you here - I look at the schedule for each day and divide things into "Things I need to do", "Things I want to do a lot", "Things I'd like to do if energy" and "Things I really don't care about much."
(For you, the 'must' would be performances, rehearsals, and making sure you eat somehow. Things you want to do a lot would be tourist sites you really want to see, etc.)
I use the last two lists to build some space in my life, and make it easier to say things like "Oh, I'm sure Place is really interesting, but I want to be in great shape for the concert tonight/tomorrow, so I'm going to take it easy this afternoon." and then go find a cafe to sit at quietly, or a place to go read or whatever else makes sense. If I'm feeling really great and the next day isn't hugely demanding, I might do the 'if I have energy' thing, but if not, I don't, and do something less demanding.
You may also find there are other people who are managing their energy carefully for whatever reasons, and if so, they can make good people to hang out with or get a quiet undemanding meal with while other people in your chorus go off and do more energetic things.
posted by modernhypatia at 9:44 AM on March 15, 2015 [3 favorites]
(For you, the 'must' would be performances, rehearsals, and making sure you eat somehow. Things you want to do a lot would be tourist sites you really want to see, etc.)
I use the last two lists to build some space in my life, and make it easier to say things like "Oh, I'm sure Place is really interesting, but I want to be in great shape for the concert tonight/tomorrow, so I'm going to take it easy this afternoon." and then go find a cafe to sit at quietly, or a place to go read or whatever else makes sense. If I'm feeling really great and the next day isn't hugely demanding, I might do the 'if I have energy' thing, but if not, I don't, and do something less demanding.
You may also find there are other people who are managing their energy carefully for whatever reasons, and if so, they can make good people to hang out with or get a quiet undemanding meal with while other people in your chorus go off and do more energetic things.
posted by modernhypatia at 9:44 AM on March 15, 2015 [3 favorites]
I've done a few holiday trips in small groups and I get this kind of crash every single time. Then I started to reclaim some me time and sat out some group stuff and started to relax and enjoy the rest of the trip.
I never feel this way when I travel alone, even if you throw in a long haul flight, time difference, a lot of driving in an unfamiliar rental on unfamiliar roads.
If I travel with colleagues I either know them well enough to not find their company too draining and will socialise after work as well as not joining dinner/breakfast or whatever.
So I'd say carve out some alone time to relax. It's perfectly ok not to take part in everything and spend some time alone!
posted by koahiatamadl at 11:19 AM on March 15, 2015 [1 favorite]
I never feel this way when I travel alone, even if you throw in a long haul flight, time difference, a lot of driving in an unfamiliar rental on unfamiliar roads.
If I travel with colleagues I either know them well enough to not find their company too draining and will socialise after work as well as not joining dinner/breakfast or whatever.
So I'd say carve out some alone time to relax. It's perfectly ok not to take part in everything and spend some time alone!
posted by koahiatamadl at 11:19 AM on March 15, 2015 [1 favorite]
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Staying hydrated is another important small thing - if I become dehydrated, I notice I'm achy and foggy. I also need sugar to keep feeling decent, so I have tea with a little sugar throughout the day - green tea, black tea, rooibos, herbal - whatever so long as it tastes nice. If it gets cold, I still drink it (iced tea!).
Big noise-isolating headphones are also a big help in making me feel like I've taken a step out of the crowd. My work is pretty noisy at times and I also take a very crowded bus to/from work - an audio book helps me zone out and ignore the colleagues, and closing my eyes on the bus helps me forget my personal space is being horribly invaded. When I'm done one book, if there's another in the series or another by the same author I keep going with that - helps me slip into another book very quickly. If you think this is an option that may work for you, start listening to the book before you go so you can get into it ahead of time, and it will be a bigger comfort to you when in the thick of things.
posted by lizbunny at 7:29 AM on March 15, 2015 [1 favorite]