Considering a job with lots of travel -- give me your pros and cons
September 30, 2014 1:01 PM Subscribe
I have been looking for a new job for quite some time, and recently something interesting popped up on my radar. It's in my field, but in a different role than I've previously worked, and would require extensive international travel on a regular basis, but with promises of lots of time off in between trips. I have a spouse and two young kids. What does the hive mind think?
I've been wanting to leave my job for quite some time -- the hours are draining (regular 70 hour weeks factoring in commute), I am micromanaged, and the work environment is relentlessly negative. The only upside is that I travel rarely and weekend work is pretty much nonexistent. The long hours mean I leave before my kids wake up in the morning and I get home in time to see them for maybe 45-60 minutes each night. I'm ready to be done with this. Unfortunately, I work in an industry where long hours are the norm, so searching for a new line of work at the moment is not a viable option, at least in the short term (commute is also non-negotiable for other reasons). I've searched for the past year for similar jobs in less crazy markets, to no avail.
However, I've unexpectedly been offered a (rare) new position in my same field, but in a very different role. It would allow me considerable personal autonomy, the person who recommended me for the job can't say enough good things about the management, and the work sounds very interesting. The downside is that it would require considerable international travel -- about 40% of the time. The travel would be broken up in chunks -- a week here, 10 days there -- with one trip each year lasting approximately 16 days. However, I've been assured that I would be free to take extensive time off between trips. The previous incumbent in this job confirmed that this was the case. For example, if I traveled from Sunday to Saturday, I could get away with taking Mon-Wed off work before returning to the office on Thursday. It's been described as a sort of perk for spending so much time in the air. Much of the travel is in Latin America (I am in North America), so jet lag won't be a huge issue. This job would be for two years.
The obvious downside seems to be the long periods away. My wife is a consultant who works from home and our kids are school-aged, so childcare is not an issue, but her burden would increase when I am away. The upside seems to be that when I am actually home, I'll have periods of unbroken time with my wife and kids -- time that I never get at my current position. My wife is on the fence as well -- the time away would be hard, but the promise of unbroken stretches together -- which we almost never get currently -- is very attractive to both of us.
If I take the new job there will be no chance of returning to the old one.
To those who have traveled a lot for work -- what do you think of this trade-off? What am I not considering.
I've been wanting to leave my job for quite some time -- the hours are draining (regular 70 hour weeks factoring in commute), I am micromanaged, and the work environment is relentlessly negative. The only upside is that I travel rarely and weekend work is pretty much nonexistent. The long hours mean I leave before my kids wake up in the morning and I get home in time to see them for maybe 45-60 minutes each night. I'm ready to be done with this. Unfortunately, I work in an industry where long hours are the norm, so searching for a new line of work at the moment is not a viable option, at least in the short term (commute is also non-negotiable for other reasons). I've searched for the past year for similar jobs in less crazy markets, to no avail.
However, I've unexpectedly been offered a (rare) new position in my same field, but in a very different role. It would allow me considerable personal autonomy, the person who recommended me for the job can't say enough good things about the management, and the work sounds very interesting. The downside is that it would require considerable international travel -- about 40% of the time. The travel would be broken up in chunks -- a week here, 10 days there -- with one trip each year lasting approximately 16 days. However, I've been assured that I would be free to take extensive time off between trips. The previous incumbent in this job confirmed that this was the case. For example, if I traveled from Sunday to Saturday, I could get away with taking Mon-Wed off work before returning to the office on Thursday. It's been described as a sort of perk for spending so much time in the air. Much of the travel is in Latin America (I am in North America), so jet lag won't be a huge issue. This job would be for two years.
The obvious downside seems to be the long periods away. My wife is a consultant who works from home and our kids are school-aged, so childcare is not an issue, but her burden would increase when I am away. The upside seems to be that when I am actually home, I'll have periods of unbroken time with my wife and kids -- time that I never get at my current position. My wife is on the fence as well -- the time away would be hard, but the promise of unbroken stretches together -- which we almost never get currently -- is very attractive to both of us.
If I take the new job there will be no chance of returning to the old one.
To those who have traveled a lot for work -- what do you think of this trade-off? What am I not considering.
Data point of one here. I have been in my position for almost ten years, and travel has always been a part of it. Somewhere in the middle there, Facetime became a viable thing, and I can tell you it had a dramatic impact on how much less burdensome travel is. It really is incredible how much it helps to be able to videochat with my wife and kids every evening when on the road - for us at least, it makes me being away a much less big deal.
Given that, I think if I were in the position you describe, I'd take the new gig.
posted by jbickers at 1:10 PM on September 30, 2014 [5 favorites]
Given that, I think if I were in the position you describe, I'd take the new gig.
posted by jbickers at 1:10 PM on September 30, 2014 [5 favorites]
Depends on your age and your love of travel.
If you do this, maximize everything. Frequent flyer miles on your personal accounts, hotel stay points, rental car points, travel expense points. Be ready to have some well made functional luggage and to have to financially float your travel expenses; keep track with five minutes to tally every day so you can submit for reimbursement quickly upon your return.
Make special time per kid, as well, on your return - Daddy days - and relief for your spouse as well, sometimes a good "me-cation" is a trade off for travel, depending on her needs / wants / interests.
As someone who supported a spouse with alternating 0% travel and 100% travel ... build some relief help into the budget. Babysitter night when you are on a long trip, laundry or food service, something.
Video chatting with dad to practice spelling or math facts or have story time helped a lot.
posted by Buttons Bellbottom at 1:18 PM on September 30, 2014 [3 favorites]
If you do this, maximize everything. Frequent flyer miles on your personal accounts, hotel stay points, rental car points, travel expense points. Be ready to have some well made functional luggage and to have to financially float your travel expenses; keep track with five minutes to tally every day so you can submit for reimbursement quickly upon your return.
Make special time per kid, as well, on your return - Daddy days - and relief for your spouse as well, sometimes a good "me-cation" is a trade off for travel, depending on her needs / wants / interests.
As someone who supported a spouse with alternating 0% travel and 100% travel ... build some relief help into the budget. Babysitter night when you are on a long trip, laundry or food service, something.
Video chatting with dad to practice spelling or math facts or have story time helped a lot.
posted by Buttons Bellbottom at 1:18 PM on September 30, 2014 [3 favorites]
That's not a shit ton of travel. And you'll be home a lot more during the weeks when you ARE home.
One thing to do is to take the burden off of the parent left home with the kiddos. So if the new job will allow you to hire a sitter, a house cleaner, some delivery and/or premade meals, so much the better.
During the summer, you can bring everyone with you on some of the longer trips.
I traveled a lot in one of my jobs and I rather enjoyed it. I didn't have kids though.
If you can be happier in your work, I think this would be a great thing for you. But you know whose opinion most matters (besides your own?) Your wife's.
If she's on-board and willing to experiment around to see how things work, I think you may both be very happy with the new gig. Plus international stuff is great for your career.
Sometimes you make sacrifices now, for large payoffs later.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 1:23 PM on September 30, 2014 [4 favorites]
One thing to do is to take the burden off of the parent left home with the kiddos. So if the new job will allow you to hire a sitter, a house cleaner, some delivery and/or premade meals, so much the better.
During the summer, you can bring everyone with you on some of the longer trips.
I traveled a lot in one of my jobs and I rather enjoyed it. I didn't have kids though.
If you can be happier in your work, I think this would be a great thing for you. But you know whose opinion most matters (besides your own?) Your wife's.
If she's on-board and willing to experiment around to see how things work, I think you may both be very happy with the new gig. Plus international stuff is great for your career.
Sometimes you make sacrifices now, for large payoffs later.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 1:23 PM on September 30, 2014 [4 favorites]
My Dad also had to travel a lot for work. At least double of what you're describing. Yes, it was hard at times, but we had a good routine and my sister and I had the very best international souvenir t-shirt collection ever. What you're being offered now sounds great and if your wife is on-board with trying it, I'd go for it. Try it for a couple of years. If it's terrible, move on.
Maybe also consider building-in some perks for your wife. Maybe a housekeeper to help with the extra stuff she'll be doing when you're gone? A standing babysitter date so that she gets a night to herself while you're away? A meal service like Blue Apron to take the sting out of dinner? There are ways to lessen the burden on her.
The people I know who travel a ton for work end up going on great family vacations that they pay for entirely with travel points earned during work travel. That's a nice perk as well.
posted by quince at 1:36 PM on September 30, 2014 [1 favorite]
Maybe also consider building-in some perks for your wife. Maybe a housekeeper to help with the extra stuff she'll be doing when you're gone? A standing babysitter date so that she gets a night to herself while you're away? A meal service like Blue Apron to take the sting out of dinner? There are ways to lessen the burden on her.
The people I know who travel a ton for work end up going on great family vacations that they pay for entirely with travel points earned during work travel. That's a nice perk as well.
posted by quince at 1:36 PM on September 30, 2014 [1 favorite]
My mom was stay-at-home until I went to school at age 5, at which point she took a job that required that she be away for 3-4 days at a time, usually during the week but sometimes the travel would bleed over to the weekend. During certain times of year these trips would happen 3-4 times a month, while at other times there would be no travel for a solid couple of months. These trips were in addition to her regular work hours; if a trip bled into the weekend, then she just got overtime and effectively lost the weekend. My dad worked full time. My mom had this job for about 2.5 years if I remember correctly, and left that job solely because she was given a better offer close to home.
In my experience, it worked out fine. My mom would make up a calendar showing what times she would be able to receive phone calls from me. It wasn't very often, and it was often late at night (I don't remember exactly what time; it may have been only an hour or two past my bedtime). I didn't mind because I got to stay up late sometimes to call her. She would also leave scavenger hunt-type games for me and my dad to play.
There were some nights when I was sad that my mom wasn't around, but overall it worked out fine, and I don't feel that it was a difficult time for the family at all. In fact, I kind of enjoyed being able to stay up in my room reading after bedtime - my mom would check on me to make sure I was actually in bed, but my dad always fell asleep before me, so I could stay awake as long as I didn't make any noise. I am an only child, FWIW.
posted by Urban Winter at 1:40 PM on September 30, 2014 [2 favorites]
In my experience, it worked out fine. My mom would make up a calendar showing what times she would be able to receive phone calls from me. It wasn't very often, and it was often late at night (I don't remember exactly what time; it may have been only an hour or two past my bedtime). I didn't mind because I got to stay up late sometimes to call her. She would also leave scavenger hunt-type games for me and my dad to play.
There were some nights when I was sad that my mom wasn't around, but overall it worked out fine, and I don't feel that it was a difficult time for the family at all. In fact, I kind of enjoyed being able to stay up in my room reading after bedtime - my mom would check on me to make sure I was actually in bed, but my dad always fell asleep before me, so I could stay awake as long as I didn't make any noise. I am an only child, FWIW.
posted by Urban Winter at 1:40 PM on September 30, 2014 [2 favorites]
I think this needs to be your wife's call. I know that it wouldn't be workable for my family. Putting myself in your wife's shoes, I'd worry that in addition to its obvious logistical burdens - being the only one to be there for the kids 40% of the time - I think it would by necessity require your wife to sort of build a different emotional infrastructure to take care of her needs 40% of the time, and I know that would be a dangerous thing for my marriage.
posted by fingersandtoes at 1:57 PM on September 30, 2014 [3 favorites]
posted by fingersandtoes at 1:57 PM on September 30, 2014 [3 favorites]
My dad traveled a lot when I was a kid and it was sad to not see my dad, but also had the perks that I always got a gift from the airport and he earned enough frequent flier points for us to occasionally take really cool vacations. Maybe not all kids are as superficially pleased as I was though :)
posted by joan_holloway at 2:01 PM on September 30, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by joan_holloway at 2:01 PM on September 30, 2014 [1 favorite]
I traveled a lot when my kids were growing (say 6 through 16) and it was fine for us all, but my wife was a full-time homemaker. Sometimes I got to take family along too, though mostly it was just me missing them. fingersandtoes is right that it should mainly be your wife's decision, but it sounds good for you and I'd hope she'd support you. Two years isn't too long ... will you have to look for a new job after that? if so I might be more cautious.
posted by anadem at 2:06 PM on September 30, 2014
posted by anadem at 2:06 PM on September 30, 2014
I travel 40-60% of the time for work, including internationally.
One thing to consider is that the perk of having Mon-Wed off won't seem that way so much when you're really tired from traveling internationally and just need a day or two to recover. So you might have more time with your wife and kids (and if your wife is working from home, she's still working, how much time can you spend with her other than being in the same house?) but is it really going to be quality time? Are there going to be a bunch of "chores" and errands and husband/wife/kid discussions that normally you get done during the week? (Also, in the example you described, you really only got 1 extra day off if you assume have two days off for a normal work week, because you could say you're "owed" the Sunday before and the Saturday you returned. But I realize that may be just a hypothetical you threw out there.) Is it worth it to trade seeing your kids for 45 minutes every day for not seeing them for a whole week? Especially since you say you have weekends off?
Another thing is the day before you travel also gets screwed up, because you're thinking about the trip, you may need to pack, you may have to go to bed early, you may have to run various errands, you may be trying to cram in everything you want to do before you're gone.
Third, A) you will be placing an incredible burden on your wife, who also has a job. And that's just logistical, not emotional. You will not be there to share the responsibility and not only will this stress her out, this could cause some serious resentment about bearing an unequal share of the load for your career.
Then there's the extra stress of your absence on your marriage as a relationship, for both of you, but it will affect her the most because she has everything else to deal with - you have a bad day at work, you go to your hotel, eat (a meal someone else prepared), complain to her over skype, read for awhile. She won't be able to do that. Or your child is in trouble at school, and all you'll be able to do is talk it over with her - that'll be stressful on both of you for different reasons.
I say this as the spouse that travels with an incredibly supportive husband, and we don't even have kids. Everything could be fine, but the potential is there. Look at it this way - if she works from home, you may be her major source of contact with the outside world that isn't a child - will she have negative feelings about you getting to experience international destinations while she gets to... be at home, both working from home and doing all the work FOR home? Never underestimate the pressures and stresses this can put on a marriage. Because most of the people with whom I work also travel, I get to observe that the number one stress about it is the strain it puts on relationships.
Third, B) Be honest with yourself about this opportunity - is it an opportunity for you beyond what you've described, i.e. maybe experience cool places, or the chance to "escape" and get to concentrate on a cool job while someone else gets the bulk of the responsibility while you're gone? You mention, for example, that the 70 hours includes a commute. . .have you considered moving closer? Have you looked for other opportunities elsewhere? You're obviously hire-able.
This isn't a judgement at all - one of the reasons why I love to travel for my job is that I absolutely crave that kind of lifestyle, and I have a spouse that's supportive of that, but only because we've worked out a way for us to both be happy (he comes along on a lot of trips, for example). Once we have kids, I'll have to give it up, but I know personally it will be tough to do and I'll selfishly long for those "good ol' days." If there's any part of you that wants to do this other than the reasons you describe, it's good to know this because you need to be able to communicate openly with your wife to make this work.
You're going to be lonely. You're going to miss your family. You can fill that void with work. You can fill that void with other things, too - there's a reason why hotel bars are popular with business men traveling. You can fill that void with face time with your kids and wife. You can fill that void with t.v. I suggest either work or a hobby around ROUTINE face time, something you can do on a plane and sitting in the airport.
Okay, after you've considered all that - and I'm going to say it again, make sure your relationship with your wife is solid (I know nothing about you, your wife, or what work either of you do, but I do see your previous MeFi question) - this does sound like a much better opportunity than where you are working now, and if you think that it will work, go for it. You may really love it. But in the back of your mind, have a back-up plan, don't hesitate to say it's not working, and don't place yourself in a box of "well, it's not working, but I only need to stick it out x more months." Be more flexible than that. Don't place self-limits on your choices. And above all, this has to be okay with your wife.
posted by barchan at 2:12 PM on September 30, 2014 [8 favorites]
One thing to consider is that the perk of having Mon-Wed off won't seem that way so much when you're really tired from traveling internationally and just need a day or two to recover. So you might have more time with your wife and kids (and if your wife is working from home, she's still working, how much time can you spend with her other than being in the same house?) but is it really going to be quality time? Are there going to be a bunch of "chores" and errands and husband/wife/kid discussions that normally you get done during the week? (Also, in the example you described, you really only got 1 extra day off if you assume have two days off for a normal work week, because you could say you're "owed" the Sunday before and the Saturday you returned. But I realize that may be just a hypothetical you threw out there.) Is it worth it to trade seeing your kids for 45 minutes every day for not seeing them for a whole week? Especially since you say you have weekends off?
Another thing is the day before you travel also gets screwed up, because you're thinking about the trip, you may need to pack, you may have to go to bed early, you may have to run various errands, you may be trying to cram in everything you want to do before you're gone.
Third, A) you will be placing an incredible burden on your wife, who also has a job. And that's just logistical, not emotional. You will not be there to share the responsibility and not only will this stress her out, this could cause some serious resentment about bearing an unequal share of the load for your career.
Then there's the extra stress of your absence on your marriage as a relationship, for both of you, but it will affect her the most because she has everything else to deal with - you have a bad day at work, you go to your hotel, eat (a meal someone else prepared), complain to her over skype, read for awhile. She won't be able to do that. Or your child is in trouble at school, and all you'll be able to do is talk it over with her - that'll be stressful on both of you for different reasons.
I say this as the spouse that travels with an incredibly supportive husband, and we don't even have kids. Everything could be fine, but the potential is there. Look at it this way - if she works from home, you may be her major source of contact with the outside world that isn't a child - will she have negative feelings about you getting to experience international destinations while she gets to... be at home, both working from home and doing all the work FOR home? Never underestimate the pressures and stresses this can put on a marriage. Because most of the people with whom I work also travel, I get to observe that the number one stress about it is the strain it puts on relationships.
Third, B) Be honest with yourself about this opportunity - is it an opportunity for you beyond what you've described, i.e. maybe experience cool places, or the chance to "escape" and get to concentrate on a cool job while someone else gets the bulk of the responsibility while you're gone? You mention, for example, that the 70 hours includes a commute. . .have you considered moving closer? Have you looked for other opportunities elsewhere? You're obviously hire-able.
This isn't a judgement at all - one of the reasons why I love to travel for my job is that I absolutely crave that kind of lifestyle, and I have a spouse that's supportive of that, but only because we've worked out a way for us to both be happy (he comes along on a lot of trips, for example). Once we have kids, I'll have to give it up, but I know personally it will be tough to do and I'll selfishly long for those "good ol' days." If there's any part of you that wants to do this other than the reasons you describe, it's good to know this because you need to be able to communicate openly with your wife to make this work.
You're going to be lonely. You're going to miss your family. You can fill that void with work. You can fill that void with other things, too - there's a reason why hotel bars are popular with business men traveling. You can fill that void with face time with your kids and wife. You can fill that void with t.v. I suggest either work or a hobby around ROUTINE face time, something you can do on a plane and sitting in the airport.
Okay, after you've considered all that - and I'm going to say it again, make sure your relationship with your wife is solid (I know nothing about you, your wife, or what work either of you do, but I do see your previous MeFi question) - this does sound like a much better opportunity than where you are working now, and if you think that it will work, go for it. You may really love it. But in the back of your mind, have a back-up plan, don't hesitate to say it's not working, and don't place yourself in a box of "well, it's not working, but I only need to stick it out x more months." Be more flexible than that. Don't place self-limits on your choices. And above all, this has to be okay with your wife.
posted by barchan at 2:12 PM on September 30, 2014 [8 favorites]
I’ve been on a travel assignment for close to 18 months now. I can’t speak to the family aspects, since I’m single with no kids and my travel is a little different than what you would be doing – I travel every week to the same city. I think lots of people have given you good advice on the wife and family front, but how is all this travel going to impact you? If you end up not liking the actual travel, that’s going to impact your family too. The things that I would consider are:
-How do you like flying? I’m able to always take direct flights of around 2.5 hours, but that still translates to almost 7 hours of travel each time I fly, and I find those days totally exhausting. Are you going to end up tired and grouchy on the first day you are home from each trip?
-How do you feel about living in hotels? And what kind of hotels will you be staying in? Short term it always seems relaxing to stay in a hotel, but it can get to be a grind living out of a suitcase in one room. Also, are you going to be able to spend time away from the hotel in the evenings? It can be a real effort to not just collapse on the bed in front of the TV and order room service every night.
-It took less than 2 weeks for me to go from loving eating out for every meal to hating it. And some of my colleagues that travel with me have put on considerable weight in the past 18 months from all the eating out.
-What are the expectations of working hours when you are traveling? It is sort of assumed at my company that when we are traveling we really don’t have anything else to be doing, so we should be putting in long hours. This can be tough when you want to make time to video chat with the family, eat a decent dinner and work-out/relax.
-How flexible is the scheduling of your trips? Are you going to end up locked into a trip that is going to create a conflict with your family?
Knowing what I know now, I still would have accepted this assignment, but I wish I had a better idea going in how hard it was going to be on me. All I really thought about before saying yes was the extra money and the advancement opportunities and not that much about what the day to day would be like, so I would say to really spend some time thinking about that.
posted by Sabby at 2:17 PM on September 30, 2014 [3 favorites]
-How do you like flying? I’m able to always take direct flights of around 2.5 hours, but that still translates to almost 7 hours of travel each time I fly, and I find those days totally exhausting. Are you going to end up tired and grouchy on the first day you are home from each trip?
-How do you feel about living in hotels? And what kind of hotels will you be staying in? Short term it always seems relaxing to stay in a hotel, but it can get to be a grind living out of a suitcase in one room. Also, are you going to be able to spend time away from the hotel in the evenings? It can be a real effort to not just collapse on the bed in front of the TV and order room service every night.
-It took less than 2 weeks for me to go from loving eating out for every meal to hating it. And some of my colleagues that travel with me have put on considerable weight in the past 18 months from all the eating out.
-What are the expectations of working hours when you are traveling? It is sort of assumed at my company that when we are traveling we really don’t have anything else to be doing, so we should be putting in long hours. This can be tough when you want to make time to video chat with the family, eat a decent dinner and work-out/relax.
-How flexible is the scheduling of your trips? Are you going to end up locked into a trip that is going to create a conflict with your family?
Knowing what I know now, I still would have accepted this assignment, but I wish I had a better idea going in how hard it was going to be on me. All I really thought about before saying yes was the extra money and the advancement opportunities and not that much about what the day to day would be like, so I would say to really spend some time thinking about that.
posted by Sabby at 2:17 PM on September 30, 2014 [3 favorites]
Oh, I'm sorry - I meant to delete "looking for other opportunities elsewhere" (because you obviously are).
posted by barchan at 2:24 PM on September 30, 2014
posted by barchan at 2:24 PM on September 30, 2014
I've been assured that I would be free to take extensive time off between trips. The previous incumbent in this job confirmed that this was the case.
This is the sort of thing that I would deh-heh-hefinitely want in writing as an official benefit, rather than relying on "confirmation" from the current person holding the job.
posted by threeants at 2:49 PM on September 30, 2014 [2 favorites]
This is the sort of thing that I would deh-heh-hefinitely want in writing as an official benefit, rather than relying on "confirmation" from the current person holding the job.
posted by threeants at 2:49 PM on September 30, 2014 [2 favorites]
It actually sounds like an interesting opportunity but I wanted to provide you with one additional data point. I work in sleep medicine and I see a fair amount of patients who have significant sleep issues due to the amount of traveling they do between time zones. Sleep aids are not uncommonly used and aren't without side effects. Some of them have significant issues with daytime somnolence during the day as well.
posted by teamnap at 2:53 PM on September 30, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by teamnap at 2:53 PM on September 30, 2014 [1 favorite]
I've been the international traveler and I'm currently the one who stays home with our son, working full-time, while my husband travels. Being the one who stays home is much harder. As others have said, make sure that your wife gets a lot of help while you're gone. And when you come home, even though you will want to collapse and be off-duty, you can't be. You have to give your kids and your wife a lot of attention and affection and you have to give your wife a serious break from child care. So, it'll be hard.
But your current job sounds miserable. And this offers growth and new opportunities. If you ultimately decide it's not for you, in two years you'll have more skills and experience to offer the next employer. If you don't take it, in two years you'll be that much unhappier with not much more to show for it.
Make sure you get enough $$$ in the new job to cover lawn care service, a housecleaning service, and a couple of babysitters for when you're gone.
posted by Kangaroo at 3:13 PM on September 30, 2014 [1 favorite]
But your current job sounds miserable. And this offers growth and new opportunities. If you ultimately decide it's not for you, in two years you'll have more skills and experience to offer the next employer. If you don't take it, in two years you'll be that much unhappier with not much more to show for it.
Make sure you get enough $$$ in the new job to cover lawn care service, a housecleaning service, and a couple of babysitters for when you're gone.
posted by Kangaroo at 3:13 PM on September 30, 2014 [1 favorite]
I spent 6 YEARS traveling 90%, territory: North America. This roughly translated to me being not home 6 days a week and if I was lucky (10%) I wouldn't have to get on an airplane and just rent a car or take a train.
Pros: saw the 48 US states, a good portion of Canada and Mexico. Lots of good travel stories. Have become everyone's best friend in the airport security line, very very well read, zillions of frequent flier miles and hotel rewards, invaluable work experience.
Cons: I did this crazy stuff in my twenties when I had NO ties. Now this probably would result in some sort of meltdown about not having a stable (read: regular schedule) life, relationships suffered big time, having a home is kind of ridiculous when you're on the road that much, little annoyances become amplified, any healthy sense of reliance on others is pretty much shattered (you + suitcase handle everything yourself), etc.
Big con: yeah, whatever bit about time off kind of became a running joke. It didn't happen, and lord help me if I was majorly ill.
Now I travel 30% which looks like a few weeks a year plus one week to a conference yearly! all in the US. Make sure they write vacation time into your contract. Good luck!
posted by floweredfish at 3:14 PM on September 30, 2014 [1 favorite]
Pros: saw the 48 US states, a good portion of Canada and Mexico. Lots of good travel stories. Have become everyone's best friend in the airport security line, very very well read, zillions of frequent flier miles and hotel rewards, invaluable work experience.
Cons: I did this crazy stuff in my twenties when I had NO ties. Now this probably would result in some sort of meltdown about not having a stable (read: regular schedule) life, relationships suffered big time, having a home is kind of ridiculous when you're on the road that much, little annoyances become amplified, any healthy sense of reliance on others is pretty much shattered (you + suitcase handle everything yourself), etc.
Big con: yeah, whatever bit about time off kind of became a running joke. It didn't happen, and lord help me if I was majorly ill.
Now I travel 30% which looks like a few weeks a year plus one week to a conference yearly! all in the US. Make sure they write vacation time into your contract. Good luck!
posted by floweredfish at 3:14 PM on September 30, 2014 [1 favorite]
I was doing a fair bit of business travel and while barchan's point above about losing the day before you travel was true for me when I first started, once I got a good hang of the routine and all the right gear (eg two sets of chargers and toiletries so one is always packed), going to the airport was not more of an issue than going to work any other day. In fact, I took a plane to work more often than I drove. I am single though, but this also meant I couldn't rely on anyone else to sort out anything while I was away - see my question on routines to keep the home fires burning. Some great suggestions, eg getting laundry done at the hotel so you get home with clean clothes (honestly, I would sometimes pack dirty clothes when I didn't want to take up the day before travel with chores and get it done on arrival).
I'd take the job, if you can make this work for your wife.
posted by AnnaRat at 3:22 PM on September 30, 2014
I'd take the job, if you can make this work for your wife.
posted by AnnaRat at 3:22 PM on September 30, 2014
Does this company do travel right? Business class air, decent hotels, car services, ok per diems? BA, SP and RJ are 10 hour overnight flights, plus whatever travel you need from where you are to the gateway city, and are on the way to be operating in aircraft modified to excruciatingly tightly spaced economy sections. (For example, AA is moving its economy sections to 10-abreast, 31" seat pitch 777s, when they used to be 9-abreast.) You could easily spend 18 hours from home to hotel, and hotel to home, if you live in the midwest.
posted by MattD at 4:17 PM on September 30, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by MattD at 4:17 PM on September 30, 2014 [2 favorites]
If your wife works from home and you'll mostly be traveling to the same time zones, could she and the kids travel with you when they aren't in school? Think about the value you would be giving your kids by exposing them to other cultures, countries and lifestyles. After a few months of travel it's possible you'll have enough miles to pay for her ticket and maybe the kids' too. Assuming your company pays for you hotel and maybe gives you a per diem, you're set.
My husband travels internationally a lot for work. I also work from home and travel with him every chance I get. We don't have kids though. But I am firmly on the "yes" side of travel, especially if you can get someone else to pay for it.
posted by Brittanie at 4:38 PM on September 30, 2014
My husband travels internationally a lot for work. I also work from home and travel with him every chance I get. We don't have kids though. But I am firmly on the "yes" side of travel, especially if you can get someone else to pay for it.
posted by Brittanie at 4:38 PM on September 30, 2014
My dad travelled so much for work he essentially lived elsewhere 80-90% of the time for a couple years while I was growing up. It didn't really affect me but it was hell on my mother who had to parent AND work all the time without a break. They had no choice, it was either he take the job or they lose their house, so it was felt to be a team effort and joint sacrafice (he would never have choosen to be away from us willingly). This is not the case here and you have the luxury to choose what works best for the whole family.
What you are describing is you having a bunch of responsibility-free mini-vacations that improve your life/career and massively negatively impact your wife's life (and your children's lives). If you are gone sat-sun (8 days), being home Mon-Wed is not really a fair compensation, especially if during that time your children will be in school and your wife working so you essentially get more "me alone time". This way breeds resentment.
Would the new position allow your wife to drop her current level of income-producing work and hire help to replace what you will no longer be able to do? Can she ramp up her social life so she won't feel so isolated? How will that work with childcare and will she feel guilty about using childcare so much more? Does this mean she can't do some things in her career because she knows you will be unable to provide the logistical support? Are all the periods together going to be on YOUR schedule or will she be able to say, "ok, you are away sat-sun for eight days, don't take the next three days off, instead take the Thursday off and then Tuesday of the following week and Friday on the 6th so we can spend time together then when it fits in my schedule"?
From here, all the pros are in your column and all the cons are in her (and the kids) column. You need to move some cons over to affect you and put a lot of pros in her column. A good test is to imagine the roles reversed; if your wife was offered this opportunity what would you need to change about your lives to make this work?
I did a lot of travelling for work for a while - and I loved it as it was very intellectually stimulating and a great leadership role - but it was a huge amount of work for me (as primary caregiver of my children they came with me 75% of the time) and my parents (who looked after the children when I could not bring them). Taking kids on business trips generally sucks for them, there is nowhere enough time to do anything fun with them, I was constantly torn between looking after them and work (ducking out of meetings, leaving earlier than the men that didn't have children, etc), spent a tonne of money to compensate for what I wasn't present for in their lives, and I worked in a VERY pro-family environment. I was completely exhausted, constantly. I look forward to picking up that job, when I no longer have young children who will be so negatively impacted.
posted by saucysault at 4:54 PM on September 30, 2014 [3 favorites]
What you are describing is you having a bunch of responsibility-free mini-vacations that improve your life/career and massively negatively impact your wife's life (and your children's lives). If you are gone sat-sun (8 days), being home Mon-Wed is not really a fair compensation, especially if during that time your children will be in school and your wife working so you essentially get more "me alone time". This way breeds resentment.
Would the new position allow your wife to drop her current level of income-producing work and hire help to replace what you will no longer be able to do? Can she ramp up her social life so she won't feel so isolated? How will that work with childcare and will she feel guilty about using childcare so much more? Does this mean she can't do some things in her career because she knows you will be unable to provide the logistical support? Are all the periods together going to be on YOUR schedule or will she be able to say, "ok, you are away sat-sun for eight days, don't take the next three days off, instead take the Thursday off and then Tuesday of the following week and Friday on the 6th so we can spend time together then when it fits in my schedule"?
From here, all the pros are in your column and all the cons are in her (and the kids) column. You need to move some cons over to affect you and put a lot of pros in her column. A good test is to imagine the roles reversed; if your wife was offered this opportunity what would you need to change about your lives to make this work?
I did a lot of travelling for work for a while - and I loved it as it was very intellectually stimulating and a great leadership role - but it was a huge amount of work for me (as primary caregiver of my children they came with me 75% of the time) and my parents (who looked after the children when I could not bring them). Taking kids on business trips generally sucks for them, there is nowhere enough time to do anything fun with them, I was constantly torn between looking after them and work (ducking out of meetings, leaving earlier than the men that didn't have children, etc), spent a tonne of money to compensate for what I wasn't present for in their lives, and I worked in a VERY pro-family environment. I was completely exhausted, constantly. I look forward to picking up that job, when I no longer have young children who will be so negatively impacted.
posted by saucysault at 4:54 PM on September 30, 2014 [3 favorites]
It sounds like, as it is, you'd actually end up with more time with your kids overall. It also sounds like your wife must be doing most of the weekday child care already. A few people suggested a housekeeper. I think, if the new job affords it, a nanny would be a better idea. Since your wife works from home, maybe this seems like an odd idea, but I think it would be especially helpful in these circumstances - the nanny keeps the kids out of your wife's hair while she works, and also takes over some of the cooking and cleaning.
Otherwise, this sounds like a great opportunity, as long as your wife is on board. With Skype or FaceTime you can still have interaction with your family every day, more quality time on days off, and there is a limited timeframe. Go for it!
posted by catatethebird at 5:48 PM on September 30, 2014 [1 favorite]
Otherwise, this sounds like a great opportunity, as long as your wife is on board. With Skype or FaceTime you can still have interaction with your family every day, more quality time on days off, and there is a limited timeframe. Go for it!
posted by catatethebird at 5:48 PM on September 30, 2014 [1 favorite]
As someone who has travelled quite a bit for work, I feel it is something of a two-edged sword:
Pros:
You get to visit lots of places you wouldn't normally visit, with someone else paying.
This sort of thing looks good on your C.V.
Cons:
You get to travel where and when someone else demands.
The process of getting from A to B is generally either stressful or boring, rarely any sort of fun.
For me, although I love visiting new places, seeing the sights, eating new foods etc, it got old surprisingly fast.
posted by HiroProtagonist at 5:49 PM on September 30, 2014
Pros:
You get to visit lots of places you wouldn't normally visit, with someone else paying.
This sort of thing looks good on your C.V.
Cons:
You get to travel where and when someone else demands.
The process of getting from A to B is generally either stressful or boring, rarely any sort of fun.
For me, although I love visiting new places, seeing the sights, eating new foods etc, it got old surprisingly fast.
posted by HiroProtagonist at 5:49 PM on September 30, 2014
I can't favorite Sabby's traveling experience comment - especially eating out, MattD's "do travel right," and saucysault's comment about the pros/cons column and scheduling enough. Those are all great points - the more control you have over scheduling and travel options, the happier you and your family will be, too.
AnnaRat, I'm glad I'm not the only one guilty of taking dirty clothes with me on a trip and giving them to the hotel to clean.
posted by barchan at 6:00 PM on September 30, 2014
AnnaRat, I'm glad I'm not the only one guilty of taking dirty clothes with me on a trip and giving them to the hotel to clean.
posted by barchan at 6:00 PM on September 30, 2014
One more thing to consider is, how flexible are your travel dates? If the answer is "not very", then you should also weigh the likelihood of missed birthdays, anniversaries and family holidays. 40% travel is do-able IMHO, if it's on your own terms, and the end-date and subsequent pay-offs are clear. However, if travel dates are completely up to your company's whims, and the eventual promotion timeline is fuzzy, then personally, I would say no.
posted by tinymegalo at 6:37 PM on September 30, 2014
posted by tinymegalo at 6:37 PM on September 30, 2014
Consider what it will do for your kids though - my Dad traveled about 50% when I was growing up, and has visited most countries in Africa. We grew up in Kenya, so places he went to weren't as different as going from the US to Latin America, but even so his stories about places other than where I grew up were fascinating for my brother and I growing up, and instilled in us an appreciation for different cultures and ways of life, food etc. Even if you can't take your kids with you (and certainly try), you can still give them a richer perspective of the world than you might otherwise be able to do
posted by darsh at 6:47 PM on September 30, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by darsh at 6:47 PM on September 30, 2014 [1 favorite]
My husband is gone Mo-Th for about 40 weeks per year. We have a 6-old boy. Occasionally he is home for a week or even two in a row, and then gone again.
While your travel pattern as you describe it would be different and more irregular, I think there are enough similarities to share experience.
What it means for me is I have to basically arrange our everyday life as if I were a single parent. And in addition deal with our son's reactions to the absences. You say your children are school age - even while child care may not be a problem their emotional lives wil be affected. Not necessarily badly (interesting reports above on how people experienced their parent being away for work). But it is a factor to be aware of and she will have to deal with it alone.
What I am trying to say is it will heavily impact your wife's life. It does not need to be a diseaster at all, it works quite well for us in fact on the whole, but it is drain on the parent remaining behind.
One of the reasons it works well for us is because my husband has quite a lot of control over the dates he will be absent. So he can actually schedule around dates which will be important to either our son (presentations at kindergarten, plays, his birthday) or to me (I work flexible hours most of the time but not always, sometimes I do evenings or early morning).
So I would look into that: how much control will you have over when you go and for how long a stretch?
And when you are not travelling and not staying home in exchange for travel, will you need to work from a local office? Or from home? From what you wrote I was not sure but if you actually were to travel Sunday to Saturday and then home Mo-We and then off again Thursday, this is not much compensation in my mind. As others have pointed out depending on where you live and where you go to you can easily spend hours and hours in travel.
Look at travel times door to door rather than flight time form city A to city B. If you need to travel on to remote sites this will not only extend travel time but can jeopardise your return flight.
since we had the child my husband commutes just to a neighbor country, to avoid being trapped by missed connections due to remote sites. His company arranges every detail of the trips, door to door and he is paid door to door.
Do consider who arranges the travel, if will you need to do it it will take up your time and nerves.
Consider reimbursement etc, my husband is meticoulos with that (has to be) but it does take time, and his taxes also take more time than for other people (but then that may be local tax law).
One area where his job has seriously affected our live choces is that we need to remain in a city with an international airport in order to keep travel times reasonable. We would prefer to live a less urban life and move into the country but this would easily add 4 hours to the commute each way and so is just not feasable.
posted by 15L06 at 1:29 AM on October 1, 2014 [2 favorites]
While your travel pattern as you describe it would be different and more irregular, I think there are enough similarities to share experience.
What it means for me is I have to basically arrange our everyday life as if I were a single parent. And in addition deal with our son's reactions to the absences. You say your children are school age - even while child care may not be a problem their emotional lives wil be affected. Not necessarily badly (interesting reports above on how people experienced their parent being away for work). But it is a factor to be aware of and she will have to deal with it alone.
What I am trying to say is it will heavily impact your wife's life. It does not need to be a diseaster at all, it works quite well for us in fact on the whole, but it is drain on the parent remaining behind.
One of the reasons it works well for us is because my husband has quite a lot of control over the dates he will be absent. So he can actually schedule around dates which will be important to either our son (presentations at kindergarten, plays, his birthday) or to me (I work flexible hours most of the time but not always, sometimes I do evenings or early morning).
So I would look into that: how much control will you have over when you go and for how long a stretch?
And when you are not travelling and not staying home in exchange for travel, will you need to work from a local office? Or from home? From what you wrote I was not sure but if you actually were to travel Sunday to Saturday and then home Mo-We and then off again Thursday, this is not much compensation in my mind. As others have pointed out depending on where you live and where you go to you can easily spend hours and hours in travel.
Look at travel times door to door rather than flight time form city A to city B. If you need to travel on to remote sites this will not only extend travel time but can jeopardise your return flight.
since we had the child my husband commutes just to a neighbor country, to avoid being trapped by missed connections due to remote sites. His company arranges every detail of the trips, door to door and he is paid door to door.
Do consider who arranges the travel, if will you need to do it it will take up your time and nerves.
Consider reimbursement etc, my husband is meticoulos with that (has to be) but it does take time, and his taxes also take more time than for other people (but then that may be local tax law).
One area where his job has seriously affected our live choces is that we need to remain in a city with an international airport in order to keep travel times reasonable. We would prefer to live a less urban life and move into the country but this would easily add 4 hours to the commute each way and so is just not feasable.
posted by 15L06 at 1:29 AM on October 1, 2014 [2 favorites]
Hey, I have done a job with frequent travel to Latin America. I loved it and was shacked up without kids. It wasn't really a problem. The thing about time off......the follow up and catch up from a long trip can be killer and need to be done in a timely manner. The time off sounds great but is it really realistic? Can you get everything done after a trip and really relax with the family?
posted by Che boludo! at 5:33 AM on October 1, 2014
posted by Che boludo! at 5:33 AM on October 1, 2014
This thread is closed to new comments.
It was really, truly terrible, for everyone. I remember missing my Dad all the time and (at ~7 years old) not really understanding why he had to keep leaving. My Mom was completely overworked while he was gone. It is still remembered in my family as a regretful thing that was worth it because of what that year led to, but a really terrible year for everyone. He has traveled a total of 2 weeks for work in the 20+ years since, and I don't think that's an accident.
posted by brainmouse at 1:09 PM on September 30, 2014