To Quit My Job and Move to Montana in October or Winter in Chicago?
September 26, 2014 2:59 PM Subscribe
Mr. fancydancing and I are toying around with the idea of moving to Montana. I'm not super happy in my job now and both of us want to get out of the Chicagoland sprawl. But fear is holding me back. Why? And what kind of jobs can I apply for that are more in alignment with my interests and values?
New member posting my first question here. I apologize in advance for this long question.
Nearly three years ago, soon-to-be mr. fancydancing was diagnosed with leukemia. He went through a bone marrow transplant and he's doing well. We're happy and feeling more and more freedom away from the hospital. He still has check ups, but they're only once every three or four months.
The cancer thing was a shakeup. I was working at that time, which was a great help in distracting me and giving me a break from worrying. But I promised myself that when we got out of the uncertainty, that I would really start to live life the way I wanted to and to be happy because I didn't like my job at the time and wanted more money. So I got a new job that pays more money. I also thought that it was going to be the answer I'd been looking for in regards to making me happier in my career.
But in reality it's a continuation of the same duties from my last job that I don't like. I work in the nonprofit sector in fundraising. I had my previous job as a Development Assistant for two and a half years. I made lots of friends and had a good time but didn't feel that I was respected in my work, I wanted more money, and had problems with one of my bosses. So I got a new job that pays more has a Coordinator title. My new job is split between annual fund, major giving, special events and stewardship. It's a lot. On top of that, I feel like my supervisor is super stressed and passes that onto me. She becomes short and snappy, doesn't say "thank you" and even when there's no problem in my projects, doesn't trust me and will say things like "it's your responsibility, so you need to do it and you need to do it with whatever it takes." I feel like she doesn't trust me because the first two appeals I sent out have brought in only half the amount of money that the first two did last year, even though I sent everything on time, without a hitch, and with praise on my writing from my supervisor. I've been at this job for a little over four months. For some reason I can't shake the feeling that I'm going to be fired at some point.
So I'm confused. I know I don't like special events and I don't like the brisk blaming tone of my supervisor. And the nonprofit industry in general (well, the experiences I've had) make me think that this is a bigger problem that might stay with nonprofits or even the for profit working wolrd in general. Is it unavoidable?
On the positive side, I like the challenge of writing annual fund letters and I like doing the creative design work for invitations, brochures, and other marketing material.
So I'm torn between quitting and not quitting. Mr. fancydancing wants to do a two-week honeymoon trip in mid to late October as a pre-assessment of which city in Montana we like more. That would most likely involve me quitting. If I didn't quit right away, I'd continue working over the winter and look at my job prospects in Montana and apply to places. This would mean making a full move at the start of spring.
I have $7,000 saved now and we're currently living with mr. fancydancing's mom so we don't pay rent. Mr. fancydancing has an income of $700 monthly (he's on disability). We'd plan on renting a studio apartment in Missoula or Bozeman. I'd like to try to keep living expenses down to $1,000 total each month.
As far as work goes, I'm not sure if I want to remain in the nonprofit sector, and I have been thinking about going back to school and getting a M.A. in Literature or Environmental Studies or Social Work. I like helping people and solving problems. I should mention that I currently have a B.A. in English Lit., concentration American literature.
If we moved out to Montana, I'd look for all and any type of work immediately and sign up for temp. agencies. I'd network through volunteering with causes I'm interested in, which include the environment, literacy, mental health, and cultural studies. I'm very much into Native American literature and the culture post-colonialism.
Why do I want to move out there? I'm pretty much in love with mountains and being surrounded by nature. I'd love to be able to see the arm of the Milky Way and hear the quiet stillness. I yearn for a slower-paced life where people treat each other with respect for themselves, their neighbors, and their environment. I know that I'll miss my friends from my last job, but Chicago is really grating on us and I want mr. fancydancing to be happy, too, and for him, that's a return to nature.
So why do I feel all of this fear about quitting and not quitting and moving and not moving? It feels like I'm setting myself up for a lose-lose, a Catch 22. My ideal working environment is one where people are treated with respect, I can take my slower time on projects to ensure accuracy, and a mentor relationship with my supervisor.
With all of this said above, too, what career options/choices do you all recommend?
Any and all advice is appreciated! Thank you!
New member posting my first question here. I apologize in advance for this long question.
Nearly three years ago, soon-to-be mr. fancydancing was diagnosed with leukemia. He went through a bone marrow transplant and he's doing well. We're happy and feeling more and more freedom away from the hospital. He still has check ups, but they're only once every three or four months.
The cancer thing was a shakeup. I was working at that time, which was a great help in distracting me and giving me a break from worrying. But I promised myself that when we got out of the uncertainty, that I would really start to live life the way I wanted to and to be happy because I didn't like my job at the time and wanted more money. So I got a new job that pays more money. I also thought that it was going to be the answer I'd been looking for in regards to making me happier in my career.
But in reality it's a continuation of the same duties from my last job that I don't like. I work in the nonprofit sector in fundraising. I had my previous job as a Development Assistant for two and a half years. I made lots of friends and had a good time but didn't feel that I was respected in my work, I wanted more money, and had problems with one of my bosses. So I got a new job that pays more has a Coordinator title. My new job is split between annual fund, major giving, special events and stewardship. It's a lot. On top of that, I feel like my supervisor is super stressed and passes that onto me. She becomes short and snappy, doesn't say "thank you" and even when there's no problem in my projects, doesn't trust me and will say things like "it's your responsibility, so you need to do it and you need to do it with whatever it takes." I feel like she doesn't trust me because the first two appeals I sent out have brought in only half the amount of money that the first two did last year, even though I sent everything on time, without a hitch, and with praise on my writing from my supervisor. I've been at this job for a little over four months. For some reason I can't shake the feeling that I'm going to be fired at some point.
So I'm confused. I know I don't like special events and I don't like the brisk blaming tone of my supervisor. And the nonprofit industry in general (well, the experiences I've had) make me think that this is a bigger problem that might stay with nonprofits or even the for profit working wolrd in general. Is it unavoidable?
On the positive side, I like the challenge of writing annual fund letters and I like doing the creative design work for invitations, brochures, and other marketing material.
So I'm torn between quitting and not quitting. Mr. fancydancing wants to do a two-week honeymoon trip in mid to late October as a pre-assessment of which city in Montana we like more. That would most likely involve me quitting. If I didn't quit right away, I'd continue working over the winter and look at my job prospects in Montana and apply to places. This would mean making a full move at the start of spring.
I have $7,000 saved now and we're currently living with mr. fancydancing's mom so we don't pay rent. Mr. fancydancing has an income of $700 monthly (he's on disability). We'd plan on renting a studio apartment in Missoula or Bozeman. I'd like to try to keep living expenses down to $1,000 total each month.
As far as work goes, I'm not sure if I want to remain in the nonprofit sector, and I have been thinking about going back to school and getting a M.A. in Literature or Environmental Studies or Social Work. I like helping people and solving problems. I should mention that I currently have a B.A. in English Lit., concentration American literature.
If we moved out to Montana, I'd look for all and any type of work immediately and sign up for temp. agencies. I'd network through volunteering with causes I'm interested in, which include the environment, literacy, mental health, and cultural studies. I'm very much into Native American literature and the culture post-colonialism.
Why do I want to move out there? I'm pretty much in love with mountains and being surrounded by nature. I'd love to be able to see the arm of the Milky Way and hear the quiet stillness. I yearn for a slower-paced life where people treat each other with respect for themselves, their neighbors, and their environment. I know that I'll miss my friends from my last job, but Chicago is really grating on us and I want mr. fancydancing to be happy, too, and for him, that's a return to nature.
So why do I feel all of this fear about quitting and not quitting and moving and not moving? It feels like I'm setting myself up for a lose-lose, a Catch 22. My ideal working environment is one where people are treated with respect, I can take my slower time on projects to ensure accuracy, and a mentor relationship with my supervisor.
With all of this said above, too, what career options/choices do you all recommend?
Any and all advice is appreciated! Thank you!
Wow. I am also a development coordinator second-guessing herself about her job and I'm always dreaming about moving. I get the impression that you could really do with a change of scenery, but perhaps not as dramatic as moving from Chicago to Montana.
From what you wrote, it sounds like a lot of your stress comes from your boss being a dick. Do you think you would still be in non-profit development if you had a dream boss? Someone who gives you both praise and constructive criticism, who anticipates asking for your option, and hopes to become your friend?
I suspect the workplace culture of your current job isn't a good fit for you. I hate to say it, but a lot of non-profit workplaces are understaffed and employees are often coming and going. Mentors might leave. Generally I've found that a lot of flexibility is necessary, but respect from your co-workers is common. Maybe you can find a more organized non-profit to work for.
Personally, I'd be freaked out by the prospect of moving to the middle of nowhere and not being sure about next steps. If you're committed to moving to Montana, I would suggest doing some research about the current job landscape. Are there jobs in your field that you could apply for RIGHT NOW? Jobs you can see yourself doing? You write that you're interested in Native American literature; are you interested in working with a reservation? There are health clinics and social service agencies that might need a fundraising professional. AmeriCorps could be an option, but it sounds like you want something higher-paying.
All and all, it sounds like you want more responsibility and respect at work. Picking a job is kinda a crapshoot. Montana non-profits are probably smaller than the big city ones, and you might get more responsibilities and less supervision.
I think you feel worried about moving since nothing is certain. You might get a job completely different from your current one. And that's a big shift you should think carefully about.
posted by myntu at 3:34 PM on September 26, 2014
From what you wrote, it sounds like a lot of your stress comes from your boss being a dick. Do you think you would still be in non-profit development if you had a dream boss? Someone who gives you both praise and constructive criticism, who anticipates asking for your option, and hopes to become your friend?
I suspect the workplace culture of your current job isn't a good fit for you. I hate to say it, but a lot of non-profit workplaces are understaffed and employees are often coming and going. Mentors might leave. Generally I've found that a lot of flexibility is necessary, but respect from your co-workers is common. Maybe you can find a more organized non-profit to work for.
Personally, I'd be freaked out by the prospect of moving to the middle of nowhere and not being sure about next steps. If you're committed to moving to Montana, I would suggest doing some research about the current job landscape. Are there jobs in your field that you could apply for RIGHT NOW? Jobs you can see yourself doing? You write that you're interested in Native American literature; are you interested in working with a reservation? There are health clinics and social service agencies that might need a fundraising professional. AmeriCorps could be an option, but it sounds like you want something higher-paying.
All and all, it sounds like you want more responsibility and respect at work. Picking a job is kinda a crapshoot. Montana non-profits are probably smaller than the big city ones, and you might get more responsibilities and less supervision.
I think you feel worried about moving since nothing is certain. You might get a job completely different from your current one. And that's a big shift you should think carefully about.
posted by myntu at 3:34 PM on September 26, 2014
You absolutely can do this, but I think you need to plan a bit more. I think that's why you're feeling like it's a lose-lose situation. It isn't though, not to worry!
Have you been to Montana before? It is all the things you're yearning for, but it can also be insular, conservative, and a bit of a culture shock (I moved out from the Midwest and it took me a few years to settle in as a resident; I missed my "old life" hard when I first got here). I'd plan to visit both Missoula and Bozeman and see how you find them individually, if you haven't already, to make sure your vision matches up with the reality of those communities.
Have you looked into the specifics of the programs you'd be interested in doing? Residency will definitely play a part, but you should see whether one has better programs than the other and then plan accordingly. Financial aid may play a part, too. Be sure to look at the career prospects for each degree; un- or under- employment is pretty real out here, and my friends with MAs in literature are having a much harder time finding work than those with social work degrees.
What would you do for medical care? We have adequate care here, but I still find myself driving up to two hours for specialists. Might be something to look into for your partner, where he would go for a specialist. If he still would need to return to Chicago be aware that you're looking at a $500/$600 trip with a stop in SLC each time. You've probably already thought about health care.
I guess if I were you, I'd take the trip to scope out Montana, stay put over the winter, save more money, and hit the UM job boards and MSU job boards for professional/staff positions. If you can get your foot in the door in an administrative role (and there are a lot of jobs that would value your existing skills) then you can usually get some assistance going to school, and you'd have a good way to transition while still maintaining health insurance. Staying in your current career/position might be easier, too, if you can spend your time in the interim making your grand plan for escape. You could also look at masters programs, but make sure you know what you're getting into re: career prospects and getting aid (some past questions here).
I'm not in Missoula or Bozeman, but just across the border in Northern Idaho, so feel free to memail me if I can help answer more questions!
posted by stellaluna at 5:50 PM on September 26, 2014 [3 favorites]
Have you been to Montana before? It is all the things you're yearning for, but it can also be insular, conservative, and a bit of a culture shock (I moved out from the Midwest and it took me a few years to settle in as a resident; I missed my "old life" hard when I first got here). I'd plan to visit both Missoula and Bozeman and see how you find them individually, if you haven't already, to make sure your vision matches up with the reality of those communities.
Have you looked into the specifics of the programs you'd be interested in doing? Residency will definitely play a part, but you should see whether one has better programs than the other and then plan accordingly. Financial aid may play a part, too. Be sure to look at the career prospects for each degree; un- or under- employment is pretty real out here, and my friends with MAs in literature are having a much harder time finding work than those with social work degrees.
What would you do for medical care? We have adequate care here, but I still find myself driving up to two hours for specialists. Might be something to look into for your partner, where he would go for a specialist. If he still would need to return to Chicago be aware that you're looking at a $500/$600 trip with a stop in SLC each time. You've probably already thought about health care.
I guess if I were you, I'd take the trip to scope out Montana, stay put over the winter, save more money, and hit the UM job boards and MSU job boards for professional/staff positions. If you can get your foot in the door in an administrative role (and there are a lot of jobs that would value your existing skills) then you can usually get some assistance going to school, and you'd have a good way to transition while still maintaining health insurance. Staying in your current career/position might be easier, too, if you can spend your time in the interim making your grand plan for escape. You could also look at masters programs, but make sure you know what you're getting into re: career prospects and getting aid (some past questions here).
I'm not in Missoula or Bozeman, but just across the border in Northern Idaho, so feel free to memail me if I can help answer more questions!
posted by stellaluna at 5:50 PM on September 26, 2014 [3 favorites]
Perhaps it would help you to separate the emotional and practical elements of the decision.
First address the emotional question: "Do we really want to move to Montana?" Financial/employment etc considerations aside... do you really want to go?
Once that's answered (if yes) you can frame the question: "How can we move to Montana". There you can address the practical challenges of moving -- finding employment, timing , housing etc. Then, I'd compile a list of things that need to happen to make it a reality.
Of course, this is all in theory. If I actually operated that way, I'd probably live in Montana myself.
posted by ecorrocio at 12:44 PM on September 27, 2014
First address the emotional question: "Do we really want to move to Montana?" Financial/employment etc considerations aside... do you really want to go?
Once that's answered (if yes) you can frame the question: "How can we move to Montana". There you can address the practical challenges of moving -- finding employment, timing , housing etc. Then, I'd compile a list of things that need to happen to make it a reality.
Of course, this is all in theory. If I actually operated that way, I'd probably live in Montana myself.
posted by ecorrocio at 12:44 PM on September 27, 2014
This thread is closed to new comments.
Primarily, if you are interested in grad school, I would recommend living and working in Montana to establish in-state residency.
On a practical level, I'd continue working through the winter and then take a trip out there in early spring, with a plan to relocate in late spring. More money can only be better but if you get fired in the interim, meh. Nothing's holding you; you can get up and go at that point. But ideally, I would not want to try to get to know and love my new town in the middle of a Montana winter. YMMV.
I am more concerned though about your plan to keep expenses to $12K a year. It looks like rent will run your $550 in either location. Given rents, I don't see how that's possible. On the plus side, it seems like you're a frugal family; you have savings; and you have at least some guaranteed income. You say "I like the challenge of writing annual fund letters and I like doing the creative design work for invitations, brochures, and other marketing material." Have you thought about working a part-time job while building a business around these skills?
posted by DarlingBri at 3:31 PM on September 26, 2014 [2 favorites]