Non-synagogue ideas for observing the Jewish holidays?

September 17, 2014 7:44 AM

I want to observe the Jewish holidays without going to synagogue this year. Ideas for non-traditional ways I can commemorate the holy days?

Background: I was raised Conservative and follow many of the traditions, but find more meaning in the spiritual aspect as opposed to the rule-following aspect. I had a really bad experience at my 'family' synagogue last year and was on the fence about going back there, then I heard that the rabbi passed away last week, they are getting the retired former rabbi (who is in his late 90s) to officiate in his place, and it's going to be...not my thing, even more.

But I don't feel like I can just go to work and pretend it's a normal day either. I want to something. I am just not sure what it is. To give you an idea of the kind of experience I am looking for, I recently learned that my city is in the planning stages of a Jewish history museum. If such a thing existed now, then that would be the perfect way for me to spend the day. I could go down there, partake in the museum, feel like I have spiritually meditated and observed the day, and avoid the dull, long and not very meaningful dog and pony show that is synagogue.

Alas, we are a good couple years away from having this museum. So in the meantime, what can I do? I was thinking of perhaps buying a nice book of poetry or something with religious content, then finding a beautiful place (a garden? a regular museum?) to spend the day, to read my new book, to reflect. But what else can I do? What are some ideas for a non-synagogue but still spiritually uplifting thing for a spiritual but not observant Jew?

I am in Toronto if that matters...

posted by JoannaC to Human Relations (15 answers total)

Best answer: This may be too much like going to syngagogue, but a humanist Jewish congregation in Cincinnati has an online sister community and they do streaming high holiday services.

My fiancé's family are members and one of their rabbis is officiating our wedding next year. My family is a mishmash of religions and I wasn't raised in any particular faith tradition, but the social justice orientation of the services really speaks to me.
posted by SugarAndSass at 7:50 AM on September 17, 2014 [1 favorite]

Best answer: Tashlikh! Fill your pockets with bread crumbs and go to flowing water such as a river or creek. Empty out your pockets into the water, symbolically casting off your sins.

I am a non observant Jew, but this is something that my Conserative parents always did and I think it's a nice tradition.
posted by amro at 7:51 AM on September 17, 2014 [12 favorites]

It looks like there's a Congregation for Humanistic Judaism in Toronto. For Rosh Hashanah, they say "join us for our meaningful humanistic Rosh Hashanah service. Come be inspired by philosophical reflections, poetry and music, rather than prayer." It's still "synagogue", but not really a traditional service.
posted by damayanti at 7:53 AM on September 17, 2014 [2 favorites]

Best answer: Oh, and eat apples and honey on Rosh Hashanah.
posted by amro at 7:53 AM on September 17, 2014 [1 favorite]

Also, another option/personal anecdote: I once had to spend Rosh Hashanah going to two doctor's appointments in New York City, with a long break in between. I ended up walking to Central Park, and reading The Life of Pi (which I usually do around the holidays anyway).
posted by damayanti at 7:55 AM on September 17, 2014

When Sukkot comes around, you can come up with some creative ways to eat your meals in a quasi-outdoor location (or at the very least not where you usually eat them) and get some friends to join you.
posted by griphus at 7:57 AM on September 17, 2014

I like to celebrate Rosh Hashannah by making and consuming delicious apple-based desserts. I also agree that Tashlikh could be a good way to go.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 8:20 AM on September 17, 2014 [1 favorite]

Best answer: First off, sign up for 10Q. You will get asked 10 questions, one each day before the High Holidays, reflecting on your past year and looking toward the next year.

Take the day off on Rosh Hashanah and take your answers to 10Q to a park or quiet place and really reflect/meditate on where you may have missed the mark (al cheit) last year and what you would like to change this year.

Do tashlich in a nearby river or pond.

Go home and drink hot apple cider or apples and honey and make one step toward making a change for the new year.

On Yom Kippur, volunteer for an organization that feeds the hungry or cook a meal for someone who is in need of help (grieving or just overwhelmed). Make your day in service to others.

This is what I usually do and it means so much to me.
posted by Sophie1 at 8:43 AM on September 17, 2014 [8 favorites]

I stay home and watch Fiddler on the Roof and a randomly chosen Mel Brooks movie and try not to eat bacon.
posted by poffin boffin at 8:55 AM on September 17, 2014 [2 favorites]

apples and honey

Non-Jew weighing in here - this has reminded me of a time when I was working on a play that performed one of the nights of the High Holidays, and one of our cast was a similarly casually-lapsed Jewish girl who was feeling a little blue about missing out - so she brought in a sack of apples and a big jar of honey and shared them with all of us, on the premise that at the very least she could treat this as her pre-show snack. That alone seemed to make her feel like she'd done something to observe.

I've also been a holiday orphan for a few holidays (albeit not Jewish ones) myself, and found that if I at least just nodded to the food, I didn't feel like I was missing out on anything. Traditional celebratory food seems to be a big memory trigger, so at the very least do the food.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:24 AM on September 17, 2014

How about hosting a Rosh Hashanah dinner at your house? Tell your friends about the holiday and celebrate the new year! (I do this with Passover. So MANY Christians want to do Passover.)

As for Yom Kippur, I may be all wet about this, but go to a Chabad/Lubbovitch Synogogue. It's absolutely the most segregated, kids running around, old-school thing you can do, but they will welcome you with open arms. That is if you want to attend shul. Do be respectful and cover head, arms and legs. I did this once and had a surprisingly good time, but it is a totally different country.

Or since it's a Saturday this year (HOORAY!) Stay home and say the prayers you're comfortable saying, meditating, making lists of resolutions or any other meaningful activity.

Break your fast on Saturday night with a typical Bagels, fish and dairy dinner and invite your friends!
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 9:56 AM on September 17, 2014 [1 favorite]

Is there a unitarian church near you? Give them a call.
posted by oceanjesse at 3:33 PM on September 17, 2014

A round challah. Check which local synagogues have a female rabbi.
posted by brujita at 3:42 PM on September 17, 2014 [1 favorite]

I no longer go to shul but still celebrate the festivals by spending time with family and friends over meals or coffees and the like. My mum and I usually spend one day of rosh hashana plus yom kippur together. Even if we're not observing, you know, observantly, we're together and marking the day, and most of all, eating a meal or two together. There are usually a couple of big family meals together to which EVERYONE is invited and for me, that's the heart of the yom tov -- eating and celebrating with my nearest and dearest.

That would be my suggestion: spend time with the people you love to spend time with.
posted by prettypretty at 4:11 PM on September 17, 2014

Best answer: I read This is Real and You Are Completely Unprepared every year at the holidays. It's a nice way to reconnect with the themes of the holidays and how those can be relevant in contemporary life. Highly recommended.
posted by judith at 9:42 PM on September 17, 2014 [1 favorite]