How to eat together, at home, with two different households?
September 9, 2014 12:52 PM Subscribe
My significant other and I don't live together, and haven't yet come up with a practical or efficient way to cook and eat a healthful dinner together on weeknights when we're both busy during the day and don't get home until late. Looking for suggestions from other couples in the same situation who have figured out tricks, systems, routines, or plans that will help us streamline our dinnertime process.
What ends up happening now is that we get home after busy days, to either his or my home, find that there's "nothing" in the fridge, and end up either going out to eat or getting takeout. This isn't good for our wallets or waistlines, and I'd really like to figure out a good system that will make it easy to get home and cook a fairly easy and healthy dinner with whatever ingredients are in whichever kitchen we happen to be in. We've tried doing coordinated grocery runs, making pantry meals, and stopping by the store to get dinner ingredients after work, and none of it seems to stick.
I'm not sure why this is that hard, except that food things sometimes are, but I'd appreciate any advice, tricks, hacks, examples, routines, or reality checks that you'd care to share, especially those that feature equal input and effort from both parties.
What ends up happening now is that we get home after busy days, to either his or my home, find that there's "nothing" in the fridge, and end up either going out to eat or getting takeout. This isn't good for our wallets or waistlines, and I'd really like to figure out a good system that will make it easy to get home and cook a fairly easy and healthy dinner with whatever ingredients are in whichever kitchen we happen to be in. We've tried doing coordinated grocery runs, making pantry meals, and stopping by the store to get dinner ingredients after work, and none of it seems to stick.
I'm not sure why this is that hard, except that food things sometimes are, but I'd appreciate any advice, tricks, hacks, examples, routines, or reality checks that you'd care to share, especially those that feature equal input and effort from both parties.
Meal planning and a weekly grocery delivery for each home seem key here. If it's Monday, you can take one night of food out of the freezer and eat it Tuesday or Wednesday, so that doesn't really limit what home you're in when. You can also cook some meals together at the weekend and freeze for later consumption; if you have a microwave, this is easier (but we don't have one and it works fine for us.)
posted by DarlingBri at 1:01 PM on September 9, 2014 [3 favorites]
posted by DarlingBri at 1:01 PM on September 9, 2014 [3 favorites]
Also you can build meals around foods that keep really well, so you don't need to schedule shopping really precisely. My go-to unplanned meal, for example, is linguini with garlic & shrimp. The linguini keeps for years; the shrimp is frozen (uncooked, peeled, either Trader Joe's or Costco); the garlic and Parmesan keep for weeks in the fridge; the olive oil is good for a few months. You can thaw shrimp in a bowl of cold water in the time it takes the pasta water to heat up. Or, staying with the Italian theme, a can of canelloni beans with canned tuna, garlic, and maybe an onion.
The hardest item to treat this way is fresh vegetables. If you like broccoli, it keeps pretty well in the fridge; otherwise you might have to compromise on frozen vegetables.
posted by mr vino at 1:10 PM on September 9, 2014 [2 favorites]
The hardest item to treat this way is fresh vegetables. If you like broccoli, it keeps pretty well in the fridge; otherwise you might have to compromise on frozen vegetables.
posted by mr vino at 1:10 PM on September 9, 2014 [2 favorites]
Solving the problem of having 'nothing' in the fridge is key here. I would start looking into guides on how to build a solid pantry. The first section of The Art of Simple Food does a fairly good job for a California/Mediterranean style pantry; if you cook other cuisines, you might need to add or subtract items from their lists.
With a solid pantry, and a couple 'perishable staples' (ie, eggs, onions, etc) that you purchase every week on your grocery run, you can make a remarkable amount of meals. When you add in a little bit of planning on top of that for your protein and fresh veg, you've got endless flexibility with what you actually make.
A casserole, or a large batch of cold salad of some sort at the beginning of the week can be a boon.
Also, it's not clear from your question, but making sure that you sort of schedule where you're going to be on each night will make this process much easier. If you're already doing this, you're set.
posted by furnace.heart at 1:12 PM on September 9, 2014 [4 favorites]
With a solid pantry, and a couple 'perishable staples' (ie, eggs, onions, etc) that you purchase every week on your grocery run, you can make a remarkable amount of meals. When you add in a little bit of planning on top of that for your protein and fresh veg, you've got endless flexibility with what you actually make.
A casserole, or a large batch of cold salad of some sort at the beginning of the week can be a boon.
Also, it's not clear from your question, but making sure that you sort of schedule where you're going to be on each night will make this process much easier. If you're already doing this, you're set.
posted by furnace.heart at 1:12 PM on September 9, 2014 [4 favorites]
My boyfriend and I spend 5 nights together a week. Always the same nights.
We order groceries together on Fresh Direct after making a meal plan. So those 5 nights we have a plan. It's great because we don't over buy food and waste.
The nights we don't see each other we eat leftovers from our meals (depending on whose house they're left at), eat out with friends, get takeout or make simple meals at home alone. It's only 2 nights a week so it's not a big deal.
Logistics wise, groceries are delivered to his house, when we're making a meal at my house, he'll take the ingredients to work and bring them to my house when he comes over.
posted by shesbenevolent at 1:12 PM on September 9, 2014
We order groceries together on Fresh Direct after making a meal plan. So those 5 nights we have a plan. It's great because we don't over buy food and waste.
The nights we don't see each other we eat leftovers from our meals (depending on whose house they're left at), eat out with friends, get takeout or make simple meals at home alone. It's only 2 nights a week so it's not a big deal.
Logistics wise, groceries are delivered to his house, when we're making a meal at my house, he'll take the ingredients to work and bring them to my house when he comes over.
posted by shesbenevolent at 1:12 PM on September 9, 2014
If I'm hungry but determined to cook, I have a glass of wine while cooking. It tides me over, helps me relax after a long day, and helps me enjoy the cooking process. Snacking a bit also helps, a few veg, crackers and cheese to go with the wine. And I make my husband help, or at least keep me company with his own glass of wine.
posted by lizbunny at 1:14 PM on September 9, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by lizbunny at 1:14 PM on September 9, 2014 [2 favorites]
Best answer: We've tried doing coordinated grocery runs, making pantry meals, and stopping by the store to get dinner ingredients after work, and none of it seems to stick.
Weeknight cooking sucks (if you aren't into cooking) even if you live together and don't have the logistical challenge of two households. My partner and I (we live together) have irregularly scheduled sessions to make slow cooker meals, and we stock the freezer with individual portions therefrom, as well as having a few easy to make things in the panty/freezer/fridge. We don't like doing it, but we like it more than we hate the never--having-things-to-eat-and-eating-out-problem.
Probably the only way you'll make it work is if you agree that you will make 'dates' to do make-ahead meals or conduct meal planning, even though it is less fun than other things you could be doing, and you are tired, etc.
For us that means remembering that (a) if we spend one evening or afternoon a week doing this, we are free from the problem for the rest of the week; and (b) once you get into it, find a rhythm, put some music on (or chop veggies while watching a movie/tv), it is actually a pretty good "team us" moment -- and is even fun despite it being a chore. We are, afterall, hanging out together and talking and building something small together even if it is only regular ol' weekday meals, and not a piece of art).
(So sad that basic things like making our own damn dinners seems like a triumph, but hey, we both work a lot, and we have low expectations for our triumphs!)
posted by girlpublisher at 1:18 PM on September 9, 2014 [1 favorite]
Weeknight cooking sucks (if you aren't into cooking) even if you live together and don't have the logistical challenge of two households. My partner and I (we live together) have irregularly scheduled sessions to make slow cooker meals, and we stock the freezer with individual portions therefrom, as well as having a few easy to make things in the panty/freezer/fridge. We don't like doing it, but we like it more than we hate the never--having-things-to-eat-and-eating-out-problem.
Probably the only way you'll make it work is if you agree that you will make 'dates' to do make-ahead meals or conduct meal planning, even though it is less fun than other things you could be doing, and you are tired, etc.
For us that means remembering that (a) if we spend one evening or afternoon a week doing this, we are free from the problem for the rest of the week; and (b) once you get into it, find a rhythm, put some music on (or chop veggies while watching a movie/tv), it is actually a pretty good "team us" moment -- and is even fun despite it being a chore. We are, afterall, hanging out together and talking and building something small together even if it is only regular ol' weekday meals, and not a piece of art).
(So sad that basic things like making our own damn dinners seems like a triumph, but hey, we both work a lot, and we have low expectations for our triumphs!)
posted by girlpublisher at 1:18 PM on September 9, 2014 [1 favorite]
Best answer: This is a hard one. I am the bigger "foodie" in my relationship and thus take the planning reins a bit more for our meals. We live apart and share 2-3 dinners and 1 or 2 breakfasts together a week. Here's what works for us:
- Routine. We see one another on the same days and for the same meals pretty much every week. That helps planning.
- Routine shopping visits. I go twice a week, at the same times each week.
- Meal planning. I figure out all of my meals for the upcoming week on Sunday evening. You and your boyfriend could do this together.
- Having a list of easy cook and fast prep stuff on hand. Some go-to meals right now for us are cold sandwiches, cold sesame noodles, chicken stir fry with frozen veggies, salads (I am a huge salad fan). In the winter we will eat more roast chicken, meatloaf, casseroles, and soup type stuff.
- Make and freeze. Once a month or so we spend a weekend day cooking and goofing off in my kitchen. We freeze whatever we make, half at my place and half at his. I've got pasta sauce and meatloaf in the freezer here now.
- Once a night every week we cheat and either go out or make something caloric and sinful at home together. It makes it easier to eat healthfully the rest of the week knowing cheese fries are around the corner.
- We have one go-to breakfast that we always have everything on hand for and are always willing to eat: a cheese omelette, pancakes, and bacon. I do the omelette and hand press the coffee and he does the pancakes and the bacon. We have it down to a science. Try to find at least one meal that you can cook in perfect unison. It's fun. Sometimes we do breakfast for dinner, too.
We used to eat out for all of our meals but have slowly transitioned to this for the sake of our waistlines and pocketbooks and it's been really fun for us. I hope you enjoy it too. Food is one of the greatest pleasures in life and it is so lovely to make and eat with someone else. Even when you're both tired.
And on a final note: it's ok to sometimes eat frozen fries and grilled cheese sandwiches, or frozen chicken fingers and Mac and cheese from the box, or tomato soup with crackers because it is easy. It's also healthier than going to McDonalds. Sometimes we are too tired to deal with the kitchen, and instead of giving up and going out we have some super easy shelf-stable comfort meals we can always turn to in need.
posted by sockermom at 1:28 PM on September 9, 2014 [6 favorites]
- Routine. We see one another on the same days and for the same meals pretty much every week. That helps planning.
- Routine shopping visits. I go twice a week, at the same times each week.
- Meal planning. I figure out all of my meals for the upcoming week on Sunday evening. You and your boyfriend could do this together.
- Having a list of easy cook and fast prep stuff on hand. Some go-to meals right now for us are cold sandwiches, cold sesame noodles, chicken stir fry with frozen veggies, salads (I am a huge salad fan). In the winter we will eat more roast chicken, meatloaf, casseroles, and soup type stuff.
- Make and freeze. Once a month or so we spend a weekend day cooking and goofing off in my kitchen. We freeze whatever we make, half at my place and half at his. I've got pasta sauce and meatloaf in the freezer here now.
- Once a night every week we cheat and either go out or make something caloric and sinful at home together. It makes it easier to eat healthfully the rest of the week knowing cheese fries are around the corner.
- We have one go-to breakfast that we always have everything on hand for and are always willing to eat: a cheese omelette, pancakes, and bacon. I do the omelette and hand press the coffee and he does the pancakes and the bacon. We have it down to a science. Try to find at least one meal that you can cook in perfect unison. It's fun. Sometimes we do breakfast for dinner, too.
We used to eat out for all of our meals but have slowly transitioned to this for the sake of our waistlines and pocketbooks and it's been really fun for us. I hope you enjoy it too. Food is one of the greatest pleasures in life and it is so lovely to make and eat with someone else. Even when you're both tired.
And on a final note: it's ok to sometimes eat frozen fries and grilled cheese sandwiches, or frozen chicken fingers and Mac and cheese from the box, or tomato soup with crackers because it is easy. It's also healthier than going to McDonalds. Sometimes we are too tired to deal with the kitchen, and instead of giving up and going out we have some super easy shelf-stable comfort meals we can always turn to in need.
posted by sockermom at 1:28 PM on September 9, 2014 [6 favorites]
Sticking to just a few go-to meals is key (Taco Tuesday, etc) so that shopping and cooking become routine tasks.
One thing that works well for my partner and I is that we split up the tasks, since one person arrives home 45 minutes before. One person starts (starts the rice, chops veggies), then other person comes home and takes over the cooking process. It helps a lot.
posted by susanvance at 1:29 PM on September 9, 2014 [1 favorite]
One thing that works well for my partner and I is that we split up the tasks, since one person arrives home 45 minutes before. One person starts (starts the rice, chops veggies), then other person comes home and takes over the cooking process. It helps a lot.
posted by susanvance at 1:29 PM on September 9, 2014 [1 favorite]
We usually do at least one night a week where we do dinner at one of our homes (90% mine). I keep a pretty well stocked pantry because most of the food I eat is made in my house (bread made on the weekend, etc.), so seconding furnaceheart above. I also really enjoy cooking, so I tend to try and make something new or interesting every time. I'd probably die of boredom if I had to just cook another breaded chicken and canned green beans or whatever people who don't like to cook make.
I usually pick out something to make during the day and hit the grocery on the way home to grab anything that I might need, especially produce and meat (tonight's is going to be pollo agrodolche and sauted greens). I get home and start prepping, she shows up whenever, we have a glass of booze of some kind, food's ready around 8pm. Hopefully by then she's done grading homework.
Now, I have no idea where you live, where the grocery is, or how your commute is, but I'd say the secret is one of you say you'll cook and hit the store on the way home for ingredients. The secret is don't make it home without a plan, because home is where plans go to die.
posted by General Malaise at 1:38 PM on September 9, 2014 [1 favorite]
I usually pick out something to make during the day and hit the grocery on the way home to grab anything that I might need, especially produce and meat (tonight's is going to be pollo agrodolche and sauted greens). I get home and start prepping, she shows up whenever, we have a glass of booze of some kind, food's ready around 8pm. Hopefully by then she's done grading homework.
Now, I have no idea where you live, where the grocery is, or how your commute is, but I'd say the secret is one of you say you'll cook and hit the store on the way home for ingredients. The secret is don't make it home without a plan, because home is where plans go to die.
posted by General Malaise at 1:38 PM on September 9, 2014 [1 favorite]
Best answer: When we grow up, we get used to someone (usually Mom) just taking care of meals, and we don't realize that it takes significant mental real estate to get it done and done well.
You just have to put a little more time into knowing what you have on hand, knowing the kinds of things you want to eat, and planning how to get that from the store or various vendors, into the right kitchen, and prepared to eat.
You're probably embarrassed to insist that your SO needs to put thought into this, too, but he just does.
posted by amtho at 1:44 PM on September 9, 2014 [1 favorite]
You just have to put a little more time into knowing what you have on hand, knowing the kinds of things you want to eat, and planning how to get that from the store or various vendors, into the right kitchen, and prepared to eat.
You're probably embarrassed to insist that your SO needs to put thought into this, too, but he just does.
posted by amtho at 1:44 PM on September 9, 2014 [1 favorite]
When I'm not disorganized and eating my feelings (like this week), I have a number of pantry dishes similar to those described above* but I also pick up things for a snacky supper:
Good crackers - I usually get Dr. Kracker ones because they are substantial and not especially carby; almond rice ones would do as well. (I also bake oat biscuits for this purpose.)
Something fatty and proteiny to put on the crackers - goat cheese or similar if you eat dairy, or perhaps a hard cheese if you're looking for something which will keep; nut butter or any other appealing spread if not
Baby carrots
Grape tomatoes
Apples or oranges
Nuts, olives, pickled things
So what you do is you make a tray - some crackers, some spread/cheese/protein, some tomatoes and carrots, some sliced apples and orange segments, some nuts/olives/etc. And there you have it - a fairly nutritious and very quick picnic-style dinner. If you're really organized, you can add a salad from pre-washed greens and decrease the amount of carrots and tomatoes.
Everything except goat cheese and grape tomatoes keeps well.
*Plus some things from the nearby pan-Asian grocery store - if you like that sort of thing, tofu skin, canned mock duck, rice noodles, dried mushrooms, etc make excellent pantry staples.
posted by Frowner at 1:44 PM on September 9, 2014 [1 favorite]
Good crackers - I usually get Dr. Kracker ones because they are substantial and not especially carby; almond rice ones would do as well. (I also bake oat biscuits for this purpose.)
Something fatty and proteiny to put on the crackers - goat cheese or similar if you eat dairy, or perhaps a hard cheese if you're looking for something which will keep; nut butter or any other appealing spread if not
Baby carrots
Grape tomatoes
Apples or oranges
Nuts, olives, pickled things
So what you do is you make a tray - some crackers, some spread/cheese/protein, some tomatoes and carrots, some sliced apples and orange segments, some nuts/olives/etc. And there you have it - a fairly nutritious and very quick picnic-style dinner. If you're really organized, you can add a salad from pre-washed greens and decrease the amount of carrots and tomatoes.
Everything except goat cheese and grape tomatoes keeps well.
*Plus some things from the nearby pan-Asian grocery store - if you like that sort of thing, tofu skin, canned mock duck, rice noodles, dried mushrooms, etc make excellent pantry staples.
posted by Frowner at 1:44 PM on September 9, 2014 [1 favorite]
First step: make a habit of going to the grocery store every Sunday together, and you both get groceries for both your homes.
posted by amaire at 2:05 PM on September 9, 2014
posted by amaire at 2:05 PM on September 9, 2014
Best answer: One of the big mental leaps I've had is that you don't have to make every single thing from scratch. Get some prepared stuff from a grocery store with healthy options. Pre-bagged and mixed salad that comes with dressing, chicken that's been pre-seasoned etc. You're doing less work but also spending less money than take-out or eating out and it's healthier than take-out (or at least the kind of take-out I get). Whole Foods sells shrimp and stuff like that pre-marinated. Trader Joe's has a lot of prepared food that tastes totally decent. Dinner takes about 20 minutes to make when we use the pre-prepared stuff and takes a LOT less mental effort on the nights we don't have the energy. We also keep a couple of frozen options on hand for lazy nights and usually add a salad or some other veggie to that. I'm not sure if you're in an urban area or not, but it's usually pretty easy to stop at produce place on the corner on the way home in a city, if you already have the main in the fridge or freezer. That said I ate a lot of cheese, nuts and grapes based dinners before meeting my current SO, who was not into that as a lifestyle choice.
Also general advice on changing habits that I've learned as an adult. Usually the change you try doesn't stick the first couple of times you try it. Because you've carved that groove into your behavior, but just because you slip up doesn't mean you have to reset entirely and try a whole new strategy, you can also just recommit to the habit change and eventually if you do that enough times the new habit sticks and feels like a normal expenditure of energy.
posted by edbles at 2:10 PM on September 9, 2014 [4 favorites]
Also general advice on changing habits that I've learned as an adult. Usually the change you try doesn't stick the first couple of times you try it. Because you've carved that groove into your behavior, but just because you slip up doesn't mean you have to reset entirely and try a whole new strategy, you can also just recommit to the habit change and eventually if you do that enough times the new habit sticks and feels like a normal expenditure of energy.
posted by edbles at 2:10 PM on September 9, 2014 [4 favorites]
Best answer: It is keto-specific, but I think some of the answers here might be helpful.
Some highlights of my answer there: You can individually freeze steaks so they defrost rapidly, buy individually frozen chicken, frozen veggie mixes, etc. For this question, I will add that you can keep noodles and other shelf-stable items on hand that cook fairly quickly.
For medical reasons, I have serious dietary restrictions and also need food to be fresh. I rarely eat leftovers because I get food poisoning too easily. Yet, I also had a full-time job for a few years and, yes, you can learn to make a number of recipes where it is easy to keep the ingredients on hand and it doesn't just take all the energy you have left plus your entire evening. You need to focus on things that you can freeze and readily defrost in short order, things that keep without freezing (like noodles and dried foods) and so on.
Also, make your peace with not necessarily having a huge variety to your meals. If you are ordering in take-out a lot, most likely, you are eating a lot of the same things already. So don't go applying some ridiculously high standard to home-cooked meals. It is fine to develop a short list of things that work for you and use the same things over and over, at least for a time. Revisit it when it gets too annoying. Also, shoot for progress, not perfection. It's okay to sometimes just fall back on ordering in take-out. Set a goal of cooking at home more often, not one of doing it All The Time.
posted by Michele in California at 2:13 PM on September 9, 2014 [1 favorite]
Some highlights of my answer there: You can individually freeze steaks so they defrost rapidly, buy individually frozen chicken, frozen veggie mixes, etc. For this question, I will add that you can keep noodles and other shelf-stable items on hand that cook fairly quickly.
For medical reasons, I have serious dietary restrictions and also need food to be fresh. I rarely eat leftovers because I get food poisoning too easily. Yet, I also had a full-time job for a few years and, yes, you can learn to make a number of recipes where it is easy to keep the ingredients on hand and it doesn't just take all the energy you have left plus your entire evening. You need to focus on things that you can freeze and readily defrost in short order, things that keep without freezing (like noodles and dried foods) and so on.
Also, make your peace with not necessarily having a huge variety to your meals. If you are ordering in take-out a lot, most likely, you are eating a lot of the same things already. So don't go applying some ridiculously high standard to home-cooked meals. It is fine to develop a short list of things that work for you and use the same things over and over, at least for a time. Revisit it when it gets too annoying. Also, shoot for progress, not perfection. It's okay to sometimes just fall back on ordering in take-out. Set a goal of cooking at home more often, not one of doing it All The Time.
posted by Michele in California at 2:13 PM on September 9, 2014 [1 favorite]
Best answer: My wife and I used to live in two different places during the week; every weekend one of us would visit the other. We found that sitting down for 20 minutes once every week to plan out meals, a grocery list, and shopping responsibilities was the key to successful meal planning. It helps to get a couple of cookbooks that focus on easy to prepare, quick meals, but it's really the routine that matters: it is a lot easier to come home after a long day and preparing chicken cacciatore (or whatever) if (a) you know the ingredients are there and (b) you don't have to decide what to make, just start making it.
We also plan one or two meals every week that freeze well, so we can make 6-8 servings and freeze what we don't eat. When we know we have crunch times coming up at work, we plan to draw down our frozen food during the busiest times.
posted by brianogilvie at 2:57 PM on September 9, 2014
We also plan one or two meals every week that freeze well, so we can make 6-8 servings and freeze what we don't eat. When we know we have crunch times coming up at work, we plan to draw down our frozen food during the busiest times.
posted by brianogilvie at 2:57 PM on September 9, 2014
http://www.amazon.com/What-Think-Theres-Nothing-House/dp/0060955597
posted by SemiSalt at 4:25 PM on September 9, 2014
posted by SemiSalt at 4:25 PM on September 9, 2014
I don't have food advice, but I do wonder if you're eating dinner together all the time and spending every night together why not combine households and simplify things that way?
Two fridges and two locations is always going to be harder than 1.
posted by MadMadam at 7:20 PM on September 9, 2014
Two fridges and two locations is always going to be harder than 1.
posted by MadMadam at 7:20 PM on September 9, 2014
Your question reads to me like you know exactly what you need to do ("coordinated grocery runs, making pantry meals") and that the reason none of it seems to stick might be to do with your mental approach than anything practical. I had this problem.
I think sockermom nails it in that you have to realise that it is absolutely fine to eat frozen fries or whatever sometimes - it's still better for your budget and your health than takeout. This Mark Bittman article is also pretty good on light, easy things that absolutely count as a meal and are fine to have for dinner. Michele in Calinfornia is also right, you need to make peace with not having huge variety in your meals.
The question I ask myself nowadays is "Is there really no food in the house or is it that I would just prefer a takeout over the simple but not very exciting alternative?"
For me, cracking this nut seemed hard because we are all so used to a constant variety and availability of every type of food possible that eating pasta with a can of chopped tomatoes and garlic seems a bit sad in comparison to the delicious (expensive, salt, sugar and fat filled) alternative of takeout. Once I just took that option of take-out away, and really properly value the importance of cooking at home, it makes it a lot easier to be satisfied with a quick dinner of poached eggs over some asparagus.
You are busy people, you are never going to some up with a plan that is as appealing to your hungry, tired self as going out/take out. Try literally removing takeout from the list of options and see how you go.
posted by bimbam at 3:02 AM on September 10, 2014 [1 favorite]
I think sockermom nails it in that you have to realise that it is absolutely fine to eat frozen fries or whatever sometimes - it's still better for your budget and your health than takeout. This Mark Bittman article is also pretty good on light, easy things that absolutely count as a meal and are fine to have for dinner. Michele in Calinfornia is also right, you need to make peace with not having huge variety in your meals.
The question I ask myself nowadays is "Is there really no food in the house or is it that I would just prefer a takeout over the simple but not very exciting alternative?"
For me, cracking this nut seemed hard because we are all so used to a constant variety and availability of every type of food possible that eating pasta with a can of chopped tomatoes and garlic seems a bit sad in comparison to the delicious (expensive, salt, sugar and fat filled) alternative of takeout. Once I just took that option of take-out away, and really properly value the importance of cooking at home, it makes it a lot easier to be satisfied with a quick dinner of poached eggs over some asparagus.
You are busy people, you are never going to some up with a plan that is as appealing to your hungry, tired self as going out/take out. Try literally removing takeout from the list of options and see how you go.
posted by bimbam at 3:02 AM on September 10, 2014 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: "Home is where plans go to die"--truth.
Marked as best answer those that I think fit our situation the best--cooperative planning is something that will absolutely help, we both just need to make it a priority. Also not sure why I never thought of having snacks on hand, but that will definitely help with the "omg need to eat immediately" that happens when we get home and decide that a restaurant will be faster than cooking.
posted by stellaluna at 3:07 PM on September 10, 2014
Marked as best answer those that I think fit our situation the best--cooperative planning is something that will absolutely help, we both just need to make it a priority. Also not sure why I never thought of having snacks on hand, but that will definitely help with the "omg need to eat immediately" that happens when we get home and decide that a restaurant will be faster than cooking.
posted by stellaluna at 3:07 PM on September 10, 2014
Try to think like Mark Bittman and simplify. Don't try to make anything fancy, stick with the basics.
Make sure every week that each household has enough of these items on hand. No need to fully plan out exact recipes, unless you enjoy that kind of detail:
--Meat or other protein source
--Potatoes/rice/pasta/corn
--Green vegetables like broccoli, brussels sprouts, kale, or whatever you like that keeps for a week.
--Onions/garlic
--Spices
--Lemons/limes
--Olive oil
--Some kind of roasting or simmering seasoning (sauce or spice rub). This is where the variety comes in. You can get all kinds of world flavor this way.
Think of the simplest possible meals that can use the meat/starch/vegetable structure:
--Roasted chicken with roasted potatoes and sauteed broccoli. The chicken and potatoes go into the same oven and take about the same amount of time.
--Grilled salmon with boiled corn and roasted brussels sprouts.
--Teriyaki beef over rice with green beans.
Those combinations of three will provide a structure for your meals, and once you feel comfortable with those, you can tackle more fancy stuff. They should only take an hour to prep and cook. (Make sure you munch on snacks while cooking) Also, on the days when you're both at your house, you can think of it as *treating* your sig other, so he can kick back and just wash dishes. When you're at his house, you get a chance to kick back and be fed.
posted by oxisos at 6:16 PM on September 10, 2014
Make sure every week that each household has enough of these items on hand. No need to fully plan out exact recipes, unless you enjoy that kind of detail:
--Meat or other protein source
--Potatoes/rice/pasta/corn
--Green vegetables like broccoli, brussels sprouts, kale, or whatever you like that keeps for a week.
--Onions/garlic
--Spices
--Lemons/limes
--Olive oil
--Some kind of roasting or simmering seasoning (sauce or spice rub). This is where the variety comes in. You can get all kinds of world flavor this way.
Think of the simplest possible meals that can use the meat/starch/vegetable structure:
--Roasted chicken with roasted potatoes and sauteed broccoli. The chicken and potatoes go into the same oven and take about the same amount of time.
--Grilled salmon with boiled corn and roasted brussels sprouts.
--Teriyaki beef over rice with green beans.
Those combinations of three will provide a structure for your meals, and once you feel comfortable with those, you can tackle more fancy stuff. They should only take an hour to prep and cook. (Make sure you munch on snacks while cooking) Also, on the days when you're both at your house, you can think of it as *treating* your sig other, so he can kick back and just wash dishes. When you're at his house, you get a chance to kick back and be fed.
posted by oxisos at 6:16 PM on September 10, 2014
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-Use a crockpot. Put some meat, veggies and flavorings in a crockpot before work, set it and when you come home from work, you will have a hot meal ready. You can also prepare it the night before and keep the crockpot base in the fridge and then place it into the cooker unit in the morning. Crockpots are great at making meat really tender because of the slow cooking. Soups, chili and stews can also be done well in a slow cooker. Again, you could have leftovers.
-You can make cold sides ahead of time, like a pasta salad. Or you can make a green salad but don't add the dressing or the veggies until it's time to serve.
All it really requires is planning ahead a little. You guys can switch off. Monday and Tuesdays are your place. Wednesdays and Thursdays at his.
posted by AppleTurnover at 12:59 PM on September 9, 2014 [5 favorites]