Giving up prestigious job to move to the city?
August 13, 2014 1:52 PM   Subscribe

So yeah. Keep going with extremely rare job in a town that doesn't support my ideal personal life, OR go with a slightly less rare (but still rare) job in the city where I know I'll get my ideal personal life? More below...

Help me think through this please, I’m so conflicted or maybe I know the answer and am in denial. So I’ve applied for this job, suspect am the only applicant and therefore likely to get it, and have cold feet (to give you an idea, I applied on Tues, they called yesterday Wed to organise a phone interview for today Thurs). My pros and cons if I do get offered the job on the spot (very likely):

- Current job
A)About changing the system which I like. Windfall for me to get it 3 years out of uni. However, haven’t been able to do as much as I like because of funding (short staffing means I often get pulled out onto the floor which I don’t mind, but not to the extent it has happened). Budget is released in 2 weeks, boss is confident we’ll get it. If we do, I will have the ideal job--or so I think. I’m worried I’m in love with the idea of it.
B)Personal life is not as good as it could be with the job I’ve applied for. It’s a country town 2hrs from the state capital, which is a painful distance because it’s short enough you can do things on weekdays nights,but far enough you wouldcome back completely exhausted (and I know that from experience, it’s nearly impossible to return home before midnight).Note that mypersonal life is not non-existent--I’m a member of three meetup groups and they are all lovely, I usually go out at least once a week, but it’s not my ideal.

- Job I’ve applied for and am likely to get--is in the state capital
A)It’s a variation on what I did in my previous jobs prior to the current one, but in a different setting. It’s a rare job but more opportunities for employment in this area than my current job (there’s probably not more than 50-100 people in the country with my current kind of job, this one maybe 200). Again, just worried I’m in love with the idea of this.
B)Personal life would be ideal. I have no trouble socialising or making friends, so the difference here is not the meetup groups, but rather what other personal development things I could do. I have access to more evening sports and little courses. And the culture of course--eating good Asian food again, and maybe even just eating good ethnic food gain. Current town is good, but only Western cuisine. I’ve always enjoyed *visiting*(emphasis visiting) this city and always thought I could live here, it’s got a buzz you can’t explain, and this is even compared to other cities. However, then again, maybe I’m biased because I did come from the only other similar sized city in the country and as a resident in the suburbs you took it for grantedand didn’t really wander downtown to experience any such buzz. So pretty much I’m worried I’m in love with the idea of moving here.

So I’m just worried I’m in love with the idea of staying here for the job, but also am in love with the idea of moving to this city and finding out it’s not really that great. This job I’ve applied for, I know their actual deadline because we discussed it when scheduling my interview, and it would not wait for the budget at my current job to be released. Like I said, I’m very likely to get this job and so haveto be prepared to make a decision, *now*, either way.

Also, I should mention, this city that I’ve applied in, it’s very hard to get jobs and to my dismay, it hasn’t quite turned around yet. The excess of grads started when I finished 5 years ago, and I thought it might’ve rectified (based on the halfway point of a 10 year cycle) but it hasn’t, so this is a rare look-in (and by look-in, it’s at the very edge of the metro area). But then again this current job I’m in, like I said, is also rare. Argh. Thanks for reading.
posted by glache to Work & Money (8 answers total)
I think you should take the job in the city and see what it's like to live in that city. You're young and you want some more stimulation, better social life and good food opportunities, and those are all very important.
posted by DMelanogaster at 2:07 PM on August 13, 2014 [2 favorites]

It sounds like there's no downsides to taking the job in the city.

Take the job in the city.
posted by Lyn Never at 2:30 PM on August 13, 2014

I really think you could go either way here but it sounds like you're really leaning towards taking the job in your dream city: it's true that the job may not work out as you'd like but I'd assume other things could make up for it or that you could potentially even return to this one some day? Both options have their pros and cons so it ultimately comes down to what you want most for now and in the long-term.

I hear where you're coming from as I moved to a small town for my dream job: it has stayed wonderful, despite some ups and downs, and, eight years later, I've developed a life here that I really love, too. However, I also grew up in the suburbs of a big city nearby and spent many years wondering -- to put it lightly -- if I wanted to move from my teeny city into the bigger one or at least somewhere else that felt "cooler" and more "me." (I, too, regularly did the drive between for events and still do, albeit much less frequently.) Ultimately, I'm so glad I stayed as I have my ideal job, a more relaxed lifestyle, cute and comfortable surroundings, and can afford to do a lot of travel. (My itchy feet will always be there!) I had lived in a few big European cities before (as well as in the country), fwiw, so I knew what that was like; I'd probably be happy living in any of those places as well, to be honest, but don't reject leaving either. I was happy to at least SEE what it felt like as I'd probably feel like I was missing out if I hadn't (even if it really wasn't the case!)

The bottom line: if this is really something you want to go for -- and it sounds like something you've wanted for a long time and worked so hard to get -- I say go for it! I bet you'll love it and, if not, you've got other work and location options, too, I swear!
posted by smorgasbord at 2:32 PM on August 13, 2014

The time to move around and live in new places and do new things is when you're young and not tied down by mortgage/spouse/children/etc. Go move to the city. See what it's about. If you don't love it, you can move to another new place in a year or two.
posted by quince at 3:04 PM on August 13, 2014

Try the city. Why not?
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 4:10 PM on August 13, 2014

You don't actually describe any drawbacks to the city job. Your fear of both is that you won't love the job as much as you think you will, but that cancels out because it's the same for each choice. I have a job that's ideal in a town I hate. I am rolling the dice and looking for a new job in a place I want to stay in, personally. If you're in the position to explore and aren't locked in, do it now. One day, you won't be a position to move so freely.
posted by AppleTurnover at 6:14 PM on August 13, 2014

Try the city. I took my dream job in BF, in an area with a very small percentage of people who would fit my "ideal" lifestyle (i.e., single and OK with it, my age, intelligent, educated, open minded, not religious. Everyone here is married or on the heels of a bitter divorce, and pretty religiously conservative.). It would be 100% perfect if I were OK with my job being my whole life. Most people can't do that indefinitely.
posted by mibo at 6:34 PM on August 13, 2014

Response by poster: Thanks guys!
posted by glache at 2:47 AM on August 14, 2014

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