Persistent insomnia - sleep hygiene advice
December 2, 2013 8:28 AM Subscribe
I have always had intermittent insomnia, but in the last week I have not been able to get to sleep every night without 3-4 hours of tossing and turning. My body is now physically exhausted (droopy eyes, drowsiness etc) but I still can't sleep.
I'm generally an anxious person and I've always found sleep stressful, especially before anything important, exciting or different. Usually it's only for the odd night, but over the past week I've been having it every night - without anything obvious that's bothering me (apart from my progressive lack of sleep). I lie there, my body and eyes physically tired, but can't sleep. It's not even that my mind is racing over something specific - it just keeps thinking about things, and even when I will myself to stop and think about nothing I still can't seem to fall asleep until 2-3 hours later.
I've tried writing stuff down, doing something different until I feel sleepy, installing f.lux on my computer, drinking milk before going to bed, avoiding caffeine after 3pm, and it doesn't seem to be helping. I admit that my sleep hygiene isn't optimal: I use the computer until a few minutes before I go to bed (mainly because I can't find much else to do, and the bed is a stressful place I want to avoid), and I live in a tiny study bedroom where there is no way for me to separate sleep from my studies, eating, other activities etc, or have much resources for a good bedtime routine. There is also a low-level background noise in the block, which start to bother me when I'm stressed with sleep. I tried earplugs, but I can't seem to keep it in without that bothering me as well (perhaps I should be persevering more with this?). I eat well and I cycle for about 40 minutes/day for my commute during the day. I also do a sport (fairly vigorous but not overly) until around 10pm in the evening twice a week, which I know is not conducive to good sleep but I can't give that up...
Melatonin is not available over the counter here, and I don't really want to resort to sleeping tablets as I'm a bit worried that I'll become dependent on them. I've started taking magnesium supplements yesterday.
So my question is:
a) What are effective coping mechanisms/mind hacks/actions I can take right now when I can't sleep, especially as 'don't worry as you'll probably sleep like a log tomorrow' doesn't seem to be happening to me?
b) How can I optimise my sleep hygiene when there are certain factors that I can't (or don't really want) to shift, like my room and my sport?
Thanks.
I'm generally an anxious person and I've always found sleep stressful, especially before anything important, exciting or different. Usually it's only for the odd night, but over the past week I've been having it every night - without anything obvious that's bothering me (apart from my progressive lack of sleep). I lie there, my body and eyes physically tired, but can't sleep. It's not even that my mind is racing over something specific - it just keeps thinking about things, and even when I will myself to stop and think about nothing I still can't seem to fall asleep until 2-3 hours later.
I've tried writing stuff down, doing something different until I feel sleepy, installing f.lux on my computer, drinking milk before going to bed, avoiding caffeine after 3pm, and it doesn't seem to be helping. I admit that my sleep hygiene isn't optimal: I use the computer until a few minutes before I go to bed (mainly because I can't find much else to do, and the bed is a stressful place I want to avoid), and I live in a tiny study bedroom where there is no way for me to separate sleep from my studies, eating, other activities etc, or have much resources for a good bedtime routine. There is also a low-level background noise in the block, which start to bother me when I'm stressed with sleep. I tried earplugs, but I can't seem to keep it in without that bothering me as well (perhaps I should be persevering more with this?). I eat well and I cycle for about 40 minutes/day for my commute during the day. I also do a sport (fairly vigorous but not overly) until around 10pm in the evening twice a week, which I know is not conducive to good sleep but I can't give that up...
Melatonin is not available over the counter here, and I don't really want to resort to sleeping tablets as I'm a bit worried that I'll become dependent on them. I've started taking magnesium supplements yesterday.
So my question is:
a) What are effective coping mechanisms/mind hacks/actions I can take right now when I can't sleep, especially as 'don't worry as you'll probably sleep like a log tomorrow' doesn't seem to be happening to me?
b) How can I optimise my sleep hygiene when there are certain factors that I can't (or don't really want) to shift, like my room and my sport?
Thanks.
I use the computer until a few minutes before I go to bed.
Maybe you need some wind-down time to transition between the two?
posted by 0 answers at 8:35 AM on December 2, 2013 [1 favorite]
Maybe you need some wind-down time to transition between the two?
posted by 0 answers at 8:35 AM on December 2, 2013 [1 favorite]
Limit caffeine to 16 oz./day, before 1 p.m. Benadryl (diphenhydramine) is an effective sleep aid; take it at bedtime, not at 3 am.
I'm seriously stressed and can't sleep due to turning things over in my mind, over and over. So I listen to lectures on youtube, a little softer than I can hear very well, and it distracts me from the stressors, and I go to sleep. Meditation videos would help, as well.
posted by theora55 at 8:37 AM on December 2, 2013
I'm seriously stressed and can't sleep due to turning things over in my mind, over and over. So I listen to lectures on youtube, a little softer than I can hear very well, and it distracts me from the stressors, and I go to sleep. Meditation videos would help, as well.
posted by theora55 at 8:37 AM on December 2, 2013
What about a white noise generator? I use one on my iphone (SimplyNoise) when I have to sleep in noisy hotel rooms while on the road and it works pretty well.
For a long time, I had a couple of books that I went to whenever I had trouble sleeping, they were colossally dull, and ideally suited for the task. I kept them around for that reason alone.
posted by jquinby at 8:37 AM on December 2, 2013 [1 favorite]
For a long time, I had a couple of books that I went to whenever I had trouble sleeping, they were colossally dull, and ideally suited for the task. I kept them around for that reason alone.
posted by jquinby at 8:37 AM on December 2, 2013 [1 favorite]
I stop using the computer one full hour before bedtime, and switch to longform reading or mindless television.
Lately I've also recognized the topics that get my brain spun up, and try not to think about them.
posted by intermod at 8:53 AM on December 2, 2013
Lately I've also recognized the topics that get my brain spun up, and try not to think about them.
posted by intermod at 8:53 AM on December 2, 2013
Yeah, the computer before bed is a big no-no. Read a book instead -- an e-ink reader is OK, reading it on your phone or a tablet not so much. Try no caffeine after noon, or even after 10 AM. When I have had bursts of insomnia, a hot bath/shower or yoga (or both!) right before bed has sometimes really helped me. Also, Celestial Seasonings Sleepytime Extra Herbal Tea is known in my house as "put your pajamas on FIRST tea;" it contains valerian root and really assists with sleepiness onset. You may also consider finding a way to increase your activity levels earlier in the day, and do so more frequently -- don't give up your sport, but add to it. Even just taking a 20 minute walk once a day can help a lot.
Non-habit-forming sleep aids include Benadryl, as mentioned above, and doxylamine succinate. Both of those are safe enough that they give them to pregnant women.
Insomnia is the pits. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this.
posted by KathrynT at 8:55 AM on December 2, 2013
Non-habit-forming sleep aids include Benadryl, as mentioned above, and doxylamine succinate. Both of those are safe enough that they give them to pregnant women.
Insomnia is the pits. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this.
posted by KathrynT at 8:55 AM on December 2, 2013
I am a terrible sleeper, and the following things have CHANGED MY LIFE (in terms of sleep)
1. No technology/bright screens before sleep. Kindle reading is fine as it is not backlit. iPhone reading is not.
2. Listening to and working through guided hyponosis/meditations in bed.* My favourites are the ones by Andrew Johnson. They start with a guided full body relaxation which really help me to relax and calm my mind. There are then various main programs that vary depending on which you download. There is one for Deep Sleep (really effective IMO), Relaxation, Positivity, Stress Free, etc. (I linked the GooglePlay links because I use android, but I know he has iPhone apps as well.) You have the option of repeating the main program once or many times, and then you have the option of having the program end with him waking you up or having him guide you down in to sleep. I own basically all of them (except the ones I clearly don't benefit from like healthy pregnancy and quitting smoking). I don't know how much of a difference the main programs really make, but to me it is nice having the variation. They are simply wonderful and have changed my life. I am usually asleep before I make it to the main program, the guided relaxation introduction usually puts me out, and I am someone who used to take hours to fall asleep. I just focus on his voice, focus on what he is saying, and follow the simple instructions to get me to relax. This truly has been life changing for me, I cannot recommend it enough. It seemed so stupid and silly but it is absolute magic for me to get me to fall asleep.
3. Go to bed at the same time every night (even on weekends) and get up at the same time every morning (even on weekends). When it comes to sleep the body thrives on predictability and consistency.
*I had some trouble with earbuds falling out/not being comfortable in bed and I was going to get something like these to wear at night, but I instead saved the money and fashioned my own out of a pair of earmuffs and a cheap pair of headphones. (Memail me if you want me to explain what I did to make them. They work wonderfully, are comfortable even when laying on my side, and it doesn't disturb my husband (in terms of him being able to hear the program). And they only cost me ~10$ total to make.) If you are a back sleeper then you shouldn't have a problem.
posted by PuppetMcSockerson at 8:59 AM on December 2, 2013 [1 favorite]
1. No technology/bright screens before sleep. Kindle reading is fine as it is not backlit. iPhone reading is not.
2. Listening to and working through guided hyponosis/meditations in bed.* My favourites are the ones by Andrew Johnson. They start with a guided full body relaxation which really help me to relax and calm my mind. There are then various main programs that vary depending on which you download. There is one for Deep Sleep (really effective IMO), Relaxation, Positivity, Stress Free, etc. (I linked the GooglePlay links because I use android, but I know he has iPhone apps as well.) You have the option of repeating the main program once or many times, and then you have the option of having the program end with him waking you up or having him guide you down in to sleep. I own basically all of them (except the ones I clearly don't benefit from like healthy pregnancy and quitting smoking). I don't know how much of a difference the main programs really make, but to me it is nice having the variation. They are simply wonderful and have changed my life. I am usually asleep before I make it to the main program, the guided relaxation introduction usually puts me out, and I am someone who used to take hours to fall asleep. I just focus on his voice, focus on what he is saying, and follow the simple instructions to get me to relax. This truly has been life changing for me, I cannot recommend it enough. It seemed so stupid and silly but it is absolute magic for me to get me to fall asleep.
3. Go to bed at the same time every night (even on weekends) and get up at the same time every morning (even on weekends). When it comes to sleep the body thrives on predictability and consistency.
*I had some trouble with earbuds falling out/not being comfortable in bed and I was going to get something like these to wear at night, but I instead saved the money and fashioned my own out of a pair of earmuffs and a cheap pair of headphones. (Memail me if you want me to explain what I did to make them. They work wonderfully, are comfortable even when laying on my side, and it doesn't disturb my husband (in terms of him being able to hear the program). And they only cost me ~10$ total to make.) If you are a back sleeper then you shouldn't have a problem.
posted by PuppetMcSockerson at 8:59 AM on December 2, 2013 [1 favorite]
Best answer: I have similar sleep issues (specifically, anxiety and racing thoughts that prevent sleep), and what helped me were a few things:
1) Audiobooks, radio, and podcasts. It sounds as though, like me, what you need is something that allows you to be distracted, but without the light pollution that computer use causes. If there's good radio where you are, put that on. But if you want something really distracting, get yourself some audiobooks or podcasts that are really interesting to you, and put those on when you lie down to go to sleep. You can close your eyes (which you can't do while reading) and rest, but still be distracted. It will help. And even if you don't fall asleep, at least you're resting. Which leads me to...
2) Try to cut yourself some slack. I am well familiar with the cycle of looking at the alarm clock and calculating how many hours of sleep I'll get if I fall asleep right now, then getting anxious that it won't be enough or that I won't be able to fall asleep fast enough, and that making it harder to fall asleep. Make a pact with yourself not to look at the clock (cover it up!) after you get into bed. Remind yourself that you will not die from a night of bad sleep, and that tomorrow is going to be however it's going to be, and that it's out of your control. It's really hard to do, but try not to beat yourself up over it.
3) Wake up at the same time every day. I know, it's awful to haul yourself out of bed on the weekends even when you don't need to be awake and you're exhausted. But I've found that getting up at the same time every day is more important (and more realistic) than trying to go to sleep at the same time every day. If you wake up at the same time every day, your body will get used to it, and it will help you to adjust what time you get tired at night.
4) Sleeping pills. I know you're afraid of becoming dependent, and so was I, but frankly, what's the worst case scenario here? The worst case scenario is not being able to sleep without taking the pills. Guess what? You're already there. You already can't sleep without pills. The only question is whether you'll be able to sleep with pills. Ask your doctor specifically about pills that are designed to help with racing thoughts and anxiety; you may find that what works for you isn't necessarily even a sleeping pill, but could be a short-acting anti-anxiety medication, most of which are not habit-forming. But even if you do end up somewhat dependent on the pills to help you sleep, I think it's better to have the option to sleep with the pills than it is where you are right now, with no option that will allow you a good night's sleep.
The combination of that stuff has reduced my sleep problems dramatically. But if those things don't work, I think you need to start thinking about really drastic, unpleasant measures, such as moving to a different apartment (even if it's expensive or a huge hassle, if you need to do it in order to sleep, then you need to do it) or giving up your sport (I know you love it, but if it's preventing you from sleeping, it's not healthy for you, and it's actually slowly killing you, because chronic sleep deprivation is really, really dangerous long-term). I'd say to try 1-3 above (and really commit to them) for at least a month. Then go see your doctor about diagnosis and medication. But if none of that works, you're going to have to consider radically changing your lifestyle.
posted by decathecting at 9:07 AM on December 2, 2013 [2 favorites]
1) Audiobooks, radio, and podcasts. It sounds as though, like me, what you need is something that allows you to be distracted, but without the light pollution that computer use causes. If there's good radio where you are, put that on. But if you want something really distracting, get yourself some audiobooks or podcasts that are really interesting to you, and put those on when you lie down to go to sleep. You can close your eyes (which you can't do while reading) and rest, but still be distracted. It will help. And even if you don't fall asleep, at least you're resting. Which leads me to...
2) Try to cut yourself some slack. I am well familiar with the cycle of looking at the alarm clock and calculating how many hours of sleep I'll get if I fall asleep right now, then getting anxious that it won't be enough or that I won't be able to fall asleep fast enough, and that making it harder to fall asleep. Make a pact with yourself not to look at the clock (cover it up!) after you get into bed. Remind yourself that you will not die from a night of bad sleep, and that tomorrow is going to be however it's going to be, and that it's out of your control. It's really hard to do, but try not to beat yourself up over it.
3) Wake up at the same time every day. I know, it's awful to haul yourself out of bed on the weekends even when you don't need to be awake and you're exhausted. But I've found that getting up at the same time every day is more important (and more realistic) than trying to go to sleep at the same time every day. If you wake up at the same time every day, your body will get used to it, and it will help you to adjust what time you get tired at night.
4) Sleeping pills. I know you're afraid of becoming dependent, and so was I, but frankly, what's the worst case scenario here? The worst case scenario is not being able to sleep without taking the pills. Guess what? You're already there. You already can't sleep without pills. The only question is whether you'll be able to sleep with pills. Ask your doctor specifically about pills that are designed to help with racing thoughts and anxiety; you may find that what works for you isn't necessarily even a sleeping pill, but could be a short-acting anti-anxiety medication, most of which are not habit-forming. But even if you do end up somewhat dependent on the pills to help you sleep, I think it's better to have the option to sleep with the pills than it is where you are right now, with no option that will allow you a good night's sleep.
The combination of that stuff has reduced my sleep problems dramatically. But if those things don't work, I think you need to start thinking about really drastic, unpleasant measures, such as moving to a different apartment (even if it's expensive or a huge hassle, if you need to do it in order to sleep, then you need to do it) or giving up your sport (I know you love it, but if it's preventing you from sleeping, it's not healthy for you, and it's actually slowly killing you, because chronic sleep deprivation is really, really dangerous long-term). I'd say to try 1-3 above (and really commit to them) for at least a month. Then go see your doctor about diagnosis and medication. But if none of that works, you're going to have to consider radically changing your lifestyle.
posted by decathecting at 9:07 AM on December 2, 2013 [2 favorites]
Best answer: I have an anxiety disorder myself. I find that I have to go to a real effort to try to keep bed a relaxing space. I need to change my sheets far more often than I would for just real cleanliness purposes so that they smell nice and, more importantly, still feel crisp. I need to actually make my bed. I need nice pillows. I need relaxing sounds playing--I have some long-run MP3s of stuff like ocean sounds. These were not things I needed before I started having anxiety problems, but now they make a world of difference.
I think the non-backlit Kindle goes a long way as far as getting off the screen without having to just lay there looking at the ceiling. There's also this ancient technology called "books" that I've heard of from time to time. Knitting is an excellent thing for relaxing before bed, or there are lots of other traditional quiet-time activities to look into.
Generally, though, I think it boils down to self-care. This doesn't have to be about somehow beating yourself into being able to sleep "like a normal person". Treat yourself nicely. Do nice things for yourself. If you find certain smells relaxing, get something like a lavender linen spray or a nice candle. If you feel more relaxed after a bath, take a bath. Are there other places that you've slept better? You might not be able to move, but you can do whatever you can to make this living space more like those spaces, whether it's different sheets or different lamps or whatever. Do what you need to do to soothe yourself, and sleep will follow.
posted by Sequence at 9:19 AM on December 2, 2013 [1 favorite]
I think the non-backlit Kindle goes a long way as far as getting off the screen without having to just lay there looking at the ceiling. There's also this ancient technology called "books" that I've heard of from time to time. Knitting is an excellent thing for relaxing before bed, or there are lots of other traditional quiet-time activities to look into.
Generally, though, I think it boils down to self-care. This doesn't have to be about somehow beating yourself into being able to sleep "like a normal person". Treat yourself nicely. Do nice things for yourself. If you find certain smells relaxing, get something like a lavender linen spray or a nice candle. If you feel more relaxed after a bath, take a bath. Are there other places that you've slept better? You might not be able to move, but you can do whatever you can to make this living space more like those spaces, whether it's different sheets or different lamps or whatever. Do what you need to do to soothe yourself, and sleep will follow.
posted by Sequence at 9:19 AM on December 2, 2013 [1 favorite]
I'm a recovering insomniac. You may need to see a doctor to get a prescription. You need to get back into the habit of sleeping again, and prescription medicine will help. I initially worried about dependency myself, but getting sleep became just too important. You will however find that once you get back into the routine of sleeping you won't need them anymore. I only needed half a 7.5-mg Zopiclone pill nightly for about a week before I started getting better. Then I stopped taking it unless I had to. Knowing I had some certainly reduced the anxiety of not getting any sleep.
Of course there will be side effects, which vary from one person to another. But from experience these side effects are far easier to cope with than not sleeping. And it is essential that you follow the sleep hygiene suggestions by others.
When I was younger I treasured and cultivated the ability to fight sleep. It helped me cram during grad school, make extra money as a consultant, and hang out late with friends. It took me years to unlearn that ability, starting with giving in to sleep when I am sleepy.
posted by KwaiChangCaine at 9:32 AM on December 2, 2013
Of course there will be side effects, which vary from one person to another. But from experience these side effects are far easier to cope with than not sleeping. And it is essential that you follow the sleep hygiene suggestions by others.
When I was younger I treasured and cultivated the ability to fight sleep. It helped me cram during grad school, make extra money as a consultant, and hang out late with friends. It took me years to unlearn that ability, starting with giving in to sleep when I am sleepy.
posted by KwaiChangCaine at 9:32 AM on December 2, 2013
In addition to the excellent suggestions already posted (I find that magnesium and soothing music before bed, as well as NO SCREENS for an hour beforehand, are excellent sleep inducers) - I would suggest a sleep test.
Persistent insomnia can be a sign of sleep-disordered breathing (sleep apnea or upper airway resistance). Your body comes to expect being smothered in your sleep, so it fights going to sleep, often with racing thoughts. (Barry Krakow's book Sound Sleep, Sound Mind goes into this in detail.)
This was exactly true in my case. I was a hard-core insomniac, couldn't fall asleep without pills, had racing thoughts, the whole bit. I finally put my foot down and demanded an in-lab sleep test. I had severe sleep apnea. I now have a CPAP and my sleep quality has improved by at least 80%. I have been able to cut way back on the sleeping pills.
Apnea is not just something for fat, middle-aged men. In my case and that of a good friend (we're both female) it's an airway issue. And CPAP machines are no longer something to be dreaded - my machine is wee, the size of a small shoebox, and practically noiseless. (Think of a white noise machine on the lowest setting.) I wear a comfy little nose mask and use a heated humidifier. I find CPAP to be No Big Deal at all, and so worth it for the quality sleep I get.
If you can't get or afford a sleep test - or to hold you until you can get one - try wearing a Breathe Right strip to bed. The Extra Strength kind in beige, while ugly, adheres the best. If you have a sleep-breathing issue, sometimes just opening up the nasal passages will help.
tl;dr: persistent, hard-core insomnia may have an underlying physical problem. A sleep test will diagnose one that you may have.
posted by Rosie M. Banks at 9:37 AM on December 2, 2013
Persistent insomnia can be a sign of sleep-disordered breathing (sleep apnea or upper airway resistance). Your body comes to expect being smothered in your sleep, so it fights going to sleep, often with racing thoughts. (Barry Krakow's book Sound Sleep, Sound Mind goes into this in detail.)
This was exactly true in my case. I was a hard-core insomniac, couldn't fall asleep without pills, had racing thoughts, the whole bit. I finally put my foot down and demanded an in-lab sleep test. I had severe sleep apnea. I now have a CPAP and my sleep quality has improved by at least 80%. I have been able to cut way back on the sleeping pills.
Apnea is not just something for fat, middle-aged men. In my case and that of a good friend (we're both female) it's an airway issue. And CPAP machines are no longer something to be dreaded - my machine is wee, the size of a small shoebox, and practically noiseless. (Think of a white noise machine on the lowest setting.) I wear a comfy little nose mask and use a heated humidifier. I find CPAP to be No Big Deal at all, and so worth it for the quality sleep I get.
If you can't get or afford a sleep test - or to hold you until you can get one - try wearing a Breathe Right strip to bed. The Extra Strength kind in beige, while ugly, adheres the best. If you have a sleep-breathing issue, sometimes just opening up the nasal passages will help.
tl;dr: persistent, hard-core insomnia may have an underlying physical problem. A sleep test will diagnose one that you may have.
posted by Rosie M. Banks at 9:37 AM on December 2, 2013
For the background noise specifically, I'm seconding SimplyNoise - it's an app and is also just available to use on their website if that's easier for you: simplynoise.com. It has the ability to choose between white, pink, and brown noise, and also has oscillator and sleep timer functions all available for free. Being able to switch between white, pink, and brown noise was a lifesaver for me during a summer when I was working across the wall from a LOUD construction project - brown noise is much lower and worked really well to cover up the very low-frequency industrial noises.
I have similar trouble falling asleep, especially the racing thoughts. Once I'm asleep I'm out, but it can take me an hour or two to get there, even when I'm really exhausted. I think sometimes I get so stressed about how long it takes that that in itself is what keeps me from sleeping. I brought this up to my doctor last time I was there, and he prescribed me Trazodone, which has mild sedative effects. The initial dose was 100 mg, but I've ended up cutting them in quarters - 25 mg taken about an hour before I want to go to sleep helps me fall asleep like a normal person, and doesn't give me any hangover effects in the morning (which doses of 100 mg and 50 mg did). I hope you can find what helps you - I know firsthand how incredibly frustrating this is!
posted by augustimagination at 9:48 AM on December 2, 2013
I have similar trouble falling asleep, especially the racing thoughts. Once I'm asleep I'm out, but it can take me an hour or two to get there, even when I'm really exhausted. I think sometimes I get so stressed about how long it takes that that in itself is what keeps me from sleeping. I brought this up to my doctor last time I was there, and he prescribed me Trazodone, which has mild sedative effects. The initial dose was 100 mg, but I've ended up cutting them in quarters - 25 mg taken about an hour before I want to go to sleep helps me fall asleep like a normal person, and doesn't give me any hangover effects in the morning (which doses of 100 mg and 50 mg did). I hope you can find what helps you - I know firsthand how incredibly frustrating this is!
posted by augustimagination at 9:48 AM on December 2, 2013
Oh, and to address your concern about becoming dependent on sleeping tablets - my doctor told me that he specifically prescribed Trazodone because it's non-habit-forming, especially at the very low doses I'm using. It has a half life of about 3-6 hours, so it's mostly out of your system after a decent night of sleep.
posted by augustimagination at 9:53 AM on December 2, 2013
posted by augustimagination at 9:53 AM on December 2, 2013
I've heard great things about CBT, as Lettuce-Leaves pointed out. One small thing that helps me whenever I can't sleep is not looking at the clock, which only amps up your anxiety about not getting to sleep.
I once heard a meditation teacher give this advice: remind yourself that right now, as you're lying there, everything's okay. You're warm, comfortable, you have no real problems. It's the anxiety about tomorrow, and how tired you'll be, that causes all the stress. But if you can try to keep your mind on the experience right now, maybe by focusing on your breath and feelings in your body, you'll be more relaxed, and thus more able to fall asleep.
posted by swheatie at 9:55 AM on December 2, 2013
I once heard a meditation teacher give this advice: remind yourself that right now, as you're lying there, everything's okay. You're warm, comfortable, you have no real problems. It's the anxiety about tomorrow, and how tired you'll be, that causes all the stress. But if you can try to keep your mind on the experience right now, maybe by focusing on your breath and feelings in your body, you'll be more relaxed, and thus more able to fall asleep.
posted by swheatie at 9:55 AM on December 2, 2013
One small thing that helps me whenever I can't sleep is not looking at the clock, which only amps up your anxiety about not getting to sleep
Repeated for truth. My husband is also a terrible sleeper, only his problem is around waking up in the middle of the night and not being able to get back to sleep. Looking at the clock, seeing what time it was, made him keep thinking about how many hours until he had to get up, how many hours of sleep he would get if he fell asleep immediately, etc. He made sure the alarm was correctly set and then put a piece of electrical tape over the time. When he woke up in the middle of the night he couldn't see what time it was and didn't stress so much, and had much better luck falling asleep.
Another thing that helped my husband is just accepting that he sucks at sleeping. He always has been and he probably always will be. He knows that sometimes he is going to have a crap night's sleep, he is going to wake up at 3am and not be able to get back to sleep. For whatever reason March is a particularly terrible sleep-month for him, he is always awake a lot and has a lot of trouble staying asleep. He has accepted this, but with the belief/understanding that while not optimal he has always managed to function at work (and in life) on those days after a terrible night sleep. It sucks, it is frustrating, but it clearly isn't the end of the world. He may wish in the moment that he could fall back asleep, but he always reminds himself that even if he doesn't manage to get back to sleep he usually still has a totally fine day. The sort to zen acceptance of having a crap night's sleep has chilled him out a lot and frankly has helped him be able to fall back asleep more often (go figure).
posted by PuppetMcSockerson at 10:03 AM on December 2, 2013
Repeated for truth. My husband is also a terrible sleeper, only his problem is around waking up in the middle of the night and not being able to get back to sleep. Looking at the clock, seeing what time it was, made him keep thinking about how many hours until he had to get up, how many hours of sleep he would get if he fell asleep immediately, etc. He made sure the alarm was correctly set and then put a piece of electrical tape over the time. When he woke up in the middle of the night he couldn't see what time it was and didn't stress so much, and had much better luck falling asleep.
Another thing that helped my husband is just accepting that he sucks at sleeping. He always has been and he probably always will be. He knows that sometimes he is going to have a crap night's sleep, he is going to wake up at 3am and not be able to get back to sleep. For whatever reason March is a particularly terrible sleep-month for him, he is always awake a lot and has a lot of trouble staying asleep. He has accepted this, but with the belief/understanding that while not optimal he has always managed to function at work (and in life) on those days after a terrible night sleep. It sucks, it is frustrating, but it clearly isn't the end of the world. He may wish in the moment that he could fall back asleep, but he always reminds himself that even if he doesn't manage to get back to sleep he usually still has a totally fine day. The sort to zen acceptance of having a crap night's sleep has chilled him out a lot and frankly has helped him be able to fall back asleep more often (go figure).
posted by PuppetMcSockerson at 10:03 AM on December 2, 2013
Start winding down an hour before you want to go to sleep. Get in pajamas, turn the lights down, read a book or do something else relaxing. I've found that getting in bed an hour before I want to actually sleep helps me wind down.
posted by inertia at 10:28 AM on December 2, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by inertia at 10:28 AM on December 2, 2013 [1 favorite]
Audiobooks and some podcasts - the more structured ones where people are talking in panels, or being interviewed, not the kind where people are laughing and talking over each other and playing music - work better for me than anything else when I can't sleep. My problem with relaxation audios is that when I try to relax, even with help, I can't do it. But if I start listening to something I'm somewhat interested in, I find myself falling asleep. I use an old small mp3 player that I can work without looking at the screen. But I do take antihistimines or ibuprofen (or both; they seem to work better in combination, so I can take very small dosages) to help me fall asleep when I'm having problems sleeping, just so I don't get into the cycle of worrying so much about sleeping that nothing will help.
You can get Promethazine (sold as Sominex) over-the-counter in the UK.
Two very helpful reads are this AskMe thread and this Sleep Like the Dead article.
posted by still_wears_a_hat at 5:20 PM on December 2, 2013
You can get Promethazine (sold as Sominex) over-the-counter in the UK.
Two very helpful reads are this AskMe thread and this Sleep Like the Dead article.
posted by still_wears_a_hat at 5:20 PM on December 2, 2013
When I was having lots of problems with insomnia, I found I needed to do something to distract and calm my brain down enough that it wasn't worried about the insomnia anymore. For me, this was doing complicated logic problems, preferably things like samurai sudoku or pixel puzzles/hanjie. Not online though, print version with paper and pencil. Something about focusing on the logic and simplicity of numbers stops my brain from fretting over more complicated things I often can't control and lulls it into the state appropriate for sleep. Sometimes I even start to nod off doing them!
Anyway, those things might not work for you if you're not a logic problem person, but I think that's the general idea behind many of the suggestions people are making above.
I also 100% agree with not knowing what time it is. It becomes a source of stress. Block off the alarm clock display, turn off your phone, whatever you need to do. It's insidious.
The other thing that helps me is just being kind to myself and realising, okay, not sleeping now. I'll get up and make a cup of (non-caffeinated) tea or read, do something else other than lie there in bed and stress about how I'm not sleeping. Well, something other than staring at a computer/screen. Sometimes a change of scenery - even if the scenery is still the same room, just seen from a chair/sofa rather than the bed - really helps disrupt whatever's going on that's stopping you from sleeping.
Good luck!
posted by Athanassiel at 7:15 PM on December 2, 2013
Anyway, those things might not work for you if you're not a logic problem person, but I think that's the general idea behind many of the suggestions people are making above.
I also 100% agree with not knowing what time it is. It becomes a source of stress. Block off the alarm clock display, turn off your phone, whatever you need to do. It's insidious.
The other thing that helps me is just being kind to myself and realising, okay, not sleeping now. I'll get up and make a cup of (non-caffeinated) tea or read, do something else other than lie there in bed and stress about how I'm not sleeping. Well, something other than staring at a computer/screen. Sometimes a change of scenery - even if the scenery is still the same room, just seen from a chair/sofa rather than the bed - really helps disrupt whatever's going on that's stopping you from sleeping.
Good luck!
posted by Athanassiel at 7:15 PM on December 2, 2013
Response by poster: Thanks all for the responses. I'm going to try and wean myself off the screen and will invest in some audiobooks. I managed to sleep for 6 hours yesterday, and (whether it's because of the magnesium or a placebo effect) feel much better today. Will continue with my battles!
posted by pikeandshield at 12:43 AM on December 3, 2013
posted by pikeandshield at 12:43 AM on December 3, 2013
Just wanted to chime in to suggest Benadryl. It's not habit-forming and it'll help break the cycle. You might be groggy in the morning--don't take it in the middle of the night. If you get psychologically dependent on it (taking it because you're afraid you won't be able to sleep without it) you can step down from 2 pills to 1 to half.
posted by elizeh at 6:32 AM on December 3, 2013
posted by elizeh at 6:32 AM on December 3, 2013
This thread is closed to new comments.
1. The computer right before bed is a big no-no. If nothing else, at least don't use the computer in bed - even though you're in a one-room apartment, you can still preserve the bed as "sleep only" by keeping your computer at your desk and sitting there to use it rather than using it in bed. That more permanently establishes "bed is for sleeping" in your lizard brain.
2. Melatonin didn't work worth a dick for me anyway. But what did help a lot - and still does - is magnesium. Someone in here recommended it, and it works a treat for me. It especially helps stop you from waking up in the middle of the night; I also noticed that even on the nights when I do only get 6 hours of sleep (and those still do occasionally happen), they are a really good 6 hours.
3. The playlist I assembled after this askme is magic. I still use it when I'm especially wound up at bedtime and it still works amazingly well - it still can put me to sleep after only 20 minutes. I have it on my iPad now instead of a CD, and set it to play through with the volume on fairly low and then it just stops when it's done, and I'm asleep and happy. That may also help with the noise pollution factor.
Good luck.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:35 AM on December 2, 2013 [4 favorites]