Help me nurse myself back (sorry) to health.
October 17, 2013 4:58 AM Subscribe
I have been suffering for some time with an extruded disc in my lower back, and am scheduled for surgery (discectomy) on Monday morning. I'll be off work for 6 weeks, and will be staying with my Mum in my hometown until I'm well. I am hoping for suggestions on how to best help my physical recovery, and also to stop myself being bored out of my brain.
As far as I know I will be bedbound for the first week, and then will be gradually healing and taking gentle exercise. I'm planning to take my Mum's dog for short walks twice a day once I'm able, and I'm sure I'll be getting some aftercare advice / physio from the hospital. Apart from that I'm going to be pretty much stuck in the house, and my Mum tends to be out and about so I'll be on my own quite a bit apart from the odd visitor. I'm also going through a very difficult time in my personal life (previously) which isn't helping my mental attitude, and is also the reason why I'm staying with Mum for my recovery. I'm a bit nervous about this as although we have a good relationship now, we had an extremely difficult relationship while I was growing up (she is very overbearing, I like my space among other issues) and I moved out at 18 nearly 20 years ago. I'm worried that being back home will make us revert to an unhealthy dynamic (she is pretty much the only person who I lose my temper with because she can be so frustrating, although I love her to bits, which then leaves me feeling guilty) and I can't cope with that right now.
What I would like suggestions on is:
- What is the best way to gently aid the healing process?
- What can I do to occupy myself, especially the early stages when I'll be in bed? (behave)
- As I'll have time for once, can you specifically suggest any books / mp3s that could be helpful in dealing with my relationship issues and/or learning about meditation?
- What's the best way to manage living back at home as an adult under "my house/my rules" conditions?
Many thanks.
As far as I know I will be bedbound for the first week, and then will be gradually healing and taking gentle exercise. I'm planning to take my Mum's dog for short walks twice a day once I'm able, and I'm sure I'll be getting some aftercare advice / physio from the hospital. Apart from that I'm going to be pretty much stuck in the house, and my Mum tends to be out and about so I'll be on my own quite a bit apart from the odd visitor. I'm also going through a very difficult time in my personal life (previously) which isn't helping my mental attitude, and is also the reason why I'm staying with Mum for my recovery. I'm a bit nervous about this as although we have a good relationship now, we had an extremely difficult relationship while I was growing up (she is very overbearing, I like my space among other issues) and I moved out at 18 nearly 20 years ago. I'm worried that being back home will make us revert to an unhealthy dynamic (she is pretty much the only person who I lose my temper with because she can be so frustrating, although I love her to bits, which then leaves me feeling guilty) and I can't cope with that right now.
What I would like suggestions on is:
- What is the best way to gently aid the healing process?
- What can I do to occupy myself, especially the early stages when I'll be in bed? (behave)
- As I'll have time for once, can you specifically suggest any books / mp3s that could be helpful in dealing with my relationship issues and/or learning about meditation?
- What's the best way to manage living back at home as an adult under "my house/my rules" conditions?
Many thanks.
Best answer: I am one week post op from a microdisectomy for my L5-S1 and feel GREAT! I was able to walk right away (once awake from the anesthesia) and finally had no pain in my leg and butt. The incision pain was the worse-- just really tender in the lumbar region. Ice packs were my best friend then. I do have some strange pains in my legs, but have read, been told, etc, that it is a part of the nerves learning how to function again without being pissed off all of the time! I got a lot of great info and support from these forums
Depending on the procedure (micro vs non-micro), you may surprise yourself by how quickly you are able to function, get around, etc. My discectomy was minimally invasive-- 1 inch incision, no muscles cut-- just pulled away during the procedure. I am off the narcotic pain meds, still taking a muscle relaxer at night. Trying to walk 2 miles/day for rehab. My mom came to stay with me for a week, which was very helpful. I found that on the narcotics, it was hard to concentrate and read, so I watched a lot of movies/TV, surfed the web. I was so much happier since the pain was gone (trust me, I had more pain prior to the surgery than the 3 days post op!), which eased mother-daughter relations. Plus, on the narcotics, I was just so mellow-- I did not care what mom did. This morning we are prepping my apt for limiting any bending, twisting, etc. and she is going home after we see the doctor for my 1 week post op appt.
Good luck with the surgery, PM if you have any questions, need support, etc.!
posted by psususe at 5:58 AM on October 17, 2013 [2 favorites]
Depending on the procedure (micro vs non-micro), you may surprise yourself by how quickly you are able to function, get around, etc. My discectomy was minimally invasive-- 1 inch incision, no muscles cut-- just pulled away during the procedure. I am off the narcotic pain meds, still taking a muscle relaxer at night. Trying to walk 2 miles/day for rehab. My mom came to stay with me for a week, which was very helpful. I found that on the narcotics, it was hard to concentrate and read, so I watched a lot of movies/TV, surfed the web. I was so much happier since the pain was gone (trust me, I had more pain prior to the surgery than the 3 days post op!), which eased mother-daughter relations. Plus, on the narcotics, I was just so mellow-- I did not care what mom did. This morning we are prepping my apt for limiting any bending, twisting, etc. and she is going home after we see the doctor for my 1 week post op appt.
Good luck with the surgery, PM if you have any questions, need support, etc.!
posted by psususe at 5:58 AM on October 17, 2013 [2 favorites]
Do as much and exactly the exercise recommend. If they are vague, press for details.
The dog should have good keash manners. Being pulled would be bad.
posted by Lesser Shrew at 6:50 AM on October 17, 2013 [1 favorite]
The dog should have good keash manners. Being pulled would be bad.
posted by Lesser Shrew at 6:50 AM on October 17, 2013 [1 favorite]
I had an L5-S1 microdiscectomy in May, and woke up with the sciatic nerve-related numbness in my leg and food almost completely gone. Since then it's been a slower process of waiting for the odd sensations (like psususe describes) in my leg and foot to subside as the irritation in the nerve goes away.
Based on advice from others, I purchased two things before the surgery: a reacher pretty much like this (in case you drop anything while lying down/standing up that you wouldn't be able to easily pick up in the first few days after your surgery) and a raised toilet seat with arms like this. I didn't need the reacher as much as I expected, but it was handy for grabbing the remote during those first few very sore days. The toilet seat, while perhaps a little humiliating, was a very good idea especially if you expect (or find out) that you'll end up with constipation from opiod painkillers post-op. Getting down onto a toilet, and up again, can be hard when your back is sore. Here too I didn't find things as bad as expected (based on advice from others) although I really could have used this seat when my back injury was acute about 10 months before the surgery.
Speaking of painkillers, I had planned to do a bunch of reading but I wasn't in much condition to do that for the first week or so. Instead, it was quality Netflix and podcast consumption time.
My treatment plan recommended getting up and out of bed in the first few days, so if yours says something along these lines take it seriously... the more time you spend off your feet after the initial post-op period, the more slowly you will heal, and too much bed-rest will cause you to lose muscle, putting you at risk for further injury.
As far as attitude around your mother is concerned, I'm not sure what to say other than perhaps to try and address with her in advance that you have been (and will be, to some extent, painkillers notwithstanding) in considerable pain but will do your best to be pleasant; in return, you'll need her to give you space to relax and heal according to the instuctions your doctors have given you.
Good luck!
posted by onshi at 11:34 AM on October 17, 2013 [1 favorite]
Based on advice from others, I purchased two things before the surgery: a reacher pretty much like this (in case you drop anything while lying down/standing up that you wouldn't be able to easily pick up in the first few days after your surgery) and a raised toilet seat with arms like this. I didn't need the reacher as much as I expected, but it was handy for grabbing the remote during those first few very sore days. The toilet seat, while perhaps a little humiliating, was a very good idea especially if you expect (or find out) that you'll end up with constipation from opiod painkillers post-op. Getting down onto a toilet, and up again, can be hard when your back is sore. Here too I didn't find things as bad as expected (based on advice from others) although I really could have used this seat when my back injury was acute about 10 months before the surgery.
Speaking of painkillers, I had planned to do a bunch of reading but I wasn't in much condition to do that for the first week or so. Instead, it was quality Netflix and podcast consumption time.
My treatment plan recommended getting up and out of bed in the first few days, so if yours says something along these lines take it seriously... the more time you spend off your feet after the initial post-op period, the more slowly you will heal, and too much bed-rest will cause you to lose muscle, putting you at risk for further injury.
As far as attitude around your mother is concerned, I'm not sure what to say other than perhaps to try and address with her in advance that you have been (and will be, to some extent, painkillers notwithstanding) in considerable pain but will do your best to be pleasant; in return, you'll need her to give you space to relax and heal according to the instuctions your doctors have given you.
Good luck!
posted by onshi at 11:34 AM on October 17, 2013 [1 favorite]
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I might journal about all of my issues, and try and untangle my mixed emotions through writing. I'd explore my feelings about different aspects of my life. I'd envision my BEST life the life I'd love living.
As for your Mom, just go with it. You're healing from surgery, how much of a hassle could you get into? My Mom is an overbearing narcisist and I find that there are very few hills worth dying on when I'm with her. I just say, "okay you're right; how 'bout them Dawgs," and move on. At the end of the day, I know what's true for me and that's fine. I don't need her to agree with me to enjoy my life.
I'd stop dwelling on your mistakes and imperfections and what has happened in the past. Today is a new day and your life spreads out before you. Think about the things you'll be doing in the future, think about the travel you'll do. Make a list of things you want to do over the next few years. Be grateful for what you do have.
Be more light-hearted. It will help your recovery.
Good luck!
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 5:41 AM on October 17, 2013 [2 favorites]