One of my tenants is acting erratically, and I am scared
September 18, 2013 5:14 AM Subscribe
One of the tenants in my house is sending me increasingly angry and delusional messages. I don't know what to do. He is set to move out at the end of the month.
Sorry this is long, but I feel rattled.
I live in New York, rent a house in Pittsburgh that I am supposed to go back to this weekend. I got a text at about 1am this past Sunday from one of the tenants stating that the house was very cold. I happened to wake up very early on Sunday, so at about 5am I sent all three tenants the basic troubleshooting list for a cold house (check all the windows, clear the vents, proper thermostat settings). I got a e-mail that was toned with indignation (As in, I know how to check windows, thank you very much.) saying it was the furnace, that it wasn't working.
This person had threatened a property manager I had hired last month (threatened to sue him for going into his room. I'm really not sure what that was about). I referred to this fact, ("So-and-so quit because you threatened him so I don't have a property manager to handle this.") and said that if one of the guys was willing to meet the furnace guy I would call him that morning, explain the situation, then one of them could call the furnace guy to arrange a time to come over. I also said I would be home Friday and would take care of it then if none of them could meet the furnace guy.
Mentioning the property manager was a big mistake. He sent me an e-mail telling me that I think he is an idiot but he's not because (list of reasons) and he shouldn't have to justify needing a repairs like this, and he is going to sue me and the property manager because his sister is a lawyer (sending me a link to her firm) and he's made dozens of people's lives hell for violation of his civil rights for going into this room, and he has video. I've never gone into his room without reason+notification. I can't speak for the property manager, but he CC'ed me on all the notices he sent to tenants when he was entering the house.
I sent him a calm e-mail back stating that it's nothing personal, but since I'm not there I have to cover all the basics. I say that I will call the furnace guy at 10am, talk to him, then pass along his name and number via e-mail to the tenants, and then one of him could meet him. If not I will take care of it Friday. My last line of that e-mail is "Let me know if this works for you."
I receive no response all day Sunday. I do what I say I will. Monday morning I wake up to a huge rambling e-mail saying what a horrible person I am for treating tenants this way and telling me things he had taken pictures of in my room that he would use against me in court (I gave him permission to go in my room and check if the windows were closed. Another mistake.) I am utterly baffled. I send him an e-mail replying that I don't know what he's talking about, and again repeat what I did with the furnace guy. I cc the other tenants and mention that they can possibly help on scheduling something. I wonder if he's not getting my e-mails, so I send him a text Monday morning, asking if he got my e-mail and again explaining I left a message for the furnace guy and he is free to call him. He replies "No time." (List of things he is busy with). Then he says, Don't worry, I'm not going to sue you. "I just go absolutely crazy when I can't get sleep, on top of people going through my room."
I just want to get this handled, so on Tuesday morning I contact a woman I have been talking to about helping me with house things. (We hadn't yet settled the details, which is why I didn't call her from the start.) I send everyone in the house an e-mail stating that I am asking her to take care of the heat, that I hope she can do it before Friday but if not I will do it, and I will keep them all updated on the appointment times. No response from anyone.
I wake up this morning to two angry, rambling e-mails about how I just think they're all idiots and that a picture in my room is evidence that I'm plotting to take advantage of them. (The picture was a joke from a party. As for taking advantage of them, meanwhile, the guy hasn't paid any utilities for the entire time that he's lived there, which is hundreds of dollars.) "You're in over your head, you literally did everything wrong that you could possibly do. You messed with the wrong dumb dude this time." Again reiterated that it's against the law to treat tenants like this and the house is freezing cold. That I CC'ed the other tenants on the other e-mail to be hostile and so that they could see what he said about them. (He had made a disparaging remark about them.)
I simply replied that the person I hired is going to be calling the repair people today, and I will keep him updated on the times. I was debating whether to text him this information as well. I haven't been addressing or refuting any of this person's assertions.
At first I thought he was just blowing off steam. But the weird disconnect with reality (I've been working on fixing the heat the whole time. Also, the temperature during the day is in the 70s so it's not like this is the dead of winter. The continual rants about how I think he's stupid.) frightens me.
I'm supposed to go stay there this weekend for a doctor's appointment. I need to go there at the very least to pick up my car. I'm too scared to stay there. Should I just ride this out until he leaves at the end of the month? I feel like notifying the police would just set him off more. I plan to get the locks changed and change the security code after he leaves.
Sorry this is long, but I feel rattled.
I live in New York, rent a house in Pittsburgh that I am supposed to go back to this weekend. I got a text at about 1am this past Sunday from one of the tenants stating that the house was very cold. I happened to wake up very early on Sunday, so at about 5am I sent all three tenants the basic troubleshooting list for a cold house (check all the windows, clear the vents, proper thermostat settings). I got a e-mail that was toned with indignation (As in, I know how to check windows, thank you very much.) saying it was the furnace, that it wasn't working.
This person had threatened a property manager I had hired last month (threatened to sue him for going into his room. I'm really not sure what that was about). I referred to this fact, ("So-and-so quit because you threatened him so I don't have a property manager to handle this.") and said that if one of the guys was willing to meet the furnace guy I would call him that morning, explain the situation, then one of them could call the furnace guy to arrange a time to come over. I also said I would be home Friday and would take care of it then if none of them could meet the furnace guy.
Mentioning the property manager was a big mistake. He sent me an e-mail telling me that I think he is an idiot but he's not because (list of reasons) and he shouldn't have to justify needing a repairs like this, and he is going to sue me and the property manager because his sister is a lawyer (sending me a link to her firm) and he's made dozens of people's lives hell for violation of his civil rights for going into this room, and he has video. I've never gone into his room without reason+notification. I can't speak for the property manager, but he CC'ed me on all the notices he sent to tenants when he was entering the house.
I sent him a calm e-mail back stating that it's nothing personal, but since I'm not there I have to cover all the basics. I say that I will call the furnace guy at 10am, talk to him, then pass along his name and number via e-mail to the tenants, and then one of him could meet him. If not I will take care of it Friday. My last line of that e-mail is "Let me know if this works for you."
I receive no response all day Sunday. I do what I say I will. Monday morning I wake up to a huge rambling e-mail saying what a horrible person I am for treating tenants this way and telling me things he had taken pictures of in my room that he would use against me in court (I gave him permission to go in my room and check if the windows were closed. Another mistake.) I am utterly baffled. I send him an e-mail replying that I don't know what he's talking about, and again repeat what I did with the furnace guy. I cc the other tenants and mention that they can possibly help on scheduling something. I wonder if he's not getting my e-mails, so I send him a text Monday morning, asking if he got my e-mail and again explaining I left a message for the furnace guy and he is free to call him. He replies "No time." (List of things he is busy with). Then he says, Don't worry, I'm not going to sue you. "I just go absolutely crazy when I can't get sleep, on top of people going through my room."
I just want to get this handled, so on Tuesday morning I contact a woman I have been talking to about helping me with house things. (We hadn't yet settled the details, which is why I didn't call her from the start.) I send everyone in the house an e-mail stating that I am asking her to take care of the heat, that I hope she can do it before Friday but if not I will do it, and I will keep them all updated on the appointment times. No response from anyone.
I wake up this morning to two angry, rambling e-mails about how I just think they're all idiots and that a picture in my room is evidence that I'm plotting to take advantage of them. (The picture was a joke from a party. As for taking advantage of them, meanwhile, the guy hasn't paid any utilities for the entire time that he's lived there, which is hundreds of dollars.) "You're in over your head, you literally did everything wrong that you could possibly do. You messed with the wrong dumb dude this time." Again reiterated that it's against the law to treat tenants like this and the house is freezing cold. That I CC'ed the other tenants on the other e-mail to be hostile and so that they could see what he said about them. (He had made a disparaging remark about them.)
I simply replied that the person I hired is going to be calling the repair people today, and I will keep him updated on the times. I was debating whether to text him this information as well. I haven't been addressing or refuting any of this person's assertions.
At first I thought he was just blowing off steam. But the weird disconnect with reality (I've been working on fixing the heat the whole time. Also, the temperature during the day is in the 70s so it's not like this is the dead of winter. The continual rants about how I think he's stupid.) frightens me.
I'm supposed to go stay there this weekend for a doctor's appointment. I need to go there at the very least to pick up my car. I'm too scared to stay there. Should I just ride this out until he leaves at the end of the month? I feel like notifying the police would just set him off more. I plan to get the locks changed and change the security code after he leaves.
If he's threatening legal action (and it sure sounds like he's teeing it up in a backhanded sort of way), you should consider hiring an attorney, then telling this tenant to communicate with you through your lawyer.
You, of course, are sorry it had to come to this, but since he brought up legal action, it's probably best at this point for lawyers to handle it, and please do not communicate directly again.
It's possible that with only 12 days left in the month, nothing will happen and the guy is just blowing smoke, but if he does have some sort of claim against you (or thinks he does), it'd be better to have lawyered up beforehand. Save records of all the calls and communications to date, record the actions you've taken to deal with the furnace, and so on.
posted by jquinby at 5:25 AM on September 18, 2013 [2 favorites]
You, of course, are sorry it had to come to this, but since he brought up legal action, it's probably best at this point for lawyers to handle it, and please do not communicate directly again.
It's possible that with only 12 days left in the month, nothing will happen and the guy is just blowing smoke, but if he does have some sort of claim against you (or thinks he does), it'd be better to have lawyered up beforehand. Save records of all the calls and communications to date, record the actions you've taken to deal with the furnace, and so on.
posted by jquinby at 5:25 AM on September 18, 2013 [2 favorites]
There's a two way paper trail, and he's the one not paying the bills. I'd start going through a lawyer from here on out - this guy has threatened to take you to court, and you seem to have no idea what your options are beyond "obey his crazy bullshit no matter how crazy."
Also, you let this guy in your room when you weren't there?!
posted by oceanjesse at 5:26 AM on September 18, 2013 [3 favorites]
Also, you let this guy in your room when you weren't there?!
posted by oceanjesse at 5:26 AM on September 18, 2013 [3 favorites]
really sorry to hear you are dealing with this stressful situation.
keep all the emails, including and especially the notices from the guy who was the property manger before. also make sure you keep all the correspondence from the furnace guy or anyone who was coming in to perform repairs at your request so that you have a record of when, why people were entering the property.
never deal with this person over the phone. deal with him in writing.
it might be best to ride this out until the end of the month when he leaves - but if he threatens your physical safety, call the police. get a police report #. you may be dealing with someone who has a mental illness, and the normal rules of politeness are out the window. definitely change the locks and security code and inform the other tenants after his departure to notify you if he comes to hang around the property. as for this weekend, go pick up your car but stay somewhere else, such as with a friend or family member if you can. if you have to go to the house, bring someone with you as a witness so that he can't make up complaints later on (ex. you two are the only ones there and later on he accuses you of going into his room, which you never did.)
if he threatens legal action AND owes you hundreds of dollars in unpaid rent, lawyer up, send him one last email referring him to your lawyer, and make a note of (but do not reply to) any further attempts he makes to contact you directly.
posted by zdravo at 5:31 AM on September 18, 2013 [2 favorites]
keep all the emails, including and especially the notices from the guy who was the property manger before. also make sure you keep all the correspondence from the furnace guy or anyone who was coming in to perform repairs at your request so that you have a record of when, why people were entering the property.
never deal with this person over the phone. deal with him in writing.
it might be best to ride this out until the end of the month when he leaves - but if he threatens your physical safety, call the police. get a police report #. you may be dealing with someone who has a mental illness, and the normal rules of politeness are out the window. definitely change the locks and security code and inform the other tenants after his departure to notify you if he comes to hang around the property. as for this weekend, go pick up your car but stay somewhere else, such as with a friend or family member if you can. if you have to go to the house, bring someone with you as a witness so that he can't make up complaints later on (ex. you two are the only ones there and later on he accuses you of going into his room, which you never did.)
if he threatens legal action AND owes you hundreds of dollars in unpaid rent, lawyer up, send him one last email referring him to your lawyer, and make a note of (but do not reply to) any further attempts he makes to contact you directly.
posted by zdravo at 5:31 AM on September 18, 2013 [2 favorites]
I think you are being more than reasonable about the heat and going above and beyond with respect to transparency. Stop. Do not engage him any more. Simply have the woman talk to furnace man and do whatever is necessary without engaging him and if necessary the other housemates. Then wait it out.
As for going there this weekend, I would, but I would avoid him if possible and not engage him in a discussion about the house. If he tries, just tell him that after his letter threatening legal action, you have been advised to not discuss it further.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 5:33 AM on September 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
As for going there this weekend, I would, but I would avoid him if possible and not engage him in a discussion about the house. If he tries, just tell him that after his letter threatening legal action, you have been advised to not discuss it further.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 5:33 AM on September 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
The furnace is a red herring. Sure, have a guy look it over, but this dude is batshit and it's not safe for you to deal with him in person.
What are the other tenants saying? Can you call one of them and see if there's anything that they're freaked out about?
For sure, if you go there, go with a big dude or dudette, someone who will have your back. Get anything out of the house that he might screw up or steal.
Stay with friends and pray that he leaves in 12 days.
Also, I love the idea that he correspond with your lawyer going forward. Surely you have a family memeber who will help you out.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 5:43 AM on September 18, 2013 [2 favorites]
What are the other tenants saying? Can you call one of them and see if there's anything that they're freaked out about?
For sure, if you go there, go with a big dude or dudette, someone who will have your back. Get anything out of the house that he might screw up or steal.
Stay with friends and pray that he leaves in 12 days.
Also, I love the idea that he correspond with your lawyer going forward. Surely you have a family memeber who will help you out.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 5:43 AM on September 18, 2013 [2 favorites]
Yowch. Yet another vote for getting a lawyer involved here; you aren't going to be able to defuse this by being conciliatory and reasonable with him, or it would have worked already. Is there anywhere else you can stay this weekend, so you won't have to deal with him face-to-face?
If a lawyer is really not an option for you, the only semi-successful method I've found for dealing with irrational bluster/rage emails from my neighbours is to a) deal with people who aren't them wherever that's an option (in your case, the other tenants - whether or not they've complained about the heating or even think it's a problem, you can still work out scheduling with them, you don't have to let this guy make himself the default spokesman); b) continue to not engage with 90% of what they're saying, and stick to the facts alone. Like, "We need to fix X thing, do you have any preferences?" / 1500-word rantathon email accusing me of all sorts of nefarious motives / "I'm sorry you feel that way. Here are the options for X thing," etc.; and c) reminding myself that this is just the kind of people they are, that it's not any kind of reflection on me, and if they do end up taking things to a higher authority as they've threatened, at least all my emails look totally reasonable.
But, I really think getting a lawyer involved is the way to go here. The guy already owes you money, he has the power to damage your property or your stuff, and you can't predict what he'll do if he's convinced that you're one in a long line of people who've tried to mess with him and screw him over. Telling him to direct all communications to your lawyer instead of you might make him temporarily rage at you some more - "Well I was being reasonable, but now you've escalated this, it just proves that you're trying to take advantage of me!" etc etc etc - but in the long run a lawyer can deal with him much better than you can. That holds whether he's actually going to do something damaging, whether he's going to leave peacefully but refuse to pay you what he owes, or whether he's just going to continue blustering via email and making your life a misery.
posted by Catseye at 6:07 AM on September 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
If a lawyer is really not an option for you, the only semi-successful method I've found for dealing with irrational bluster/rage emails from my neighbours is to a) deal with people who aren't them wherever that's an option (in your case, the other tenants - whether or not they've complained about the heating or even think it's a problem, you can still work out scheduling with them, you don't have to let this guy make himself the default spokesman); b) continue to not engage with 90% of what they're saying, and stick to the facts alone. Like, "We need to fix X thing, do you have any preferences?" / 1500-word rantathon email accusing me of all sorts of nefarious motives / "I'm sorry you feel that way. Here are the options for X thing," etc.; and c) reminding myself that this is just the kind of people they are, that it's not any kind of reflection on me, and if they do end up taking things to a higher authority as they've threatened, at least all my emails look totally reasonable.
But, I really think getting a lawyer involved is the way to go here. The guy already owes you money, he has the power to damage your property or your stuff, and you can't predict what he'll do if he's convinced that you're one in a long line of people who've tried to mess with him and screw him over. Telling him to direct all communications to your lawyer instead of you might make him temporarily rage at you some more - "Well I was being reasonable, but now you've escalated this, it just proves that you're trying to take advantage of me!" etc etc etc - but in the long run a lawyer can deal with him much better than you can. That holds whether he's actually going to do something damaging, whether he's going to leave peacefully but refuse to pay you what he owes, or whether he's just going to continue blustering via email and making your life a misery.
posted by Catseye at 6:07 AM on September 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
Honestly, this guy sounds pretty harmless to me. If you haven't heard anything from the other tenants about them being concerned about his behavior, I would just be patient and wait him out. Stay somewhere else this weekend and get the furnace fixed in the meantime.
posted by jrichards at 7:10 AM on September 18, 2013
posted by jrichards at 7:10 AM on September 18, 2013
Just ignore his crap and get the heat fixed. Call his sister the lawyer if you want, assuming that is his sister, since he referred you to her. Keep your emails to a couple of sentences, if you must communicate that way. Deal with the other tenants to get the heat fixed if you can.
I hope you have it in writing that he's moving out. You may want to go ahead and discuss with the local authority, Sheriff or whoever, about what it'll take to actually evict him.
posted by Lyn Never at 7:18 AM on September 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
I hope you have it in writing that he's moving out. You may want to go ahead and discuss with the local authority, Sheriff or whoever, about what it'll take to actually evict him.
posted by Lyn Never at 7:18 AM on September 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
The only way any of this make sense is if Angry Guy is (1)fed up after other issues we don't know about, (2) a conniving bully trying to avoid paying what he owes you, or (3) paranoid to the nth degree.
1. What was Angry Guy's excuse for not paying the utilities before this furnace issue? What was your plan for recovering those funds before this all came up?
I hope you have been keeping a paper trail, invoicing him every month, and are prepared to go through your own lawyer. I think it may come to that if you ever want to recover any of the money he owes you.
If you have not been remiss in the past (have you?), you definitely don't want to get caught in that trap. If you let him strong arm you and slide on the money he owes, not only are you out that money, the other tenants will feel cheated and want their money back, too.
2. I feel like Angry Guy is going to try to get you to excuse his existing debt by complaining about the furnace issue. He seems to feel like he can intimidate others to get what he wants (like threatening the property manager).
So, have you heard anything at all from the other tenants? If not, They may have elected Angry Guy their spokesman (maybe because he has the lawyer sister), which would mean they don't feel he is being so unreasonable and are also fed up with this situation. After all, you cc'ed everyone on the emails, right?
3. The other possibility, if you haven't heard from them, is that they have no idea about any of this, and he is somehow keeping them from seeing your emails. Or, you know, he killed them all and is keeping their dead bodies in his room, which is why he doesn't want the property manager around. But that's hardly likely!
Seriously, the party pic in your room (?!) being used as evidence against you in some way sounds bizarre. I don't know if you are being evasive or the guy is just crazy, but it simply does not make sense no matter how I read it.
If things have gotten to the point that Angry Guy is rifling through your room with a camera looking for evidence to sue you or something (even though he has not paid you any utilities for months), you should definitely lawyer up.
I don't think calling the police will achieve anything, as I don't see that you can proven he has broken the law, and he hasn't made any specific threats of physical violence against you from what you have written here.
if you need your car, I would go to the house with the woman you have engaged to deal with the heat, and use the situation to introduce her to your other tenants, ideally when Angry Guy is at work. I do not think you should go to the house alone, or send her there alone if you feel this tenant is capable of violence. You may decide not to stay there for this reason.
If you find the other tenants have no clue any of this is going on, I would suggest you tell them that you are retaining a lawyer and why (just the facts, no editorializing!) so they can decide whether they feel safe staying there until the end of the month.
posted by misha at 7:18 AM on September 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
1. What was Angry Guy's excuse for not paying the utilities before this furnace issue? What was your plan for recovering those funds before this all came up?
I hope you have been keeping a paper trail, invoicing him every month, and are prepared to go through your own lawyer. I think it may come to that if you ever want to recover any of the money he owes you.
If you have not been remiss in the past (have you?), you definitely don't want to get caught in that trap. If you let him strong arm you and slide on the money he owes, not only are you out that money, the other tenants will feel cheated and want their money back, too.
2. I feel like Angry Guy is going to try to get you to excuse his existing debt by complaining about the furnace issue. He seems to feel like he can intimidate others to get what he wants (like threatening the property manager).
So, have you heard anything at all from the other tenants? If not, They may have elected Angry Guy their spokesman (maybe because he has the lawyer sister), which would mean they don't feel he is being so unreasonable and are also fed up with this situation. After all, you cc'ed everyone on the emails, right?
3. The other possibility, if you haven't heard from them, is that they have no idea about any of this, and he is somehow keeping them from seeing your emails. Or, you know, he killed them all and is keeping their dead bodies in his room, which is why he doesn't want the property manager around. But that's hardly likely!
Seriously, the party pic in your room (?!) being used as evidence against you in some way sounds bizarre. I don't know if you are being evasive or the guy is just crazy, but it simply does not make sense no matter how I read it.
If things have gotten to the point that Angry Guy is rifling through your room with a camera looking for evidence to sue you or something (even though he has not paid you any utilities for months), you should definitely lawyer up.
I don't think calling the police will achieve anything, as I don't see that you can proven he has broken the law, and he hasn't made any specific threats of physical violence against you from what you have written here.
if you need your car, I would go to the house with the woman you have engaged to deal with the heat, and use the situation to introduce her to your other tenants, ideally when Angry Guy is at work. I do not think you should go to the house alone, or send her there alone if you feel this tenant is capable of violence. You may decide not to stay there for this reason.
If you find the other tenants have no clue any of this is going on, I would suggest you tell them that you are retaining a lawyer and why (just the facts, no editorializing!) so they can decide whether they feel safe staying there until the end of the month.
posted by misha at 7:18 AM on September 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
Ugh. I'm sorry you're going through this. I agree with everyone saying not to engage him any further, it's obviously not helping and only serving to remind him that you're there and are reading his weird rants. Lawyering up sounds like a great idea if you want to play it safe, but I'm also kind of skeptical that he's actually going to take real legal action (or be able to win in the unlikely event that he did), so if it were me I wouldn't necessarily stress too much about that part just yet. I would, however, make sure you lock your room when you're back in town because he absolutely should not have access to that. I'd also be sure you've given the woman who is helping you a heads-up about this guy - it might be a good idea for her to always be there with a second person, in part for safety reasons, but also because it seems that odds are good that he'll end up with some sort of beef against her, too, so having a witness to verify what actually happens would be a good idea.
Finally, for whatever it's worth, I also rent here in Pittsburgh (East Liberty), and I'm pretty sure our heat hasn't come on once yet, but it's been fine. We've even been keeping the window right above our bed cracked all night - and I am just about the biggest wimp around when it comes to being cold. I realize every building is different, but since you're out of town atm I thought it might be worth mentioning.
posted by DingoMutt at 7:25 AM on September 18, 2013
Finally, for whatever it's worth, I also rent here in Pittsburgh (East Liberty), and I'm pretty sure our heat hasn't come on once yet, but it's been fine. We've even been keeping the window right above our bed cracked all night - and I am just about the biggest wimp around when it comes to being cold. I realize every building is different, but since you're out of town atm I thought it might be worth mentioning.
posted by DingoMutt at 7:25 AM on September 18, 2013
I am a landlord in Pittsburgh. I've dealt with similar bizarre behavior from people. You don't want crazy in your house and you also don't want further enraged crazy. Can you buy space heaters, or tell him you'll reimburse him up to $x for a space heater?
Did you get a security deposit? Does it cover the amount he owes with utilities? Don't bring that up until he's gone. Don't let him push the leave-by date past the last of the month.
posted by amicamentis at 7:36 AM on September 18, 2013
Did you get a security deposit? Does it cover the amount he owes with utilities? Don't bring that up until he's gone. Don't let him push the leave-by date past the last of the month.
posted by amicamentis at 7:36 AM on September 18, 2013
Is the lawyer link he sent you actually his sister? I'd call her with your concerns about his wellbeing. He may be off his medication, or he may just be a jerk (and so may she).
posted by Sophont at 7:37 AM on September 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by Sophont at 7:37 AM on September 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
I'd contact the sister at the firm. Say you don't think he's well. He needs help.
posted by Ironmouth at 8:00 AM on September 18, 2013 [6 favorites]
posted by Ironmouth at 8:00 AM on September 18, 2013 [6 favorites]
Can you lock your own bedroom door when you're there on Friday? You could even upgrade the door lock if the "privacy lock" option on the handle seems insufficient and he is not around.
Have you talked to the other tenants? Is it possible they are not getting your emails?
I agree the furnace issue is a separate issue from his increasingly unhinged emails. One possibility, though, is that he may be angling for a rent deduction to offset his debt. Heat is part of "habitability" in my understanding. I would ask the repair person to *test* the furnace. If it is working, ask him/her to document that in writing. If it is not, ask him/her to check for any evidence of tampering before fixing it. I would get the furnace fixed / checked as soon as possible.
posted by slidell at 8:47 AM on September 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
Have you talked to the other tenants? Is it possible they are not getting your emails?
I agree the furnace issue is a separate issue from his increasingly unhinged emails. One possibility, though, is that he may be angling for a rent deduction to offset his debt. Heat is part of "habitability" in my understanding. I would ask the repair person to *test* the furnace. If it is working, ask him/her to document that in writing. If it is not, ask him/her to check for any evidence of tampering before fixing it. I would get the furnace fixed / checked as soon as possible.
posted by slidell at 8:47 AM on September 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
You know what, this recitation of events bothers me too, and I think you should err on the side of safety. By which I mean, I really, really think you should take some steps to separate yourself from him.
I read what's going on as someone battling mental illness, who is focused on you, and who is very angry. That's enough to warrant caution and disengagement.
First, don't stay there until the tenant is gone, and be very, very watchful after he goes. Second, pick up any belongings, including the car, with an escort, preferably someone who is hefty and knows what's been going on. Third, use a buffer for any further communications -- I'd think a seasoned property manager would be best, if you can find one fast to replace the last one, and failing that your lawyer. (I would let your lawyer deal with his sister, not get yourself directly involved.) Have that person ask him to share any concerns with them, not you.
After that message to him not to contact you directly, if you get more emails or other communications, I'd get a restraining order via your lawyer. Really. If there are ANY threats to cause harm to you or your property, I'd call the police at once.
There are a lot of people with untreated mental illness, and a few are genuinely dangerous. Be careful.
posted by bearwife at 9:21 AM on September 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
I read what's going on as someone battling mental illness, who is focused on you, and who is very angry. That's enough to warrant caution and disengagement.
First, don't stay there until the tenant is gone, and be very, very watchful after he goes. Second, pick up any belongings, including the car, with an escort, preferably someone who is hefty and knows what's been going on. Third, use a buffer for any further communications -- I'd think a seasoned property manager would be best, if you can find one fast to replace the last one, and failing that your lawyer. (I would let your lawyer deal with his sister, not get yourself directly involved.) Have that person ask him to share any concerns with them, not you.
After that message to him not to contact you directly, if you get more emails or other communications, I'd get a restraining order via your lawyer. Really. If there are ANY threats to cause harm to you or your property, I'd call the police at once.
There are a lot of people with untreated mental illness, and a few are genuinely dangerous. Be careful.
posted by bearwife at 9:21 AM on September 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
You absolutely do not have to wait until an offense has been committed to call the police. If you do decide to retrieve personal items from the house, call and ask to meet them around the corner and have them escort you there. This is typically called "a standby", and officers do it regularly.
If you decide to stay at the house, you can have officers escort you there while you take a few minutes to get a feel for the situation (see if you feel safe).
You can also ask the officers to do a quick incident report stating their reason for being at the location and what they saw. This report can be entered into evidence if you end up in court. Make sure you get the report number and ask how you can get your own hard copy.
posted by 1066 at 10:10 AM on September 18, 2013 [2 favorites]
If you decide to stay at the house, you can have officers escort you there while you take a few minutes to get a feel for the situation (see if you feel safe).
You can also ask the officers to do a quick incident report stating their reason for being at the location and what they saw. This report can be entered into evidence if you end up in court. Make sure you get the report number and ask how you can get your own hard copy.
posted by 1066 at 10:10 AM on September 18, 2013 [2 favorites]
Are utilities included in the rent? Either way, we have a rule in my state that you can't shut off the heat for refusal to pay. Also, in my state, heat is required to be available Oct-Jun, so check the laws if you haven't already. It could start in September in yours.
Yes, he sounds off. So I'd follow the advice others are giving. But make sure you're following the law. I'd be mad (though I wouldn't express it like this) if my heat were off during a heat required month and my landlord waited a week to fix it.
posted by dovesandstones at 10:58 AM on September 18, 2013
Yes, he sounds off. So I'd follow the advice others are giving. But make sure you're following the law. I'd be mad (though I wouldn't express it like this) if my heat were off during a heat required month and my landlord waited a week to fix it.
posted by dovesandstones at 10:58 AM on September 18, 2013
This guy is definitely out of line; however, I wouldn't go as far as to say he "needs help." Although it sounds like you've been a responsible and responsive landlord, I can tell you from going through a dozen landlords myself, that this is most definitely not always (and not usually) the case. There is a good chance he has had a bad experience with at least one landlord and/or property manager in the past. It is indeed against the law to enter his room without permission (you mentioned reason and notice, but did he tell you that was ok?). When I was in college, utility men showed up to our house without announcement and stomped upstairs. Again, this is illegal. People are entitled to their privacy, and I am sure the incident with the property manager in his room previously has fueled his indignation. Also, to be fair, being cold sucks all the time, but especially in your own residence, and I'm sure the temperature drops at night. In general, I get the sense he is trying to protect himself from being taken advantage of by someone with authority (you) - he may consider your "neglect" or "untimeliness" (from his perspective) unfair.
I think he is truly treating you unfairly, but to answer your overall question, I don't think you should be worried. Although you wouldn't be able to tell until it's too late, I think he is giving you empty threats. He even stated later he wasn't going to sue you. He's emotional, but not dangerous. If he's moving out next month, I'd just let it go.
posted by goblue_est1817 at 1:56 PM on September 18, 2013
I think he is truly treating you unfairly, but to answer your overall question, I don't think you should be worried. Although you wouldn't be able to tell until it's too late, I think he is giving you empty threats. He even stated later he wasn't going to sue you. He's emotional, but not dangerous. If he's moving out next month, I'd just let it go.
posted by goblue_est1817 at 1:56 PM on September 18, 2013
Seconding jrichards. Respond to the guy's complaints and wait him out. If he doesn't leave on time, lawyer up. Consider paying him to move out. It's can be the easiest way to get rid of someone.
posted by cnc at 3:14 PM on September 18, 2013
posted by cnc at 3:14 PM on September 18, 2013
IANAL. I used to be a landlord. Talk to the other tenants. He sounds like he's manic, and you should see if he has been acting this crazy with them and if they feel safe. Also, make sure they aren't really cold. Your landlord-ish behavior is reasonable, so I don't think you'll be sued successfully. But if yu have reason to believe he's dangerous, you have a responsibility to him and to the other tenants.
posted by theora55 at 5:49 PM on September 18, 2013
posted by theora55 at 5:49 PM on September 18, 2013
Response by poster: Thanks to all who gave advice, sympathy, concern, etc.
Just an update: The heat was fixed on Friday morning. I haven't heard a peep out of him since. I did not stay at the house or even go there to pick up my car. If problems persist after he leaves next week I will escalate to the sister, an attorney, police, etc. but for now I'm just laying low and hoping that he leaves me alone and leaves the property quietly.
posted by unannihilated at 5:49 AM on September 23, 2013 [1 favorite]
Just an update: The heat was fixed on Friday morning. I haven't heard a peep out of him since. I did not stay at the house or even go there to pick up my car. If problems persist after he leaves next week I will escalate to the sister, an attorney, police, etc. but for now I'm just laying low and hoping that he leaves me alone and leaves the property quietly.
posted by unannihilated at 5:49 AM on September 23, 2013 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: In the event that anyone is still following this drama, he moved out on schedule but is now threatening to take me to court unless I return the deposit.
posted by unannihilated at 1:17 PM on October 3, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by unannihilated at 1:17 PM on October 3, 2013 [1 favorite]
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by mareli at 5:24 AM on September 18, 2013 [2 favorites]