Peers in PDX
August 14, 2013 3:59 PM Subscribe
I'm moving across the country! What resources should I use to make friends in the Portland, OR area? More details inside...
Hello! I've been lurking for a while but this is my first post here. I'm a 24-year-old male who is about to move across the country, from Austin, TX, to Portland, OR (technically Vancouver, WA, but that could be relatively short-term). I've been applying for a lot of jobs in the area, and I've found someone to stay with while looking for work locally. I know finding a job there is a big challenge, and it's going to continue to be my top priority while I'm there. But if it does work out and I'm not economically forced to move back with my family in Austin, I'm just wondering, how should I go about making friends and *gasp* building community in the PDX area? I've always had friends, but I've never really felt part of a "community" per se. And I don't have much in the way of social connections in Portland already. Here are some things about me that may help with an answer:
- I don't want to hang out with stereotypical, middle-class white people who care mainly about security, family, and preserving the status quo. No offense to anyone here...
- I want to focus on living a healthy lifestyle, and not doing too much in the way of drinking or drug use or binging on food. I lost about 60 pounds last year and I've been at a plateau for a while, so I want to start making more progress with that. But I'm not really a "fitness" type of person so I'm not comfortable hanging out with hardcore gym types who spit on everyone who doesn't want to wake up at 6am for a CrossFit class every morning. And I'm vegetarian, so I'm looking for environments friendly to that.
- I'm a huge music aficionado and I love collecting new music and going to shows, but my playing abilities and motivation to actually practice and create music myself could use serious improvement.
- I enjoy occult things like astrology, Tarot, paranormal studies, dark mysteries of all kinds. I wouldn't mind meeting more people who are into this kind of stuff, as long as they aren't too new-agey.
- I guess you could say I'm queer? I've felt that I was bisexual since I was in my early teens. My dating/sexual experience is mostly with men, but I've always been uncomfortable with the idea of anal sex so I've never had anything really serious or long-term happen there. I've never had a sexual relationship with a woman, but I would like to if she was open-minded enough to want me as a partner. Anyway, I mention this to say that very non-judgmental GLBTQ spaces might be an option for me. Although I've always felt a little weird about being in those environments because I'm the type who would rather go to a punk or metal show than listen to Lady Gaga.
- I have some insecurity that prevents me from putting myself out there as much as I otherwise would. Not only about my abilities, but also about my appearance. I feel like I need to finish my weight loss goals before I start really opening myself up to people, and especially before dating and having sex. I'm only slightly overweight, but I still feel like it causes people to read me as nerdy, "cute," or "sweet" at best. I wanna be gorgeous and intense, damnit! I also have a history of mental issues (depression, OCD, anxiety) and doing some terrible things in my past, but I'm trying to move past that if I can and not allow it to prevent me from forming new connections, as scary and overwhelming as that is.
Does anyone have any particular resources they know of that could help me find community, or any advice? Should I wait until I get settled and work on myself more before trying to meet people? Also, I don't want to put all my faith in OkCupid and Meetup.com, even though I'll probably end up using those resources too. Thank you so much!
Hello! I've been lurking for a while but this is my first post here. I'm a 24-year-old male who is about to move across the country, from Austin, TX, to Portland, OR (technically Vancouver, WA, but that could be relatively short-term). I've been applying for a lot of jobs in the area, and I've found someone to stay with while looking for work locally. I know finding a job there is a big challenge, and it's going to continue to be my top priority while I'm there. But if it does work out and I'm not economically forced to move back with my family in Austin, I'm just wondering, how should I go about making friends and *gasp* building community in the PDX area? I've always had friends, but I've never really felt part of a "community" per se. And I don't have much in the way of social connections in Portland already. Here are some things about me that may help with an answer:
- I don't want to hang out with stereotypical, middle-class white people who care mainly about security, family, and preserving the status quo. No offense to anyone here...
- I want to focus on living a healthy lifestyle, and not doing too much in the way of drinking or drug use or binging on food. I lost about 60 pounds last year and I've been at a plateau for a while, so I want to start making more progress with that. But I'm not really a "fitness" type of person so I'm not comfortable hanging out with hardcore gym types who spit on everyone who doesn't want to wake up at 6am for a CrossFit class every morning. And I'm vegetarian, so I'm looking for environments friendly to that.
- I'm a huge music aficionado and I love collecting new music and going to shows, but my playing abilities and motivation to actually practice and create music myself could use serious improvement.
- I enjoy occult things like astrology, Tarot, paranormal studies, dark mysteries of all kinds. I wouldn't mind meeting more people who are into this kind of stuff, as long as they aren't too new-agey.
- I guess you could say I'm queer? I've felt that I was bisexual since I was in my early teens. My dating/sexual experience is mostly with men, but I've always been uncomfortable with the idea of anal sex so I've never had anything really serious or long-term happen there. I've never had a sexual relationship with a woman, but I would like to if she was open-minded enough to want me as a partner. Anyway, I mention this to say that very non-judgmental GLBTQ spaces might be an option for me. Although I've always felt a little weird about being in those environments because I'm the type who would rather go to a punk or metal show than listen to Lady Gaga.
- I have some insecurity that prevents me from putting myself out there as much as I otherwise would. Not only about my abilities, but also about my appearance. I feel like I need to finish my weight loss goals before I start really opening myself up to people, and especially before dating and having sex. I'm only slightly overweight, but I still feel like it causes people to read me as nerdy, "cute," or "sweet" at best. I wanna be gorgeous and intense, damnit! I also have a history of mental issues (depression, OCD, anxiety) and doing some terrible things in my past, but I'm trying to move past that if I can and not allow it to prevent me from forming new connections, as scary and overwhelming as that is.
Does anyone have any particular resources they know of that could help me find community, or any advice? Should I wait until I get settled and work on myself more before trying to meet people? Also, I don't want to put all my faith in OkCupid and Meetup.com, even though I'll probably end up using those resources too. Thank you so much!
About 20 of my college crew are in Portland and you sound just like most of them, to one degree or another. You're totally headed to the right place. :)
Just go to shows, check out events, do the things you'd do anyway. MeMail me if you like; a large number of my crew are musicians so at least I can make some recommendations for you. Good luck with the move.
posted by deliciae at 4:04 PM on August 14, 2013
Just go to shows, check out events, do the things you'd do anyway. MeMail me if you like; a large number of my crew are musicians so at least I can make some recommendations for you. Good luck with the move.
posted by deliciae at 4:04 PM on August 14, 2013
This is going to sound dramatic, but from what you're starting with, I think you have a hard road ahead of you and it's not entirely clear why you're choosing it. All of the things that you're seeking in Portland are in abundance in Austin as well and the two things that you know that you'll struggle finding 1) a peer group and 2) a job are much, much, much, much harder to find than you probably suspect. I always give the same advice: Don't move to Portland if you don't have a job lined up. Don't do it!
I grew up in Portland and I had deep connections in my field and I went from scraping by with underemployment -- half-time and part-time work -- to getting job offers for 3 times the salary when I started looking outside the Portland area right at the worst part of the recession. In fact, it has always been bad in the Portland area, regardless of the recession because people move to Portland for the quality of life. Portland is known for a low cost of living, but that is off-set by the depressed wages.
Moreover, Vancouver is not Portland. In many ways, it is the opposite of the Portland that you think you're seeking. The only connections between Portland and Vancouver are freeways, most of Vancouver is suburban sprawl and mass transit between downtown Vancouver and downtown Portland requires at least two transfers (and add a transfer or two on each end if you're going anywhere else) and goodness help you if you're trying to get back to Vancouver much after 11 PM via transit. Vancouver is a deeply depressing place if you don't have transportation and you don't have friends. Vancouver is the epitome of the American exurb that traps people and sucks out their soul. "I don't want to hang out with stereotypical, middle-class white people who care mainly about security, family, and preserving the status quo." You just described Vancouver. :( The dream of the suburbs.
In many ways, the conditions that create the Seattle Freeze (http://seattle.about.com/b/2013/04/10/is-the-seattle-freeze-real.htm
) are also present in Portland. People in the Pacific NW are truly friendly on the surface, but it's not like Southern culture where every Tom, Dick, Harry and Susan that you meet on the street is suddenly your best friend, sharing sports scores and lite beer and inviting you to dinner. There is too much to do! I've got hiking and skiing and my DJ gig and my photography show and I've got to make a trip to the home brew store! The Portlandiaization of Portland may change this, since there are all these new transplants like yourself, but I'm not so sure.
Meanwhile, seasonal affective disorder is for really real and people are holed up for a big portion of the cloud covered, mist driven year.
Another thing is that most Oregonians have deeply held values and traditionally have been wary of carpetbaggers (Or Californication). People will, to some degree, test you to see if you are their kind of person with similar values. Again, this is different from the South where people will call you out or throw you a "bless your heart," to tell you when you hit a sore point. In Oregon, we'll just silently write you out of our schedule and you'll never know why.
Which is all to say, you have to prove yourself and your dedication to the community. Volunteer, become involved in a neighborhood group or in an advocacy group. Test out a few sub-cultures and see if one fits (bicycle, activist, sustainable living, GBLTQ advocates.) Actually, if I'm reading between the lines correctly about why you're unhappy in Austin, you might want to check out the Q Center in Portland (http://www.pdxqcenter.org/). Next summer you could volunteer for something like PDX Pop Now when it rolls around again.
I suspect that the Unitarian Church downtown would also be a fine place to make friends. Embers on Broadway if you're into clubbing. MeetUp will be pretty active and I actually did make some friends off OK Cupid too. Seriously consider finding a couple places to volunteer and making one of those a regular weekly or more regular volunteer gig. I suspect that the music and arts scenes are pretty cliquey, but hitting the more bohemian spots in Old Town (Everett Station Lofts and Galleries is an art co-op in Old Town) for First Thursday or chatting up street vendors on Last Thursday couldn't hurt.
I know I sound dour but your story reminds me of many other stories that I'm aware of about people who thought that they were making a new start in Portland and who had mental health issues that they were trying to escape. One good thing about Vancouver is that it does have some pretty good free clinics. (http://www.freeclinics.org/
). I think that if you're going to be successful in this move that you absolutely need to have a Day One mental health plan. William Temple House may be a good place to start: http://www.williamtemple.org/. You may also have luck Googling around for sliding scale therapy in the area. Take care!
posted by Skwirl at 5:46 PM on August 14, 2013 [4 favorites]
I grew up in Portland and I had deep connections in my field and I went from scraping by with underemployment -- half-time and part-time work -- to getting job offers for 3 times the salary when I started looking outside the Portland area right at the worst part of the recession. In fact, it has always been bad in the Portland area, regardless of the recession because people move to Portland for the quality of life. Portland is known for a low cost of living, but that is off-set by the depressed wages.
Moreover, Vancouver is not Portland. In many ways, it is the opposite of the Portland that you think you're seeking. The only connections between Portland and Vancouver are freeways, most of Vancouver is suburban sprawl and mass transit between downtown Vancouver and downtown Portland requires at least two transfers (and add a transfer or two on each end if you're going anywhere else) and goodness help you if you're trying to get back to Vancouver much after 11 PM via transit. Vancouver is a deeply depressing place if you don't have transportation and you don't have friends. Vancouver is the epitome of the American exurb that traps people and sucks out their soul. "I don't want to hang out with stereotypical, middle-class white people who care mainly about security, family, and preserving the status quo." You just described Vancouver. :( The dream of the suburbs.
In many ways, the conditions that create the Seattle Freeze (http://seattle.about.com/b/2013/04/10/is-the-seattle-freeze-real.htm
) are also present in Portland. People in the Pacific NW are truly friendly on the surface, but it's not like Southern culture where every Tom, Dick, Harry and Susan that you meet on the street is suddenly your best friend, sharing sports scores and lite beer and inviting you to dinner. There is too much to do! I've got hiking and skiing and my DJ gig and my photography show and I've got to make a trip to the home brew store! The Portlandiaization of Portland may change this, since there are all these new transplants like yourself, but I'm not so sure.
Meanwhile, seasonal affective disorder is for really real and people are holed up for a big portion of the cloud covered, mist driven year.
Another thing is that most Oregonians have deeply held values and traditionally have been wary of carpetbaggers (Or Californication). People will, to some degree, test you to see if you are their kind of person with similar values. Again, this is different from the South where people will call you out or throw you a "bless your heart," to tell you when you hit a sore point. In Oregon, we'll just silently write you out of our schedule and you'll never know why.
Which is all to say, you have to prove yourself and your dedication to the community. Volunteer, become involved in a neighborhood group or in an advocacy group. Test out a few sub-cultures and see if one fits (bicycle, activist, sustainable living, GBLTQ advocates.) Actually, if I'm reading between the lines correctly about why you're unhappy in Austin, you might want to check out the Q Center in Portland (http://www.pdxqcenter.org/). Next summer you could volunteer for something like PDX Pop Now when it rolls around again.
I suspect that the Unitarian Church downtown would also be a fine place to make friends. Embers on Broadway if you're into clubbing. MeetUp will be pretty active and I actually did make some friends off OK Cupid too. Seriously consider finding a couple places to volunteer and making one of those a regular weekly or more regular volunteer gig. I suspect that the music and arts scenes are pretty cliquey, but hitting the more bohemian spots in Old Town (Everett Station Lofts and Galleries is an art co-op in Old Town) for First Thursday or chatting up street vendors on Last Thursday couldn't hurt.
I know I sound dour but your story reminds me of many other stories that I'm aware of about people who thought that they were making a new start in Portland and who had mental health issues that they were trying to escape. One good thing about Vancouver is that it does have some pretty good free clinics. (http://www.freeclinics.org/
). I think that if you're going to be successful in this move that you absolutely need to have a Day One mental health plan. William Temple House may be a good place to start: http://www.williamtemple.org/. You may also have luck Googling around for sliding scale therapy in the area. Take care!
posted by Skwirl at 5:46 PM on August 14, 2013 [4 favorites]
Everything that skwirl says, yes. A lot - yes.
Unless you're in tech, and even then, jobs are hard to come by. We're also about to head into our darkest, rainiest period in 2 months and that's a rough rough time to come get settled in here.
I know this does not sound like the most fun thing to hear, but don't! Come visit at the end of January and stay through the grey tunnel of February.
posted by msamye at 6:12 PM on August 14, 2013
Unless you're in tech, and even then, jobs are hard to come by. We're also about to head into our darkest, rainiest period in 2 months and that's a rough rough time to come get settled in here.
I know this does not sound like the most fun thing to hear, but don't! Come visit at the end of January and stay through the grey tunnel of February.
posted by msamye at 6:12 PM on August 14, 2013
Response by poster: I appreciate the responses so far. A couple of things just to clarify: I will have a car, and I don't expect to be living in Vancouver for more than a few months, if I can find any kind of job in Portland that will support me. If I can't, then I will probably return to Austin, but at this point I've already made the commitment to move up there because from what I've read, many employers will toss your résumé if you aren't local, and I have enough savings and a plan to fall back on if it doesn't work out. I'm also not doing this to escape any issues, it's mainly just to experience something new because I've lived in Austin my entire life, and I appreciate the progressive nature of the city but I'm tired of being in the same environment.
I have visited Portland twice (including recently to investigate housing options), once in October. I don't mind colder and rainier weather, nor am I particularly drawn to Southern culture.
Any other constructive comments are appreciated, even if they might not be what I want to hear.
posted by cosmicbeast at 6:26 PM on August 14, 2013
I have visited Portland twice (including recently to investigate housing options), once in October. I don't mind colder and rainier weather, nor am I particularly drawn to Southern culture.
Any other constructive comments are appreciated, even if they might not be what I want to hear.
posted by cosmicbeast at 6:26 PM on August 14, 2013
Best answer: 1. White people EVERYWHERE in Portland proper. Our kind have successfully reassimilated most of the inner city.
I have honestly seen more ethnic diversity among any given group of HP or Intel engineers than I have in the city as a whole, take that as you may.
2. The greater Portland area is actually awesome for people are into getting out being outdoorsy, without necessarily being gym rats. I have a couple of friends who belong to Mazamas, which organizes everything from mountain climbing to urban hikes. There's also rock gyms, easy access to rafting or cycling or ever so many other delightful "get off your ass" activities.
3. If Skwirl didn't make a faux pas when suggesting church-going: you can a queer friendly flavor of pretty much any denomination out here, even the Catholics. I have a friend who goes to the MCC, which is a bit on the evangelical end of things. Any of the ELCA Lutheran churches are also flying the rainbow flag.
3. Housing. Roommates are an excellent way to meet people; so are neighbors. You're around them enough that you can let your defenses down ; also enough to figure out if they're trouble. Portland in my experience has been an excellent place for house shares, especially in inner SE or NE, especially if you're interested in hanging out with musicians.
4. I don't know if any of these guys are gay, but they are definitely bears. I don't think you'll have too much trouble with the Portland punk or metal scene being welcoming.
5. Welcome.
posted by ivan ivanych samovar at 7:19 PM on August 14, 2013
I have honestly seen more ethnic diversity among any given group of HP or Intel engineers than I have in the city as a whole, take that as you may.
2. The greater Portland area is actually awesome for people are into getting out being outdoorsy, without necessarily being gym rats. I have a couple of friends who belong to Mazamas, which organizes everything from mountain climbing to urban hikes. There's also rock gyms, easy access to rafting or cycling or ever so many other delightful "get off your ass" activities.
3. If Skwirl didn't make a faux pas when suggesting church-going: you can a queer friendly flavor of pretty much any denomination out here, even the Catholics. I have a friend who goes to the MCC, which is a bit on the evangelical end of things. Any of the ELCA Lutheran churches are also flying the rainbow flag.
3. Housing. Roommates are an excellent way to meet people; so are neighbors. You're around them enough that you can let your defenses down ; also enough to figure out if they're trouble. Portland in my experience has been an excellent place for house shares, especially in inner SE or NE, especially if you're interested in hanging out with musicians.
4. I don't know if any of these guys are gay, but they are definitely bears. I don't think you'll have too much trouble with the Portland punk or metal scene being welcoming.
5. Welcome.
posted by ivan ivanych samovar at 7:19 PM on August 14, 2013
Skwirl is correct. Heed his advice.
If you have a history of mental health issues, I would seriously consider making a written plan for dealing with potential SAD (sunrise alarm clock, fish oil, exercise, checking in with a therapist, strategizing for being in touch with your family and current friends from a distance, meds, etc.). The difference in latitude between Austin and Portland is likely to hit you like a ton of bricks come November. I grew up in PDX, and there are a lot of things I love about the city but I won't live there again because of what those winters do to my mental health. It's absolutely not the "colder and rainier weather", although that certainly doesn't help; it's the sun rising just before 8 and setting at 4:30. You can easily be at work all day and not see the sun most days from mid-October to mid-April.
I would not "work" on yourself before trying to befriend people. That seems like a recipe for isolation and potentially setting the scene for a poor mental health flare up. Just go and do; there should be less talking about it.
If I were planning on returning to PDX and did not have the small base that I do, I would:
1) sign up for some classes for things I wanted to try (parks and rec, craft stores, outdoors/bike stores will frequently have programming; I would find relevant activities by googling)
2) look for volunteer opportunities for causes that interested me
3) metafilter meet ups, meetup meet ups, and other online communities. You *may* want to try the damnportlanders community on livejournal; it used to be very active, now it is less so but there may still be meet ups.
4) join clubs/activity nights (which I would find by googling)
5) asking current friends if they knew anyone in PDX and would they make an introduction?
6) scoping out my college and grad school alumni associations for meetups and or cool people to ask for coffee
7) I'm not a huge fan of twitter but I imagine there are some event feeds or restaurants or other users that will tweet out relevant/interesting events.
Thanks for the opportunity to write about this plan; I just moved to a new city and I need to put some of this into place for myself.
posted by emkelley at 7:50 PM on August 14, 2013
If you have a history of mental health issues, I would seriously consider making a written plan for dealing with potential SAD (sunrise alarm clock, fish oil, exercise, checking in with a therapist, strategizing for being in touch with your family and current friends from a distance, meds, etc.). The difference in latitude between Austin and Portland is likely to hit you like a ton of bricks come November. I grew up in PDX, and there are a lot of things I love about the city but I won't live there again because of what those winters do to my mental health. It's absolutely not the "colder and rainier weather", although that certainly doesn't help; it's the sun rising just before 8 and setting at 4:30. You can easily be at work all day and not see the sun most days from mid-October to mid-April.
I would not "work" on yourself before trying to befriend people. That seems like a recipe for isolation and potentially setting the scene for a poor mental health flare up. Just go and do; there should be less talking about it.
If I were planning on returning to PDX and did not have the small base that I do, I would:
1) sign up for some classes for things I wanted to try (parks and rec, craft stores, outdoors/bike stores will frequently have programming; I would find relevant activities by googling)
2) look for volunteer opportunities for causes that interested me
3) metafilter meet ups, meetup meet ups, and other online communities. You *may* want to try the damnportlanders community on livejournal; it used to be very active, now it is less so but there may still be meet ups.
4) join clubs/activity nights (which I would find by googling)
5) asking current friends if they knew anyone in PDX and would they make an introduction?
6) scoping out my college and grad school alumni associations for meetups and or cool people to ask for coffee
7) I'm not a huge fan of twitter but I imagine there are some event feeds or restaurants or other users that will tweet out relevant/interesting events.
Thanks for the opportunity to write about this plan; I just moved to a new city and I need to put some of this into place for myself.
posted by emkelley at 7:50 PM on August 14, 2013
Best answer: I'll emphatically second everything Skwirl and emkelley said (the description of SAD in Portland is spot on), and try to add something positive:
Hands On Portland is a great resource for finding volunteer opportunities. The Freeze is real and applies there too—I wouldn't count on making close friends through volunteering though I made... one—but it can really be the difference between holing yourself up indoors when it gets grey and having actual human communication.
The flip-side to the Freeze is that people are very friendly upfront, so you can take advantage of that. When I was new and largely alone I spent a lot of time in coffee shops and bars and was never short of people to talk to. Eventually, you start to crave deeper relationships and then it gets trickier, but again, if you'd otherwise be sitting home alone, then some meaningless chatter with a stranger for an hour is still a better option. Last time I was in town, I was happily surprised to remember that trips to shops, cafes, etc often resulted in me hanging around for at least half an hour to chat to a customer or barista. This is harder if you're in the 'Couv and can't just run out for some caffeine and human interaction, though it isn't a total wasteland—you can still get decent coffee, watch indie films, and, err, see live bands while drinking obscure sodas.
I want to focus on living a healthy lifestyle, and not doing too much in the way of drinking or drug use or binging on food.
Of course not everyone does, but a lot of Portlanders seem to deal with the grey months by eating and drinking, so it's worth being aware of that. Cheap, good food and booze is in abundance, so it can be hard to avoid socially. I was definitely less healthy living in Portland (even though I cycled and walked everywhere) than I have been anywhere else because it can be a really easy lifestyle to get stuck in if you're inclined towards such things. If you're into gaming at all—cards, tabletop, even roleplaying—there are a lot of social gaming nights you can attend, so that might be a healthier alternative. A good place to find those (and all sorts of other good things) is the Geek Portland calendar.
I feel like I need to finish my weight loss goals before I start really opening myself up to people, and especially before dating and having sex.
Do whatever you need to do, but I will say that I found Portlanders to be incredibly unconcerned with weight and appearance. Maybe that's not the case for the dating world (I was already in a relationship), but I found that though many people love the outdoors and are slimmer than much of the country, lots of people are a little... doughy and no one really cares. All that food and beer, I guess. Even people who cared what they looked like or wore seemed very non-judgemental about what others did.
posted by retrograde at 9:05 PM on August 14, 2013 [1 favorite]
Hands On Portland is a great resource for finding volunteer opportunities. The Freeze is real and applies there too—I wouldn't count on making close friends through volunteering though I made... one—but it can really be the difference between holing yourself up indoors when it gets grey and having actual human communication.
The flip-side to the Freeze is that people are very friendly upfront, so you can take advantage of that. When I was new and largely alone I spent a lot of time in coffee shops and bars and was never short of people to talk to. Eventually, you start to crave deeper relationships and then it gets trickier, but again, if you'd otherwise be sitting home alone, then some meaningless chatter with a stranger for an hour is still a better option. Last time I was in town, I was happily surprised to remember that trips to shops, cafes, etc often resulted in me hanging around for at least half an hour to chat to a customer or barista. This is harder if you're in the 'Couv and can't just run out for some caffeine and human interaction, though it isn't a total wasteland—you can still get decent coffee, watch indie films, and, err, see live bands while drinking obscure sodas.
I want to focus on living a healthy lifestyle, and not doing too much in the way of drinking or drug use or binging on food.
Of course not everyone does, but a lot of Portlanders seem to deal with the grey months by eating and drinking, so it's worth being aware of that. Cheap, good food and booze is in abundance, so it can be hard to avoid socially. I was definitely less healthy living in Portland (even though I cycled and walked everywhere) than I have been anywhere else because it can be a really easy lifestyle to get stuck in if you're inclined towards such things. If you're into gaming at all—cards, tabletop, even roleplaying—there are a lot of social gaming nights you can attend, so that might be a healthier alternative. A good place to find those (and all sorts of other good things) is the Geek Portland calendar.
I feel like I need to finish my weight loss goals before I start really opening myself up to people, and especially before dating and having sex.
Do whatever you need to do, but I will say that I found Portlanders to be incredibly unconcerned with weight and appearance. Maybe that's not the case for the dating world (I was already in a relationship), but I found that though many people love the outdoors and are slimmer than much of the country, lots of people are a little... doughy and no one really cares. All that food and beer, I guess. Even people who cared what they looked like or wore seemed very non-judgemental about what others did.
posted by retrograde at 9:05 PM on August 14, 2013 [1 favorite]
Skwirl is right, there is a Portland Freeze. It is not insurmountable by any stretch, but it requires concentrated effort, patience and a willingness to engage several different activities/groups/organizations.
Have at minimum 4-6 months living expenses saved, and that's if you're looking for relatively low-level, $9-$10 per hour jobs and can do cheap shared housing (which isn't so cheap anymore). The more you expect/need to earn, the more you should have saved. Jobs are quite competitive here, but if you can live cheaply and are willing to take most kinds of work, its not hopeless.
As far as resources....
Healthy lifestyle? Weight loss? Community? Volunteer at one of our many farmers markets.
Volunteer at Ethos, an area non-profit dedicated to providing music education to kids.
Friends of Trees and the Forest Park Conservancy are also good places to volunteer that will keep you physically active and connected to a community of folks who share many Portland-y values.
The Quest Center for Integrative Health does a lot of terrific work in the LGBTQ community. They also need volunteers. They host all kinds of wellness groups/seminars/education classes, offer low-cost/sliding scale mental health services AND!!!....they are a beneficiary of the Fabulous Red Dress Party. If you volunteer with them and can work at the party you also get in for free. And really, everyone in Portland needs to go at least once in their life.
Pretty much everyone I know has met sweeties and friends on OkCupid, including myself, both of my housemates, my landlord, 3 former co-workers etc., 2 close friends etc. You get the idea. Fuck, my housemate moved here 6 months ago and she already has more friends than I do just from OKC and joining a lesbian choir. I've found it easier to develop close relationships via professional affiliations and OKC, but volunteering has certainly helped me make casual friends and is great networking grist for the networking averse. It's also good low-stakes socializing for folks with social insecurity/extreme introversion etc.
Should I wait until I get settled and work on myself more before trying to meet people?
I don't know what you mean by "settled". If you mean that you wait until you have a job, a hot bod and no lingering mental health concerns before doing anything to develop a social life, then no. It won't work. There is no such thing as "work on yourself". There's physical activity, diet and good sleep to help you loose weight, be healthy, improve depression and anxiety symptoms. There's volunteering, joining groups, putting OKC ads up to meet people, build job connections, develop skills, improve confidence blah blah blah. But, no, there is no 'work on myself first, then have a life.'
If you move here, just be realistic and have a plan. Know exactly how long your money will last, have long lists of places to apply to before you leave Austin, be open to any type of work. Become very familiar with area housing, food and transportation expenses. Take inventory of what you are doing Now to take care of yourself physically and emotionally and make sure you have a plan to continue with that when you get here. You'll need it, especially once the invigorating newness of everything wears off and the Long, Dark, Winter sets in. If finding a job is your number one priority, getting involved with groups, organizations, people should be a close second.
PS. Don't refer to Portland as PDX your first 6 months here, or ever.
posted by space_cookie at 10:08 PM on August 14, 2013
Have at minimum 4-6 months living expenses saved, and that's if you're looking for relatively low-level, $9-$10 per hour jobs and can do cheap shared housing (which isn't so cheap anymore). The more you expect/need to earn, the more you should have saved. Jobs are quite competitive here, but if you can live cheaply and are willing to take most kinds of work, its not hopeless.
As far as resources....
Healthy lifestyle? Weight loss? Community? Volunteer at one of our many farmers markets.
Volunteer at Ethos, an area non-profit dedicated to providing music education to kids.
Friends of Trees and the Forest Park Conservancy are also good places to volunteer that will keep you physically active and connected to a community of folks who share many Portland-y values.
The Quest Center for Integrative Health does a lot of terrific work in the LGBTQ community. They also need volunteers. They host all kinds of wellness groups/seminars/education classes, offer low-cost/sliding scale mental health services AND!!!....they are a beneficiary of the Fabulous Red Dress Party. If you volunteer with them and can work at the party you also get in for free. And really, everyone in Portland needs to go at least once in their life.
Pretty much everyone I know has met sweeties and friends on OkCupid, including myself, both of my housemates, my landlord, 3 former co-workers etc., 2 close friends etc. You get the idea. Fuck, my housemate moved here 6 months ago and she already has more friends than I do just from OKC and joining a lesbian choir. I've found it easier to develop close relationships via professional affiliations and OKC, but volunteering has certainly helped me make casual friends and is great networking grist for the networking averse. It's also good low-stakes socializing for folks with social insecurity/extreme introversion etc.
Should I wait until I get settled and work on myself more before trying to meet people?
I don't know what you mean by "settled". If you mean that you wait until you have a job, a hot bod and no lingering mental health concerns before doing anything to develop a social life, then no. It won't work. There is no such thing as "work on yourself". There's physical activity, diet and good sleep to help you loose weight, be healthy, improve depression and anxiety symptoms. There's volunteering, joining groups, putting OKC ads up to meet people, build job connections, develop skills, improve confidence blah blah blah. But, no, there is no 'work on myself first, then have a life.'
If you move here, just be realistic and have a plan. Know exactly how long your money will last, have long lists of places to apply to before you leave Austin, be open to any type of work. Become very familiar with area housing, food and transportation expenses. Take inventory of what you are doing Now to take care of yourself physically and emotionally and make sure you have a plan to continue with that when you get here. You'll need it, especially once the invigorating newness of everything wears off and the Long, Dark, Winter sets in. If finding a job is your number one priority, getting involved with groups, organizations, people should be a close second.
PS. Don't refer to Portland as PDX your first 6 months here, or ever.
posted by space_cookie at 10:08 PM on August 14, 2013
One additional resource is reddit.com/r/Portland -- seems to be pretty active. If you are moving here in the fall, you are entering the most dreary, dismal time of year. Be prepared.
posted by elmay at 6:29 AM on August 15, 2013
posted by elmay at 6:29 AM on August 15, 2013
Best answer: It is difficult to find a career here, but it's not terribly difficult to find a job, and if you have any service industry experience that is a definite plus. If you're just looking for something to get by, something to pay the bills and go out on the weekends, I don't think it's as difficult to find as people make it out to be. I know several folks that have moved here recently, and though some did find it difficult to find a job at first, all of them are now employed.
Here's an online resource for Portland shows.
This is a great town to be vegetarian/vegan. The options are endless. Food Fight's Guide to Portland.
I'd recommend getting a bike if you don't already have one. It's a very bike friendly city and I think it's a great way to meet people. It would be a good way to stay proactive with your fitness goals as well.
posted by anoirmarie at 9:21 AM on August 15, 2013
Here's an online resource for Portland shows.
This is a great town to be vegetarian/vegan. The options are endless. Food Fight's Guide to Portland.
I'd recommend getting a bike if you don't already have one. It's a very bike friendly city and I think it's a great way to meet people. It would be a good way to stay proactive with your fitness goals as well.
posted by anoirmarie at 9:21 AM on August 15, 2013
Response by poster: Thanks for all of the awesome suggestions and links! I'm marking this as resolved, but feel free to MeMail me if you want to share anything else.
posted by cosmicbeast at 9:14 PM on August 15, 2013
posted by cosmicbeast at 9:14 PM on August 15, 2013
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by rtha at 4:02 PM on August 14, 2013 [2 favorites]