Explain it to him like he's a 5 year old. A 5 year old father-to-be.

May 29, 2013 2:52 AM

So I'm about 6.5 weeks pregnant right now, and immersed in crazy brain juice, nausea, and fatigue. My husband, while very well-meaning, doesn't really seem to get what this pregnancy gig is all about, and I'd like him to bone up so that I can spend more time sleeping and less time explaining why I'm tired. Help us. (snowflakes inside)

Unfortunately, he struggles with book-length resources (on pretty much any subject) and retains very little information from such things. So I'm specifically looking for resources that are article length (like, take less than an hour to get through at an average reading pace), or videos that are available online (either through YT or on amazon) that discuss the ins and outs of pregnancy. I'm not sure it's strictly necessary that they be directed at fathers-to-be, as long as they simply lay out their content/are easy to parse.

(NB: If you think that a particular chapter/set of chapters from an actual book are good, please feel free to let me know so that I can point him in that direction, but just saying, "Read What to Expect When You're Expecting!" ain't gonna work.)

Thanks!

posted by handknittedsock to Grab Bag (11 answers total)

Congratulations!

May I suggest the Alphamom Pregnancy Calendar for his reading pleasure? Or for a bit less humor, there is always the Babycenter pregnancy calendar.
posted by polkadot at 2:59 AM on May 29, 2013

This book is written specifically for him: Pregnancy for men.

It's broken into months, so he needs to spend five minutes each month reading, and that's it. He'll like it.
posted by devnull at 3:26 AM on May 29, 2013 [1 favorite]

When we were pregnant with our first, my brother-in-law (already possessed by two spawn) gave my husband My Boys Can Swim! Did a great job of explaining what I was dealing with without me having to translate.

Sorry no link; we're locked down tight here at the office.
posted by tigerjade at 4:10 AM on May 29, 2013 [1 favorite]

Congratulations! Perhaps the Pregnant Husband Tumblr might help him get a little perspective. Here are the archives. I particularly enjoy this one or this one for your current situation.
posted by k96sc01 at 6:45 AM on May 29, 2013

Is he interested? I tried to explain to my ex partner how tired anemia and allergies makes me but he chose to go with his own ideas despite the articles, etc. If he's dismissive or just thinks he's right, no books will help him.
posted by discopolo at 6:59 AM on May 29, 2013 [1 favorite]

When my wife was pregnant she got me a couple books on pregnancy and parenthood and I never read any of them. What my wife really wanted wasn't for me to be better educated, but to be helpful when she felt sick or tired. I never really cared if the fetus was the size of a walnut or the mechanism by which her feet swelled, but I did care that she was comfortable and happy. If her feet were swelling my response was to tell to sit down and I'll get dinner ready tonight, rather than to read a book about water retention.

So I guess what in saying is to re-evaluate what you actually want from your partner. Do you want a supportive partner or a book smart partner? They're not nessecarily the same thing.
posted by tylerkaraszewski at 7:17 AM on May 29, 2013 [3 favorites]

I've never been pregnant myself, but many of my friends and all my sisters have had kids. It's not a book, but it might at least provide some perspective if not some humor:

him: Why are you so tired today? You didn't DO anything!
preg: I MADE. A LUNG.
posted by yoga at 8:28 AM on May 29, 2013 [12 favorites]

"I'm sorry, I'm busy creating life."
posted by galvanized unicorn at 9:27 AM on May 29, 2013

Have you talked about taking a birthing class? The one I attended with my wife was good at informing both the moms and the dads about pregnancy, and what you can do as a partner. It was once a week for a few weeks, and it's not just about the birthing process, but the whole "growing a baby." Also, you can hear what other mothers and couples are going through, and how they're coping. Your husband can see other mothers in various stages of pregnancy, and hear how they're doing, and all the weird ways their bodies are changing.
posted by filthy light thief at 11:08 AM on May 29, 2013

Ha!

I would always say, "I'm busy making A Person over here!"
posted by jbenben at 1:44 PM on May 29, 2013 [1 favorite]

When my wife was pregnant, someone gave her The Girlfriends' Guide to Pregnancy. Although it is targeted towards the person giving birth I read it anyway because I Read All the Things and it painted a very stark, candid picture of the physical/mental changes to be expected. Of all the books I read to prepare, this one was the most useful in terms of understanding exactly what was going on. Although I had already read a few books, this book still taught me many things I didn't know (and as it turns out some things that some of my women friends who had not yet been pregnant didn't know either).

It's written in a very casual style so it's a quick easy read. You could present the relevant chapters to him in easy to digest pieces.
posted by mikepop at 6:51 AM on June 3, 2013