Help me buy a sports jacket for a 16 yr. old boy
May 26, 2013 9:52 AM Subscribe
A friend (single mom) relays that her 16 yr. old son has asked for a sports jacket. He also just joined a gym. This is great news, as he never before seemed interested in hair, clothes, looks in general.
My friend thought a trip to Century 21 would suffice; inexpensive, off the rack. I protested! (when I was 16, I saved up to buy my 1st 3-piece suit, though having NO place or occasion to wear one; MY (single) mom seemed very baffled, but drove me to the store) I bought it and felt important, older.
My friend just sort-of hears me that this is important. The son should be steered to a men's store, not just a section where the clerk was selling underwear an hour earlier, w/ informed, male (I would have been embarrassed by a female clerk) sales clerks who would give him attention and advice. There is no budget for Big Brands. Thing is, I (older male) would love to help out, but myself need advice on 1. addressing this kid's newly dawning awareness of dress and self-image w/ the respect it deserves. 2. selecting a good, affordable, jacket. He is skinny, smart, and a bit small for his age, light-skinned, dark-haired. He detects phoniness, but also knows this is new territory. He seems to be asking for something informal, casual. Could be worn w/ a decent pair of pants, maybe a tie, but also jeans. 3-season? material and style? a woman once told me jackets should DRAPE on men, not be too stiff. But shoulders, side taper, # of buttons, flaps on pockets? Any advice on style, fashion, or how to encourage him while maintaining his humor would be welcome.
My friend thought a trip to Century 21 would suffice; inexpensive, off the rack. I protested! (when I was 16, I saved up to buy my 1st 3-piece suit, though having NO place or occasion to wear one; MY (single) mom seemed very baffled, but drove me to the store) I bought it and felt important, older.
My friend just sort-of hears me that this is important. The son should be steered to a men's store, not just a section where the clerk was selling underwear an hour earlier, w/ informed, male (I would have been embarrassed by a female clerk) sales clerks who would give him attention and advice. There is no budget for Big Brands. Thing is, I (older male) would love to help out, but myself need advice on 1. addressing this kid's newly dawning awareness of dress and self-image w/ the respect it deserves. 2. selecting a good, affordable, jacket. He is skinny, smart, and a bit small for his age, light-skinned, dark-haired. He detects phoniness, but also knows this is new territory. He seems to be asking for something informal, casual. Could be worn w/ a decent pair of pants, maybe a tie, but also jeans. 3-season? material and style? a woman once told me jackets should DRAPE on men, not be too stiff. But shoulders, side taper, # of buttons, flaps on pockets? Any advice on style, fashion, or how to encourage him while maintaining his humor would be welcome.
Also, try to remember the awkward easily embarrassed nature of teenagers. Having an older, perhaps intimidating salesperson fawn on and make him the center of attention might not be the pleasant memorable experience you are aiming for.
posted by sarahnicolesays at 10:28 AM on May 26, 2013
posted by sarahnicolesays at 10:28 AM on May 26, 2013
He's 16. Keep in mind he may have VERY, very different ideas about what constitutes a "nice jacket" than you do. This may include patterns and colors that you would be aghast at. THAT'S OK.
What I would suggest you do, if you really want to be the helpful older dude friend here, is go looking around the internet and pull pictures of jackets in your price range--all styles. Show him the pics (get around 20) and ask him what he likes from those. Ask him if he saw a particular jacket style that made him want to get a jacket in the first place. Go from there.
Try not to judge him or force him into something YOU think looks better. This is about him.
posted by phunniemee at 10:32 AM on May 26, 2013 [1 favorite]
What I would suggest you do, if you really want to be the helpful older dude friend here, is go looking around the internet and pull pictures of jackets in your price range--all styles. Show him the pics (get around 20) and ask him what he likes from those. Ask him if he saw a particular jacket style that made him want to get a jacket in the first place. Go from there.
Try not to judge him or force him into something YOU think looks better. This is about him.
posted by phunniemee at 10:32 AM on May 26, 2013 [1 favorite]
Century 21 is an excellent store for good quality menswear. He will get a jacket of very high quality for a reasonable price. Their men's section has dedicated staff to work with customers.
And in any case he may completely forget about this clothing phase he is going through. He can decide to "step it up" later if he chooses (which, honestly, can be well satisfied at Century 21!), or be happy with a few decent clothes and leave it at that.
posted by deanc at 10:35 AM on May 26, 2013 [2 favorites]
And in any case he may completely forget about this clothing phase he is going through. He can decide to "step it up" later if he chooses (which, honestly, can be well satisfied at Century 21!), or be happy with a few decent clothes and leave it at that.
posted by deanc at 10:35 AM on May 26, 2013 [2 favorites]
You might have better luck at a well-curated vintage shop with a good menswear section. The vibe there is usually more teenager-friendly, and even a fancy vintage store often carries good jackets in the $30 to $50 range.
posted by Nibbly Fang at 10:37 AM on May 26, 2013
posted by Nibbly Fang at 10:37 AM on May 26, 2013
Response by poster: good points. century 21 or something informal might be a good way to browse, and think about the options.
posted by ebesan at 10:42 AM on May 26, 2013
posted by ebesan at 10:42 AM on May 26, 2013
shoulders, side taper, # of buttons, flaps on pockets
Just wondering, though-- how do you feel you are in any position to give advice if you do not know these things? The most important advice you can give is to point out that shoulder lines on the jacket should line up correctly with his shoulders, and that "bigger" sizes don't mean "better" or "more masculine." While modern adult styles are flap pockets (ticket pocket optional), 2 buttons, minimal shoulder padding, and British-style tapering/waist-suppression, styles among 16 year old teens might be quite different, and odds are he knows that a LOT better than you or I do.
And unless he really, really cares about the details, sport coats probably all look more or less the same to him. OTR at a discount store or a vintage shop should be fine, unless he has a specific vision of what he wants. The most important thing is that he understands what "fits correctly" is.
posted by deanc at 10:45 AM on May 26, 2013 [1 favorite]
Just wondering, though-- how do you feel you are in any position to give advice if you do not know these things? The most important advice you can give is to point out that shoulder lines on the jacket should line up correctly with his shoulders, and that "bigger" sizes don't mean "better" or "more masculine." While modern adult styles are flap pockets (ticket pocket optional), 2 buttons, minimal shoulder padding, and British-style tapering/waist-suppression, styles among 16 year old teens might be quite different, and odds are he knows that a LOT better than you or I do.
And unless he really, really cares about the details, sport coats probably all look more or less the same to him. OTR at a discount store or a vintage shop should be fine, unless he has a specific vision of what he wants. The most important thing is that he understands what "fits correctly" is.
posted by deanc at 10:45 AM on May 26, 2013 [1 favorite]
I might be off, but it seems like you're making a bigger deal out of this than the teen in question. Seems like maybe the kid realized he needed a jacket to go to a semi formal or something and doesn't care too much about a transformative experience? Take him to Century 21, let him pick what he likes, and make sure it fits across the shoulders correctly. That's probably all that matters for him at this stage.
posted by asciident at 10:51 AM on May 26, 2013 [4 favorites]
posted by asciident at 10:51 AM on May 26, 2013 [4 favorites]
Century 21 is a great place to start. I like Macy's too. They carry lots of good, hip brands, and he can browse the racks and get help if he wants it.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 11:02 AM on May 26, 2013
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 11:02 AM on May 26, 2013
Best answer: It's just a jacket. Making it into a Big Deal Fashion Accessory is just going to scare the crap out of the kid.
His mom was right, Century 21. Tell him the budget and let him browse to his heart's content.
posted by lydhre at 11:46 AM on May 26, 2013 [1 favorite]
His mom was right, Century 21. Tell him the budget and let him browse to his heart's content.
posted by lydhre at 11:46 AM on May 26, 2013 [1 favorite]
This is not about you. This is about this kid, and his interests, and his likes. If he wants to go to Century 21, he gets to go to Century 21. If he feels like going to Nordstrom, Bloomingdales, Macy's, or Neiman Marcus, take him there too. All that really matters is that he buys a jacket that fits him well, and that he likes and feels confident in. Please stop trying to commandeer this experience because you think it's some kind of opportunity to relive what was apparently an incredible moment in the history of your development of as a man.
posted by These Birds of a Feather at 11:56 AM on May 26, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by These Birds of a Feather at 11:56 AM on May 26, 2013 [1 favorite]
As far as I can tell, this kid has expressed no interest in shopping for a fancy suit, no interest in attention and advice from sales clerks, and no interest in using this as an experience to feel more important or older. All of those things are about you, not about him. And the fact that you think him becoming more vain is "great news," or that the sport coat and the gym are related, or that this reflects some sort of "dawning awareness" of anything other than wanting a particular piece of clothing are also all about you.
Ask the young man whether he wants a shopping trip of some sort, or whether he just wants to own a piece of clothing that might be of use to him. Listen to what he says. Then help him get what he wants, which may or may not be the same as what you wanted at his age or what you want for him now. The fact that you have no idea how a sport coat should fit or what might be appropriate for what he wants tells me that you're probably not the best person to be advising him about this. Frankly, your best bet is probably to write him a check for the amount you're willing to spend, with a note that it's for his sport coat, and then let him figure out what he wants.
posted by decathecting at 12:18 PM on May 26, 2013
Ask the young man whether he wants a shopping trip of some sort, or whether he just wants to own a piece of clothing that might be of use to him. Listen to what he says. Then help him get what he wants, which may or may not be the same as what you wanted at his age or what you want for him now. The fact that you have no idea how a sport coat should fit or what might be appropriate for what he wants tells me that you're probably not the best person to be advising him about this. Frankly, your best bet is probably to write him a check for the amount you're willing to spend, with a note that it's for his sport coat, and then let him figure out what he wants.
posted by decathecting at 12:18 PM on May 26, 2013
Maybe suggest he goes to the thrift store and rifles through the jackets. Even if he doesn't buy, he'll have an idea of fit and feel - and he just might luck into something super nice; stuff like that, if it's a good enough brand and a good enough deal, it can be worth it to go ahead and buy and then have tailored.
posted by lemniskate at 12:48 PM on May 26, 2013
posted by lemniskate at 12:48 PM on May 26, 2013
Make sure he wears the clothes to the store that he's likely to wear the coat with, and that he's already comfortable in. If he wants a casual coat, don't make him wear a shirt and tie or wool slacks.
Don't pretend that this coat is "for life", because he's surely going to grow out of it, either physically or style-wise. Spending an absurd amount of money (for him) will guarantee that he'll be uncomfortable wearing it.
If you've got anything remotely close to fitting him, even if worn out, I would recommend loaning it to him, just so he can see what he looks like in the mirror, at home, without any pressure.
posted by meowzilla at 2:06 PM on May 26, 2013
Don't pretend that this coat is "for life", because he's surely going to grow out of it, either physically or style-wise. Spending an absurd amount of money (for him) will guarantee that he'll be uncomfortable wearing it.
If you've got anything remotely close to fitting him, even if worn out, I would recommend loaning it to him, just so he can see what he looks like in the mirror, at home, without any pressure.
posted by meowzilla at 2:06 PM on May 26, 2013
Whatever you do, tell him that he needs to cut his vents and pockets.
posted by mippy at 10:01 AM on May 30, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by mippy at 10:01 AM on May 30, 2013 [1 favorite]
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