Parenting/child development books for a punk-ass kid who means well?
May 18, 2013 5:46 PM Subscribe
I know a kid who has a kid. Family friend. I'm terribly fond of him. He's 21. Baby is 3 months. He's a punk. He's cocky. He's a dude, not quite a bro. He doesn't know what the fuck he is doing. But oh my gosh does he adore his baby girl.
Kid has a few glimmers of baby-rearing-know-how. He knows the basics and is doing his best. He hasn't killed her or dropped her on her head. So this is good. He pays attention to her, tries to make sense of her. It's pretty fun to watch him try to puzzle out baby thinking and what she wants/needs. For being so clueless, he's not doing all that bad. He's seriously bright and picks up on things quickly. He doesn't have much family around to help him along. Said he's open to doing some reading.
I'd like to recommend books on child development and parenting that would appeal to a 21 year old punk ass, cocky kid who doesn't know what the fuck he's doing....but wants to. Ideas?
Thanks!!
Kid has a few glimmers of baby-rearing-know-how. He knows the basics and is doing his best. He hasn't killed her or dropped her on her head. So this is good. He pays attention to her, tries to make sense of her. It's pretty fun to watch him try to puzzle out baby thinking and what she wants/needs. For being so clueless, he's not doing all that bad. He's seriously bright and picks up on things quickly. He doesn't have much family around to help him along. Said he's open to doing some reading.
I'd like to recommend books on child development and parenting that would appeal to a 21 year old punk ass, cocky kid who doesn't know what the fuck he's doing....but wants to. Ideas?
Thanks!!
My Mother Wears Combat Boots: A Parenting Guide for the Rest of Us
posted by steinwald at 6:17 PM on May 18, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by steinwald at 6:17 PM on May 18, 2013 [2 favorites]
Not a book, but this video 'Attunement and Why it Matters' drives home the importance and value of quality interaction with infants. The speaker held my attention with his style and delivers his message in a thought provoking way.
posted by txtwinkletoes at 7:30 PM on May 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by txtwinkletoes at 7:30 PM on May 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
I was a punk rock know-nothing when I had babies, and somewhere I found out about this book and I liked it because it was as much a book about how to parent as it was a book about how to figure out how you WANT to parent:
Becoming The Parent You Want To Be
It's a little touchy feely hippie dippy but it really spoke to me and I love it.
That book deals with the first five years, specifically, and later on I'd recommend any of the books by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish, particularly How To Talk So Kids Will Listen And Listen So Kids Will Talk.
And I would love it if this young man had some sort of babywearing apparatus. My babies looooooved being worn, and one of them in particular really loved being worn by her daddy, whose voice was deeper and lying against his chest while he spoke was her kryptonite, she had no choice but to nap peacefully. There are a million possibilities from Baby Bjorns to ring-slings to wraps, and they come in pretty cool fabrics (a friend had a camouflage sling) so perhaps check out Etsy and find him something he'll enjoy using to keep the baby close while also being able to go about his daily life. Something flexible enough to wear the baby front or back or side is ideal.
posted by padraigin at 7:30 PM on May 18, 2013 [6 favorites]
Becoming The Parent You Want To Be
It's a little touchy feely hippie dippy but it really spoke to me and I love it.
That book deals with the first five years, specifically, and later on I'd recommend any of the books by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish, particularly How To Talk So Kids Will Listen And Listen So Kids Will Talk.
And I would love it if this young man had some sort of babywearing apparatus. My babies looooooved being worn, and one of them in particular really loved being worn by her daddy, whose voice was deeper and lying against his chest while he spoke was her kryptonite, she had no choice but to nap peacefully. There are a million possibilities from Baby Bjorns to ring-slings to wraps, and they come in pretty cool fabrics (a friend had a camouflage sling) so perhaps check out Etsy and find him something he'll enjoy using to keep the baby close while also being able to go about his daily life. Something flexible enough to wear the baby front or back or side is ideal.
posted by padraigin at 7:30 PM on May 18, 2013 [6 favorites]
Babies don't come with directions but they ought to! This book isn't "punk" in any way but I found it very helpful as a quick, direct and somewhat funny reference when baby had a weird rash or cough or green poo. Baby 411.
Also, the series of books by Louise Bates Ames, Your 1-year-old, Your Two-year-old, etc., are very readable and kind of just go through the stages without a lot of filler. Short and reassuring.
posted by amanda at 8:43 PM on May 18, 2013
Also, the series of books by Louise Bates Ames, Your 1-year-old, Your Two-year-old, etc., are very readable and kind of just go through the stages without a lot of filler. Short and reassuring.
posted by amanda at 8:43 PM on May 18, 2013
When you say he's a punk-ass kid, do you mean that he's got a Mohawk haircut or a zine collection or that he aligns with a particular subculture, or do you just mean that he's young and clueless?
posted by box at 8:49 PM on May 18, 2013 [3 favorites]
posted by box at 8:49 PM on May 18, 2013 [3 favorites]
I don't know if by punk you mean actually punk, but there's an amazing documentary called "The Other F Word" about old school punk rockers becoming fathers. It's not by any means a how-to guide, but if he's contemplating his identity in the context of fatherhood, he might find that some of it resonates with him.
The American Pediatric Association book that's something like "Your child: Birth to Age 5" is a great "is my baby normal?" reference. It does a good job of explaining what the milestones look like and what basic things to keep an eye on. Plus things like, my baby hasn't pooped in three days, is that okay?
posted by linettasky at 8:50 PM on May 18, 2013 [6 favorites]
The American Pediatric Association book that's something like "Your child: Birth to Age 5" is a great "is my baby normal?" reference. It does a good job of explaining what the milestones look like and what basic things to keep an eye on. Plus things like, my baby hasn't pooped in three days, is that okay?
posted by linettasky at 8:50 PM on May 18, 2013 [6 favorites]
If there isn't a book called, "A Pat on the Back for Dad," there should be and your friend should get a first edition. I know a lot of kids like this and I'd be very proud of him, as you are.
posted by aryma at 9:25 PM on May 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by aryma at 9:25 PM on May 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
I have no book recommendation. I do recommend he gets out and meets other baby parents. Parent and infant groups that meet up. Good for the kids and a lifeline for mums n dads.
posted by BenPens at 11:08 PM on May 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by BenPens at 11:08 PM on May 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
Basic infant and baby books:
What to Expect the First Year Available for $.50 on amazon. Good reference book.
Caring for Your Baby and Young Child (book referenced by linettasky above.)
New First Three Years of Life
Touchpoints
Toddler and older:
Happiest Toddler on the Block
Love and Logic
And maybe he would prefer to read online? Good websites to know about:
Ask Dr. Sears
Wonder Weeks
and of course, babycenter.com
And I think that exposure to other parents with young children is great, to see how other people do it and to know that what you're going through is within the range of normal.
posted by picklebird at 5:58 AM on May 19, 2013
What to Expect the First Year Available for $.50 on amazon. Good reference book.
Caring for Your Baby and Young Child (book referenced by linettasky above.)
New First Three Years of Life
Touchpoints
Toddler and older:
Happiest Toddler on the Block
Love and Logic
And maybe he would prefer to read online? Good websites to know about:
Ask Dr. Sears
Wonder Weeks
and of course, babycenter.com
And I think that exposure to other parents with young children is great, to see how other people do it and to know that what you're going through is within the range of normal.
posted by picklebird at 5:58 AM on May 19, 2013
Response by poster: When you say he's a punk-ass kid, do you mean that he's got a Mohawk haircut or a zine collection or that he aligns with a particular subculture, or do you just mean that he's young and clueless?
Thanks, I could have been clearer. I meant more young, clueless I'm-gonna-do-what-I-want-and-fuck-anyone-who-tells-me-I-can't macho bluster type stuff. As a teenager he got into a lot of fights and had a few arrests. Things are better for him now. He moved out of a bad family situation and is doing well in school. As I mentioned, he's very attentive to his daughter and is generally a good kid, just a little lost with being a new dad.
posted by space_cookie at 7:18 PM on May 19, 2013
Thanks, I could have been clearer. I meant more young, clueless I'm-gonna-do-what-I-want-and-fuck-anyone-who-tells-me-I-can't macho bluster type stuff. As a teenager he got into a lot of fights and had a few arrests. Things are better for him now. He moved out of a bad family situation and is doing well in school. As I mentioned, he's very attentive to his daughter and is generally a good kid, just a little lost with being a new dad.
posted by space_cookie at 7:18 PM on May 19, 2013
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What Every Parent Wants to Know
A top-10 list
How to Get the Best from Your Children
Also, highly recommend the SuperNanny videos; get them on eBay, or used on Amazon.
posted by Vibrissae at 6:08 PM on May 18, 2013 [1 favorite]