I just interviewed for a job and I have no idea if I want it or not.
May 13, 2013 4:13 PM Subscribe
Assuming I got an offer for this job, how should I make my decision? What would you do?
I live in a city that I mostly enjoy which is not very close to family, but close friends are nearby. The job is in my rural hometown area just over two hours away. The major reason I applied is that spouse and I are seriously planning to expand (I might be in my first trimester right now, don't want to jinx anything). Pros are, it's close to family that could help with childcare, in a lower cost-of-living area, with a slightly higher salary. I also love "nature" and it's very nice out there. But these are the only pros. I don't feel strongly about the job itself, it's pretty much what I do now which doesn't get me any closer to my "goal" career (see my mefi history if you want to know more). The info I got from the interview and people I met didn't "wow" me. They even asked a couple of questions that really threw me off guard - 1) At the end they asked me if I would accept the job if it were offered to me, which I answered that I have been seriously considering it but would still need about 24 hours to make a final decision, and 2) If I were a final candidate they would want to speak with my current supervisor, who has no idea I applied for this.
Other negatives include: partner's job situation is 85% able to work remotely but no guarantees right now. Potential need for 2nd car would eat into the better salary. I'm at a good place with my current employer and would feel pretty crappy leaving, but because my hometown is so rural I doubt another opportunity like this would come along any time soon.
Also, considering my potential "condition", I anticipate taking new job would mean a heck of a lot of stress during pregnancy, plus not as much maternity time allowed (though if I was near parents, they could help). If I stay where I am for now, I wouldn't feel as much stress through pregnancy and could have extended maternity leave, but then being faced with full-time day care in our expensive area would get overwhelming fast.
I feel like in terms of our financial future and prioritizing care of a future child, it makes sense to take the job and move. But in terms of all the unknowns and potential stress, I'm not sure if it would all be worth it.
I'm losing sleep over this and any advice is appreciated!!! It just may be that my wishy-washy feelings were sensed in the interview and a job offer is not in the cards at all anyway!!!
I live in a city that I mostly enjoy which is not very close to family, but close friends are nearby. The job is in my rural hometown area just over two hours away. The major reason I applied is that spouse and I are seriously planning to expand (I might be in my first trimester right now, don't want to jinx anything). Pros are, it's close to family that could help with childcare, in a lower cost-of-living area, with a slightly higher salary. I also love "nature" and it's very nice out there. But these are the only pros. I don't feel strongly about the job itself, it's pretty much what I do now which doesn't get me any closer to my "goal" career (see my mefi history if you want to know more). The info I got from the interview and people I met didn't "wow" me. They even asked a couple of questions that really threw me off guard - 1) At the end they asked me if I would accept the job if it were offered to me, which I answered that I have been seriously considering it but would still need about 24 hours to make a final decision, and 2) If I were a final candidate they would want to speak with my current supervisor, who has no idea I applied for this.
Other negatives include: partner's job situation is 85% able to work remotely but no guarantees right now. Potential need for 2nd car would eat into the better salary. I'm at a good place with my current employer and would feel pretty crappy leaving, but because my hometown is so rural I doubt another opportunity like this would come along any time soon.
Also, considering my potential "condition", I anticipate taking new job would mean a heck of a lot of stress during pregnancy, plus not as much maternity time allowed (though if I was near parents, they could help). If I stay where I am for now, I wouldn't feel as much stress through pregnancy and could have extended maternity leave, but then being faced with full-time day care in our expensive area would get overwhelming fast.
I feel like in terms of our financial future and prioritizing care of a future child, it makes sense to take the job and move. But in terms of all the unknowns and potential stress, I'm not sure if it would all be worth it.
I'm losing sleep over this and any advice is appreciated!!! It just may be that my wishy-washy feelings were sensed in the interview and a job offer is not in the cards at all anyway!!!
The pros don't sound worth it, to me. More importantly you don't make them sound worth it. It sounds like you don't feel so hot about taking this job at all - I would trust your gut.
posted by bleep at 4:25 PM on May 13, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by bleep at 4:25 PM on May 13, 2013 [2 favorites]
Hm, I don't know. Childcare is EXPENSIVE and if you have family that could watch your kid enough that it would eliminate or greatly reduce that expense, I would look very seriously at that. I mean, you noted the cost of a second car, but a car payment is WAY less than the monthly cost of infant care, so your financial situation might be greatly improved if you take the job vs. staying where you are -- assuming you are indeed having a kid -- and if you want to have more than one, you probably get into the territory where you're spending more on childcare than you make, which is why people who didn't plan to do so, decide to stay home with the kids. Unless you have free childcare in the form of family. So I know it might be jumping the gun a bit if you don't even know if you're pregnant for keeps yet, but you might want to investigate the cost of childcare in your area as part of your decision-making process.
posted by rabbitrabbit at 4:35 PM on May 13, 2013
posted by rabbitrabbit at 4:35 PM on May 13, 2013
About the questions that are giving you pause.:
1) At the end they asked me if I would accept the job if it were offered to me
This is a pretty standard question, although I have usually seen is phrased as, "Is there anything that would keep you from accepting the job if it were offered to you?" It should be about figuring out if there are any dealbreakers from your perspective that they could then address before the interview is over.
2) If I were a final candidate they would want to speak with my current supervisor, who has no idea I applied for this.
This is bullshit. They're essentially asking you to jeopardize your current job to provide them with a reference. It seems really clueless and out of touch to me.
Being two hours away from family isn't really that far, but it is too far to depend on daily child care. Be really honest about how much child care you could expect from your family. If they have their own jobs, they won't be a replacement for regular child care. Even if they don't, they may not want to spend all day every day providing care for an infant.
posted by jeoc at 4:50 PM on May 13, 2013
1) At the end they asked me if I would accept the job if it were offered to me
This is a pretty standard question, although I have usually seen is phrased as, "Is there anything that would keep you from accepting the job if it were offered to you?" It should be about figuring out if there are any dealbreakers from your perspective that they could then address before the interview is over.
2) If I were a final candidate they would want to speak with my current supervisor, who has no idea I applied for this.
This is bullshit. They're essentially asking you to jeopardize your current job to provide them with a reference. It seems really clueless and out of touch to me.
Being two hours away from family isn't really that far, but it is too far to depend on daily child care. Be really honest about how much child care you could expect from your family. If they have their own jobs, they won't be a replacement for regular child care. Even if they don't, they may not want to spend all day every day providing care for an infant.
posted by jeoc at 4:50 PM on May 13, 2013
If you are truly happy where you are, I really wouldn't move. Sometimes people aren't happy where they are, are neutral or they pretend they are happy even though they are just scared of change, etc. Those people I'd say they should consider the new job. But if you're actually happy, I really wouldn't walk away from that. Finding a job with interesting work AND co-workers you like isn't easy. A "slightly" higher salary doesn't seem very compelling to me. While you're starting a new family, I might put happiness above and hold out for a job with a salary bump and looks like a better fit.
I recently had to seriously consider if I wanted a well-paying job at a prestigious organization doing work I really cared about in a city where I felt like I simply didn't belong. I know I'd go there and feel out of place the same way I did the last time I was there and I had to say, even though on paper there are a lot of reasons to do it, I don't see myself being a happy, confident person there. Tough decision as I am unemployed!
posted by AppleTurnover at 5:25 PM on May 13, 2013
I recently had to seriously consider if I wanted a well-paying job at a prestigious organization doing work I really cared about in a city where I felt like I simply didn't belong. I know I'd go there and feel out of place the same way I did the last time I was there and I had to say, even though on paper there are a lot of reasons to do it, I don't see myself being a happy, confident person there. Tough decision as I am unemployed!
posted by AppleTurnover at 5:25 PM on May 13, 2013
How much do you want to move? What other job opportunities are there in the place you want to move to?
If moving isn't a huge priority for you and/or you think you could get other jobs you might like near your hometown, I would turn down this offer. Sounds like you're not too excited about the job, and you're trading a good situation for a lot of uncertainty.
posted by chickenmagazine at 7:27 PM on May 13, 2013
If moving isn't a huge priority for you and/or you think you could get other jobs you might like near your hometown, I would turn down this offer. Sounds like you're not too excited about the job, and you're trading a good situation for a lot of uncertainty.
posted by chickenmagazine at 7:27 PM on May 13, 2013
Those both seem pretty standard questions to me-what was upsetting to you about being asked if you'd take the job if offered? I mean, they were right to wonder about this-you definitely arent sure that you want this job
And I would never want to damage someone's current employment-but I have never ever hired anyone that wouldn't let me talk to their current employer. It's the very last step of the process and I only do it for the top couple candidates, but I need that reference. I hear why you're worried about this, but I can't risk wasting all my effort hiring, huge amounts of time and money on training, for someone with significant HR concerns that I might've been able to learn about with a phone call.
posted by purenitrous at 8:11 PM on May 13, 2013
And I would never want to damage someone's current employment-but I have never ever hired anyone that wouldn't let me talk to their current employer. It's the very last step of the process and I only do it for the top couple candidates, but I need that reference. I hear why you're worried about this, but I can't risk wasting all my effort hiring, huge amounts of time and money on training, for someone with significant HR concerns that I might've been able to learn about with a phone call.
posted by purenitrous at 8:11 PM on May 13, 2013
Let me preface my advice by saying that I have five kids, so finding childcare for free is difficult. For a few years we lived waaay across town from my wife's family and they didn't ever help with childcare. It was about an hour drive from their house to ours. But then we moved across town and now live 10 minutes away and it has been a godsend.
I really can't overemphasize how much it has helped our work schedules (and my wife's sanity) having family living near us. She strongly dislikes her job, but at least she doesn't have to worry about who will be watching our little ones while the big ones are at school and she is sleeping off a night shift.
posted by tacodave at 3:51 PM on May 14, 2013
I really can't overemphasize how much it has helped our work schedules (and my wife's sanity) having family living near us. She strongly dislikes her job, but at least she doesn't have to worry about who will be watching our little ones while the big ones are at school and she is sleeping off a night shift.
posted by tacodave at 3:51 PM on May 14, 2013
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posted by headnsouth at 4:19 PM on May 13, 2013 [2 favorites]