A gift that says "I've got your back"
April 23, 2013 9:48 AM Subscribe
My SO has had a particularly rough personal patch. I said something last night that probably didn't help. I'd like to find a gift that says "Don't worry. I've got your back through good and bad.''
My SO has had a rough stretch for about six months now. He's handling the stress OK but it has resulted in me not getting quite the quality time with him that I'd like and me taking on A LOT of day-to-day responsibility. Last night, I lashed out and said some things that made him think I'll bail whenever the going gets tough (we live together.) We patched things up fairly quickly with a good conversation and plenty of "I love you's" this morning but I'm fairly certain the sting is still there. My man is not much of a talker when it comes to his feelings.
I'd like to get him ... something ... a symbol that says "I'm in it for the long haul ... good and bad." He is not a fancy guy at all. Doesn't wear any jewelry other than a watch ... He's a Levi's, Hane's socks and as many guitars as I'll allow him to buy man. Very simple. He loves the following things:
1. Classic Blues music.
2. All Philadelphia sports teams, but especially the Phillies.
3. Good food (no alcohol)
4. San Francisco
5. The beach
6. Running
I don't know if any of those things will help with a suggestion but I thought it'd be a good start. Any ideas, Mefites?
My SO has had a rough stretch for about six months now. He's handling the stress OK but it has resulted in me not getting quite the quality time with him that I'd like and me taking on A LOT of day-to-day responsibility. Last night, I lashed out and said some things that made him think I'll bail whenever the going gets tough (we live together.) We patched things up fairly quickly with a good conversation and plenty of "I love you's" this morning but I'm fairly certain the sting is still there. My man is not much of a talker when it comes to his feelings.
I'd like to get him ... something ... a symbol that says "I'm in it for the long haul ... good and bad." He is not a fancy guy at all. Doesn't wear any jewelry other than a watch ... He's a Levi's, Hane's socks and as many guitars as I'll allow him to buy man. Very simple. He loves the following things:
1. Classic Blues music.
2. All Philadelphia sports teams, but especially the Phillies.
3. Good food (no alcohol)
4. San Francisco
5. The beach
6. Running
I don't know if any of those things will help with a suggestion but I thought it'd be a good start. Any ideas, Mefites?
Best answer: He might find this t-shirt to be cute. (You said you want a gift that says "I've got your back" and I took you literally.)
posted by Dansaman at 9:54 AM on April 23, 2013
posted by Dansaman at 9:54 AM on April 23, 2013
Response by poster: Actually, I forgot to add that he also likes bad puns/jokes. The T-shirt is a great idea. Would love to hear more.
posted by nubianinthedesert at 10:06 AM on April 23, 2013
posted by nubianinthedesert at 10:06 AM on April 23, 2013
A really long, hand-written letter about your feelings for your partner and your devotion to sticking by him is something he can refer to when things get tough.
posted by xingcat at 10:06 AM on April 23, 2013 [3 favorites]
posted by xingcat at 10:06 AM on April 23, 2013 [3 favorites]
Best answer: When in doubt, say it with a mix CD.
posted by spunweb at 10:07 AM on April 23, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by spunweb at 10:07 AM on April 23, 2013 [2 favorites]
Best answer: If he likes good food, I'd just set up a dinner at a nice restaurant. When my wife and I fight, I get over it by spending time with her reminding myself of all the reasons that the fight is stupid and how much I love her. A nice dinner together would be a good way to do that.
A physical item might be construed as a reminder of the hurtful thing; dinner is a happy memory to override it.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 10:10 AM on April 23, 2013 [3 favorites]
A physical item might be construed as a reminder of the hurtful thing; dinner is a happy memory to override it.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 10:10 AM on April 23, 2013 [3 favorites]
Best answer: Non-refundable travel plans kind of far in the future? It's something to look forward to and a clear message you're in it for the long haul....
posted by JMOZ at 11:36 AM on April 23, 2013
posted by JMOZ at 11:36 AM on April 23, 2013
Best answer: You could try hand-crafted vouchers that say the following:
"This entitles the bearer to attend the 2013 World Series featuring the Phillies and a yet to be determined American League Champion with ME."
"This entitles the bearer to attend the 2014 World Series featuring the Phillies and yet to be determined American League Champion with ME."
And so forth.
Show's you get and love his passion as a fan, and that you'll be there when the times comes. Or instead of one for each season, one for the World Series a few years out?
Also, don't beat yourself up too much about lashing out. It happens in stressful times.
posted by dry white toast at 12:02 PM on April 23, 2013
"This entitles the bearer to attend the 2013 World Series featuring the Phillies and a yet to be determined American League Champion with ME."
"This entitles the bearer to attend the 2014 World Series featuring the Phillies and yet to be determined American League Champion with ME."
And so forth.
Show's you get and love his passion as a fan, and that you'll be there when the times comes. Or instead of one for each season, one for the World Series a few years out?
Also, don't beat yourself up too much about lashing out. It happens in stressful times.
posted by dry white toast at 12:02 PM on April 23, 2013
Best answer: It goes without saying, but this is awesome of you.
When I am stressed, running usually gets put to the side. The Missus put together a nice little runners care package for me: GUIs, Gatorades, runners socks (Sincerely appreciated that) various cool little things you find at a speciality running store.
posted by ACEness at 12:40 PM on April 23, 2013 [1 favorite]
When I am stressed, running usually gets put to the side. The Missus put together a nice little runners care package for me: GUIs, Gatorades, runners socks (Sincerely appreciated that) various cool little things you find at a speciality running store.
posted by ACEness at 12:40 PM on April 23, 2013 [1 favorite]
um, sex? the kind where he comes home to find both dinner and your naked body ready for consumption?
posted by I am the Walrus at 1:17 PM on April 23, 2013
posted by I am the Walrus at 1:17 PM on April 23, 2013
Get him something for running. When things go to crap at home, the first thing I lose is my running time because the time gets absorbed by other things. Supporting his running is saying that support the time he needs even if it means a bit more work for you.
It can be cheap - nice wicking running socks or a running hat are under 20 bucks.
posted by 26.2 at 3:25 PM on April 23, 2013
It can be cheap - nice wicking running socks or a running hat are under 20 bucks.
posted by 26.2 at 3:25 PM on April 23, 2013
I don't know how much you know about running and/or his particular running habits and wishes, but 99% of the time when someone gives me a gift related to one of my hobbies/obsessions it's very thoughtful of the, but it's The Wrong One and I have to be nice about it even though I won't use it.
I don't really think it matters what the thing is you get him as long as its accompanied by, "I know how what I said sounded, but I hope you know that I've got your back and I'm not going anywhere." Or something like it.
posted by cmoj at 6:27 PM on April 23, 2013 [1 favorite]
I don't really think it matters what the thing is you get him as long as its accompanied by, "I know how what I said sounded, but I hope you know that I've got your back and I'm not going anywhere." Or something like it.
posted by cmoj at 6:27 PM on April 23, 2013 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: I went with the "I Got Your Back T-Shirt" and his favorite desert (homemade oatmeal cookies). He loved both. Thanks, all.
posted by nubianinthedesert at 11:09 AM on August 29, 2013
posted by nubianinthedesert at 11:09 AM on August 29, 2013
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 9:52 AM on April 23, 2013