Fond of Fondly?

April 5, 2013 1:11 PM

What are your thoughts about the closing "Fondly," -- is it a little weird?

I like the spirit of it, but sometimes I worry that it's sort of creepy to people. What is the general consensus on it? Do you feel good when you receive a "Fondly" closing, or is it too old-timey, too cloying, too "interested"?

posted by RingerChopChop to Writing & Language (47 answers total)

I like it, depending on the context.
posted by steinsaltz at 1:11 PM on April 5, 2013

It just feels old-fashioned to me, not necessarily badly. That's about the only feeling I have about it.
posted by sockypuppeteer at 1:12 PM on April 5, 2013

It's way better than "Cheers."
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 1:14 PM on April 5, 2013 [7 favorites]

Best answer: I like it, actually.

I close with "best" and I hate myself for it.
posted by Lutoslawski at 1:14 PM on April 5, 2013 [4 favorites]

It'd be really weird in a business communication.
posted by 2bucksplus at 1:15 PM on April 5, 2013 [5 favorites]

It makes me think of fondling someone, but then, I am 12 years old.
posted by en forme de poire at 1:15 PM on April 5, 2013 [7 favorites]

Best answer: If the person you're writing to is someone you're fond of and they're okay and aware of your fondness (and reciprocate your feeling), then it's cool.

Otherwise, stick with "Regards" and "Warm Regards".
posted by inturnaround at 1:15 PM on April 5, 2013 [2 favorites]

In business I say "Regards"

If I'm corresponding with friends, I used Louis Armstrong's sign off:

Red Beans and Ricely Yours.

If I'm writing a short note to Husbunny I always sign off "I love you!"

Even if it's a quick note from the grocery store:

"I'm buying you chocolate pudding cups. I love you!"
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 1:19 PM on April 5, 2013 [2 favorites]

My mother-in-law always ends emails to me with fondly. I never really gave it much thought. Now that I think about it, I like fondly. It's a formalish closing that doesn't read as cold or rote.
posted by Swisstine at 1:19 PM on April 5, 2013

It sounds pretentious to me, but then any deliberate sign-off in an email tends to.

In a hand-written letter, it would be fine if meant earnestly and in the right sort of friendly context. Like, I don't know that I'd use it on my Christmas cards, but it could work for a thank you note.

Still pretentious bordering on obnoxious if meant passive agressively. And we all know that a great many hand-written notes are meant passive-agressively these days.
posted by Sara C. at 1:20 PM on April 5, 2013 [1 favorite]

I have a letter on my desk from a legal clerk at the NY Attorney General's office that signs off with "Very truly yours." Make of that what you will.
posted by griphus at 1:21 PM on April 5, 2013 [3 favorites]

"I'm buying you chocolate pudding cups. I love you!"

Which is redundant.

But, yes, inturnaround nails it. If there is mutual fondness, go for it. If not, use something else.
posted by Danf at 1:21 PM on April 5, 2013 [3 favorites]

To be clear, ultimately, from a close friend or family member I would think it was charming, but I think it would sound too familiar outside of that context. (I also think "warm regards" sounds a little weird, so maybe I just have intimacy issues.)

On preview, I fucking love it in a passive-aggressive context.
posted by en forme de poire at 1:22 PM on April 5, 2013 [1 favorite]

I like 'fondly', but I think it boarders on being archaic enough to seem ironic/insincere.
posted by marimeko at 1:22 PM on April 5, 2013

I think it's too weird for business and too formal for friends. I can see it being nice if received from, like, a gracious and dignified great-aunt.
posted by fingersandtoes at 1:22 PM on April 5, 2013 [1 favorite]

Anecdata: I used sign emails with "Yours," until someone responded (to a work email) closing with "Mine!" I felt silly, and reverted to "Regards," for professional emails. I'm still sad I can't use "Yours," without feeling silly, but oh well.

I think you may eventually feel the same way about "Fondly," but why not try it - life is short. And you may get a few months of pleasure out of it until some smart-ass responds with "Funkily," or somesuch.
posted by pammeke at 1:25 PM on April 5, 2013 [1 favorite]

I don't think I've ever seen it in an email. I like it, but then I like old-timey things as a rule. However, I feel like it's the sort of thing some people could get away with, and others couldn't. So maybe it's one of those "if you have to ask..." things.
posted by DestinationUnknown at 1:26 PM on April 5, 2013 [1 favorite]

I think it's a pretentious affectation in a business context. It would give me the faint sense that you care more about how you said something than what you said.
posted by marginaliana at 1:27 PM on April 5, 2013

I've been using "Kind Regards" for years in my business. People remark on it from time to time and generally seem to like it.
posted by bonehead at 1:28 PM on April 5, 2013

If I sent note to IRS, would I use fondly...Doubt it

I sometimes use:
Be of Good Cheer

sound familiar? Can you tell where it is from? It beats "cheers" any way going--cheers sounds like a drinking toast.
posted by Postroad at 1:28 PM on April 5, 2013

My two cents: inappropriate for business, totally fine for casual email.
posted by Wretch729 at 1:29 PM on April 5, 2013 [1 favorite]

Best answer: Is this email or physical letter?

Because most of us still begin personal letters and cards with "Dear _______", and what's weirder than calling someone your "dear" before you even said anything? All of those conventions are very very odd if you think about them too hard. So I see no problem with it in personal, semi-formal correspondence.
posted by drjimmy11 at 1:29 PM on April 5, 2013 [2 favorites]

I like "fondly" from friends or family. Also, "warmly." But both only in something correspondency, not a casual email (where any kind of signoff would be weird anyway).

I'm a lawyer and some variation of "regards" or "very truly yours" is common. I actually learned "warmly" from a business contact, and while I like it, I think it's weird in that context. (So is "truly yours" for that matter, but I see it all the time.)
posted by chickenmagazine at 1:30 PM on April 5, 2013

I would have to see the letter or email before commenting on its proper use.

I myself in an email just use "Johnny Gunn" or "JG". In a business letter, I use the old tried and true Sincerely because I am sincere I guess and not so much fond.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 1:38 PM on April 5, 2013 [2 favorites]

It wouldn't bother me to receive a "fondly" if it was a social correspondance. In business I use "regards," as others have stated. If it's someone with whom I also have a friendly relationship, I will occasionally add "warmest regards."
posted by blurker at 1:38 PM on April 5, 2013

I prefer Warmly to Fondly, as the latter suggests a familial/romantic connection to me. I use Warmly all the time -- I work in a friendly field with friendly people, but I haven't seen anyone else use it, and I use it when I feel... warmly. I stole Warmly from a woman who produces documentaries, and I felt an instant bond with her although I never met her in person.
posted by mochapickle at 1:39 PM on April 5, 2013

"I'm buying you chocolate pudding cups. I love you!"

If only my world included a Ruthless Bunny.

Fondly to me sounds like it's on a birthday card from your great-aunt who has a desk drawer filled with pre-bought generic niece-and-nephew cards for you and your cousins, and she signs all of them "fondly" but none of you care that she doesn't really like kids because her cards always have a $20 in them.
posted by headnsouth at 1:41 PM on April 5, 2013

If you have to ask, then yes, this is creepy. I can't see how it would be even a little creepy in the appropriate context. If you are fond of someone and they are fond of you, they might think "huh! interesting phrasing I haven't seen in a while," but they will definitely not think "creepy." But good God, do not even think of signing this in business or likewise impersonal contexts. I got one signed "warmly" this morning from someone I have never met in real life, and it made me think hell no you do not feel warmly towards me, stranger, nor do I towards you.
posted by Wordwoman at 1:43 PM on April 5, 2013

I use "cordially," because I'm a weirdo and I think old-timey sign-offs in emails are fun, and, as noted above, life is short. People are free to roll their eyes at it as they see fit. (This is only in personal correspondence. I just use "thanks!" or "best" in work stuff.)
posted by Countess Sandwich at 1:47 PM on April 5, 2013 [1 favorite]

To me, "fondly" as a closing reads either creepy, or stilted in that weird 419 email way. ("Dearest Friend, I crave your indulgence for the unsolicited nature of this letter...")
posted by Metroid Baby at 1:56 PM on April 5, 2013 [1 favorite]

I use fondly when I'm writing letters/emails to people I know well and/or that have an emotional element and are too weighty for "cheers" (e.g., if I'm sending a personal message to someone on my survivors-of-suicide email support group, whom I by default think of fondly even though I don't know them that well). I am, apparently, older-fashioned than I realized.

rolling trou' as we speak
posted by drlith at 2:01 PM on April 5, 2013 [1 favorite]

I like it as a closing for friends/family.

I dislike it for business (I always use "regards").

I kind of love it for mass mailings, PR, or otherwise general public communication.
posted by vivid postcard at 2:14 PM on April 5, 2013

I tend to think all signoffs sound terrible and awkward. ESPECIALLY the ones deemed suitable for business. And this one doesn't really sound like it works for business. I don't know who your audience is, though--that one sounds like you need a certain limited amount of closeness for it to work. "Fondly" sounds like something your great-aunt might say, but if it was your SO, it would sound kinda weak.
posted by jenfullmoon at 2:15 PM on April 5, 2013

Merriam-Webster says fondly means: "in a fond manner : affectionately "

Sounds too mushy for non friends and family.
posted by cecic at 2:15 PM on April 5, 2013

Best answer: I find it dismissive. Actually, a little passive aggressive if used when something else would be clearer.

that's me, though. and you asked. so there.


here are some alternatives:

Affectionately : i like you and am afraid to kiss you.
Fondly: i am pissed at you and you'll never see my boobs.
Sincerely: Where is my check?
Best: you're casual, but i'm open to and hoping things will escalate
Kind regards: don't be too pissed at my complaints
Yours: mine
Love: we're married and i am obligated, but you still will never see my boobs.

Engineers always have some answers. Seldom any good ones, but hey, answers!
posted by FauxScot at 2:31 PM on April 5, 2013 [3 favorites]

I think 'fondly' is even a little warmer and more familiar than 'affectionately,' and maybe a little less close than 'warmly.'

I think these three are good for very specific circumstances -- for cases where you have warm personal feelings for your correspondent but are not on terms to close with 'love.' For example, a sort of distant relative; a old family friend; a potential future parent-in-law writing to the longish-term-but-not-yet-engaged partner of their kid; an old neighbor; or (maybe) a mentor-and-friend older person who's writing to their younger protege.
posted by LobsterMitten at 2:35 PM on April 5, 2013

All three of these terms (warmly, fondly, affectionately) only make sense if your social milieu is somewhat on the formal side and appreciates the recognition of appropriate social distance (eg, old-money northeast US). If you're writing in a context where old neighbors, old mentors, etc would freely use the word 'love', then these words will seem too formal.
posted by LobsterMitten at 2:40 PM on April 5, 2013

Its not as stuffy as "I remain, your ob't servant", but I wouldn't use it.
posted by Ironmouth at 2:48 PM on April 5, 2013 [2 favorites]

This probably says more about me than the word "fondly" but when I clicked on the question I thought it was going to be about fondling.
posted by hannahelastic at 2:48 PM on April 5, 2013

Just not on anything business-related. I use "Best," (never "Cheers!" ugh) on all business-y correspondence, and whatever the hell I want for friends and family.
posted by ablazingsaddle at 3:14 PM on April 5, 2013

I write it by hand in greeting cards or notes to friends, or colleagues I like a lot, but I don't type it in emails.
posted by jgirl at 3:53 PM on April 5, 2013

I agree with this article's position that they're all terrible. I don't start my emails with someone's name (that's what the "to:" field is for), and I don't put a salutation or even my name at the bottom (except in my work email signature file).

I don't mind other people including salutations, but when they do it strikes me as old-fashioned, unless it's on a greeting card.
posted by homodachi at 4:13 PM on April 5, 2013

Response by poster: Wow! I love these responses. Thanks for weighing in, everybody! Really helps to put things in perspective. I'm seeing that a lot of people associate it with older female relatives for some reason -- very interesting. I'm female, getting older and am related to people -- so maybe I can work it with the right recipients (nieces and nephews -- get ready for some fondness!).
posted by RingerChopChop at 4:22 PM on April 5, 2013 [2 favorites]

'Fondly' may be a little old-fashioned, perhaps, but there's nothing wrong with that! I'd just keep it for family & close friends, though: stick with stuff like 'sincerely' or 'respectfully' for more formal and/or business uses.
posted by easily confused at 5:01 PM on April 5, 2013

The worst way to close anything is Best, I know someone who thinks Truly yours, means "sincerely" and I strongly disagree. I think Fondly, sounds warm and endearing. Maybe I should start using it.
posted by AppleTurnover at 7:18 PM on April 5, 2013

I think fondly is fine, assuming you have interacted with the individual more than once already and are on pseudo-familiar terms. No idea there was so much hate for "cheers" in businessy emails. Doesn't mean I'm going to stop doing it though.

Cheers,
hamandcheese
posted by hamandcheese at 7:21 PM on April 5, 2013 [1 favorite]

In certain contexts, anything more formal than "fondly" would seem to me to be disrespectful of a relationship.

I worked for someone as an adult for ten years. They have known me since I was a teenager. I still do freelance work for them off and on. Our email exchanges, most of them discussing potential or ongoing projects, are usually signed off by both parties as "Affectionately" or "Fondly."
posted by bardophile at 10:33 PM on April 5, 2013