Safety When Selling Things
February 16, 2013 3:02 PM Subscribe
I (mid-20s female) just sold a chair to someone in my apartment complex after posting signs up in some common areas. The guy saw me posting the signs and asked to buy the chair so I made him wait outside my apartment so I could wheel the chair out. He was very nice but he gave me the creeps a little and now I am worried that I put myself in a vulnerable position by allowing him to see where I live. What can I do to keep myself safe now that he knows where I live, and how can I handle transactions like this in the future so I don't endanger myself again? I did take a picture of his license plate just because it felt like the right thing to do.
Keep your doors locked and be aware of things around you, so basically things you should be doing anyway as a person living alone. In the future only sell things by meeting in a public, neutral location.
posted by magnetsphere at 3:15 PM on February 16, 2013 [4 favorites]
posted by magnetsphere at 3:15 PM on February 16, 2013 [4 favorites]
Is there a reason you felt like it was dangerous that he might know where you live?
I mean, surely tons of people know where you live. Especially if this guy already had access to your apartment complex.
Trust your gut, I guess, but in all honestly this is not something to get very het up over unless you live in a high crime area or there's a manhunt for a serial killer or the like.
When I sell stuff like this, I prefer to list it in Craigslist so that I can have some control over the situation. I can decide whose email to respond to, ask them to wait downstairs in their car while I bring the object out, etc. If you put up a sign around your apartment complex asking people to knock on your door, you leave the ball in their court so to speak. I don't think there's anything dangerous about this (I'd be more worried that the person would think we're friends now and start just stopping on by for unannounced hangouts), but you do lose the ability to have the sale be on your terms.
posted by Sara C. at 3:19 PM on February 16, 2013 [1 favorite]
I mean, surely tons of people know where you live. Especially if this guy already had access to your apartment complex.
Trust your gut, I guess, but in all honestly this is not something to get very het up over unless you live in a high crime area or there's a manhunt for a serial killer or the like.
When I sell stuff like this, I prefer to list it in Craigslist so that I can have some control over the situation. I can decide whose email to respond to, ask them to wait downstairs in their car while I bring the object out, etc. If you put up a sign around your apartment complex asking people to knock on your door, you leave the ball in their court so to speak. I don't think there's anything dangerous about this (I'd be more worried that the person would think we're friends now and start just stopping on by for unannounced hangouts), but you do lose the ability to have the sale be on your terms.
posted by Sara C. at 3:19 PM on February 16, 2013 [1 favorite]
Yeah, this is kind of the risk of selling things out of your apartment. I'm not sure either what gave you the creeps but it could very well have been legitimate. In the future you might want to have a friend with you if you're having people come in or near your apartment to buy things or whatever.
posted by sweetkid at 3:19 PM on February 16, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by sweetkid at 3:19 PM on February 16, 2013 [1 favorite]
You live in the same building already, right? If he wanted to find out which apartment was yours, surely he could find that out just by keeping his eyes peeled.
posted by desuetude at 3:32 PM on February 16, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by desuetude at 3:32 PM on February 16, 2013 [2 favorites]
I just met a woman at a Starbucks to sell her a MacBook Air (she didn't buy it because it has no DVD drive), which I had listed on Craigslist. This meeting in a public place thing is common for these scenarios.
Also if I responded to an ad for furniture for sale and the seller started photographing my license plate, I'd find that a bit creepy.
posted by tylerkaraszewski at 3:33 PM on February 16, 2013 [16 favorites]
Also if I responded to an ad for furniture for sale and the seller started photographing my license plate, I'd find that a bit creepy.
posted by tylerkaraszewski at 3:33 PM on February 16, 2013 [16 favorites]
Also if I responded to an ad for furniture for sale and the seller started photographing my license plate, I'd find that a bit creepy.
Ditto. I wouldn't be surprised to see an askme that started "Hi, I'm a guy living alone in an apartment building. Today I bought a chair from a lady who had posted for sale signs around the complex, but later I noticed her photographing my license plate... what should I do?"
FWIW, I'm a younger woman and I sell EVERYTHING on craigslist. For the high value stuff (I have sold more than a half dozen cars and 5 laptops on craigslist) I meet in public places, for the lower value/bulky items I have them come over. This generally all transpires when Mr. Arnicae is at work or elsewhere, never has been an issue. If I get the mild creeper vibe from them (happened twice) I bring the item outside rather than inviting them in. Never, ever, ever have had a problem with this. Use common sense and you'll be fine.
posted by arnicae at 3:48 PM on February 16, 2013 [2 favorites]
Ditto. I wouldn't be surprised to see an askme that started "Hi, I'm a guy living alone in an apartment building. Today I bought a chair from a lady who had posted for sale signs around the complex, but later I noticed her photographing my license plate... what should I do?"
FWIW, I'm a younger woman and I sell EVERYTHING on craigslist. For the high value stuff (I have sold more than a half dozen cars and 5 laptops on craigslist) I meet in public places, for the lower value/bulky items I have them come over. This generally all transpires when Mr. Arnicae is at work or elsewhere, never has been an issue. If I get the mild creeper vibe from them (happened twice) I bring the item outside rather than inviting them in. Never, ever, ever have had a problem with this. Use common sense and you'll be fine.
posted by arnicae at 3:48 PM on February 16, 2013 [2 favorites]
This needs more details - why creepy? - but I think that you should probably not sell furniture in your apartment complex if it makes you uncomfortable in this way, or if you really feel you must, put on the sign that transactions take place in the common area only.
posted by sm1tten at 3:50 PM on February 16, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by sm1tten at 3:50 PM on February 16, 2013 [1 favorite]
...Or maybe he just needed a chair and walked by at the right time, and decided to snap it up before someone else did? I mean, you were posting signs in your building -- presumably you were hoping someone would buy it.
posted by DoubleLune at 3:59 PM on February 16, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by DoubleLune at 3:59 PM on February 16, 2013 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: Something about him and his overly friendly demeanor made me very uncomfortable. I have a pretty good sense of when something is or is not bad news, and this interaction triggered feelings of bad news, and as such I've come to the conclusion that I put myself in what I feel is a compromised position. After he left I went down to write that the chair was sold on the signs I'd posted and saw him taking one of the little tear off get-in-touch pieces from my ad (has a just for selling stuff email address on it) and now I am concerned that he may attempt to pursue further contact with me. It is obviously entirely possible that he was just thrilled to be getting such an awesome chair and that's why he was being overly friendly, but still, it triggered warning bells for me.
FWIW, I've had some issues with guys in my neighborhood not taking no for an answer when they try to talk to me, and I just want to be able to head similar interactions off at the pass as I have many other items I am selling and will likely encounter other people. I have never sold anything on my own like this before and feel it is prudent to have a means of protecting myself so that I don't have to feel like I'm in danger.
Also, he was not aware that I took a picture of his license plate, and I don't feel like I was out of bounds to do so because I did not get his name and if I do have an issue with him I need to be able to identify him to my landlady.
posted by These Birds of a Feather at 3:59 PM on February 16, 2013 [3 favorites]
FWIW, I've had some issues with guys in my neighborhood not taking no for an answer when they try to talk to me, and I just want to be able to head similar interactions off at the pass as I have many other items I am selling and will likely encounter other people. I have never sold anything on my own like this before and feel it is prudent to have a means of protecting myself so that I don't have to feel like I'm in danger.
Also, he was not aware that I took a picture of his license plate, and I don't feel like I was out of bounds to do so because I did not get his name and if I do have an issue with him I need to be able to identify him to my landlady.
posted by These Birds of a Feather at 3:59 PM on February 16, 2013 [3 favorites]
After he left I went down to write that the chair was sold on the signs I'd posted and saw him taking one of the little tear off get-in-touch pieces from my ad (has a just for selling stuff email address on it)
Are you selling other stuff, which would mean he'd have a valid reason for wanting to contact you again?
Because if not, that's creepy.
posted by sebastienbailard at 4:06 PM on February 16, 2013
Are you selling other stuff, which would mean he'd have a valid reason for wanting to contact you again?
Because if not, that's creepy.
posted by sebastienbailard at 4:06 PM on February 16, 2013
Response by poster: Not to threadsit, but yes, I am, and when he said he wanted the chair I asked if he was interested in any of the other items and he said he wasn't.
posted by These Birds of a Feather at 4:14 PM on February 16, 2013
posted by These Birds of a Feather at 4:14 PM on February 16, 2013
It could be creepy, it could be innocuous. Maybe he wants your info in case the chair turns out to be faulty.
Since it sounds like you have a bunch of stuff to sell, maybe you could arrange one day to have a sale. Have a male friend there to pose as your boyfriend.
posted by payoto at 4:16 PM on February 16, 2013 [1 favorite]
Since it sounds like you have a bunch of stuff to sell, maybe you could arrange one day to have a sale. Have a male friend there to pose as your boyfriend.
posted by payoto at 4:16 PM on February 16, 2013 [1 favorite]
After he left I went down to write that the chair was sold on the signs I'd posted and saw him taking one of the little tear off get-in-touch pieces from my ad (has a just for selling stuff email address on it)
That's creepy! Still, all things being equal, I'd assume he just thought you were cute and imagined himself calling you in a couple of weeks going, hey, I bought this chair from you. Want to have a drink/coffee?
In which case, obviously!, you'd say you have a boyfriend/girlfriend/aren't dating/are really busy right now.
The general thing, of being young and female and single and feeling unsafe -- that's an overarching thing of protecting yourself. So you have an airhorn in your hallway, a long piece of steel so your windows can't open unless you mean them to -- that sort of thing, and a list of ways to get out of creepy conversations with guys that ping your creep radar. I think that's dependent on what you personally can pull off.
I just want to be able to head similar interactions off at the pass
"Thanks, no."
"I'm really busy, sorry."
"Need to get some sleep; thanks. Sorry!"
If you were my daughter (who is FOUR): "Sorry, I have to get inside so I can call my mom." ;)
posted by A Terrible Llama at 4:18 PM on February 16, 2013
That's creepy! Still, all things being equal, I'd assume he just thought you were cute and imagined himself calling you in a couple of weeks going, hey, I bought this chair from you. Want to have a drink/coffee?
In which case, obviously!, you'd say you have a boyfriend/girlfriend/aren't dating/are really busy right now.
The general thing, of being young and female and single and feeling unsafe -- that's an overarching thing of protecting yourself. So you have an airhorn in your hallway, a long piece of steel so your windows can't open unless you mean them to -- that sort of thing, and a list of ways to get out of creepy conversations with guys that ping your creep radar. I think that's dependent on what you personally can pull off.
I just want to be able to head similar interactions off at the pass
"Thanks, no."
"I'm really busy, sorry."
"Need to get some sleep; thanks. Sorry!"
If you were my daughter (who is FOUR): "Sorry, I have to get inside so I can call my mom." ;)
posted by A Terrible Llama at 4:18 PM on February 16, 2013
If you don't want people ever talking to you or knowing where you live or your fake email address or anything about you, maybe you shouldn't sell stuff via signs that you post around your building.
Again, Craigs is great for this because it's all via email and you have a lot more control over the interaction.
This is also why people selling a bunch of misc. crap have stoop sales or donate to good will or otherwise get rid of stuff without needing to invite a bunch of random strangers over to rummage around.
posted by Sara C. at 4:33 PM on February 16, 2013 [4 favorites]
Again, Craigs is great for this because it's all via email and you have a lot more control over the interaction.
This is also why people selling a bunch of misc. crap have stoop sales or donate to good will or otherwise get rid of stuff without needing to invite a bunch of random strangers over to rummage around.
posted by Sara C. at 4:33 PM on February 16, 2013 [4 favorites]
You could carry mace if it helps you feel safe. There's not much you can do other than what you did(which was totally legit btw).
posted by oceanjesse at 4:35 PM on February 16, 2013
posted by oceanjesse at 4:35 PM on February 16, 2013
I wouldn't worry about it. People do this stuff all the time with garage sales, and I don't think selling off of craigslist is much different for household items. Now for big ticket items, I would try to make the exchange in a public place.
posted by Circumstands at 4:35 PM on February 16, 2013
posted by Circumstands at 4:35 PM on February 16, 2013
I did take a picture of his license plate just because it felt like the right thing to do.
Um, that's pretty creepy. Sorry!
I've bought and sold a lot of stuff on Craigslist, and I've found that the best way to at least not feel like I'm going to end up in the trunk of a rental car is to have a friend there with me or meet in a public place.
posted by ablazingsaddle at 5:13 PM on February 16, 2013 [4 favorites]
Um, that's pretty creepy. Sorry!
I've bought and sold a lot of stuff on Craigslist, and I've found that the best way to at least not feel like I'm going to end up in the trunk of a rental car is to have a friend there with me or meet in a public place.
posted by ablazingsaddle at 5:13 PM on February 16, 2013 [4 favorites]
FWIW I have a pretty high creepy meter (and don't even sell stuff on Craigslist for that reason) and the email taking doesn't really flag as creepy to me. Maybe he thought he might want more stuff later. Maybe he just wanted to remember whoever sold him the chair.
Also how overly friendly could he be if he didn't even give you his name?
posted by sweetkid at 5:15 PM on February 16, 2013 [1 favorite]
Also how overly friendly could he be if he didn't even give you his name?
posted by sweetkid at 5:15 PM on February 16, 2013 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: Alright, guess I'm overreacting. Hope you're right. Thanks! :)
posted by These Birds of a Feather at 5:16 PM on February 16, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by These Birds of a Feather at 5:16 PM on February 16, 2013 [2 favorites]
Trust your instincts. A license plate is public information. It's posted in big block letters on the outside of the car, for goodness' sake. It was a perfectly legitimate response to take note of that.
Anyway, in the case of something bulky, can you meet in the lobby of your building, or just outside the building?
posted by palliser at 5:18 PM on February 16, 2013 [3 favorites]
Anyway, in the case of something bulky, can you meet in the lobby of your building, or just outside the building?
posted by palliser at 5:18 PM on February 16, 2013 [3 favorites]
If you feel creeped out, follow your gut, period. Your body picked up on something that none of us can derive from the safety of The Green.
posted by Shouraku at 5:19 PM on February 16, 2013 [32 favorites]
posted by Shouraku at 5:19 PM on February 16, 2013 [32 favorites]
FWIW, I would gently suggest that you NOT say "Sorry" in any form when turning someone down for a romantic whatever. It implies that you really are sorry and that they should ask you again, some other time when you won't have to say no.
Women are conditioned to placate and soothe feelings. It's okay to just say, "No, I'm not interested." If that feels rude to you, add a "Thanks for asking."
posted by cooker girl at 5:33 PM on February 16, 2013 [12 favorites]
Women are conditioned to placate and soothe feelings. It's okay to just say, "No, I'm not interested." If that feels rude to you, add a "Thanks for asking."
posted by cooker girl at 5:33 PM on February 16, 2013 [12 favorites]
I wouldn't worry about it yet. Maybe he was overly-friendly because he was just really, really grateful to have a chair so easily.
This is not to say that if he starts repeatedly "accidentally" being outside your apartment that you should blow that off too, but that hasn't happened yet, and may not.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 5:42 PM on February 16, 2013 [2 favorites]
This is not to say that if he starts repeatedly "accidentally" being outside your apartment that you should blow that off too, but that hasn't happened yet, and may not.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 5:42 PM on February 16, 2013 [2 favorites]
I'm surprised no one's mentioned The Gift of Fear yet.
Yes, obviously this guy could have meant no harm. Maybe he was attracted to you and/or awkward. But your gut exists for a reason, and you never lose anything by heeding it. Next time, sell your stuff via Craigslist.
posted by jessca84 at 5:57 PM on February 16, 2013 [8 favorites]
Yes, obviously this guy could have meant no harm. Maybe he was attracted to you and/or awkward. But your gut exists for a reason, and you never lose anything by heeding it. Next time, sell your stuff via Craigslist.
posted by jessca84 at 5:57 PM on February 16, 2013 [8 favorites]
Trust your gut. Tell him the cop across the hall bought it.
You aren't overreacting. You need to keep yourself safe. There are some men who just don't get the kinds of threats a woman faces from guys who learn their social skills from media and haven't learned to manage their emotions. There are a few of the latter, who get so angry when a woman turns them down.
posted by discopolo at 5:58 PM on February 16, 2013
You aren't overreacting. You need to keep yourself safe. There are some men who just don't get the kinds of threats a woman faces from guys who learn their social skills from media and haven't learned to manage their emotions. There are a few of the latter, who get so angry when a woman turns them down.
posted by discopolo at 5:58 PM on February 16, 2013
I think technically we can't solve this problem for you until the creep contacts you again. He may not. Sometimes the creeps go after me, and then some other shiny comes across their path and then they forget about me. Unless/until he does, we can't really tell you how to dissuade him so well, you know? Right now I don't know what to say because the damage has been done.
But if you're worried about stuff like this...well, you somehow need to handle these things without them seeing your apartment. I'm really not sure how to handle that with giant things like furniture, though. Bring a friend? Bring the furniture down to the ground floor area with a friend?
posted by jenfullmoon at 6:10 PM on February 16, 2013 [1 favorite]
But if you're worried about stuff like this...well, you somehow need to handle these things without them seeing your apartment. I'm really not sure how to handle that with giant things like furniture, though. Bring a friend? Bring the furniture down to the ground floor area with a friend?
posted by jenfullmoon at 6:10 PM on February 16, 2013 [1 favorite]
Yeah, I was just chiming in here to remind us all about The Gift of Fear.
Usually though, these days, people are gonna be able to find out where you live one way or another, so your best bet is to simply stay alert and aware of your surroundings. And project confidence, not fear.
As to the rest of your stuff I presume you have male friends who could hang out with you on sale day?
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 6:17 PM on February 16, 2013 [1 favorite]
Usually though, these days, people are gonna be able to find out where you live one way or another, so your best bet is to simply stay alert and aware of your surroundings. And project confidence, not fear.
As to the rest of your stuff I presume you have male friends who could hang out with you on sale day?
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 6:17 PM on February 16, 2013 [1 favorite]
definitely have a friend come by on sale day and hang around. doesn't even have to be a male friend, even another female friend will discourage someone from taking advantage of your vulnerable position.
i think the anonymous email address was good and i also think you had a good instinct in taking a photo of the license plate. go read "the gift of fear"...you will probably love it because you already get the importance of intuition. you're not overreacting, but we sure are socialized to be nice and think we are overreacting, in situations that present danger or an intimation of future danger.
as a side note, if ever you decide to carry mace, practice using it on an inanimate object outside first. several times. of course i approve of arming women in their self defense (especially against overly-entitled-to-your-attention creeps!) but pepper spray is a weapon and you should never carry a weapon you don't practice using. not knowing how to use something dangerous and carrying it anyway is never a good idea.
posted by zdravo at 6:38 PM on February 16, 2013 [1 favorite]
i think the anonymous email address was good and i also think you had a good instinct in taking a photo of the license plate. go read "the gift of fear"...you will probably love it because you already get the importance of intuition. you're not overreacting, but we sure are socialized to be nice and think we are overreacting, in situations that present danger or an intimation of future danger.
as a side note, if ever you decide to carry mace, practice using it on an inanimate object outside first. several times. of course i approve of arming women in their self defense (especially against overly-entitled-to-your-attention creeps!) but pepper spray is a weapon and you should never carry a weapon you don't practice using. not knowing how to use something dangerous and carrying it anyway is never a good idea.
posted by zdravo at 6:38 PM on February 16, 2013 [1 favorite]
Could it be that he took your number from the flyer in case there was a problem with the chair? That seems to be the most likely scenario... not the overblown stuff you've got in your head.
posted by blaneyphoto at 7:07 PM on February 16, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by blaneyphoto at 7:07 PM on February 16, 2013 [2 favorites]
Trust your instincts. A license plate is public information. It's posted in big block letters on the outside of the car, for goodness' sake.
Sure, and if this guy had been taking photographs of her license plate would you feel the same about it being no big deal?
OP, it doesn't sound like there's much to worry about here but you should consider not selling out of your apartment to avoid any chance of discomfort in the future.
posted by Justinian at 7:16 PM on February 16, 2013 [2 favorites]
Sure, and if this guy had been taking photographs of her license plate would you feel the same about it being no big deal?
OP, it doesn't sound like there's much to worry about here but you should consider not selling out of your apartment to avoid any chance of discomfort in the future.
posted by Justinian at 7:16 PM on February 16, 2013 [2 favorites]
Can people not say the OP is being overblown? Whether or not she had a right to feel creeped out isn't the question. Her question is how other people handle selling things, and how she can avoid putting herself into what felt like an unsafe situation in the future.
---------
When selling things on Craigslist, I typically arrange to meet people at really public Metro stops... like Gallery Place in DC or Park St. in Boston. Those ones are particularly good examples, because they're close to other stops/forms of public transit that I could take a different way home if I felt creeped out.
posted by spunweb at 8:09 PM on February 16, 2013 [3 favorites]
---------
When selling things on Craigslist, I typically arrange to meet people at really public Metro stops... like Gallery Place in DC or Park St. in Boston. Those ones are particularly good examples, because they're close to other stops/forms of public transit that I could take a different way home if I felt creeped out.
posted by spunweb at 8:09 PM on February 16, 2013 [3 favorites]
Response by poster: Thanks, spunweb, for realizing what my question was actually about.
posted by These Birds of a Feather at 8:22 PM on February 16, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by These Birds of a Feather at 8:22 PM on February 16, 2013 [1 favorite]
Best answer: I also wouldn't've gone upstairs right then to get the chair. I'd've probably said, oh I'm asking people to pick up their items all on the same day, and then made sure that on the day in question I had a friend over, and that pick up times were arranged in advance.
I've done that for 2 moves now, and people are generally pretty understanding that you might want to use your chair or whatever until you're further along in your moving process. If they're not understanding, they're creepsters or jerks. This also cuts down on the "knowing where you live" aspect, because you're not really going to live there that long, if you time it right.
posted by spunweb at 8:24 PM on February 16, 2013
I've done that for 2 moves now, and people are generally pretty understanding that you might want to use your chair or whatever until you're further along in your moving process. If they're not understanding, they're creepsters or jerks. This also cuts down on the "knowing where you live" aspect, because you're not really going to live there that long, if you time it right.
posted by spunweb at 8:24 PM on February 16, 2013
I sold a lot of stuff on craigslist last year and probably half the guys I met that way asked me out or expressed interest in some way, many of them by emailing or texting me later. Just say no, it's no big deal. If they show up at your door call the cops but flirting is going to happen.
posted by fshgrl at 10:09 PM on February 16, 2013
posted by fshgrl at 10:09 PM on February 16, 2013
Say "my husbands taking a nap at the moment so I"ll carry the chair out for you if you'll just wait outside". The guy is probably going to email you to ask you out in this instance. But in future definitely pretend there's someone else in the apartment if you're going to sell stuff like this (although meeting in a public place would be better).
posted by hazyjane at 12:21 AM on February 17, 2013
posted by hazyjane at 12:21 AM on February 17, 2013
He may also have thought of someone on tge way out, a friend or relative, who recently told him they're looking for items x y z that you may have also posted, thus taking your email to pass on? Just a thought.
posted by Under the Sea at 2:15 AM on February 17, 2013
posted by Under the Sea at 2:15 AM on February 17, 2013
Mod note: Let's go ahead and focus on the actual post questions from here on, please: "What can I do to keep myself safe now that he knows where I live, and how can I handle transactions like this in the future so I don't endanger myself again?"
posted by taz (staff) at 5:59 AM on February 17, 2013
posted by taz (staff) at 5:59 AM on February 17, 2013
Best answer: "You want to buy the chair? Great! Wait right here, I'll bring it down. No, I don't need help, plus my place is a little chaotic right now -- be right back."
Alternatively, "You want to buy the big heavy chair? Great! It's under a pile of right now but I can bring it to you at XTIME when my friend is going to be here helping me carry stuff out. Can I bring it to you at that time? Where should we carry it?"
posted by feets at 6:03 AM on February 17, 2013 [1 favorite]
Alternatively, "You want to buy the big heavy chair? Great! It's under a pile of right now but I can bring it to you at XTIME when my friend is going to be here helping me carry stuff out. Can I bring it to you at that time? Where should we carry it?"
posted by feets at 6:03 AM on February 17, 2013 [1 favorite]
My personal algorithm is this:
Post item to craigslist. Include lots of hi-res detailed photos. Include good descriptions with model numbers, details, descriptions of any damage, etc.
Ignore all responses from unverifiable e-mail address. A verifiable e-mail address is one that when I paste into Google, Facebook, LinkedIn, etc, results in a very real looking profile. If someone uses their work e-mail and I can verify the company exists locally, that is verifiable. Anything that is yahoo, hotmail, or aol is probably BS unless there are google hits for it, or you can find a local person with that same first and last name in one of the above social networks. Basically, can you find a photo or reasonable looking profile to match to the email address?
Ignore all non-reputable e-mails. E-mails that are improperly formatted, don't use capital letters or punctuations, or just give you the heebeejeebies are non-reputable. You don't want to deal with people who can't be bothered to type a three sentence e-mail in a respectful, normative manner.
Reply to verifiable, reputable sounding e-mail addresses with answers to questions they may have. Offer to meet at a local Starbucks to exchange cash money for item. No checks or money orders. In the case of furniture I always offer to deliver to their place, at which point they can change their minds if they don't like it. Ignore or politely decline requests to come see it at my place. Ignore requests to talk via phone.
Be patient as many people will flake at this point. I sold a queen size bed in this manner and it took about two months before I got to the actual delivery point.
Once you have agreed on a price with a real person, drive to agreed upon location. I usually do this alone, because I'm a guy, but you may wish to bring a friend. If you're delivering, definitely bring a friend; if nothing else they can help you unload.
posted by jeffamaphone at 11:14 AM on February 17, 2013
Post item to craigslist. Include lots of hi-res detailed photos. Include good descriptions with model numbers, details, descriptions of any damage, etc.
Ignore all responses from unverifiable e-mail address. A verifiable e-mail address is one that when I paste into Google, Facebook, LinkedIn, etc, results in a very real looking profile. If someone uses their work e-mail and I can verify the company exists locally, that is verifiable. Anything that is yahoo, hotmail, or aol is probably BS unless there are google hits for it, or you can find a local person with that same first and last name in one of the above social networks. Basically, can you find a photo or reasonable looking profile to match to the email address?
Ignore all non-reputable e-mails. E-mails that are improperly formatted, don't use capital letters or punctuations, or just give you the heebeejeebies are non-reputable. You don't want to deal with people who can't be bothered to type a three sentence e-mail in a respectful, normative manner.
Reply to verifiable, reputable sounding e-mail addresses with answers to questions they may have. Offer to meet at a local Starbucks to exchange cash money for item. No checks or money orders. In the case of furniture I always offer to deliver to their place, at which point they can change their minds if they don't like it. Ignore or politely decline requests to come see it at my place. Ignore requests to talk via phone.
Be patient as many people will flake at this point. I sold a queen size bed in this manner and it took about two months before I got to the actual delivery point.
Once you have agreed on a price with a real person, drive to agreed upon location. I usually do this alone, because I'm a guy, but you may wish to bring a friend. If you're delivering, definitely bring a friend; if nothing else they can help you unload.
posted by jeffamaphone at 11:14 AM on February 17, 2013
Sure, and if this guy had been taking photographs of her license plate would you feel the same about it being no big deal?
In response to the OP's question of how to protect herself in future, I think taking a photo of a license plate is a reasonable step for her to have taken and to continue to take if she wishes. I think it is fine, in all cases, for people to take a photo of a license plate.
In this particular instance, if he had taken a photo of her license plate, he might therefore be able to look up ... her address. But he already has that information. That's what's making her nervous. If it would make you nervous for someone to have the ability to get that information about you, by taking a photo of your license plate, why are you questioning her judgment that it makes her nervous that he has that same information about her already?
And in any event, switching genders doesn't work here, not with the imbalance between the comparative likelihoods that men vs. women will use identifying information for the purpose of stalking and harassment vs. protecting themselves from same.
posted by palliser at 12:20 PM on February 17, 2013 [2 favorites]
In response to the OP's question of how to protect herself in future, I think taking a photo of a license plate is a reasonable step for her to have taken and to continue to take if she wishes. I think it is fine, in all cases, for people to take a photo of a license plate.
In this particular instance, if he had taken a photo of her license plate, he might therefore be able to look up ... her address. But he already has that information. That's what's making her nervous. If it would make you nervous for someone to have the ability to get that information about you, by taking a photo of your license plate, why are you questioning her judgment that it makes her nervous that he has that same information about her already?
And in any event, switching genders doesn't work here, not with the imbalance between the comparative likelihoods that men vs. women will use identifying information for the purpose of stalking and harassment vs. protecting themselves from same.
posted by palliser at 12:20 PM on February 17, 2013 [2 favorites]
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What did he do, exactly? It sounds like all that's happened is that you've made it known that you, a mid-20s female with a chair, exist. Why are you getting bad vibes from this?
posted by A Terrible Llama at 3:15 PM on February 16, 2013 [10 favorites]