I need to go to sleep ridiculously early. Help?
November 4, 2012 12:13 PM Subscribe
I need to be at work at 6am every morning and get to bed around 7pm to get enough sleep for the day. My body doesn't want to fall asleep at that time. How do I fix it?
There are several complications:
1) My sleeping schedule was formed around the night shift because that's when I worked and my partner also worked that shift, so when I was unemployed I kept the same schedule so I could spend time with her. I'm actually more of a morning person than a night person, so once I fix my schedule I shouldn't have an issue waking up wise. I usually get to bed around 2am-5am.
2) Speaking of the partner, she gets home between 12am-2am every evening. I'm a light sleeper and there's about a 50% chance she'll wake me up when she gets home just by opening the door. Also, she snores, so there's that extra chance her snoring will wake me up and keep me awake. She doesn't want to sleep in the other room or for me to do so to fix this problem.
3) If I'm woken up at night I can't get back to sleep easily. Several hours might go by with me unable to fall back to sleep. My body seems to be OK on around 4 hours of sleep but this does not get me through a full day of work.
4) Getting little sleep on my days off to try to fix it doesn't help. I'll be exhausted for most of the day, then I'll get a "second wind" and STILL be unable to sleep at night. It's like if I don't fall asleep when I'm most tired (around 1-2pm usually) my body will be like, "Oh, well, nevermind," and cease to be tired.
5) OTC sleeping pills don't work for me, because they make my muscles feel like they're contracting which actually keeps me awake. I don't know what causes this but it's a very unpleasant feeling so I avoid those. I've had prescription sleeping pills that work, but do not currently have an appointment for a refill. These also seem to be hit or miss in terms of whether or not I'm still tired when I wake up, so I'm trying to find a solution that doesn't involve them. I have spoken to a few doctors about my sleeping issues as being unable to fall asleep at the correct time isn't new to me and they've all just prescribed sleeping pills. So I don't think seeing one for a different solution will help.
Does anybody have some suggestions? My first few days at the job I worked on 4 hours of sleep in the previous 48 hours, and while I didn't any issue at the time I know overtime I'm going to be miserable. I handle stress poorly when it comes to working so I'm trying to nip this in the bud before it affects my performance. Any suggestions on fixing this issue would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!
Oh, I should mention that I'd like to wake up around 3:30-4:30am to start the day. I get everything ready the night before but I'm not a "wake up, rush out the door" person.
There are several complications:
1) My sleeping schedule was formed around the night shift because that's when I worked and my partner also worked that shift, so when I was unemployed I kept the same schedule so I could spend time with her. I'm actually more of a morning person than a night person, so once I fix my schedule I shouldn't have an issue waking up wise. I usually get to bed around 2am-5am.
2) Speaking of the partner, she gets home between 12am-2am every evening. I'm a light sleeper and there's about a 50% chance she'll wake me up when she gets home just by opening the door. Also, she snores, so there's that extra chance her snoring will wake me up and keep me awake. She doesn't want to sleep in the other room or for me to do so to fix this problem.
3) If I'm woken up at night I can't get back to sleep easily. Several hours might go by with me unable to fall back to sleep. My body seems to be OK on around 4 hours of sleep but this does not get me through a full day of work.
4) Getting little sleep on my days off to try to fix it doesn't help. I'll be exhausted for most of the day, then I'll get a "second wind" and STILL be unable to sleep at night. It's like if I don't fall asleep when I'm most tired (around 1-2pm usually) my body will be like, "Oh, well, nevermind," and cease to be tired.
5) OTC sleeping pills don't work for me, because they make my muscles feel like they're contracting which actually keeps me awake. I don't know what causes this but it's a very unpleasant feeling so I avoid those. I've had prescription sleeping pills that work, but do not currently have an appointment for a refill. These also seem to be hit or miss in terms of whether or not I'm still tired when I wake up, so I'm trying to find a solution that doesn't involve them. I have spoken to a few doctors about my sleeping issues as being unable to fall asleep at the correct time isn't new to me and they've all just prescribed sleeping pills. So I don't think seeing one for a different solution will help.
Does anybody have some suggestions? My first few days at the job I worked on 4 hours of sleep in the previous 48 hours, and while I didn't any issue at the time I know overtime I'm going to be miserable. I handle stress poorly when it comes to working so I'm trying to nip this in the bud before it affects my performance. Any suggestions on fixing this issue would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!
Oh, I should mention that I'd like to wake up around 3:30-4:30am to start the day. I get everything ready the night before but I'm not a "wake up, rush out the door" person.
I'm no doctor, but in my experience if you put yourself through the misery you describe (from sleep deprivation), you'll get good and sleepy at the right time sooner or later. You might go through some second winds, insomnia, and weird wake times, but if there's not a medical reason your sleep is so screwy, you'll adjust.
posted by Rykey at 12:26 PM on November 4, 2012
posted by Rykey at 12:26 PM on November 4, 2012
Try melatonin - it works for many people. I find the liquid form to be best as it's absorbed faster and you can take smaller dosages than in the pills (many people just need about 1 or 2 mg of melatonin, not 3 which most pills are).
A fan or white noise machine is very soothing - and bonus for the fan, it keeps your room cool and the air fresh.
Can you persuade snoring partner to sleep on her side? Or wear Breathe Right strips? (If she snores loudly, stops breathing or gasps for air, make her get a sleep test to make sure she doesn't have apnea, which can result in much more serious issues than a sleepless partner.)
posted by Rosie M. Banks at 12:36 PM on November 4, 2012 [1 favorite]
A fan or white noise machine is very soothing - and bonus for the fan, it keeps your room cool and the air fresh.
Can you persuade snoring partner to sleep on her side? Or wear Breathe Right strips? (If she snores loudly, stops breathing or gasps for air, make her get a sleep test to make sure she doesn't have apnea, which can result in much more serious issues than a sleepless partner.)
posted by Rosie M. Banks at 12:36 PM on November 4, 2012 [1 favorite]
She doesn't want to sleep in the other room or for me to do so to fix this problem.
My boyfriend has to sleep in a separate room to get any kind of decent sleep quality. I wasn't a fan of this at first, but it's just how he is, and I got used to it after a couple months. It's a little lonely sometimes, but it's important to both of us that he's well-rested, and I actually find it nice to be able to get out of bed at any time without being concerned that I'll disrupt his delicate sleep. It's worth it overall. We make sure to find other times to snuggle.
It's very possible that this is really not an option for her, but if she's like me, it might be worth trying it for just a week and seeing whether it helps significantly.
posted by dreamyshade at 12:51 PM on November 4, 2012
My boyfriend has to sleep in a separate room to get any kind of decent sleep quality. I wasn't a fan of this at first, but it's just how he is, and I got used to it after a couple months. It's a little lonely sometimes, but it's important to both of us that he's well-rested, and I actually find it nice to be able to get out of bed at any time without being concerned that I'll disrupt his delicate sleep. It's worth it overall. We make sure to find other times to snuggle.
It's very possible that this is really not an option for her, but if she's like me, it might be worth trying it for just a week and seeing whether it helps significantly.
posted by dreamyshade at 12:51 PM on November 4, 2012
You can try earplugs to help with the light sleeping part. I've been using them for years and they help immensely
And I use Benedryl as a sleep aid when I need it--it was recommended to me back in college by the doctor at the med center to be a non-physically addictive sleep aid. I usually take half an adult dose about 15 minutes before I go to bed.
posted by chiefthe at 1:25 PM on November 4, 2012 [1 favorite]
And I use Benedryl as a sleep aid when I need it--it was recommended to me back in college by the doctor at the med center to be a non-physically addictive sleep aid. I usually take half an adult dose about 15 minutes before I go to bed.
posted by chiefthe at 1:25 PM on November 4, 2012 [1 favorite]
I second the suggestion of trying melatonin. I find that if I mess up my sleep schedule, such as by staying up too late on the weekend, I can take melatonin shortly before my usual sleep time for a few days to "reset" my sleep schedule.
posted by ersatzhuman at 2:52 PM on November 4, 2012
posted by ersatzhuman at 2:52 PM on November 4, 2012
as a note on the "use Benadryl as a sleep aid" suggestion, most over the counter sleep aids either contain diphenhydramine (Benadryl) or something closely related (like Unisom). So if you don't do well with Brand X OTC Sleep Aid, you may not like what Benadryl does either.
posted by treehorn+bunny at 4:00 PM on November 4, 2012
posted by treehorn+bunny at 4:00 PM on November 4, 2012
because they make my muscles feel like they're contracting which actually keeps me awake.
If there's a chance you may be experiencing mild muscle cramping or Restless Leg Syndrome (RLS), this is often caused by mild magnesium, calcium and maybe potassium deficiency, and supplements can help, and therefore help you fall asleep and stay asleep more easily. There's research online to back it up.
Use a multi-pronged approach:
- Melatonin, around .3mg (yes, that's way less than the standard tablet size) before bed
- Hot shower, immediately before bed. I.e. dry off, and get into bed. The drop in body temperature from a hot shower triggers sleep onset.
- Eye mask AND good earplugs. It's amazing how much sound they cut out, while not feeling uncomfortable if they are decent. Total darkness if you don't want the eye mask, however, the eye mask can start becoming a valuable sleep trigger by itself.
Finally, talk to your partner about sleeping in a different room for just a night or two, in order to get your body clock switched, or maybe just one or two nights a week to get you reset. If she knows it isn't every night, and you make sure you get lots of affection with her (and an electric blanket if she needs it!), she may feel more comfortable with this plan.
posted by Elysum at 4:02 PM on November 4, 2012
If there's a chance you may be experiencing mild muscle cramping or Restless Leg Syndrome (RLS), this is often caused by mild magnesium, calcium and maybe potassium deficiency, and supplements can help, and therefore help you fall asleep and stay asleep more easily. There's research online to back it up.
Use a multi-pronged approach:
- Melatonin, around .3mg (yes, that's way less than the standard tablet size) before bed
- Hot shower, immediately before bed. I.e. dry off, and get into bed. The drop in body temperature from a hot shower triggers sleep onset.
- Eye mask AND good earplugs. It's amazing how much sound they cut out, while not feeling uncomfortable if they are decent. Total darkness if you don't want the eye mask, however, the eye mask can start becoming a valuable sleep trigger by itself.
Finally, talk to your partner about sleeping in a different room for just a night or two, in order to get your body clock switched, or maybe just one or two nights a week to get you reset. If she knows it isn't every night, and you make sure you get lots of affection with her (and an electric blanket if she needs it!), she may feel more comfortable with this plan.
posted by Elysum at 4:02 PM on November 4, 2012
In addition to melatonin 30 minutes before bedtime, take co-q-10 about 12 to 14 hours before the desired bedtime. It is the co-enzyme of melatonin and helps wake you up (without caffeine like drug side effects). Taking it can help correct your waking-sleeping brain chemistry cycle in as little as three days. I did this when I moved from nightshift to dayshift. If your problem is really stubborn, keep taking it until your body more fully adjusts to the new schedule. Due to health issues, it took me many weeks to really adjust to dayshift.
posted by Michele in California at 8:42 PM on November 4, 2012
posted by Michele in California at 8:42 PM on November 4, 2012
Anecdotally, one thing I've noticed is that people who are very good at falling asleep stay in bed, with their eyes shut, focusing on what they want to/were just dreaming. People who aren't as good at falling asleep tend to get up and read a book or do some other activity until they feel sleepy, or they lie in bed looking at the clock or thinking about how they should be asleep right now.
If you're looking for a non-prescription way of easing into sleep, it may be useful to think about those examples and decide which pattern your actions are matching. For example, I know that reading AskMeFi should be relaxing, but it won't put me to sleep in the same way that lying in bed doing shavasana will.
In your position, I would probably try the following things:
1. Cut out all caffeine (including cola, coffee, tea and chocolate) or limit it only to mornings
2. Decide on an interesting fantasy that will be my go-to if I wake in the middle of the night
3. Read up on meditation/shavasana and see if there are any tricks or hints to help
4. Drink lots of water (but only because I usually need more water)
I hope this helps!
posted by valoius at 9:10 PM on November 4, 2012
If you're looking for a non-prescription way of easing into sleep, it may be useful to think about those examples and decide which pattern your actions are matching. For example, I know that reading AskMeFi should be relaxing, but it won't put me to sleep in the same way that lying in bed doing shavasana will.
In your position, I would probably try the following things:
1. Cut out all caffeine (including cola, coffee, tea and chocolate) or limit it only to mornings
2. Decide on an interesting fantasy that will be my go-to if I wake in the middle of the night
3. Read up on meditation/shavasana and see if there are any tricks or hints to help
4. Drink lots of water (but only because I usually need more water)
I hope this helps!
posted by valoius at 9:10 PM on November 4, 2012
Listen to an audiobook at low volume. Start listening to it about a half hour before you really want to fall asleep. This will keep you in bed, in the dark, eyes closed, quiet and relaxed. If you listen to the book, you'll be less likely to worry about work, relationships, chores, etc., and less likely to worry about falling asleep. You're not trying to fall asleep and you're not wasting your time lying there; you're just listening to a pleasant book that has nothing to do with work. Let sleep happen.
You should also try total darkness -- make sure no light slips in through the windows. Get heavy curtains or shades to make it 100 percent black in your room. If there's street noise, thick curtains might help with that, too.
posted by pracowity at 5:45 AM on November 5, 2012
You should also try total darkness -- make sure no light slips in through the windows. Get heavy curtains or shades to make it 100 percent black in your room. If there's street noise, thick curtains might help with that, too.
posted by pracowity at 5:45 AM on November 5, 2012
When my spouse and I were on different shifts, I found it useful to just plan to be up for 2 hours when he got home. It meant I was sleeping for ~4 hours, getting up when he got home, then going back to bed for ~4 hours. It actually worked ok - there is some research that suggests that pre-industrial-lighting, people in some parts of the world (including the US) would sleep in 2 shifts, instead of one big 8 hour block.
Here's a link to an article about this:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-16964783
Good luck!
posted by RogueTech at 7:16 AM on November 5, 2012
Here's a link to an article about this:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-16964783
Good luck!
posted by RogueTech at 7:16 AM on November 5, 2012
I am a light sleeper on an 8-5 schedule whose spouse (a bartender) comes home late (11pm - 3am, depending) and also snores. Earplugs plus some kind of noise generator — either a recording of waves on the beach or the Simply Noise smartphone app set to oscillating brown noise — are my current secrets for being able to get a decent night's sleep.
I think it's unreasonable of the snoring partner to essentially say "I'm unwilling to deal with sleeping separately, so you just need to suck it up and deal with my snoring." Sleep deprivation, when done deliberately, is a form of torture. And just because she's not deliberately snoring, that doesn't change the fact that you're still dealing with the emotional, psychological, and physiological effects of having your sleep disrupted regularly. For me, that would be not OK on an "I am unable to function in my life because of this" level of not OK.
IMO, the partner who snores has a responsibility to help find (or at least be actively investigating) ways of reducing the problem.
Once the snoring problem is dealt with, I find the approach valoius suggests helpful: when I wake up in the night I don't check the clock or get up to do anything (other than a trip to the bathroom). Instead I lie in bed, basically in savasana, being aware of my experience and focusing on what I'm grateful for: I'm in a bed that's warm and cozy, the roof over my head is solid, my sweetie is next to me, I can feel one or both of the cats curled up next to my ankle… Sometimes I count my breaths, and sometimes I silently recite a version of the metta meditation that I like until I drift off. Or not. But usually yes.
posted by Lexica at 7:38 PM on November 5, 2012
I think it's unreasonable of the snoring partner to essentially say "I'm unwilling to deal with sleeping separately, so you just need to suck it up and deal with my snoring." Sleep deprivation, when done deliberately, is a form of torture. And just because she's not deliberately snoring, that doesn't change the fact that you're still dealing with the emotional, psychological, and physiological effects of having your sleep disrupted regularly. For me, that would be not OK on an "I am unable to function in my life because of this" level of not OK.
IMO, the partner who snores has a responsibility to help find (or at least be actively investigating) ways of reducing the problem.
Once the snoring problem is dealt with, I find the approach valoius suggests helpful: when I wake up in the night I don't check the clock or get up to do anything (other than a trip to the bathroom). Instead I lie in bed, basically in savasana, being aware of my experience and focusing on what I'm grateful for: I'm in a bed that's warm and cozy, the roof over my head is solid, my sweetie is next to me, I can feel one or both of the cats curled up next to my ankle… Sometimes I count my breaths, and sometimes I silently recite a version of the metta meditation that I like until I drift off. Or not. But usually yes.
posted by Lexica at 7:38 PM on November 5, 2012
This thread is closed to new comments.
For waking up, use a "dawn simulator" style alarm clock, with the brightest light you can get. That makes a world of difference, because it "starts" your circadian rhythm at the right point in your day, rather than having it always out of sync with the sun (and the rest of the world)
For getting to sleep, make sure you have your bedroom as dark as possible - light-blocking shades behind lined curtains (and for even more, you can tape a 2-3" carboard baffle around the inside edge of the window frame, which will block most of what would otherwise sneak around the shade). When you can't get to sleep within 15 minutes or so of quiet reading, sublingual melatonin works wonders.
Other than that, just keep your schedule consistent, seven days a week. If I let myself "drift" into staying up later on the weekends, I feel like crap for the entire next week.
posted by pla at 12:25 PM on November 4, 2012 [1 favorite]