Who are the Yogi Berras of other countries?
October 8, 2012 1:39 AM   Subscribe

Who are the Yogi Berras of other countries? I recently learned about Sepp Herberger, a German soccer coach known for Yogi Berra-like sayings ranging from the obvious ("the game lasts 90 minutes") to the confusing ("the ball is round so that the game can change direction"). Who are some other Yogi-like figures from other countries/languages, and what did they say?
posted by pete_22 to Society & Culture (22 answers total) 17 users marked this as a favorite
“I am very happy because the club is beating records with the sales of new shirts. I don’t sell shirts but there a relation between shirt sales and the performance of the team. If we perform well they sell more shirts.” - José Mourinho
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 1:46 AM on October 8, 2012

There's a great list of football (soccer!) manager quotes here (apologies for a Daily Mail link)
posted by brilliantmistake at 2:10 AM on October 8, 2012

Best answer: Johan Cruijff is the Dutch master of sayings that look very profound, but only when taken at face value. Extra attraction for native speakers is how he mixes his working class Amsterdam accent with words and expressions not fitting there.

A tiny sample:
- If we got the ball they cannot score;
- Every loss has its gain;
- You have to shoot otherwise you cannot score;
- Italians will never beat you, but you can lose to them;
- Football is simple, but the most difficult thing to do is to play simple football;
- I never err, because I find it difficult to make mistakes;
- Chance is logical;
posted by ijsbrand at 2:14 AM on October 8, 2012 [3 favorites]

David Coleman, progenitor of Colemanballs
posted by runincircles at 2:14 AM on October 8, 2012

with link:
to buy by the pound:
posted by runincircles at 2:18 AM on October 8, 2012

Brian Clough
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 2:22 AM on October 8, 2012

Best answer: Australian football legend Jack Dyer;

-"He made a great debut last week, and an even better one today."
- "He's put the game beyond result"
- "It's as dark out there as the Black Hole of Dakota"
posted by Greener Backyards at 2:30 AM on October 8, 2012 [3 favorites]

My favorite Cruijffism: "ieder voordeel heb z'n nadeel": there's always a downside to an advantage (lit = every advantage has its own disadvantage).
posted by likeso at 2:47 AM on October 8, 2012

The wit and wisdom of Cantona may deserve a mention.

- I prefer to play and lose rather than win, because I know in advance I'm going to win.

- When the seagulls follow the trawler, it is because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea.

- Sometimes you get submerged by emotion. I think it's very important to express it – which doesn't necessarily mean hitting someone.

posted by Segundus at 3:32 AM on October 8, 2012

Best answer: Murray Walker, Formula 1 Commentator:

"Do my eyes deceive me, or is Senna's Lotus sounding rough?"
posted by TheOtherGuy at 3:45 AM on October 8, 2012 [2 favorites]

Best answer: There is an Irish Gaelic games commentator (not manager), recently retired, who is famous for his fast-paced witticisms. His name is Mícheál Ó Muircheartaigh, and here are some choice quotations.

You really need to hear the speed of his delivery to appreciate the man, though.

"Teddy McCarthy to John McCarthy, no relation, John McCarthy back to Teddy McCarthy, still no relation."
posted by distorte at 4:14 AM on October 8, 2012 [1 favorite]

Eugene Ormandy, who was the conductor of the Philadelphia orchestra.
posted by randomkeystrike at 4:49 AM on October 8, 2012 [1 favorite]

Best answer: Murray Mexted, New Zealand rugby commentator (and former player) is known more for his inadvertent (?) double entendres, but there are a few choice ones there.
posted by gaspode at 5:18 AM on October 8, 2012

Best answer: A plus-one for Mícheál Ó Muircheartaigh. Here's some of his quotes:

The stopwatch has stopped. It’s up to God and the referee now. The referee is Pat Horan. God is God.

Seán Óg Ó hAilpín... his father's from Fermanagh, his mother's from Fiji, neither a hurling stronghold.

I saw a few Sligo people at Mass in Gardiner Street this morning and the omens seem to be good for them. The priest was wearing the same colours as the Sligo jersey! 40 yards out on the Hogan Stand side of the field, Ciarán Whelan goes on a rampage… it’s a goal! So much for religion.

Mike Houlihan for Limerick. Houlihan, the cattle jobber. He had his jaw broken by a kick from a bullock two months ago. He’s back now. ‘Twas some bullock that broke Mike Houlihan’s jaw!

...and Brian Dooher is down injured. And while he is, I'll tell ye a little story. I was in Times Square in New York last week, and I was missing the Championship back home. So I approached a newsstand and I said, "I suppose ye wouldn't have The Kerryman would ye?" To which, the Egyptian behind the counter turned to me and he said, "Do you want the North Kerry edition or the South Kerry edition?" He had both...so I bought both. And Dooher is back on his feet...
posted by nevan at 5:19 AM on October 8, 2012 [2 favorites]

Best answer: Arsene Wenger:

[On Jose Mourinho after the then Chelsea boss accused him of being a voyeur] "He's out of order, disconnected with reality and disrespectful. When you give success to stupid people, it makes them more stupid sometimes and not more intelligent."

"As long as no-one scored, it was always going to be close."

[Upon being asked what he does with his spare time] "I watch football."

"I don't kick dressing room doors or the cat or even football journalists."

Link for these and 56 more
posted by roofus at 5:21 AM on October 8, 2012

Best answer: Surely its gotta be Big Ron Atkinson

choice quotes

'Someone in the England team will have to grab the ball by the horns.'

'For me their biggest threat is when they get into the attacking part of the field.'

'If you score against the Italians you deserve a goal'

'At international level, giving the ball away doesn’t work too often.'

'Well, either side could win it, or it could be a draw.'

'He must be lightning slow.'


Missing from that list is the brutally racist comments that got him fired from TV, but you cant have everything
posted by criticalbill at 5:43 AM on October 8, 2012

Shigeo Nakashima
-When asked what his major was at Rikkyo University, he answered that he was a baseball major.
-When checking into hotels, he often wrote that his job was "Shigeo Nagashima" instead of "Professional baseball player".
-He forgot the name of the bank that his contract money had been deposited into.
-When trying to return home after a game, Nagashima forgot the location of his house, and had to call his house's maid to ask how to return home. His wife ended up having to take him home from the stadium.
-On May 5, 1973, Nagashima forgot that he had taken his son, Kazushige, to the game with him, and returned home by himself, leaving Kazushige alone at the stadium. Kazushige was safe, having been found by the umpires. May 5 is Kodomo no hi (Children's day) in Japan.
-When appearing as a commentator for a baseball game, he remarked "Hmm, I think the team that scores more runs will win this game."
posted by banishedimmortal at 6:48 AM on October 8, 2012 [3 favorites]

Definitely the wonderful Murray Walker as mentioned above.

"There are seven winners of the Monaco Grand Prix on the starting line today, and four of them are Michael Schumacher."
"The lead car is unique, except for the one behind it which is identical."
"There's nothing wrong with the car except that it's on fire."

And now excuse me while I interrupt myself!
posted by comealongpole at 7:03 AM on October 8, 2012 [2 favorites]

Darts commentator Sid Waddell:

- "When Alexander of Macedonia was 33, he cried salt tears because there were no more worlds to conquer... Bristow's only 27."

- "William Tell could take an apple off your head, Taylor could take out a processed pea"

- "Even Hypotenuse would have trouble working out these angles."

- "Steve Beaton, he's not Adonis, he's THE donis."

- "As Freud said to Jung in Vienna, you can psych up too much for a darts match".

- "There's only one word for it - magic darts."

etc., etc.
posted by Jabberwocky at 7:19 AM on October 8, 2012

When Seve Ballesteros was asked how he managed to four putt on the 16th green of the 1990 Masters, he responded, "I miss, I miss, I miss, I make."
posted by masters2010 at 10:36 AM on October 8, 2012

Gordon Strachan
posted by mippy at 6:30 AM on October 9, 2012

NHL coach Jean Perron is famous for mixing up his expressions, creating "perronismes". They're hard to translate, but you could have something like "put the ox before the horns".
posted by Monday, stony Monday at 5:58 PM on October 9, 2012

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