Condom missing, now what?
October 2, 2012 6:58 AM   Subscribe

I (a man) was just having sex with a ladyfriend, and reached down to make sure the condom was in tact. Low an behold, it's missing. We can't find it anywhere, and she insists it's not inside of her (I tried feeling around down there and couldn't find anything either). But we've looked all around the bed and it's not turning up. Is it possible for the condom to have slipped off inside of her without her knowing or feeling it, even after looking? How long is it safe to wait-and-see?

Yes, she'll be taking a round of Plan B in the morning. Both of us are confident we don't have STDs, thanks for asking.
posted by anonymous to Health & Fitness (20 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
Well, if it were me, as a lady, I'd make an appointment with a gynecologist if I couldn't fish it out myself.
posted by xyzzy at 7:05 AM on October 2, 2012 [3 favorites]

It's totally possible that it is lost inside her and she doesn't feel it. I'm not sure what you mean by "how long is it safe?"... the vagina is self-cleaning, you really don't need to worry about a health emergency. If it's inside of her, it should work it's way out within a day or two at the most. No need for panic here.
posted by sarahnicolesays at 7:06 AM on October 2, 2012 [2 favorites]

It's totally possible that it is lost inside her and she doesn't feel it. I'm not sure what you mean by "how long is it safe?"... the vagina is self-cleaning, you really don't need to worry about a health emergency. If it's inside of her, it should work it's way out within a day or two at the most. No need for panic here.


Or you'l find it in some weird corner behind the bed in a couple days.
posted by latkes at 7:09 AM on October 2, 2012 [7 favorites]

Yes, it is absolutely possible for it to be stuck in there, and the vagina doesn't have fine-detail nerves, so something soft with no edges is unlikely to make itself especially known. If she pulls her knees up to her chest, or squats, you or she may be able to get a better feel around.

The vagina is, I suppose, self-cleaning, but if the condom has sort of stuck itself to the side and doesn't come loose she's probably going to notice some discharge and possibly an unusual odor within a day or two, which is her cue to go to urgent care or her gynecologist.
posted by Lyn Never at 7:12 AM on October 2, 2012 [3 favorites]

I agree with Lyn Never. It is completely possible that its inside of her, it should discharge in a couple of days. If she feels any abdominal pains before it comes out or if its not out by the weekend, she ought to call her gyn.
posted by Yellow at 7:20 AM on October 2, 2012

Have another go at finding it. Make sure you make it all the way back to the cervix. This happened to me once, and it was just balled up into a little 'corner' way in the back of my parts. Shit, often it takes a gyno a while to even find my cervix because it's apparently all twists and turns inside down there. She's probably tense looking for it, so make sure she's relaxed so that her inside muscles aren't preventing you from digging around.
posted by greta simone at 7:24 AM on October 2, 2012 [4 favorites]

What about a douche?
posted by Kazimirovna at 7:27 AM on October 2, 2012

With my particular anatomy, and of course I realize that everyone is different, there is no possible way it could get lost inside me without me knowing. So, if your ladyfriend is absolutely insistent that her hoohah is condom-free, please take her at her word and don't poke your way around down there on a search and rescue mission.

I bet it got lost somewhere in the room, either in the covers or a pillowcase or under the bed or something. If you have any good friends with dogs, borrow the dog for a few hours. I guarantee any good sniffer will have that thing found in no time. (And keep close watch, obvs. Don't let the dog eat the condom.)
posted by phunniemee at 7:29 AM on October 2, 2012 [1 favorite]

When I worked in an Ob-Gyn clinic this was not an uncommon call for us to get and,yes,we retrieved condoms that were in secret parts of lady parts. I would make an appointment just to be safe, because they can get a little yucky if left there too long.
But is there a cat or dog somewhere in this picture? Because there is always the possibility they have a new toy
posted by Isadorady at 8:06 AM on October 2, 2012 [3 favorites]

Uh, perhaps revealing more than I should here, but they can definitely get lost inside without her feeling it.
posted by amro at 8:11 AM on October 2, 2012

Its probably in there. I've gone on this search and its weird and awkward. I had to.. um... really get my hand in there and dig around, snag it with my finger, and pull it out. Her fingers were too short, and I didn't want to spend the afternoon at the gyno, so it eventually.
posted by el_yucateco at 8:25 AM on October 2, 2012

Yeah, it's probably tucked up behind her cervix and you didn't go deep enough with your fingers to feel it.

Anatomy-wise think of the back wall of the vagina as a flat surface with one of those cone-shaped paper cups sticking out in the middle (her cervix). Because of this anatomy, it can actually end up 'behind' her cervix (that is, off to the side but behind the tip).

The standard anatomy side-view doesn't really make that clear, although you can sort of see what I mean in this picture.
posted by zug at 8:46 AM on October 2, 2012

Yep, absolutely possible, and most likely, since one of you would probably have noticed if it had slipped off outside.
posted by randomnity at 9:00 AM on October 2, 2012

My understanding is that any foreign object up there too long carries a (perhaps small?) risk of Toxic Shock Syndrome...
posted by Skwirl at 11:07 AM on October 2, 2012

adding to what zug said, during fun times, the vagina can get a little longer. If you wait a few hours till she's back to not-doing-fun-things status, you can get a better reach up there to feel around the cervix and fish it out if found.
posted by WeekendJen at 11:41 AM on October 2, 2012

This has happened to me more than once. I can't make any kind of medical or biological statement about it, but every time it's happened to me, a) I couldn't feel it, b) I couldn't reach it to fish it out, and c) it came out completely on it's own after a couple of hours.

Speaking of my own anatomy, I know that I generally can't feel things if they're up there (I use the Nuvaring and I can't feel it at all, and could not feel those lost condoms, nor do I feel tampons, unless they're full or not inserted properly), and that things never get stuck up there, they'll always come out, or at least descend down over time to a point where you can use your fingers to fish it out.

And no, I don't have random things stuffed up there all the time :P
posted by ohmy at 1:50 PM on October 2, 2012

It might help if she squats and then reaches inside to feel. Here are a few other tips from WebMD for removing foreign objects:
posted by Colonel_Chappy at 2:07 PM on October 2, 2012 [1 favorite]

It happened to us and when we went to the hospital they couldn't find it. We were told that it is very very common (found it later around the room)
posted by pakora1 at 4:27 PM on October 2, 2012

It's probably wedged into some small space you didn't check. If the condom is coming off during intercourse while you're fully erect, you're wearing a size too big for the size of your penis. I know it isn't something men want to hear, but there it is.
posted by MaryDellamorte at 9:32 PM on October 2, 2012

This happened to a friend - the guy ended up fishing around to retrieve it from a deeper vagina nook. My friend has short fingers and couldn't quite snag it.

Your lady may want some private time to dig around inside (with a sweeping motion from one side to another/around her cervix with two fingers) without witness to the awkward contortions? Instructions for removing a stubborn diva cup may help for positioning to get good access to the depths. Swiveling a vibrator or other safe-for-vjj device around in there could help move it outward or into a more accessible spot.

Having chocolate and a high five waiting when the wayward condom reappears might smooth any embarrassment.
posted by BigJen at 7:09 AM on October 3, 2012

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