How/Where/With Whom to Swing?
August 11, 2005 11:12 PM   Subscribe

My girlfriend wants to try a threesome or a foursome, and I think I'm game. What are good online & offline resources for meeting other couples? I've sifted through a bunch of sites via Google but many are dead-ends, or spam harvesters, or badly designed, or no help at all. Have you tried swinging? How did it go? Where did you meet?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (11 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite

some very good answers to your question posted in this previous discussion.
posted by sophist at 11:29 PM on August 11, 2005

I would actually suggest visiting local sex shops to see if they have any info about swingers groups in your area. Many are quite organized and have regular meetings in a regular place! Good luck :)
posted by DecemberRaine at 12:46 AM on August 12, 2005

Try online personals (Onion, etc.). There are often couples listings.
posted by Rothko at 1:09 AM on August 12, 2005

We know a few couples who swing regularly and they found many folks off of adultfriendfinder when they 1st started. They said after the 1st few times they got invites to local swinger groups and have not needed to use online tools since.
posted by white_devil at 5:51 AM on August 12, 2005

Swinger friends in Florida have mentioned swinglifestyle and swingersdateclub as good places to meet couples (I linked them in an earlier AskMe thread).
posted by the_bone at 7:14 AM on August 12, 2005

I'm involved in he BDSM community, which occasionally overlaps with the swinger community.

I know that most local/regional adult groups have their own Yahoo group; a sort of e-mailing list on steroids. However, the groups can be hard to find; Yahoo has removed most of them from its search index. So in order to find a group near you, you may have to dig up a list of Yahoo adult groups provided by a third party.

Adult Friend Finder is a probably one of the more popular sites for this sort of thing. There's also AdultMatchDoctor. and But the site with the least amount of bullshit appears to be SwingLifeStyle. At least, out of the ones I've been able to find.

You can create a yahoo profile that explains what it is you're looking for. When filling out the info, say that your gender is female. Then, somewhere in the profile, explain that you're a couple. Leave the screen name signed in to Yahoo Instant Messenger as many hours a day as you can. You'll have to weed out a lot of assholes, but you won't lack for responses.

If you have access to an aol account, you can do likewise with their profile database and instant messenger.

And, of course, you can search Yahoo profiles. If you want to search for an "adult" keyword, such as "anal," yahoo will ignore it. That is, unless you put an underscore before it (_anal). Search for people in your area. Even if the ones you find don't sound like good partners for you and yours, you can at least talk to them about the local swinger community.
posted by Clay201 at 7:38 AM on August 12, 2005

I have some info to offer, you can email me at Jenn at jptingle dot com.
posted by Nenna at 9:47 AM on August 12, 2005

jpringle dot com...oops
posted by Nenna at 9:48 AM on August 12, 2005

I also have some insight. email me. see profile.
posted by Corky at 10:40 AM on August 12, 2005

a word of caution about adultfriendfinder... a friend of mine tried that out a couple times right after a long relationship ended hideously. The first match was great, everything he'd hoped it would be. He tried it again, and the person he connected with ended up stealing $700 from his apartment.

I suppose "use caution" goes without saying, though, with anything like that.
posted by gurple at 3:06 PM on August 12, 2005

Craigslist (casual encounters and/or erotic services). Tag your ad as 'mw4w' and search for 'w4mw'. You might also have luck at (intimate encounters) or To find professionals, FWIW, in a strip club, the canonical approach is (discreetly) asking your favorite dancer if she wouldn't mind doing a 'private show' with you and your girlfriend.
posted by xowie at 6:50 PM on August 12, 2005

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