Help me work out a plan for Dad's house
September 6, 2012 4:43 AM Subscribe
Advice sought on packing up, clearing out and selling my dad's home, and on experiences with aged care in Australia.
So some months ago I posted this about my Dad, who I was worried was not coping. To cut a long story short, while he was apparently coping OK when I went to see him in January, he very clearly was not coping in subsequent visits, and I ended up bringing him back to Melbourne with me. He's been diagnosed with a whole slew of health problems including early stage dementia.
Dad is now safely staying with another close family member fairly close to me, who doesn't work and is willing to care for him. He is getting good food and care there. He's getting medical interventions for his many health problems and he sees me and my brother frequently, but he can only stay there temporarily. We had a family meeting last week and agreed that Dad needs to be in a low-care aged care facility. Dad has been coming to terms with this for a while and has agreed to it.
Now I have to pack up, clear out and sell his place in Queensland, move his personal stuff down here and store it, and find him a suitable home. I have enduring power of attorney. The finding a home part doesn't worry me too much - I've been researching places online for a while. We have an ACAT assessment and a Centrelink assets assessment and we definitely need to sell the house to pay his bond for an aged care place. But I've never sold a house or moved stuff interstate and I am terrified of doing something wrong and losing Dad money or losing his stuff. My fears are probably disproportionate to the risks, but they are kind of paralysing me.
One of Dad's old mates (a community-minded chap) is helping keep the place tidy and the garden looked after, and has even made contact with a real estate agent he knows on my behalf. But I don't know what interstate moving costs, how much I should budget for, and lots of little things like: can I rent space in a storage facility and just get stuff moved straight there? It seems difficult to get any info or idea of costs without calling people for quotes, and I would prefer to have some ideas of what's reasonable before I call.
Dad has a lot of books and magazines and I don't want to ditch any until he's had a chance to go through them, so they'll all need to be brought down. He also has a coin collection, not especially valuable (I think) but something he loves dearly, and it's very heavy; should I get it moved by the movers, or a courier, or take it myself on the plane?
I'm planning to fly up in a few weeks' time and pack up his valuables and personal items like books and clothes and get the ball rolling, but I am feeling lost about what I should do and in what order. I almost burst into tears just thinking about it, because it's overwhelming. I feel like I should have a plan before I get there. Please help me plan. Any advice, experience, etc most gratefully appreciated.
Also, if any of you have experience of moving a parent into the aged care system in Australia and have tips or ideas, that would help very much. Even if only to reassure me it's do-able.
So some months ago I posted this about my Dad, who I was worried was not coping. To cut a long story short, while he was apparently coping OK when I went to see him in January, he very clearly was not coping in subsequent visits, and I ended up bringing him back to Melbourne with me. He's been diagnosed with a whole slew of health problems including early stage dementia.
Dad is now safely staying with another close family member fairly close to me, who doesn't work and is willing to care for him. He is getting good food and care there. He's getting medical interventions for his many health problems and he sees me and my brother frequently, but he can only stay there temporarily. We had a family meeting last week and agreed that Dad needs to be in a low-care aged care facility. Dad has been coming to terms with this for a while and has agreed to it.
Now I have to pack up, clear out and sell his place in Queensland, move his personal stuff down here and store it, and find him a suitable home. I have enduring power of attorney. The finding a home part doesn't worry me too much - I've been researching places online for a while. We have an ACAT assessment and a Centrelink assets assessment and we definitely need to sell the house to pay his bond for an aged care place. But I've never sold a house or moved stuff interstate and I am terrified of doing something wrong and losing Dad money or losing his stuff. My fears are probably disproportionate to the risks, but they are kind of paralysing me.
One of Dad's old mates (a community-minded chap) is helping keep the place tidy and the garden looked after, and has even made contact with a real estate agent he knows on my behalf. But I don't know what interstate moving costs, how much I should budget for, and lots of little things like: can I rent space in a storage facility and just get stuff moved straight there? It seems difficult to get any info or idea of costs without calling people for quotes, and I would prefer to have some ideas of what's reasonable before I call.
Dad has a lot of books and magazines and I don't want to ditch any until he's had a chance to go through them, so they'll all need to be brought down. He also has a coin collection, not especially valuable (I think) but something he loves dearly, and it's very heavy; should I get it moved by the movers, or a courier, or take it myself on the plane?
I'm planning to fly up in a few weeks' time and pack up his valuables and personal items like books and clothes and get the ball rolling, but I am feeling lost about what I should do and in what order. I almost burst into tears just thinking about it, because it's overwhelming. I feel like I should have a plan before I get there. Please help me plan. Any advice, experience, etc most gratefully appreciated.
Also, if any of you have experience of moving a parent into the aged care system in Australia and have tips or ideas, that would help very much. Even if only to reassure me it's do-able.
Can't help you with movers etc (I'm in the UK) but I had to do this for my dad. Can you talk to him beforehand about stuff that he definitely doesn't want or won't need and then you can just dispose of that locally (or worst case, pack it all up separately to be disposed of after the move). After I'd done this in my parents' house I had probably no more than a roomful of stuff left that actually needed to be moved.
The other thing that may be useful is to take photos of a lot of the personal effects etc so that when the stuff is in storage you can show him the pictures and say "what do you want to do with this?" rather than trying to describe things. Photos may also be useful mementos of stuff that has to go but has sentimental value.
It's a tough process - best wishes.
posted by crocomancer at 6:32 AM on September 6, 2012 [2 favorites]
The other thing that may be useful is to take photos of a lot of the personal effects etc so that when the stuff is in storage you can show him the pictures and say "what do you want to do with this?" rather than trying to describe things. Photos may also be useful mementos of stuff that has to go but has sentimental value.
It's a tough process - best wishes.
posted by crocomancer at 6:32 AM on September 6, 2012 [2 favorites]
I'm in the US, but this is sort of a universal thing.
The thing that everyone needs to understand is that your Dad will probably not be returning to a large home of his own. He will only need what will fit into his accomodation at his new home.
If it's a small apartment, then move only what he will need to be comfortable there. It it's a room, ditto.
The rest will need to be sold, donated or dumped. Don't store anything. There's no percentage in it.
It is nearly as expensive to move something as it is to buy it new. If the furniture is old, this is definitely true. Same with electronics.
See if there's a firm that will help you setup and stage a tag-sale/yard sale/garage sale, or whatever you call it in Australia.
There may be some momentos, favorite books, etc. Discuss with your Dad exactly what he wants to take with him.
You might want to get with other family members if there are hierlooms that should be distributed to determine who gets what.
Leave enough furniture in the house to stage it for sale. After that, sell or donate it.
Hang in there. It's hard, but it's also very freeing.
I had this discussion with my parents, basically I told them to find a home for their objects d'art because if they didn't it was all going on eBay when the time came. Unfortunately you're not really able to do that now.
Good Luck
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 6:51 AM on September 6, 2012 [1 favorite]
The thing that everyone needs to understand is that your Dad will probably not be returning to a large home of his own. He will only need what will fit into his accomodation at his new home.
If it's a small apartment, then move only what he will need to be comfortable there. It it's a room, ditto.
The rest will need to be sold, donated or dumped. Don't store anything. There's no percentage in it.
It is nearly as expensive to move something as it is to buy it new. If the furniture is old, this is definitely true. Same with electronics.
See if there's a firm that will help you setup and stage a tag-sale/yard sale/garage sale, or whatever you call it in Australia.
There may be some momentos, favorite books, etc. Discuss with your Dad exactly what he wants to take with him.
You might want to get with other family members if there are hierlooms that should be distributed to determine who gets what.
Leave enough furniture in the house to stage it for sale. After that, sell or donate it.
Hang in there. It's hard, but it's also very freeing.
I had this discussion with my parents, basically I told them to find a home for their objects d'art because if they didn't it was all going on eBay when the time came. Unfortunately you're not really able to do that now.
Good Luck
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 6:51 AM on September 6, 2012 [1 favorite]
What you're setting out to do is complex, time consuming & tiring, but also very manageable. Like every big task, make lists and work through them.
In the US&Canada, it's very possible to manage a realtor from a distance while selling a home. Ideally, you'd have a conversation with 2 or 3 about the house before choosing which realtor will list it - you're interviewing to decide which one has the right combination of helpfulness and strategy for you. But it's also okay to just go with the one your dad's mate recommends, especially of you like her/him okay.
The realtor will give you advice about how much to pack up / clean / repair before listing the house. The more of this you do, the better... but it's not necessary to overextend yourself and it's okay to hire or ask for family help. The realtor will know people you can hire to help with all these things too. The costs for this come out of your dad's funds, not yours (though you might have to pay upfront and get reimbursed from the house sale if he's cash poor).
Yes, you can get a moving company to unload things directly into a storage facility. Be cautious about packing up things you won't need/want though. Especially when moving things a distance, it's worth thinking hard about replacement costs.
Having said that, your dad won't need much, but having a space decorated with familiar things will help him feel comfortable in his new space.
Regarding your plan, expect to meet with the realtor; clean, organize & pack up the house (sending lots to charity), sell the house, then move the remainder to your place.
If you can get a helper, do that.
If you have family who might want things from the house, tell them what you are doing and give them a clear chance to express their interest but also a deadline.
posted by Heart_on_Sleeve at 7:04 AM on September 6, 2012
In the US&Canada, it's very possible to manage a realtor from a distance while selling a home. Ideally, you'd have a conversation with 2 or 3 about the house before choosing which realtor will list it - you're interviewing to decide which one has the right combination of helpfulness and strategy for you. But it's also okay to just go with the one your dad's mate recommends, especially of you like her/him okay.
The realtor will give you advice about how much to pack up / clean / repair before listing the house. The more of this you do, the better... but it's not necessary to overextend yourself and it's okay to hire or ask for family help. The realtor will know people you can hire to help with all these things too. The costs for this come out of your dad's funds, not yours (though you might have to pay upfront and get reimbursed from the house sale if he's cash poor).
Yes, you can get a moving company to unload things directly into a storage facility. Be cautious about packing up things you won't need/want though. Especially when moving things a distance, it's worth thinking hard about replacement costs.
Having said that, your dad won't need much, but having a space decorated with familiar things will help him feel comfortable in his new space.
Regarding your plan, expect to meet with the realtor; clean, organize & pack up the house (sending lots to charity), sell the house, then move the remainder to your place.
If you can get a helper, do that.
If you have family who might want things from the house, tell them what you are doing and give them a clear chance to express their interest but also a deadline.
posted by Heart_on_Sleeve at 7:04 AM on September 6, 2012
Two final thoughts:
It might be easier / cheaper to carry the coin collection on the airplane with you than to ship it.
At the end of the day, it's just stuff. You can send it all to charity and everyone will be fine.
posted by Heart_on_Sleeve at 7:08 AM on September 6, 2012
It might be easier / cheaper to carry the coin collection on the airplane with you than to ship it.
At the end of the day, it's just stuff. You can send it all to charity and everyone will be fine.
posted by Heart_on_Sleeve at 7:08 AM on September 6, 2012
I've sold a house in Australia while living in the US. Selling a house long distance is very easy, just remember that the agent works for you and don't be embarrassed to ask a lot of questions. Also make sure they can handle email and the like to keep in touch with you if they are going to be handling things interstate. To give you some idea I only met my Real Estate agent after closing and he sold the house in 2 weeks for more than we were asking.
I have had an amazing moving experience with Wridgways movers. I actually manged to arrange every single thing about the move from the US arriving back in Australia the day before the move to grab up anything I wanted to bring back personally. When you ring up the movers they will want to know what size house, how many bedrooms any special stuff (pianos, valuable painting, large mirrors) they will have to pack that sort of thing and should be able to give you a pretty accurate quote over the phone. Movers can move things into storage and many of the larger places have their own storage facilities so they can hold things until you have a destination sorted.
If you can afford it pay for them to pack, it is a lot less stressful. Don't ship every little thing, just the sentimental stuff and basic furniture. Unless your father is in a very rural area most major charities like the Salvos have trucks and volunteers that will come out and pick up large donations of household contents so it might be worth ringing them.
If money is tight there are garage sales, but to be honest the stress of organizing all that is probably more than you need right now.
Call people for quotes even without an idea. They are used to walking people through the whole moving thing, most of them are very helpful and if they aren't move on to another movers. Don't just go for the cheapest, dodgy joe and his dodgy mates might be cheap but they probably don't have insurance or decent security either.
Moving and selling a house costs a surprising amount of money, remember skimping to save a few hundred bucks here or there because you can do it yourself will shoot your stress levels way up. If you can afford to pay other people to do it, pay them. Pay for good movers to do as much as possible, pay for a good real estate agent, pay for someone else to come in and clean up the house for sale, most larger movers even offer this service as well.
posted by wwax at 8:17 AM on September 6, 2012
I have had an amazing moving experience with Wridgways movers. I actually manged to arrange every single thing about the move from the US arriving back in Australia the day before the move to grab up anything I wanted to bring back personally. When you ring up the movers they will want to know what size house, how many bedrooms any special stuff (pianos, valuable painting, large mirrors) they will have to pack that sort of thing and should be able to give you a pretty accurate quote over the phone. Movers can move things into storage and many of the larger places have their own storage facilities so they can hold things until you have a destination sorted.
If you can afford it pay for them to pack, it is a lot less stressful. Don't ship every little thing, just the sentimental stuff and basic furniture. Unless your father is in a very rural area most major charities like the Salvos have trucks and volunteers that will come out and pick up large donations of household contents so it might be worth ringing them.
If money is tight there are garage sales, but to be honest the stress of organizing all that is probably more than you need right now.
Call people for quotes even without an idea. They are used to walking people through the whole moving thing, most of them are very helpful and if they aren't move on to another movers. Don't just go for the cheapest, dodgy joe and his dodgy mates might be cheap but they probably don't have insurance or decent security either.
Moving and selling a house costs a surprising amount of money, remember skimping to save a few hundred bucks here or there because you can do it yourself will shoot your stress levels way up. If you can afford to pay other people to do it, pay them. Pay for good movers to do as much as possible, pay for a good real estate agent, pay for someone else to come in and clean up the house for sale, most larger movers even offer this service as well.
posted by wwax at 8:17 AM on September 6, 2012
Yes, you can have the removalists move your dad's stuff straight into storage. It will be much cheaper if you pack it yourself first, and knowing how many boxes/cubic metres you have will help with estimates for both the removalists and storage. If you're moving interstate ask for a back load as they're cheaper. I've heard Grace are good. Pack and Send or registered post may be good for the coins if you want to treat them well.
posted by inkypinky at 8:21 AM on September 6, 2012
posted by inkypinky at 8:21 AM on September 6, 2012
This thread is closed to new comments.
Happy to answer any other questions. We used Harcourts Real Estate. I believe they will all offer slightly different commission rates. Apparently Brisbane property folk don't like auctions, who knew?
posted by taff at 6:22 AM on September 6, 2012 [1 favorite]