Refuse a tip?

August 8, 2005 10:21 PM

Is there a tactful way to refuse a tip without offending the tipper?

So I'm a dog walker/pet sitter and I've a new client that is clearly sacrificing a lot for her new puppy. She's a graveyard shift diner waitress with a 45-60 minute (each way) commute. When I went for the pre-visit (standard practice) the neighborhood, house, etc. were intrinsically sketchy - and given the fact that this service is a luxury to a luxury (spoiling your pet) I guarantee many, if not most, people in my position would've just driven by and blown it off, either for fear of their safety or fear of lack of payment.

I stuck through it and the woman is genuinely sincere in her concern and love for her new puppy, and paid for the first week of service. However, when she paid me, she said gesticulated towards her window A/C unit and said "Once my electricity bill goes down, I'll have a little extra for you". Me not being the owner of the business, I obviously appreciate the gesture, but I'd honestly feel lecherous taking extra money from her.

Is there a way I can graciously say "hey, you seem to need the money more than I do, and I'm doing just fine, thanks" without offending her?

posted by Ufez Jones to Work & Money (10 answers total)

say "if they found out that i accepted a tip, they would fire me. i accept cookies though :)"
posted by Tryptophan-5ht at 10:33 PM on August 8, 2005

If she tips you 10%, every tenth bill say, "Don't worry about it. This one's on me." Adjust the percentages as appropriate.
posted by stet at 10:33 PM on August 8, 2005

Best answer: Instead of using it on yourself, you could purchase some treats or dog toys for the puppy with the money and give them to her as a gift, so she wouldn't have to buy them herself. So I guess you would accept them money, but recompensate her in another way so it wouldn't be too hard on her.

Or, you could tell her that you don't accept gratituities? I don't know if that would be a ridiculous thing for a dog walker/pet sitter to say, but it could work.
posted by apple scruff at 10:36 PM on August 8, 2005

Response by poster: Great idea, apple scruff. Will do. I'm open to other suggestions as well, though.
posted by Ufez Jones at 10:53 PM on August 8, 2005

Simply say with a smile on your face and in your heart, "Oh, that's really not necessary." You don't need to say anything about her situation - just keep it very simple.

If she insists, I'd take stet's approach of adjusting the amount owed according to the overpayments.
posted by lambchop1 at 11:53 PM on August 8, 2005

Damn that's a tough one: I've just typed out, and deleted, half a dozen replies. Most likely I'd cringe with dread till she actually offered a tip -- and then I'd just blurt out something like "Keep it, I only soak the rich."

Long ago I tried to be a housepainter. Sometimes I could tell that they could barely afford it, so I'd pitch a low price rather than not work at all. (There were zillions of house painters in Baltimore in the early '80s.) If somebody asked why I was cheap I'd say my expenses are low. That worked best with elderly homeowners; some would smile and say something to show that we understood each other, like "Oh that's good, I was thinkin' if it cost too much I'd do without and let my heir handle it later."

(I never did get very good at soaking the rich, dammit.)
posted by davy at 12:11 AM on August 9, 2005

I don't think you mean "lecherous."

Easy: just say you don't accept tips as a policy, as apple scruff said. Say you find this helps bring in business or something. Certainly don't mention her circumstances - some people get really embarassed.
posted by CunningLinguist at 5:34 AM on August 9, 2005

Love the sporadic freebie way of equivocating. Fits into the realm of how it's done in other tipping businesses, too, in the you-scratch my back-I'll scratch-yours way, i.e. I tip my favorite bartenders well and I'm not a jerk, so they buy me a drink on a regular basis. (An analogy you will likely have to cite to get her to let her give you something for free.)
posted by desuetude at 6:13 AM on August 9, 2005

You are her pet sitter, not her social worker. She pays you to watch her pet, and appreciates what you do. Perhaps she takes great pleasure in taking really good care of her pet. Do you imagine that she is so stupid or incompetent that she doesn't know her own circumstances? If you don't want to treat her as a first-class customer, then perhaps you should recommend a sitter that does.
posted by elderling at 7:08 AM on August 9, 2005

my rule of thumb, refuse it once, *maybe* twice * (using whatever reason). If they insist, it's rude not to take it.

then go by her restaurant, order a piece of pie, and tip fat.
posted by fishfucker at 9:31 AM on August 9, 2005