I broke up with him years ago, but we stayed friends for the dog.

March 5, 2012 4:20 PM

Please help me to break up with someone I've already broken up with.

Let's call my ex-fiancee "Jed". Jed and I dated for four years, we lived together for three. Our breakup was amicable, we both knew it was coming and when I left it was not a surprise to anybody. We said we'd remain friends.

He kept the house and everything in it. I kept the few belongings I brought to the relationship (I moved in with him pretty much straight out of college and didn't have much). The only thing I took with me was the dog.

When we were together, it took me two and a half years to convince Jed to get a dog. Finally, finally, finally he agreed and I found my beloved dog, "Chicken", at the local animal shelter. Jed liked the dog okay at first, and then he totally fell in love with her.

When Jed and I ended things, we agreed that he would have "visitation" with Chicken. This worked out well for both of us: my job was demanding and, living alone, I had a lot less time for Chicken. He was unemployed for much of the next year (wound up losing the house, tough times) and Chicken kept him company during his tough times. He fell into a depression, and I know (from living with the man) that having Chicken around helped him a great deal. Just having a reason to get up and walk around the neighborhood helped him a ton. I'm glad that Chicken could do that for him. I was also glad that he was a free pet-sitter for Chicken during my busy work times.

It has been three years since Jed and I broke up. I have moved to a city three hours away, and I took Chicken with me. I still have friends in the old city, and sometimes I will ask Jed if he'd like Chicken to come over for the weekend that I am there. Jed always enthusiastically accepts. When I pick Chicken up, Jed is all smiles and gushing over how much fun they had and how much he loves her. Chicken ADORES him, as well. The two of them are definitely a pair.

Well...I'm starting to grow weary of all of this. I live far away. I have a new life. I want to move on. At first I thought that remaining friends with Jed would be okay, but now I'm starting to wish we'd just had a complete cut-off. Then you add in the fact that he and Chicken are BFFs, and I know that having Chicken around helps him immensely (and me, when I want to go on vacation and don't have to pay out the nose for a kennel). But she's like my kid, and I know that Jed sees her like that as well. Divorced parents can't just say "Well, I want Kid full-time so say goodbye". The thought of telling Jed to say goodbye to Chicken just tears me up inside. I still care about his well-being, even if I don't love him anymore.

I feel stuck. I want to be done with Jed and move on. I want to have Chicken with me all the time. She's MY dog. I pay for everything (I paid for her, all vet visits, I even buy all the food and send food with her when she stays at Jed's place). I don't really want to be friends with Jed anymore. I don't even want to be friendLY with him. I just want to move on.

On the other hand, I feel horribly guilty even considering cutting her out of his life. He's been through some real tough times and I know that she's been good for him. And she loves him.

What do I do? Should I break up with him for good and cut Chicken out of his life? How can I tell him this? has anyone else ever had a Pet Custody Situation that they wanted to bring to an end?

Am I completely nuts for getting into this situation in the first place?

Am I completely nuts for being such a chicken (haha) about cutting things off?

posted by anonymous to Human Relations (42 answers total)

It has been three years since Jed and I broke up. I have moved to a city three hours away, and I took Chicken with me. I still have friends in the old city, and sometimes I will ask Jed if he'd like Chicken to come over for the weekend that I am there.

It seems, perhaps, like the best option is to just stop offering.

I'm not sure you even need to have a formal conversation. You might know that it's a polite fiction, but there's no reason to proceed as if you've just been busy and haven't made the trip back to your old city for awhile. This will at least cut down on the number of visits, which might lessen your feelings of resentment.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 4:38 PM on March 5, 2012 [9 favorites]

It's interesting that you say you pay for everything, because you don't, really. I mean, sure, you send food with her when she stays with Jed, but you are saving a ton of money by not kenneling him (plus that's better for the dog, at least in my non-dog-owning opinion -- being around people I know and like is better for me than staying in a weird hotel with a bunch of strangers, so I'm probably projecting my own humanhood onto the dog, but whatever).

Anyhow, all of that above that I said is kind of beside the point. You need to talk about this with Jed, even though you don't want to. I don't think you're obligated to bring Chicken to Jed, but what if Jed wants to come see Chicken sometimes? Would that be ok? What about the situation is making you say "I do not want to do this"? Are you planning on not visiting the place where Jed lives anymore? Are you planning to get a petsitter and to go into town on your own, without Chicken? Can you bring Chicken and have Jed do the whole picking up the dog thing while you're at your friend's house? Is it seeing Jed that's bugging you? Is it the long car ride with the dog? What is really bothering you?

Because I don't really see why you want to do this other than you saying "I just want to move on." What about bringing Chicken to see Jed is not moving on? Can you change the situation so that he can still see the dog, but you also get to move on?
posted by k8lin at 4:39 PM on March 5, 2012 [6 favorites]

I agree with PhoBWanKenobi. Just stop offering. Or, if you do offer visitation, ask that he arranges it.
posted by xingcat at 4:39 PM on March 5, 2012 [2 favorites]

Chicken sounds like a dog that's really a red herring.

Your question doesn't look like it's about a dog at all on the front page, and it doesn't look at all like it's about finalizing a breakup on the inside.

Except for a few things, of course. Like what you're not saying about why it's so difficult for you to have Jed in your life, and your conflicted feelings about not even wanting to be friendLY with him, wanting to move on, and yet still wanting to do this dog thing with him.

We don't even know whether Jed cares that much about the dog from what you wrote.

I say, keep the dog, cut off contact with Jed, and if he complains, say "Surely there's another dog out there who could use a great guy like you in its life."

But mostly, cut off contact with Jed.
posted by alphanerd at 4:48 PM on March 5, 2012 [10 favorites]

Yeah I'm confused- are you leaving some pertinent information out of this story?

The way you present it, it's a win-win situation. You get to visit friends in your old city without the responsibility of a pet, while your ex gets to have quality time with chicken.

It's been three years, it doesn't sound like you see Jed much- is your relationship with him holding you back in some way?

You don't need to go out of your way to arrange this visitation, if that is what is causing you stress.

On preview: yeah, tell Jed to get his own dog.
posted by abirdinthehand at 4:51 PM on March 5, 2012 [4 favorites]

Mod note: This is a followup from the asker.

It is not just me offering Chicken to visit, Jed will call me and ask. When he calls he wants to chit-chat as if we are old buddies. I do not particularly want to chit-chat with him...it's just awkward and uncomfortable. He calls me more often than I would like to speak to him.

I thought that I mentioned this in my original post, but apparently it got lost in all of my revisions. I'm sorry about that.

Some notes: Jed loves Chicken. He adores her and she adores him. Chicken helped him through some really tough times and it makes me feel good that she was able to help him out. His times are not so tough anymore and I just want to move on with my life, without him.

posted by cortex (staff) at 4:56 PM on March 5, 2012

I don't really want to be friends with Jed anymore. I don't even want to be friendLY with him. I just want to move on.

I think I *totally* get where you're coming from on the "I just want it to be DONE" tip. It's not about anger, its not weird, it's not - anything. It just STILL IS and you don't want it to be. I really, really have been there.

That said - just stop offering all together. Let it die a slow and quiet death and if Jed contacts you, try to put him off gently and quickly.

If he asks directly, be honest - "I just don't feel we have much of a friendship anymore and I'm not interested in one. I know you love Chicken and he loves you, but he's my dog and I don't really want to share him anymore...maybe you need to think about a dog of your own, now."
posted by tristeza at 4:58 PM on March 5, 2012 [4 favorites]

Jed will call me and ask. When he calls he wants to chit-chat as if we are old buddies.

how about don't take his calls? and don't call him about sitting for the dog when you are in town. if you really feel you must give him an explanation, offer that you are no longer comfortable and/or interested with continuing a relationship with jed on any level—and unfortunately that means he no longer gets to see chicken. if he goes into about chicken, suggest to him that there are a million other dogs who would love the home he can provide. if he still insists, end the conversation with the statement that you have already made up your mind and this is not up for discussion. and again, don't take anymore of his calls.
posted by violetk at 5:08 PM on March 5, 2012 [2 favorites]

Stop taking his calls. Or take his calls, if he finds out you're back in town, and if he asks, tell him "that won't be possible." If he asks follow-up questions, stick with "that won't be possible."
posted by jenlovesponies at 5:08 PM on March 5, 2012 [1 favorite]

I think you should just be direct, if you want to just rip the band-aid off. Tristeza's got it. I would actually not do the whole "stop offering" thing because he'll just keep asking, and wondering, and it'll probably come to some weird dramatic head. Or not. I don't know the man.

It's okay to not want to have any relationship with your ex anymore, even if it means that he'll miss the dog. I don't even think you need to have a reason. You do, however, need to be consistent - you should not, for example, say that he can't visit with the dog when he wants to or you are in his area, but expect him to keep the dog for you when you want to go out of town.
posted by sm1tten at 5:13 PM on March 5, 2012 [2 favorites]

Have you ever considered that the Jed-Chicken indulgence may be preventing him from moving on in his life as well?
posted by nickrussell at 5:14 PM on March 5, 2012 [3 favorites]

I wouldn't just stop taking his calls in this situation; I'd tell him the truth: "I have come to feel that the way we're continuing to see each other is keeping me from really moving on."
posted by BibiRose at 5:18 PM on March 5, 2012 [12 favorites]

Hmm. I think you need to suck it up and keep letting him see the dog. The fact that he didn't originally want it isn't germane. You guys got a dog together, he fell in love with the dog, you guys broke up, now he wants to keep seeing the dog. Its cool for you to be very very harsh with him when he calls, making sure its clear you've moved on from him, but don't stop letting him see the dog. Hell - Suggest he drive to where you are every now and again to pick the dog up. The onus of transporting the dog shouldn't be on you. Try to arrange the hand-off so you don't see one another if you prefer.

If he's really calling because he wants to see the dog then he will get to see the dog. If he's just doing it because he can't move on he'll stop calling.
posted by JPD at 5:18 PM on March 5, 2012 [14 favorites]

I'm going to go against the grain here. Call me sentimental if you like, but you seem to be leaving Jed and Chicken's feelings out of this to some extent. If they are as fond of each other as you say than perhaps you could consider their feelings too.

If the issue is the chit chat or the frequency of Jed's calls then maybe you could address those issues kindly but firmly. It seems to me that for a long time it suited you (to some extent at least) to have Jed look after Chicken, and part of that package is that they have remained/grown more attached to one another.

Break ups that involve animals can be messy (I know this from experience) and doing the right thing by everyone is difficult, if not impossible, but I do think this situation is a bit more complex than you would like it to be, and dealing with it in a way which tries to take account of eveyone's feelings is going to be tricky, but there really is more to this than your feelings alone.

On preview: nthing what JPD said.

I hope things work out for you all.
posted by Chairboy at 5:20 PM on March 5, 2012 [6 favorites]

It's hard and you may feel guilty, but if you really don't want Jed in your life, he's going to have to live without seeing Chicken. People get attached to dogs and it's hard to say goodbye to them, but he will, and he'll move on. I lived with a roommate for two years who had a dog that I loved, and she loved me. We were pals, went on walks together, I took care of her when roomie left town, I took her on car rides. And then it was time for roommate to move to another city, and I was devastated that I wouldn't get to see the dog anymore. I missed her a lot for a few months, just like a break-up, but then I came to accept it and I still love the dog and miss her, but she's happy and fine where she is. If you do decide that you don't want him in Chicken's life anymore, be kind and tell him what the deal is. If you don't, he'll wonder when he gets to see Chicken next. Let him know the truth and let him grieve the loss.
posted by Sal and Richard at 5:20 PM on March 5, 2012

"that won't be possible."

This advice gets trotted out as a panacea on AskMe. It has its time and place, esp. when dealing with irrational or unreasonable people, but it should not be deployed as a "Get Out of Dealing With Other Adult Humans' Feelings FREE" card.

This is nothing that two grownups can't hash out like grownups. Don't repay his past kindnesses w/r/t the dog that you jointly own (even if you do have the lion's share of the custody) with passivity and avoidance.
posted by hermitosis at 5:21 PM on March 5, 2012 [72 favorites]

If this is about Jed, then tell Jed you don't want to be friends with him anymore. If this is about Chicken, then find someone else to watch Chicken when you visit the city where Jed lives.

You can choose not to be friends with Jed and still enable him to spend time with Chicken if that's how you want to play it. The way to make that happen is just to set boundaries for him by not talking with him about anything else except Chicken and the next time it will be convenient for you for him to have a visit with Chicken. This is actually the way many divorced parents handle child visitation, even though it isn't ideal.
posted by Sidhedevil at 5:27 PM on March 5, 2012 [2 favorites]

I mean, I think you got what you wanted from Jed in re: Chicken for some years (dog-sitting, dog-walking, etc.) and now you want to change the rules all of a sudden. Without other context, that seems a bit harsh.
posted by Sidhedevil at 5:28 PM on March 5, 2012 [9 favorites]

If you want to avoid contact with Jed, you really only have two choices - either cut off his contact with Chicken or hand the dog over to him. Only you can decide whether either of those is tenable, but you can't really have your cake and eat it in this situation.
posted by dg at 5:43 PM on March 5, 2012 [4 favorites]

I sincerely think it is bullshit when people in break ups want or expect visitation over pets. And I had a not ideal resolution on the pet issue we my ex husband moons ago and I STILL think it is BS. Your pet is not genetic offspring, it's an animal YOU are owner of since YOU have always paid ALL food and medical expenses and your name is on the adoption papers. So while you were kind to Jed, it was always a favor you were extending.

Jed will miss Chicken more than Chicken will miss occasional visits with Jed. Jed can get his own dog. Chicken can make new canine and human friends in his new city.

Furthermore, I'm going to go flow against the tide here and say Jed got more out of this than you. Although it was helpful that Jed watched Chicken, it sounds like Jed got all the fun of dog ownership without the responsibility. Especially if he calls you up for "play dates" with Chicken and expects you to drive 3 hrs to drop Chicken off, etc. YES, I think Jed is being a little selfish and needy, and frankly, he's asking way way too much of you if he's calling and asking for play dates.

There are some great scripts above. Just letting you know this sounds like a drag. I wouldn't want my ex asking me for this, either, continuously for 3 years, including through a move to a new city.

Morally and ethically it's OK for you to find a kind way to end this obligation.
posted by jbenben at 6:16 PM on March 5, 2012 [4 favorites]

I think you should let him have Chicken. You've got all this new cool life and he's still pining. Chicken would be happy at either place, but if they're bonded, why not?
posted by Ideefixe at 6:49 PM on March 5, 2012 [9 favorites]

What do you think Chicken wants?
posted by Ironmouth at 8:06 PM on March 5, 2012 [7 favorites]

This worked out well for both of us: my job was demanding and, living alone, I had a lot less time for Chicken. ... I was also glad that he was a free pet-sitter for Chicken during my busy work times.... sometimes I will ask Jed if he'd like Chicken to come over for the weekend that I am there. ... having Chicken around helps him immensely (and me, when I want to go on vacation and don't have to pay out the nose for a kennel).

So before, it was convenient that Jed saved you the cost and hassle of kennels and dog-sitters.

I want to have Chicken with me all the time.

And now, you no longer need him to fulfill that service for you. So, don't ask him to take care of your dog for you anymore.

It is not just me offering Chicken to visit, Jed will call me and ask. When he calls he wants to chit-chat as if we are old buddies. I do not particularly want to chit-chat with him...it's just awkward and uncomfortable. He calls me more often than I would like to speak to him.

When he calls and asks, say no thank you. If you don't want to chit-chat with him, then don't chit-chat with him.

You sound awfully resentful of someone who is apparently dealing with you in good faith. "Let's be friends" and he is behaving like a friend. "Let's share custody of Chicken" and he's available when you need him and asks for time with Chicken. If you want to change the terms of the relationship or end it, then change the terms of the relationship or end it.
posted by headnsouth at 8:21 PM on March 5, 2012 [7 favorites]

Am I completely nuts for being such a chicken (haha) about cutting things off?

I think bibirose has the right approach, tell JED that you feel you can't move on because of the arrangement, tell him you need to move on, no hard feelings whatsoever, after all its about you and your life now, not JEDs.

It seems like you still feel partly responsible for JED's happiness specifically under the dog-sharing arrangement. The situation has previously benefited you but you've already decided that at this point in time its no longer an option for you, Chicken or Jed.

Its pretty random and it might be unsuitable but why don't you go to the breeders you got Chicken and just buy a puppy for Jed, parting gift type thing, after all he's saved you alot of money in kennels over the years (its nice to be generous). That would possibly be the kindest way to end things and move on without feeling so guilty - If you feel that's too much responsibility for Jed at this stage or too much money for him, you can promote the idea to him first and maybe visit the breeders together with Chicken and let Jed pick out the dog (and possibly pay for it) one last time, final goodbye, etc.
posted by Under the Sea at 8:56 PM on March 5, 2012 [1 favorite]

too much money for you, sorry
posted by Under the Sea at 8:57 PM on March 5, 2012

I'd be an adult about it and say, "Jed, I need to move on, but the whole Chicken thing is making that hard. I love Chicken and so do you, and I know I talked you into falling in love with her, so I want to be honest with you about this." Then tell him the decision I'd made.

In this case, from all you described, that decision would be to give him Chicken and really, really start over.
posted by batmonkey at 9:35 PM on March 5, 2012 [1 favorite]

Chicken has done a lot for Jed but she was NEVER his dog. She's yours. I don't think you owe him visitation, and the next time he pushes to see her, suggest he get his own dog.
posted by spunweb at 9:38 PM on March 5, 2012 [1 favorite]

Also, I strongly disagree with posters suggesting you give up Chicken. Why would you give him the dog you love, and have been taking care of for years? Chicken does not sound like she's unhappy with you, and while it's totally awesome Chicken helped him while he was depressed, his depression doesn't make Chicken more "his." Nor does you having him watch the dog during the occasional weekend visit to that city.

He needs to go to the rescue (possibly the same one you got Chicken from), and get his own dog. As is, he's getting the love and affection of a trained, healthy dog, while only having to do part of the work.
posted by spunweb at 10:47 PM on March 5, 2012 [2 favorites]

Your relationship is over. You have no obligations to Jed. If it's hurting your feelings or holding you back, you don't need to keep giving Jed access.

However, just silently cutting Jed off without explanation, as some are advising, seems potentially a bit rude or cruel. Jed probably has no strong feeling about your relationship anymore, and is probably unaware that it bothers you.

It seems to me it would be better to tell Jed something like "seeing you brings back too many memories and it hurts me, I'd rather not see you anymore". That's an unpleasant conversation to have, but it would bring things to an end, and it's a bit kinder that just leaving him to wonder what's happened over months of being ignored.
posted by TheophileEscargot at 12:01 AM on March 6, 2012

Legally, of course, the dog is your property and you can do what you want.

Ethically, though, you made an agreement when you broke up: you keep the dog, he gets to see her occasionally. The fact that you're not dating him doesn't relieve you of your obligation to honor the deal you made. And the fact is that you were happy to stick with the deal when it benefitted you. You don't get to now unilaterally decide that the deal is off because you don't feel it's working out for you anymore.

That said, you shouldn't have to drive 3 hours just so he can see the dog (though it's not clear if that's what he's asking you to do). Maybe he could come pick her up and keep her for the weekend every month or two?
posted by myeviltwin at 1:36 AM on March 6, 2012 [4 favorites]

Even with your clarification this is a confusing question. All of the information you've included seems to suggest that Jed was a useful dog sitter for you, and still is, and that that just about defines the extent of your relationship. Your clarification suggests that he takes his dog sitting duties as an indication that you two are still friends, and so calls you occasionally as a result. You seem more exasperated than this situation would seem to warrant, given your description here, so perhaps there is more going on. It certainly seems like Jed is acting in good faith.

Regardless, there are really three choices here:

1) Maintain the status quo.

2) Tell Jed that you cannot talk to him any more because it's getting in the way of your life, and that you're sorry, but Chicken is with you now and he will not get to see her anymore.

3) Tell Jed that you cannot emotionally afford to be friends with him any longer, but you're happy to have him spend time with Chicken when you go out of town/go to meet friends where he lives.

4) Give Chicken to Jed and move on alone.

If you're really concerned about not separating Jed from Chicken (I don't, frankly, think the reverse is much of an issue), then choose 3. It should not be that hard to have an adult conversation that permits dog sharing without being friends. If you don't care that much, ultimately, about that, choose 2. You still have to have an adult conversation, but you can have it once and be done with it.
posted by OmieWise at 6:33 AM on March 6, 2012

People have different values vis a vis the bond between animals and their caretakers and that's where the division in answers comes from here. You need to compartmentalize your feelings about Jed as an ex and about Jed as someone you have a verbal pet visitation agreement with. You have *two separate* discussion topics to cover with Jed 1) you do not want to be friends anymore with him 2) how will the visitation situation change with regards to your new non-friendship? #1 you can decide unilaterally but #2 is an agreement with two parties. For instance, I have a beloved cat who I did not fight for custody for specifically because of my ex's health and wellbeing concerns. She doesn't know that part. We do have an understanding that I
may visit. I would be angry and devistated to find out if my ex aribrarily decided that I can never see my old cat again. On the other hand, "I'm having trouble moving forward in my life and I want to limit our friendship to just rare visits with our old cat." would be immenently reasonable to hear.

Jed will certainly grieve when he learns someday that Chicken has passed away. Do you plan on avoiding that conversation, too?

I'm pretty sure that the dog issue is a red herring to your not moving on anyway. You may find that you still have conflicted feelings about your relationship even without any contact.
posted by Skwirl at 10:36 AM on March 6, 2012 [1 favorite]

Jed and Chicken should still be able to see each other. If you want, you tell Jed when he wants to chit chat that you're feeling like you need to move on in a way where you are friendly but limit it to Chicken.

The two things are not tied together. You can let Jed see Chicken without being friendly friendly with Jed. I think it's wrong to sever their ties because you can't move on.
posted by mrs. taters at 11:06 AM on March 6, 2012

Hermitosis nails it. That's why the comment has been favoured almost 60 times.
posted by chris88 at 12:49 PM on March 6, 2012

You should have a frank conversation with Jed about the way you feel. It's awkward and uncomfortable, but it should solve your problem, and it's the right thing to do in that it's fair and honest to Jed. You'll feel better about yourself and the whole situation in the long run.

I agree with JPD above about leaving the opportunity in place for Jed to see Chicken without it being a burden on you. There are ways to set up this kind of arrangement, and it's the best solution in my opinion.

If you don't want that kind of arrangement, and decide instead to deny him access to Chicken, then you're (arguably) being unfair to Jed. If you choose to go this route, you might consider whether a new dog would be the right decision for Jed (and the new dog) in his circumstances. If so, a good way to end things with Jed would be to facilitate him getting a new dog. It has potential to be a good gesture that helps him to move on as well, if Chicken can't be a part of his life anymore. It's still a distant second in terms of good solutions, in my opinion.
posted by hootenatty at 2:39 PM on March 6, 2012

Also, don't ever, ever, ever buy a pet for someone else without their permission. This is so horrible an idea that Stephen King has written a short story about it. (LT's Theory of Pets in Everything's Eventual.)
posted by Skwirl at 3:55 PM on March 6, 2012

Yeah, I meant consider with Jed whether it's a good idea to get him a new dog, to include him in the process. That probably wasn't clear in my post.
posted by hootenatty at 5:07 PM on March 6, 2012

If you were completely honest with yourself, is there any chance you might be able to admit to yourself that -- in spite of all the love and care you have showered upon Chicken over the years, and the seeming rightness and fairness of her remaining with you -- that nevertheless, Chicken belongs with J.?

There is more I have to say, but I hesitate to do so without more background information. Memail me if you wish!
posted by tenderly at 1:08 AM on March 7, 2012

Legally, of course, the dog is your property and you can do what you want.

^^^Just wanted to remind you that you should never accept reckless legal "advice" like this from people on the internet who might not have any idea what they're talking about.
posted by hermitosis at 7:50 AM on March 7, 2012 [2 favorites]

One last thing: the only time I've had people insist on having access to a pet that was mine and not theirs, it was a last ditch attempt at emotional manipulation. I completely understand why him calling you for chit chat and then asking you to drive 3 hrs one way so he can see your dog has your hackles raised.
posted by spunweb at 3:31 PM on March 10, 2012 [1 favorite]

I'm surprised so many people are saying Jed can do without seeing Chicken. Dogs' feelings matter, too. Perhaps you think a dog will just get over it and don't notice, but I don't think that's true -- dogs care a lot about the people they have grown to love and it hurts a dog to deny it that relationship.
posted by jayder at 9:21 PM on March 14, 2012

If he calls you when he knows you will be in town asking to see Chicken, and it works for you to let him keep Chicken for a few days, text him "X can bring Chicken by on Friday and pick him up on Sunday." No more phone conversations, no more in person meetings.

Chicken wins by getting to see his friend, he wins by getting to see Chicken, you win by not having to talk to him.
posted by thebrokenmuse at 8:58 PM on March 22, 2012