Awwwkwaaarrddd

February 29, 2012 5:55 PM

How to deal with that awkward stage when growing hair long?

I've had the same haircut for a half-decade now and I'm bored with it. So I've decided to grow it out long-ish. I had very long hair in high school, so I have a general idea of how it will look (i.e. not awful) and I'm well aware of the pitfalls of having longer hair. I'm basically aiming at this.

Unfortunately, this is what is happening on my head right now (it's a little wet; it doesn't actually feather like that normally.) As you can see, I currently have No Haircut. If I wear it down like that, I'm a beret and set of bongos short of being a caricature of a beatnik. I can slick it back with pomade but because it's so short and somewhat voluminous, it puffs up giving me almost Doc Brown hair. I'd rather not use more pomade, and I'm not going to use gel or mousse or putty.

So please help me, MetaFilter. I don't have to worry about it being too conservative because I work alone in an office with one other person. I'd rather it be something that can be worn styled, but also doesn't look terrible if I don't put product in it. Photos are welcome.

posted by griphus to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion (22 answers total)

I am at about exactly the same stage, and I don't have great solutions (other than buy a hat! Buy two!) But what I have been doing is getting the back of my head trimmed every six weeks or so to avoid the mullet look until the top grows out closer to where I want it. It keeps the whole mop looking marginally neater (and that's about the best I think I can hope for, right now.)
posted by restless_nomad at 6:07 PM on February 29, 2012 [1 favorite]

I have had your exact growing-it-out oh-god-grow-faster hair problems. I am a lady, so my solutions may not be your desired solutions but:

Do get haircuts. At least trims. Not to make it shorter but to make it presentable over the growing-out period. Hairdressers can do some serious "shaping" without seriously effecting length.

I wear a lot of headbands at this stage, but unless you're okay with this being your look for a bit, you might not want to try that.

Hats! Outdoors: hats on. Indoors: some guys look cute with a toque on indoors, maybe you are one of them!
posted by hepta at 6:16 PM on February 29, 2012

I'd agree about getting the back trimmed regularly, especially if you're hair is "voluminous." You've said that you don't want to use gel, mousse, or putty, but really, some sort of product is going to be your friend, particularly while you're going through the awkward stage. I really like Moroccan Hair oil. It's not cheap, but the trick is a tiny bit goes a long way. Just put a few drops, no more, in the palm of your hands and smooth it over wet or dry hair. It keeps my somewhat coarse hair smooth and healthy-looking, and keeps it from getting too puffy. And one of the normal (not travel-sized) bottles lasted me almost a year, which made the price seem more reasonable.
posted by kaybdc at 6:17 PM on February 29, 2012

Response by poster: You've said that you don't want to use gel, mousse, or putty, but really, some sort of product is going to be your friend...

Yeah, I use this pomade. If anyone has any recommendations for pomade, I am totally open to trying a new brand. The Moroccan Hair oil is a little expensive to buy sight unseen but I'll find out if anyone I know has some I can try.
posted by griphus at 6:21 PM on February 29, 2012

Do you see this page, full of handsome medium-length men's haircuts? They all have something in common (most likely, anyway): they are styled. It's not that bad. Get this heat protector/straightener (it's sold for ~$5 at my local drug store) and a blow dryer and spend five minutes styling it each morning. OR you can buy a pomade and put that on after your hair is dry (like, when you get to work).

Product will help make this awkward time really easy, maybe even pleasant. You'd be surprised! When your hair is that short, it will never, ever take more than 5 minutes.
posted by two lights above the sea at 6:21 PM on February 29, 2012

I forgot to mention, the heat protector/straightener is more of a heat protector and smoother; my hair isn't stick straight after blow drying. It's voluminous and shiny and it looks like I got a professional blow-out. The difference between using it vs. not using it is unbelievable.
posted by two lights above the sea at 6:23 PM on February 29, 2012

Also, you should trim your beard so that it's all even. Just sayin'.
posted by two lights above the sea at 6:25 PM on February 29, 2012 [1 favorite]

When I was growing my hair out from that length, really the only thing to do was embrace the Startled Baby Monkey look and try not to think about it too much.

also, yeah, hats. all the hats. NO FEDORAS.
posted by elizardbits at 6:32 PM on February 29, 2012 [3 favorites]

Yeah, it's an annoying stage.

Personally, I just didn't give a damn during that stage. Later on, though, I realized that I should have let have a stylist, which I did eventually, manage it for me with the understanding that I was trying to grow it out long.

Depending on your waviness/thickness/pattern, there can be multiple intermediate styles that are acceptable.

Personally, I was too vain to use bobby pins, but I used gel (in retrospect, styling putty would have been better) to slick it mostly back until it was long enough to ponytail.

At this intermediate stage, seeing the waviness of your hair, you might have some luck with a hairbrush and blowdryer on hot. Brush your hair back/away from face while blowing hot air to set it to where you want it. Working some mousse into towel-dried hair will help it set.

If your hair is particularly coarse/thick-shafted, getting your hair dyed the same colour will help make it more manageable.
posted by porpoise at 6:51 PM on February 29, 2012

After non-preview; (traditional) pomade may be overkill for you, it's a little too heavy. If you need to use product, you'll probably want something light like a mousse and blow drying on hot. If mousse isn't doing it for you, I think this is a bit heavier than gel and not nearly as shiny, especially when applied to (very) dry hair. Its what I use for my now short but very stiff and coarse hair, but I could see it really helping calm this intermediate stage. Not expensive, three/four bucks for a jar.

If you don't like the idea of putting gunk in your hair, "clays" (a step stiffer over putties and pomades) are definitely not going to be your cup of tea.

You can also try not shampooing your hair every-other-day or every third day, or only twice a week; your natural oils will help dampen the frizz but you might have musk-issues, depending on the people you hang around/work with and your own physiology and physical exertion levels.
posted by porpoise at 7:01 PM on February 29, 2012

I once dated a guy with hair having a texture and wave like yours, who happened to be of the Rockabilly persuasion. If you would like your hair to stay back and minimize the puff without using more pomade, then apply the pomade when it's wet, comb it into shape, and let it dry under a nylon stocking. Yes, I'm saying you want a doo rag. When it's dry, run your fingers back through it to loosen it bit, or use a wider-toothed ACE rubber comb - but don't use a brush on it, or it will poof.
posted by peagood at 7:02 PM on February 29, 2012 [1 favorite]

I'm a girl who has grown my hair out from a pixie a few times. The advice to visit a hairdresser is a good one.

In general, though, you just have to put up with a hairstyle you don't like for a while, so just fight the dysmorphia as best you can and enjoy the results come summer.
posted by elizeh at 7:07 PM on February 29, 2012

I haven't tried the Moroccan oil yet but I use a few drops of canola oil (yes, from the kitchen) rubbed on my palms then smoothed over my hair, esp the ends, and the reduction in frizz has been life changing.
posted by selfmedicating at 7:21 PM on February 29, 2012

I spent that phase of things using a spare pair of safety glasses as an Alice band. This was great for me since I worked in a lab. If you work in an office it's going to seem a bit odd.
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 7:35 PM on February 29, 2012

peagood: "I once dated a guy with hair having a texture and wave like yours, who happened to be of the Rockabilly persuasion. If you would like your hair to stay back and minimize the puff without using more pomade, then apply the pomade when it's wet, comb it into shape, and let it dry under a nylon stocking. Yes, I'm saying you want a doo rag. When it's dry, run your fingers back through it to loosen it bit, or use a wider-toothed ACE rubber comb - but don't use a brush on it, or it will poof."

Seconding this. I am a girl with poofy (occasionally short) hair and putting on a hoodie or bandana while it's still wet from the shower really helps flatten things out.
posted by junques at 9:05 PM on February 29, 2012

FWIW, I think the way it looks in your picture is cute.
posted by kinetic at 3:24 AM on March 1, 2012

If you go to a stylist and tell them you want to grow your hair out, they will cut it so that it looks good while doing so. They really can do a lot without extending the grow out time.

You have to be willing to either spend some time and money making it look styled, or accept that it's not going to have a style during this period. No one WANTS to have to style their hair to make it look good, but it's usually necessary anyways.
posted by sarahnicolesays at 6:36 AM on March 1, 2012

I also agree that your hair looks awesome as it is now.
posted by KogeLiz at 6:36 AM on March 1, 2012

Your hair and beard is similar to my boyfriend's, who periodicially decides his goal in life is to look like dirty Paul McCartney. I'd slick it back like that (he just uses water) , get the ends trimmed up, even up your beard, and call it a day.
posted by jabes at 7:31 AM on March 1, 2012

I have grown and cut off more ponytails than I can count or remember. It seems that I really enjoy growing hair, but I cannot commit to keeping it long. As a result I am always somewhere in between (I clipperize my hair down to 1/2" once every 18 months or so then start over).
Anyway, in my opinion, the thing to do is to completely embrace the shaggy, but you have to look barbershop suave everywhere else to compensate for it.
My advice is to lose 90% of that beard and show off your great face. Maybe go for a chin beard and keep it real trim. Trim your hair around your ears during the grow out stage to look sharp and if you want then grow it back out once you've got the length in place. If your budget will allow for fashion, then lose the Buddy Holly specs and get some rectangular frames like in the I-want-to-look-like-this pic. It's all about looking as salon sharp as possible while you're in the shaggy stage, but embracing the shaggy. Keep your in between hair clean and conditioned and don't be afraid of the gringo-afro.
posted by No Shmoobles at 7:32 AM on March 1, 2012 [1 favorite]

I have been there, my friend. It will try your soul. You will look like an idiot, but you will pass through this stage and achieve total hair consciousness. The greater your suffering, the richer your reward. Embrace your inner clown.
posted by Kafkaesque at 9:49 AM on March 1, 2012 [1 favorite]

Finally - a question I have personally relevant experience with. In June 2010 when I started growing my hair out, I looked like this (link). Now, in March 2012, my hair looks like this (link).

How did I deal with the awkward stage when growing my hair out? I started brushing my hair towards the back of my head, tucking it behind my ears on the sides, that sort of thing. I tried using a little bit of gel & hairspray, with mixed results. I had some seriously shaggy sideburns at one point too. When I started trimming those to be roughly even with the bottom of my ears, that helped with the overal aesthetic of things. Also, my workplace isn't as chill about hair as yours. I've caught some teasing about my hair, but it has mostly been from old guys who are pissed off about going bald.

As I think others have mentioned previously, I only wash my hair about every other day. I've also been pretty good about getting the ends trimmed every couple of months. Pretty much every time, the stylists have said I should come in every 6 weeks at most, but 2 months is close enough for me & works a little better financially.

There are a couple of other things I've done that seemed to help promote hair growth & get me through the awwwkwaaarrddd phase a little more quickly. I took folic acid for a few months, and I've made a point of stimulating my scalp when shampooing my hair. That is supposed to help stimulate bloodflow, which theoretically in turn promotes hair growth.

You'll get there soon enough, don't worry.
posted by AMSBoethius at 7:18 PM on March 1, 2012