Sad meows.
January 4, 2012 11:57 AM Subscribe
I think that, thanks to the introduction of a new cat in his life, my 7-month-old kitten is depressed. How do I make him feel better?
I adopted a male kitten back in September last year when he was about 2-3 months old. He got used to me and my partner very quickly and was (still is) extremely affectionate towards us. He also grew to be quite playful and it was always incredibly funny/amusing to watch him zoom around the house and do his cat stuff.
Even though he always seemed fairly happy by himself, I've always felt that he was in need of a companion as there were several other cats in the house he was born in (including his siblings), so a few weeks ago (mid-December, was a Christmas/Birthday present from my partner) I took another kitten home, a 5-6 month old neutered female (she's significantly smaller).
Both kittens were introduced and spent about a week or so hating each other (with plenty of hissing and some growling) but that went away and now they get along fairly well, to the point that they may even lie in the same couch and sleep together.
However, this is because the older kitten seems... oddly subdued. He used to be full of energy and would bounce around the house and now all he does is eat and sleep. He simply does not play at all, nor is he interested in his usual toys. He will, at times, go after the female and try to wrestle with her (biting each other and rolling around together, but there's never hissing/growling, I think they're playing) but that always ends up with him moving away again and going to lay down somewhere else.
He went to the vet not so long ago and I got told there was nothing wrong with him, and he's scheduled to be neutered soon.
My question is basically, how do I get my playful, vibrant kitten back?
I adopted a male kitten back in September last year when he was about 2-3 months old. He got used to me and my partner very quickly and was (still is) extremely affectionate towards us. He also grew to be quite playful and it was always incredibly funny/amusing to watch him zoom around the house and do his cat stuff.
Even though he always seemed fairly happy by himself, I've always felt that he was in need of a companion as there were several other cats in the house he was born in (including his siblings), so a few weeks ago (mid-December, was a Christmas/Birthday present from my partner) I took another kitten home, a 5-6 month old neutered female (she's significantly smaller).
Both kittens were introduced and spent about a week or so hating each other (with plenty of hissing and some growling) but that went away and now they get along fairly well, to the point that they may even lie in the same couch and sleep together.
However, this is because the older kitten seems... oddly subdued. He used to be full of energy and would bounce around the house and now all he does is eat and sleep. He simply does not play at all, nor is he interested in his usual toys. He will, at times, go after the female and try to wrestle with her (biting each other and rolling around together, but there's never hissing/growling, I think they're playing) but that always ends up with him moving away again and going to lay down somewhere else.
He went to the vet not so long ago and I got told there was nothing wrong with him, and he's scheduled to be neutered soon.
My question is basically, how do I get my playful, vibrant kitten back?
Also, yeah, the rolling around and biting is playing. They would bush up their tails and hiss/growl if they were actually mad. You might hear squawking sometimes but it's not a big deal.
posted by OnTheLastCastle at 12:09 PM on January 4, 2012
posted by OnTheLastCastle at 12:09 PM on January 4, 2012
Best answer: I think you have to give it time and see what shakes out. I do think their personalities change over time and with the addition of other pets. My super quirky boy became more subdued, standoffish and "regular cat" when I got a female kitten a few years ago. She was the dominant cat, despite being four months old to his one year-old, for whatever reason that's how they decided things. So while he seemed happy to be around her, he was more subdued and just kind of not the same guy, although healthy.
Unfortunately, the female kitten suddenly developed a rare liver disease and got very sick and had to be put down. The older one's personality just snapped right back to the super playful quirky doglike guy he had been.
Two months ago I got a male kitten. My older boy is now four years old and the way THEY have decided things is that he's the boss, which the baby is more or less fine with, and my older guy's personality is the same as it ever was.
So just an anecdote but I really don't know how these things work, but maybe your guy isn't feeling like the dominant cat, so he's just performing his duty as the second fiddle, stay out of the way guy?
posted by sweetkid at 12:15 PM on January 4, 2012 [2 favorites]
Unfortunately, the female kitten suddenly developed a rare liver disease and got very sick and had to be put down. The older one's personality just snapped right back to the super playful quirky doglike guy he had been.
Two months ago I got a male kitten. My older boy is now four years old and the way THEY have decided things is that he's the boss, which the baby is more or less fine with, and my older guy's personality is the same as it ever was.
So just an anecdote but I really don't know how these things work, but maybe your guy isn't feeling like the dominant cat, so he's just performing his duty as the second fiddle, stay out of the way guy?
posted by sweetkid at 12:15 PM on January 4, 2012 [2 favorites]
Might it just be that they are playing together more than you realise / see and thus he's just not needing to play with his toys / you as much as he did?
posted by Martha My Dear Prudence at 12:15 PM on January 4, 2012 [9 favorites]
posted by Martha My Dear Prudence at 12:15 PM on January 4, 2012 [9 favorites]
Sounds like to me they are playing, fighting is usually full of lots of noise. A few weeks isn't really that long for the cats to get to know each other and to settle in their new arrangements. Give him a few more weeks at least.
Your cat is also getting older and is doing what older cats do for the most part, which is eat and sleep, between that and winter weather coming in I suspect you'd have seen a similar change anyway. Maybe if you get some toys and encourage him to play with you otherwise he might be all played out from playing with the new cat while you are at work or whatever too and so not have as much energy for crazy antics when you are home.
posted by wwax at 12:18 PM on January 4, 2012
Your cat is also getting older and is doing what older cats do for the most part, which is eat and sleep, between that and winter weather coming in I suspect you'd have seen a similar change anyway. Maybe if you get some toys and encourage him to play with you otherwise he might be all played out from playing with the new cat while you are at work or whatever too and so not have as much energy for crazy antics when you are home.
posted by wwax at 12:18 PM on January 4, 2012
As others have said, the cats will do less hyperactive playing and more eating & sleeping as they get older-- that's not a problem, necessarily. The cats are also getting some of their need for affection & socializing from each other rather than relying on you and your partner, which isn't necessarily a bad thing either.
When I moved into my current house and became a multi-cat household for the first time, both cats became less likely to demand attention from the people in the household, because they socialize with each other as well as with us. They're still affectionate with us as well, so we figure it's fine, and it sounds like your cats are in a similar situation.
posted by Kpele at 12:21 PM on January 4, 2012
When I moved into my current house and became a multi-cat household for the first time, both cats became less likely to demand attention from the people in the household, because they socialize with each other as well as with us. They're still affectionate with us as well, so we figure it's fine, and it sounds like your cats are in a similar situation.
posted by Kpele at 12:21 PM on January 4, 2012
Some of this may be the onset of male hormones. I watched a neighbor’s adorable male kitten turn into a complete turd as he became a tom, and then back into an adorable adult cat after she finally agreed to neuter him. But I think it’s very likely that your kitten is also reacting badly to the introduction of another kitten to the household. He was your baby, and he just got displaced.
Give him lots and lots of one-on-one attention, and when possible, love on the junior kitty when he’s in another room.
posted by timeo danaos at 12:30 PM on January 4, 2012
Give him lots and lots of one-on-one attention, and when possible, love on the junior kitty when he’s in another room.
posted by timeo danaos at 12:30 PM on January 4, 2012
Cats don't generally suffer from depression. Abrupt change in energy levels in an adult cat would be a possible cause for health concerns, but in an adolescent cat it's likely just being an adolescent cat. They have growth spurts on and off until around 2 years old so you'll see sleep patterns change several times, and they often also spend part of that period being little assholes, including phases of aloofness.
And he's got a pack now. He may even feel like he's got someone to take care of (or defend from other potential mates) and so you're seeing him trying to be the big man. That should chill some after his neutering.
In any case, it is unlikely that your cat is sad.
posted by Lyn Never at 1:05 PM on January 4, 2012 [2 favorites]
And he's got a pack now. He may even feel like he's got someone to take care of (or defend from other potential mates) and so you're seeing him trying to be the big man. That should chill some after his neutering.
In any case, it is unlikely that your cat is sad.
posted by Lyn Never at 1:05 PM on January 4, 2012 [2 favorites]
Sometimes my new young cats (YAY! MY NEW YOUNG CATS!) spend like two days sleeping. They are growing (and I am stuffing them full of great food so they grow as much as possible). So I do feel like I see periodic shifts in personality, from manic to sleepy... but I'm personally ascribing it to like "legs getting longer suddenly." Also you know... this might be good? When my kittens were newer in the house, they were edgy, spastic, hyper. Now they're flat on their backs, legs spread (cc: barely feral dot tumblr dot com), all passed out. Because they're comfortable--and they get that they're going to stay.
I would say see how this shakes out? I do not think you're harming your kitten. They're still working out their dominance and whatnot; it takes time.
posted by RJ Reynolds at 2:24 PM on January 4, 2012 [1 favorite]
I would say see how this shakes out? I do not think you're harming your kitten. They're still working out their dominance and whatnot; it takes time.
posted by RJ Reynolds at 2:24 PM on January 4, 2012 [1 favorite]
Best answer: I don't think it is depression, per se, but your original kitten may benefit from a little extra TLC from you. I adopted a stray female kitten in September, vet estimated her to be about 6 months. She was absolutely wild and always up to mischief. I also thought she could benefit from some extra companionship, and about six weeks after I got her I got a male kitten her age. After the initial adjustment period to my surprise he became the dominant cat and her personality definitely became more subdued.
In the past month or so I have made a concerted effort to give her more one-on-one attention--more personal lap time, more one-on-one play (this is easy because she has a favorite mousie that the other couldn't care less about) and if she's on my lap and the male cat tries to get her off I gently push him down.
It seems to have made a difference. He's definitely still the dominant one, and her personality isn't what it was, but she's more lively and is more likely to assert herself over him.
Or I could be a crazy over-analyzing cat lady. Always possible.
posted by Anonymous at 2:38 PM on January 4, 2012
In the past month or so I have made a concerted effort to give her more one-on-one attention--more personal lap time, more one-on-one play (this is easy because she has a favorite mousie that the other couldn't care less about) and if she's on my lap and the male cat tries to get her off I gently push him down.
It seems to have made a difference. He's definitely still the dominant one, and her personality isn't what it was, but she's more lively and is more likely to assert herself over him.
Or I could be a crazy over-analyzing cat lady. Always possible.
posted by Anonymous at 2:38 PM on January 4, 2012
Agreeing with what's said above about making sure your kitteh gets one-on-one time. Also, we've had success with Feliway as a stress reducer while the cats adjust to the new domestic arrangement. It helped my friend's very senior cat accept a new kitten, and helped my IBD cat calm down during and after vet visits. Ask your vet about it. It's available as a spray and as a plug-in. (I wouldn't leave the plug-in unattended when you leave the house. It's supposed to be fine, but one of ours got quite hot and the husband is concerned it would be a fire hazard.)
Make sure you have at least two litterboxes, if possible, and two separate food/water areas so both cats are comfortable eating and have a place they can claim as their own.
posted by theplotchickens at 3:27 PM on January 4, 2012
Make sure you have at least two litterboxes, if possible, and two separate food/water areas so both cats are comfortable eating and have a place they can claim as their own.
posted by theplotchickens at 3:27 PM on January 4, 2012
That's exactly how my older cat (who was around the same age as yours) changed when we got his little brother. They play-fight, chase, and cuddle/lick each other all the time, but the older one became more subdued and stopped playing with us or with toys. When we bring out the toys, he'll just watch his brother play. He seems fine, though, not depressed. He still loves to be petted and will come rub against my legs (the younger never does this.)
I think that's just how things changed when the dynamic shifted.
posted by callmejay at 3:49 PM on January 4, 2012
I think that's just how things changed when the dynamic shifted.
posted by callmejay at 3:49 PM on January 4, 2012
Best answer: Although your older kitty is male and has been in your family longer, it's very possible that your new female kitty is the dominant one which has caused your boy kitty to become subdued. I doubt there is really anything you can do about his personality. You could try playing with him more one-on-one (something on a stick or a laser toy, etc.).
Continue to make sure he's eating, drinking and using the litter box as he should. Should any of that change, get him to your vet asap.
The wrassling is very normal. I have two pairs of cats and the ginger pair will go from sleeping, to bathing, to all out war in just a minute or so. And two minutes later they're back to cuddling each other.
FYI: I had a pair of brothers who did a personality switch sometime before they were a year old. It was really odd and seemed to happen in a day, but one went from bold and outgoing to shy and skittish and the other went from shy and skittish to bold and outgoing. They stayed that way until their deaths at five (stroke) and seven years old (kidney failure).
Cats are weird.
posted by deborah at 7:43 PM on January 4, 2012
Continue to make sure he's eating, drinking and using the litter box as he should. Should any of that change, get him to your vet asap.
The wrassling is very normal. I have two pairs of cats and the ginger pair will go from sleeping, to bathing, to all out war in just a minute or so. And two minutes later they're back to cuddling each other.
FYI: I had a pair of brothers who did a personality switch sometime before they were a year old. It was really odd and seemed to happen in a day, but one went from bold and outgoing to shy and skittish and the other went from shy and skittish to bold and outgoing. They stayed that way until their deaths at five (stroke) and seven years old (kidney failure).
Cats are weird.
posted by deborah at 7:43 PM on January 4, 2012
How much time are you away from home? They could be doing most of their running-around-playing while you're not there, and then he's exhausted when you get home. (One reason that springs to mind is if the new cat is still not used to you humans, and she prefers to play when you're not there.)
posted by anaelith at 3:33 AM on January 5, 2012
posted by anaelith at 3:33 AM on January 5, 2012
I have a 4-year-old cat and he's clearly the "man" of the house. I think, however, when it comes to females he tones down his maleness but if there are other men in the room, he hisses at them. Very weird. The cat is territorial. In your case, I think when there is other presence, such as a female kitty, he probably feels a bit watched, so he tones down his antics. If my cat thinks you aren't watching him, he will jump around, run and climb on countertops; if he knows you are, he behaves.
Side note: Your cat isn't depressed, believe me. Having been through depression, lol I know for a fact he isn't.
posted by InterestedInKnowing at 4:27 AM on January 5, 2012
Side note: Your cat isn't depressed, believe me. Having been through depression, lol I know for a fact he isn't.
posted by InterestedInKnowing at 4:27 AM on January 5, 2012
Response by poster: Thank you all for your answer. I'll be watching the male closely as he seems to be just too sleepy/lethargic at times, even though he's eating and going to the litterbox just fine.
anaelith: I am home pretty much 24/7, so that's unlikely. They do play with each other but not that often.
posted by Trexsock at 7:02 AM on January 5, 2012
anaelith: I am home pretty much 24/7, so that's unlikely. They do play with each other but not that often.
posted by Trexsock at 7:02 AM on January 5, 2012
This thread is closed to new comments.
Lethargy can be a problem, but eating and sleeping is most of a cats life. Many cats sleep 16-20 hours a day!
posted by OnTheLastCastle at 12:07 PM on January 4, 2012