Christmas gift exchange

December 5, 2011 5:38 PM

A coworker who is above me on the job title rank has given me a gift card at Christmas for past several years. I feel odd not getting him anything but I can't afford to get everyone in the office a gift, what could I do for him though?
posted by sandyp to Human Relations (16 answers total)

Can you bake? I usually make a batch of cookies for the office as a collective whole and a few special treats for selected individuals.

Here is a recipe for truffles that is extremely simple and quite cheap as well. Maybe you could decorate a few generic gift boxes to put them in (this is what I usually do).

It usually cost me about $30 to make enough cookies for about 40 people and another $30 or so to make the truffle boxes, though I tend to get the good quality chocolate so I a sure that it could be done for even less. A weekend is the longest it has ever taken me.
posted by Shouraku at 5:48 PM on December 5, 2011 [3 favorites]

I've always been told that it is generally considered bad form to get a gift for your superiors. It might look like brown-nosing. They are welcome (and sometimes expected) to get you a gift, but you're not required to get them a gift (especially if you can't afford it).

Something homemade -- liked baked goods -- sounds like the best bet if you feel obligated to get him something. Plus, this way, you can probably give something to everyone (i.e., bake enough cookies to share with the whole office).

Also: the boss may have expensed your gift. For example, I know that my company will be getting me a gift. It will probably be "from" my boss, but the company paid for it.
posted by asnider at 5:59 PM on December 5, 2011 [3 favorites]

The rule of thumb is not to "gift up". If you guys are friends outside of work, give him a gift outside of work. Otherwise, baked goods for the whole office.
posted by elizeh at 5:59 PM on December 5, 2011

As an add-on to bringing baked goods, it was common practice in my office to carry your box of cookies or whatever around to the desks of people you were friendly with. Combines ease of baking for whole office, not worrying about who's not eating sugar/butter/whatever, and social nicety of thinking of someone.
posted by momus_window at 6:04 PM on December 5, 2011

Another vote for not giving anything to someone who is senior to you. Baked goods for the office would be welcome, though, or perhaps a fruit basket.
posted by Lesser Shrew at 6:07 PM on December 5, 2011

Nothing is necessary. If you want, you could give him a card with a small container of chocolates or cookies attached. I am in a very male-dominated workplace, so I would not give a male coworker, especially above me, anything I baked.
posted by chickenmagazine at 6:07 PM on December 5, 2011 [2 favorites]

I am in a very male-dominated workplace, so I would not give a male coworker, especially above me, anything I baked.

That's actually a good point. It *shouldn't* be an issue, but in many places it certainly could be.
posted by asnider at 6:10 PM on December 5, 2011

It might be a nice to write him a note or card saying that you just wanted to take the opportunity to let him know how much you enjoy working with him, how you'll always laugh when you think about Project Fiasco X, how much you enjoy the [product purchased by gift card], and that you wish him a very happy 2012.
posted by argonauta at 6:12 PM on December 5, 2011 [1 favorite]

I always gave my superiors christmas cards with heartfelt, personalized thanks in them (when i felt that way, at least). they seemed to really, really appreciate that.
posted by dpx.mfx at 6:22 PM on December 5, 2011 [1 favorite]

Yep, never give "upstream" -- it's weird.
posted by AwkwardPause at 6:41 PM on December 5, 2011

The rule of thumb is not to "gift up".

FWIW, in Asian workplaces the superior gives to the subordinate.
posted by gregoreo at 7:58 PM on December 5, 2011

Best answer: From another point of view: I've always considered it very normal to give my boss/manager a gift during the holidays. If you're able to coordinate it, it's a nice touch to give something (e.g. a card or gift certificate) from your department. We've done this at work for the past several years and it's gone over very well.

As someone in a managerial role, I always give a gift of some kind to everyone in my department. It's always something that I've thought about carefully, paid for with my own money, and think that everyone will like. I will say this though: it's awfully nice to receive something as well . . . even if it's small. Really, truly, all cliches aside, it's the thought that counts.
posted by WaspEnterprises at 8:57 PM on December 5, 2011 [3 favorites]

If you're able to coordinate it, it's a nice touch to give something (e.g. a card or gift certificate) from your department.

A joint gift from the entire team is generally OK. "Gifting up" is mostly an issue, I think, when it is a single individual giving a gift to his or her boss.
posted by asnider at 9:39 PM on December 5, 2011

Gifts flow down the hierarchy, not up. Send him an appreciative handwritten thank-you letter, that's all you owe him, nothing more.

It's also more than most people will be giving him! People are inordinately thrilled by thank-you letters, IME.
posted by tel3path at 3:22 AM on December 6, 2011

I am in a very male-dominated workplace, so I would not give a male coworker, especially above me, anything I baked.

I also work in a very male-dominated workplace and have never had a problem gifting baked goods. For what it's worth, I think it has a lot to do with making sure that everyone gets a gift so that it doesn't appear to be sentimental favoritism or romantic interest.
posted by Shouraku at 9:13 AM on December 6, 2011

I agree with asnider that a joint gift might be the way to go - I have a similar situation in my workplace in that my boss gives each team member a small gift, and one of my colleagues has organised a collection so that we can give her a gift from the whole team together.
posted by shiny shoes at 9:47 AM on December 6, 2011