Bildungsroman, easy on the Roman?
November 5, 2011 11:00 PM Subscribe
Coming of age novels or memoir about surviving bad parenting that are not too painful to read?
I can handle implied peril, just don't enjoy the very edgy, in-you-face stuff that some people find moving. I don't like horror films or seeing animals in peril on PBS, either.
I can handle implied peril, just don't enjoy the very edgy, in-you-face stuff that some people find moving. I don't like horror films or seeing animals in peril on PBS, either.
Best answer: The Duke of Deception, Geoffrey Wolff
Bad Blood, Lorna Sage
posted by scody at 11:53 PM on November 5, 2011
Bad Blood, Lorna Sage
posted by scody at 11:53 PM on November 5, 2011
Room, by Emma Donoghue
Written from the child's perspective, everything is implied or misunderstood and left to the reader to interpret.
posted by tracicle at 11:55 PM on November 5, 2011
Written from the child's perspective, everything is implied or misunderstood and left to the reader to interpret.
posted by tracicle at 11:55 PM on November 5, 2011
Best answer: I think Room may qualify as too painful to read. It's really pretty obvious what is going on, to an adult reader.
posted by snorkmaiden at 12:08 AM on November 6, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by snorkmaiden at 12:08 AM on November 6, 2011 [1 favorite]
I actually don't think Room is about bad parenting at all. If anything, it's about impressively good parenting despite a horrifying situation.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 12:29 AM on November 6, 2011 [4 favorites]
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 12:29 AM on November 6, 2011 [4 favorites]
Best answer: My favorite is The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls.
posted by treehorn+bunny at 12:40 AM on November 6, 2011 [5 favorites]
posted by treehorn+bunny at 12:40 AM on November 6, 2011 [5 favorites]
The Bloody Jack series by LA Meyer, coming of age, but not bad parenting (her parents die within the first 3 chapters of the first book). As far as Room goes, horrible situation, but pretty good parenting IMO. Anne of Green Gables and Anne of Avonlee are good too, sorry I only seem able to come up with female roles... Artemis Fowl or Harry Potter? Seriously I taught middle school for too long as the young adult books seem to be the ones coming to mind.
Good luck and happy reading.
posted by Jayed at 12:42 AM on November 6, 2011
Good luck and happy reading.
posted by Jayed at 12:42 AM on November 6, 2011
Best answer: OH! The city of Ember! Has both a male and a female coming of age story! =D
posted by Jayed at 12:43 AM on November 6, 2011
posted by Jayed at 12:43 AM on November 6, 2011
Best answer: In her memoir Tender At The Bone, Ruth Reichl writes quite candidly about her mother's mental illness and resultant erratic parenting.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 1:15 AM on November 6, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 1:15 AM on November 6, 2011 [1 favorite]
Best answer: I'm desperate to read Jeanette Winterson's new memoir Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal, which was recently serialised on the radio and sounds as fantastic as her semi-autobiographical novel Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit, which I have read and highly recommend. Both books deal with Winterson's upbringing in an avidly religious household in the north of England, and in particular the fallout on her adoptive parents' discovery that Winterson is gay.
posted by HandfulOfDust at 2:42 AM on November 6, 2011 [3 favorites]
posted by HandfulOfDust at 2:42 AM on November 6, 2011 [3 favorites]
How about Samantha Bee's book? I heard her talk about it a while ago on Fresh Air and forgot about it until I saw your question--think I might have to pick it up, it sounded great.
posted by seriousmoonlight at 3:49 AM on November 6, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by seriousmoonlight at 3:49 AM on November 6, 2011 [1 favorite]
Another Louise Fitzhugh (this was often a topic in her work): Nobody's Family is Going to Change.
posted by likeso at 5:35 AM on November 6, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by likeso at 5:35 AM on November 6, 2011 [1 favorite]
Best answer: The Paul Zindel books?
Pardon Me, You're Stepping on My Eyeball!
My Darling, My Hamburger
The Pigman and its sequel
I Never Loved Your Mind
The parents vary in their awfulness (some are just neglectful rather than mean), but the alienation is there.
posted by Melismata at 5:38 AM on November 6, 2011 [1 favorite]
Pardon Me, You're Stepping on My Eyeball!
My Darling, My Hamburger
The Pigman and its sequel
I Never Loved Your Mind
The parents vary in their awfulness (some are just neglectful rather than mean), but the alienation is there.
posted by Melismata at 5:38 AM on November 6, 2011 [1 favorite]
Best answer: They might be too light for what you're looking for, but Lemony Snicket's Series of Unfortunate Events books are hysterical and have this in spades.
posted by Mchelly at 5:54 AM on November 6, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by Mchelly at 5:54 AM on November 6, 2011 [1 favorite]
Best answer: Seconding The Glass Castle. Excellent writing,terrible parenting. But the parenting is more neglect/crazy based than physically abusive, so there is no great sense of peril or fear.
posted by SLC Mom at 6:19 AM on November 6, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by SLC Mom at 6:19 AM on November 6, 2011 [1 favorite]
Best answer: 'Dinner at the Homesick Restaurant' - Anne Tyler
posted by h00py at 6:30 AM on November 6, 2011
posted by h00py at 6:30 AM on November 6, 2011
Best answer: The Man Who Loved Children by Christina Stead. The parents are horrifying, but the book itself isn't brutal to read. It's great.
posted by Francolin at 6:45 AM on November 6, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by Francolin at 6:45 AM on November 6, 2011 [2 favorites]
Best answer: Agreeing with the Glass Castle recommendations. Adding Running With Scissors. Terrible ideas about child care, but not too depressing.
posted by troublewithwolves at 7:22 AM on November 6, 2011
posted by troublewithwolves at 7:22 AM on November 6, 2011
Lullabies for Little Criminals, possibly.
And, Fall on Your Knees is something I've read and re-read.
I also agree with the Glass Castle recommendations - but found Half Broke Horses just as compelling, but less brutal, with the upbringing more a product of the time, rather than shitty parenting. I think Bastard Out Of Carolina is the first book I ever read in the genre.
Reading the suggestions for Tender at the Bone (a great read) and Running With Scissors and Room reminds me that I want through a phase of reading books about bad things that happened to children (including the Lovely Bones and some others) and I had to make sure that I spaced them out and read some lighter fare in between, because the world was looking pretty ugly, and they're poignant because even when they're fiction, they're true.
posted by peagood at 7:33 AM on November 6, 2011 [1 favorite]
And, Fall on Your Knees is something I've read and re-read.
I also agree with the Glass Castle recommendations - but found Half Broke Horses just as compelling, but less brutal, with the upbringing more a product of the time, rather than shitty parenting. I think Bastard Out Of Carolina is the first book I ever read in the genre.
Reading the suggestions for Tender at the Bone (a great read) and Running With Scissors and Room reminds me that I want through a phase of reading books about bad things that happened to children (including the Lovely Bones and some others) and I had to make sure that I spaced them out and read some lighter fare in between, because the world was looking pretty ugly, and they're poignant because even when they're fiction, they're true.
posted by peagood at 7:33 AM on November 6, 2011 [1 favorite]
Best answer: Don't let's go to the dogs tonight was quietly passed around my siblings as a good book.
Bibliotherapy, using a book to understand and start discussing complex issues, has some strong research behind it and you might find specific book lists helpful. My kids came from difficult backgrounds, and one of our first major therapy breakthroughs came after watching The Color Purple, and then reading the book. Since then, they all frequently read what one of their therapists calls "survivor stories" - A child called it, Room, Not Without My Daughter, Candy, Daddy's Girl, etc.
Secretly I called them abuse porn because that was their role initially - they would obsessively read and re-read the accounts of abuse, but couldn't read on to the healing/rebuilding ending.
YA books are great for this, and a good librarian can load you up with a tailored reading list. Try here too: http://librarybooklists.org/fiction/children/jbibliotherapy.htm
And I am totally assuming this is based on personal need, not just random reading pref, my huge apologies if I'm overreaching. But certain books saved me as a kid, and did so much for my kids.
posted by viggorlijah at 7:55 AM on November 6, 2011 [1 favorite]
Bibliotherapy, using a book to understand and start discussing complex issues, has some strong research behind it and you might find specific book lists helpful. My kids came from difficult backgrounds, and one of our first major therapy breakthroughs came after watching The Color Purple, and then reading the book. Since then, they all frequently read what one of their therapists calls "survivor stories" - A child called it, Room, Not Without My Daughter, Candy, Daddy's Girl, etc.
Secretly I called them abuse porn because that was their role initially - they would obsessively read and re-read the accounts of abuse, but couldn't read on to the healing/rebuilding ending.
YA books are great for this, and a good librarian can load you up with a tailored reading list. Try here too: http://librarybooklists.org/fiction/children/jbibliotherapy.htm
And I am totally assuming this is based on personal need, not just random reading pref, my huge apologies if I'm overreaching. But certain books saved me as a kid, and did so much for my kids.
posted by viggorlijah at 7:55 AM on November 6, 2011 [1 favorite]
Best answer: Ellen Foster? Bee Season by Myla Goldberg, or My Name is Asher Lev. The Rapture of Cannaan is about a girl raised in a cult, but it may be a little too brutal for your taste.
posted by kittenmarlowe at 7:56 AM on November 6, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by kittenmarlowe at 7:56 AM on November 6, 2011 [1 favorite]
Best answer: Running with Scissors by Augusten Burroughs
posted by eleslie at 8:01 AM on November 6, 2011
posted by eleslie at 8:01 AM on November 6, 2011
Best answer: I enjoyed A Girl Named Zippy: Growing Up Small in Mooreland, Indiana. It is witty and sweet, but her father is a bit of a rogue and gambler. I think it exactly fits your criteria.
posted by thebrokedown at 8:15 AM on November 6, 2011
posted by thebrokedown at 8:15 AM on November 6, 2011
Best answer: Betty Smith's A Tree Grows in Brooklyn.
posted by Iris Gambol at 9:57 AM on November 6, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by Iris Gambol at 9:57 AM on November 6, 2011 [2 favorites]
The Pursuit of Love & Love in a Cold Climate (often published in a single volume and definitely best read together): these are Nancy Mitford's lightly fictionalized memoirs of her childhood in the very early part of the 20th century. The many-siblinged Mitford family was British aristocracy--I started to write aristocrazy there, and it would have been appropriate. Their parents had some strange ideas about how best to raise children: they felt that girls should not be educated at school, so the sisters all stayed home, read voraciously, and were often very bored. Several of them ran away and/or married very young. Their mother was vague and psychologically absent; their father was a bad-tempered tyrant who often had loud rages and was given to corporal punishment. The books gloss over some of this and contain a great deal of humour, but you do get an idea of the mostly neglectful, sometimes abusive/controlling parenting. They are very, very readable and enjoyable, but I do think they would fit your criteria.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 12:59 PM on November 6, 2011
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 12:59 PM on November 6, 2011
Response by poster: Every time I try David Sedaris there is something about animals being hurt rather gratuitously. I'm afraid I'm a real wimp about that stuff.
posted by R2WeTwo at 3:26 PM on November 6, 2011
posted by R2WeTwo at 3:26 PM on November 6, 2011
Response by poster: These are wonderful suggestions, many familiar so you're right on target. I can't wait to dive in! I must recommend S.E. Hinton for any who've not already found her. Start with "The Outsiders."
posted by R2WeTwo at 3:29 PM on November 6, 2011
posted by R2WeTwo at 3:29 PM on November 6, 2011
Best answer: She Got Up Off the Couch, a kind of sequel to Zippy (mentioned above), was a really optimistic story.
posted by amtho at 4:40 PM on November 6, 2011
posted by amtho at 4:40 PM on November 6, 2011
The Center of Everything by Laura Moriarity sticks out in my mind even though it's been a few years since I've read it. Definitely not too dark.
Also, White Oleander by Janet Fitch fits the bill, although this one is a little heavier than the first.
posted by smalls at 5:55 PM on November 6, 2011
Also, White Oleander by Janet Fitch fits the bill, although this one is a little heavier than the first.
posted by smalls at 5:55 PM on November 6, 2011
I really enjoyed Andrea Ashworth's Once In A House on Fire, but I have the feeling it does have some descriptions of physical abuse. A book I loved as a YA was Jacqueline Wilson's 'Waiting for the Sky to Fall', which also has a very intense relationship between the teenage protagonist and her boyfriend.
The Adrian Mole series features a LOT of dysfunctional parenting, but it's a comic series of novels. One part that sticks in my mind is when they told Adrian how much of a disappointment he was to them as a son, then his mother says 'It's our fault - we should have named you BRETT'.
posted by mippy at 4:21 AM on November 7, 2011
The Adrian Mole series features a LOT of dysfunctional parenting, but it's a comic series of novels. One part that sticks in my mind is when they told Adrian how much of a disappointment he was to them as a son, then his mother says 'It's our fault - we should have named you BRETT'.
posted by mippy at 4:21 AM on November 7, 2011
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posted by rabbitfufu at 11:03 PM on November 5, 2011 [1 favorite]