wtf
October 15, 2011 8:31 PM Subscribe
While I was at work this evening, my wife had to call the cops on a guy doing something really horrific in our apartment complex. The guy left before the cops showed up. We're terrified. What now? Details, possible animal cruelty triggers, after jump...
My wife was coming home with her friend when they saw a guy nailing puppies to a tree. It looked like he had a shopping bag full of them. Now we don't really know what to do and are finding it difficult trying to think straight. We just moved in here a month ago and I'm fixated on moving out ASAP. Immediately though I'm just concerned about getting through the night. I'm exhausted from a long day at work and have been dealing with increased anxiety as of late and this situation certainly isn't helping...
I'm not even sure what I'm seeking advice on. We're both just a little messed up right now.
My wife was coming home with her friend when they saw a guy nailing puppies to a tree. It looked like he had a shopping bag full of them. Now we don't really know what to do and are finding it difficult trying to think straight. We just moved in here a month ago and I'm fixated on moving out ASAP. Immediately though I'm just concerned about getting through the night. I'm exhausted from a long day at work and have been dealing with increased anxiety as of late and this situation certainly isn't helping...
I'm not even sure what I'm seeking advice on. We're both just a little messed up right now.
Oh my God. What happened to the puppies?
I would notify your local SPCA with a description of the dude, they could probably get some publicity on the incident and maybe someone will recognize him and bring him in?
posted by Anonymous at 8:38 PM on October 15, 2011
I would notify your local SPCA with a description of the dude, they could probably get some publicity on the incident and maybe someone will recognize him and bring him in?
posted by Anonymous at 8:38 PM on October 15, 2011
Holy crap. First, get some sleep.
Others will probably come give better advice for coping, but I'll try. Please take care.
posted by The Biggest Dreamer at 8:38 PM on October 15, 2011 [2 favorites]
Others will probably come give better advice for coping, but I'll try. Please take care.
- Try to remember that this is one nutty person, and is not necessarily indicative of problems with your whole neighborhood or even apartment complex.
- Your wife did a heroic thing by calling the cops! I'm proud of her. And now the police are on the case (I presume).
- I don't know how to say this politely, but try not to expend brain cells trying to make sense of this guy's actions. There are some things in this crazy world that just don't make any goddamn sense. Trying to analyze it might stress you out more than it would help you cope.
posted by The Biggest Dreamer at 8:38 PM on October 15, 2011 [2 favorites]
Wow, I'm traumatized just reading that. Seriously horrifying -- I'm so, so sorry she had to witness that.
Watch a goofy movie tonight, or maybe a Pixar. Something light and hopeful. Finding Nemo always makes me happy!
posted by imalaowai at 8:40 PM on October 15, 2011
Watch a goofy movie tonight, or maybe a Pixar. Something light and hopeful. Finding Nemo always makes me happy!
posted by imalaowai at 8:40 PM on October 15, 2011
Try to soothe yourselves. Hot bath, calming music, soft jammies. Lots of hugs, hold hands, try to get some sleep. I agree that trying to make sense of this guy is a waste of time and energy. Some things just have no reason. Try to focus some positive energy together. I'm so sorry this happened to you.
posted by raisingsand at 8:42 PM on October 15, 2011
posted by raisingsand at 8:42 PM on October 15, 2011
Would it be possible or helpful to go to a hotel for tonight? Getting away from the scene of that trauma might make it easier to cope with in the short term.
posted by jacquilynne at 8:50 PM on October 15, 2011 [3 favorites]
posted by jacquilynne at 8:50 PM on October 15, 2011 [3 favorites]
Stay in a hotel tonight. Consider moving if possible. If not, invest in better locks and install bars on your windows if you can afford it.
IANA(psycholist/therapist/threat expert/etc.), but my understanding is that animal cruelty past a very young age is one of the THE classic signs of violent sociopathy. See, e.g., http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Macdonald_triad, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychopathy. I recall Gavin de Becker also discussing this in The Gift of Fear.
In your case, I'd be particularly concerned that the man did the horrific behavior IN your apartment complex. I don't know the setup of your complex, but mine has a locked gate at the front: only neighbors can get in, and we all keep a watch out for what goes on in the courtyard. Even less neighborly complexes usually have some kind of eyes on the courtyard. If this man is a neighbor, then I'd be especially concerned. If he's not a neighbor but no one else in the complex did anything about this grossly horrible conduct, then I'd be concerned about one's neighbors.
For my part, I would not feel safe there again for a long time. I know moving can be expensive. So you may not have the resources to move. At a minimum, however, I'd figure out stronger home safety measures and consider taking a self-defense class. Maybe also read The Gift of Fear, if you haven't already. Given that this guy's conduct took place in your apartment complex, I think there could be a real safety issue -- it's not enough to just say that this is one crazy guy, the way you could if he had done this on the street.
posted by Nx at 9:00 PM on October 15, 2011 [1 favorite]
IANA(psycholist/therapist/threat expert/etc.), but my understanding is that animal cruelty past a very young age is one of the THE classic signs of violent sociopathy. See, e.g., http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Macdonald_triad, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychopathy. I recall Gavin de Becker also discussing this in The Gift of Fear.
In your case, I'd be particularly concerned that the man did the horrific behavior IN your apartment complex. I don't know the setup of your complex, but mine has a locked gate at the front: only neighbors can get in, and we all keep a watch out for what goes on in the courtyard. Even less neighborly complexes usually have some kind of eyes on the courtyard. If this man is a neighbor, then I'd be especially concerned. If he's not a neighbor but no one else in the complex did anything about this grossly horrible conduct, then I'd be concerned about one's neighbors.
For my part, I would not feel safe there again for a long time. I know moving can be expensive. So you may not have the resources to move. At a minimum, however, I'd figure out stronger home safety measures and consider taking a self-defense class. Maybe also read The Gift of Fear, if you haven't already. Given that this guy's conduct took place in your apartment complex, I think there could be a real safety issue -- it's not enough to just say that this is one crazy guy, the way you could if he had done this on the street.
posted by Nx at 9:00 PM on October 15, 2011 [1 favorite]
Best answer: Whatever it is you're thinking of doing tonight, insofar as moving out or changing the lock or whatever goes, I urge you to sleep on it first.
You called the police -- that was the wise thing to do. I don't think you need to go so far as to move yourselves, because after a horrible incident like that, your landlord probably now has a strong interest in making THAT guy move, or outright evicting him. And the police probably have a strong interest in offering him a lovely new home in a jail cell. So I strongly, strongly doubt that whoever this guy is is going to be either living in, or welcome in, your apartment complex for much longer at all.
Even though he left before the cops showed up, I'm certain that the cops knocked on doors looking for any other witnesses, and have been working on finding this guy. Animal cruelty cases get treated pretty damn seriously, and that's pretty damn cruel. The cops want this guy behind bars just as badly as you want him out of your apartment complex.
As for tonight -- you have had an extreme shock, and those emotions need time to metabolize. Whatever full-scale comfort thing you can think of, do it. Or whatever will distract you most, do it (my apartment was broken into last year, and after the cops came and took our statement and dusted for prints and all that, my roommate and I watched a totally cheesy bad horror movie about a guy who turns into a turkey-headed mutant or something). If you think of some other detail over the next couple days, feel free to call the police again (if you have the name of the person working the case); but you've done a good thing, and the cops are going to be VERY interested in getting this guy, and will work to get him.
Good luck.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:02 PM on October 15, 2011
You called the police -- that was the wise thing to do. I don't think you need to go so far as to move yourselves, because after a horrible incident like that, your landlord probably now has a strong interest in making THAT guy move, or outright evicting him. And the police probably have a strong interest in offering him a lovely new home in a jail cell. So I strongly, strongly doubt that whoever this guy is is going to be either living in, or welcome in, your apartment complex for much longer at all.
Even though he left before the cops showed up, I'm certain that the cops knocked on doors looking for any other witnesses, and have been working on finding this guy. Animal cruelty cases get treated pretty damn seriously, and that's pretty damn cruel. The cops want this guy behind bars just as badly as you want him out of your apartment complex.
As for tonight -- you have had an extreme shock, and those emotions need time to metabolize. Whatever full-scale comfort thing you can think of, do it. Or whatever will distract you most, do it (my apartment was broken into last year, and after the cops came and took our statement and dusted for prints and all that, my roommate and I watched a totally cheesy bad horror movie about a guy who turns into a turkey-headed mutant or something). If you think of some other detail over the next couple days, feel free to call the police again (if you have the name of the person working the case); but you've done a good thing, and the cops are going to be VERY interested in getting this guy, and will work to get him.
Good luck.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:02 PM on October 15, 2011
A local or area no-kill shelter or humane organization is likely to have staff members or trained volunteers who are special cruelty investigators. If you could talk to one of those people and tell them the whole story, including which police department is involved, they can join in the investigation. As importantly, though they're obviously not counselors, they have seen it all, and if you can tell them how you're reacting, they might have some perspective or words of comfort, or perhaps could point you to another resource.
I know I'd most likely be up all night crying. I'm very sorry. Am secretly hoping it's a horrible mistake based on half-seen Halloween decorations or something.
posted by Occula at 9:09 PM on October 15, 2011 [3 favorites]
I know I'd most likely be up all night crying. I'm very sorry. Am secretly hoping it's a horrible mistake based on half-seen Halloween decorations or something.
posted by Occula at 9:09 PM on October 15, 2011 [3 favorites]
After you are settled... Take a night in a motel/hotel if you have to.
Please know/make sure your landlord (the apartment manager) is aware of the incident in full (police have probably interviewed him/her to check out the suspects details).
If you still feel (tomorrow or days afterward) that you want to move:
Then please let your landlord know, respectably, that you don't want to live there anymore. There may or may not be a clause in your lease agreement that could grant you release... or at least the landlord could negotiate with you to allow it.
I would looking at your lease for ways out and also suggest searching for apartment lease questions here for whatever negotiating you may have to do.
posted by Bodrik at 9:34 PM on October 15, 2011
Please know/make sure your landlord (the apartment manager) is aware of the incident in full (police have probably interviewed him/her to check out the suspects details).
If you still feel (tomorrow or days afterward) that you want to move:
Then please let your landlord know, respectably, that you don't want to live there anymore. There may or may not be a clause in your lease agreement that could grant you release... or at least the landlord could negotiate with you to allow it.
I would looking at your lease for ways out and also suggest searching for apartment lease questions here for whatever negotiating you may have to do.
posted by Bodrik at 9:34 PM on October 15, 2011
Best answer: I've heard that playing Tetris can help your brain deal with bad experiences. They've done honest-to-goodness experiments on it with people who have PSTD. And anecdotally, if I've had really ugly nightmares, I've found that playing Tetris for half an hour helps clear my brain of images I don't want to think about better than anything else. Just in case it might be similarly helpful to one of you guys, here's a link to an online Tetris game.
posted by colfax at 9:38 PM on October 15, 2011 [13 favorites]
posted by colfax at 9:38 PM on October 15, 2011 [13 favorites]
This thread is closed to new comments.
Smoke some pot, chill out and try to forget it. Nothing can be done about this unless the puppies are still around.
posted by TheBones at 8:37 PM on October 15, 2011