Kink resources for my therapist?
August 18, 2011 2:54 PM Subscribe
My therapist is not kink-aware, but she'd like to be. Can you point me to some good reading materials for her?
It would be very helpful, in our sessions, to be able to talk about dominance and submission and for both of us to have an understanding of what power-play entails and how it functions.
I've explained my own reasoning, a little bit, but keep coming up against walls where there are things my therapist just ... doesn't know, or understand. She is totally happy to learn about BDSM, though, and has asked me to suggest some reading material for her.
What are some good introductory books that she and I might be able to read together, to educate ourselves about the land of kink?
We are particularly looking for works that focus on submission.
Ideally, I'd pick out one (non-fiction) introductory book, something super-accessible but not dumbed-down. We'd also both be happy to read scholarly articles, journalistic articles, or even blog entries that are particularly insightful.
Suggestions?
It would be very helpful, in our sessions, to be able to talk about dominance and submission and for both of us to have an understanding of what power-play entails and how it functions.
I've explained my own reasoning, a little bit, but keep coming up against walls where there are things my therapist just ... doesn't know, or understand. She is totally happy to learn about BDSM, though, and has asked me to suggest some reading material for her.
What are some good introductory books that she and I might be able to read together, to educate ourselves about the land of kink?
We are particularly looking for works that focus on submission.
Ideally, I'd pick out one (non-fiction) introductory book, something super-accessible but not dumbed-down. We'd also both be happy to read scholarly articles, journalistic articles, or even blog entries that are particularly insightful.
Suggestions?
Different Loving and SM 101 are both wonderful primers.
posted by Specklet at 3:06 PM on August 18, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by Specklet at 3:06 PM on August 18, 2011 [1 favorite]
The Loving Dominant is a useful and informative book.
posted by essexjan at 3:10 PM on August 18, 2011
posted by essexjan at 3:10 PM on August 18, 2011
For the submissive side of things I liked Conquer Me, also Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns is another book that get recommended as a good beginners book.
You may also want to ask on the mefi fetlife group
posted by Z303 at 3:35 PM on August 18, 2011
You may also want to ask on the mefi fetlife group
posted by Z303 at 3:35 PM on August 18, 2011
Dossie Easton is also a kink aware therapist and has some information on her website.
posted by elsietheeel at 3:45 PM on August 18, 2011
posted by elsietheeel at 3:45 PM on August 18, 2011
Seconding The New Bottoming Book. I think it's a more engaging, accessible, and comprehensive intro than some of the others mentioned here, and has the strongest emphasis on the submissive side (obviously).
posted by ootandaboot at 4:07 PM on August 18, 2011
posted by ootandaboot at 4:07 PM on August 18, 2011
It would be nice to know if you were a top or a bottom or what.
But actually, either way, the Bottoming Book seems like a good recommendation, since (as they point out in the book itself, if I recall correctly) a lot of non-perverts feel like they can sort of understand the appeal of topping even if they're not all that into it, but find bottoming totally incomprehensible.
You might also look at "When Someone You Love is Kinky," which is all about explaining kink to people who aren't actually into it themselves. So, there's no practical advice on how to get the nipple clamps adjusted just right, or whatever — but I'm guessing that will be okay with your therapist, who after all doesn't need to get anyone's nipple clamps adjusted just right.
posted by nebulawindphone at 8:00 PM on August 18, 2011
But actually, either way, the Bottoming Book seems like a good recommendation, since (as they point out in the book itself, if I recall correctly) a lot of non-perverts feel like they can sort of understand the appeal of topping even if they're not all that into it, but find bottoming totally incomprehensible.
You might also look at "When Someone You Love is Kinky," which is all about explaining kink to people who aren't actually into it themselves. So, there's no practical advice on how to get the nipple clamps adjusted just right, or whatever — but I'm guessing that will be okay with your therapist, who after all doesn't need to get anyone's nipple clamps adjusted just right.
posted by nebulawindphone at 8:00 PM on August 18, 2011
The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom has a great Resource Guide. Some of it's media-focused since that's where a lot of their work is, but much of it is also suitable for medical and other professionals who want to learn more.
The American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists often provides resources for their members, though I don't see anything readily/publicly available on their website.
posted by rhiannonstone at 2:01 PM on August 19, 2011
The American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists often provides resources for their members, though I don't see anything readily/publicly available on their website.
posted by rhiannonstone at 2:01 PM on August 19, 2011
Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy are always good suggestions. +1 for "The Bottoming Book". Additionally, their "When Someone You Love Is Kinky", which is explicitly oriented to those attempting to non-judgmentally understand from the outside, may also be helpful to your therapist.
Charles Moser is another to check out. He co-authored Bound To Be Free", a psychological, sexological, and practical look at BDSM. He also co-authored "Sadomasochism: Powerful Pleasures" (Google Books preview), originally published as a 2006 issue of Journal of Homosexuality. (He prefers to use "sadomasochism" as an umbrella term for all forms of BDSM.)
posted by nakedcodemonkey at 3:24 PM on August 19, 2011
Charles Moser is another to check out. He co-authored Bound To Be Free", a psychological, sexological, and practical look at BDSM. He also co-authored "Sadomasochism: Powerful Pleasures" (Google Books preview), originally published as a 2006 issue of Journal of Homosexuality. (He prefers to use "sadomasochism" as an umbrella term for all forms of BDSM.)
posted by nakedcodemonkey at 3:24 PM on August 19, 2011
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Janet & Dossie have been play partners for years and they have a very engaging writing style.
posted by FlamingBore at 3:03 PM on August 18, 2011