Tactics for ADD to stay on topic and avoid changing the subject
June 29, 2011 5:31 PM Subscribe
Tactics for ADD to stay on topic and avoid changing the subject
I suffer greatly from ADD and focus issues. I was prescribed Concerta fora while, but the UK is generally stricter about ADD drugs, and I had a change of doctor who concluded that I didn't really need the drug.
To an extent he was right, it was a luxery, but I can hold down a job, and live a fairly normal life, it's more of a nuisance than anything but it casuses great anxiety and really strains social relationships.
But I'm having trouble finding alternatives to focus issues. Socially for instance, I'll change subject abruptly without even realising it, even jumping in mid sentence, not realising I do until it is pointed. And i often visably struggle to pay attention until the end of someone's sentence.
So any non medication related advice, gratefully received.
I suffer greatly from ADD and focus issues. I was prescribed Concerta fora while, but the UK is generally stricter about ADD drugs, and I had a change of doctor who concluded that I didn't really need the drug.
To an extent he was right, it was a luxery, but I can hold down a job, and live a fairly normal life, it's more of a nuisance than anything but it casuses great anxiety and really strains social relationships.
But I'm having trouble finding alternatives to focus issues. Socially for instance, I'll change subject abruptly without even realising it, even jumping in mid sentence, not realising I do until it is pointed. And i often visably struggle to pay attention until the end of someone's sentence.
So any non medication related advice, gratefully received.
I have ADD and I do this too. I was reading a discussion thread about rude behavior, and "changing the subject" was listed and they were referring to non-interrupting shifts, which I do all the time.
Here is some advice. Take it for what it is worth. Your question is really a meta-question.
1. Generic Wellbutrin reduces my impulsivity and is dirt cheap. I have to go off it periodically because it starts decreasing my capacity to feel enthusiasm. I haven't had any other side effects. Take it in the morning.
2. High quality DHA also helps with the impulsivity. I like Carlson's. Good DHA ratio and almost tasteless.
3. I really think that using the internet a lot rewires one's head to a certain degree. At times I feel like I have internet-induced Asperger's. So engaging in tasks that require mindfulness might help a little.
4. There's probably a cognitive-behavioral therapy approach to this.
5. Perhaps learn to seque more obliquely into your topic:
http://www.entertainmates.com/conversation/convers_tips_024.asp
6. Ask questions when you start getting bored. It helps a little.
7. This book has revealed aspects of how my ADHD affects my spouse that I was painfully unaware of. It may have some communication strategies as well. It hurts to read this book.
Is It You, Me, or Adult A.D.D.? Stopping the Roller Coaster When Someone You Love Has Attention Deficit Disorder (9780981548708): Gina Pera, Russell Barkley: Books http://amzn.to/lTVM2O
8. I try to hang out with people who are patient and kind.
9. Get the best possible sleep you can.
10. Forgive yourself.
Disclaimer: I suck at all of the above tips.
posted by mecran01 at 7:27 PM on June 29, 2011 [5 favorites]
Here is some advice. Take it for what it is worth. Your question is really a meta-question.
1. Generic Wellbutrin reduces my impulsivity and is dirt cheap. I have to go off it periodically because it starts decreasing my capacity to feel enthusiasm. I haven't had any other side effects. Take it in the morning.
2. High quality DHA also helps with the impulsivity. I like Carlson's. Good DHA ratio and almost tasteless.
3. I really think that using the internet a lot rewires one's head to a certain degree. At times I feel like I have internet-induced Asperger's. So engaging in tasks that require mindfulness might help a little.
4. There's probably a cognitive-behavioral therapy approach to this.
5. Perhaps learn to seque more obliquely into your topic:
http://www.entertainmates.com/conversation/convers_tips_024.asp
6. Ask questions when you start getting bored. It helps a little.
7. This book has revealed aspects of how my ADHD affects my spouse that I was painfully unaware of. It may have some communication strategies as well. It hurts to read this book.
Is It You, Me, or Adult A.D.D.? Stopping the Roller Coaster When Someone You Love Has Attention Deficit Disorder (9780981548708): Gina Pera, Russell Barkley: Books http://amzn.to/lTVM2O
8. I try to hang out with people who are patient and kind.
9. Get the best possible sleep you can.
10. Forgive yourself.
Disclaimer: I suck at all of the above tips.
posted by mecran01 at 7:27 PM on June 29, 2011 [5 favorites]
Response by poster: It was a luxery in the sense that my life was only mariginally better on the drug. Without the drug, it's more difficult, but I'm not in any danger, as a diabetic might clearly be if deprived of insulin, or dependent on the drug for my living.
posted by choppyes at 7:28 PM on June 29, 2011
posted by choppyes at 7:28 PM on June 29, 2011
I often want to change subject abruptly and I still do sometimes, but I tell myself that it is really rude to do that and it will make me an unpleasant person to talk to if I keep doing that. So with that in mind, I try to always wait for a break in the conversation before changing. It's probably still more abrupt than a good conversationalist, but at least I give it a little more time.
As for general ADD, this book Spark by Ratey says that exercise helps.
posted by bread-eater at 8:04 PM on June 29, 2011 [1 favorite]
As for general ADD, this book Spark by Ratey says that exercise helps.
posted by bread-eater at 8:04 PM on June 29, 2011 [1 favorite]
Coffee helps.
posted by theora55 at 8:43 PM on June 29, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by theora55 at 8:43 PM on June 29, 2011 [1 favorite]
If I'm in the right mood, I'll lean in conspiratorially and say, Hey, pretend I just made some kind of smooth segue, and proceed to the next subject (or continue with it, depending on the circumstances).
If you catch yourself, sometimes it's better to just point it out, and laugh if off as one of those things; those endearing quirks that make people interesting.
posted by evil holiday magic at 8:51 PM on June 29, 2011
If you catch yourself, sometimes it's better to just point it out, and laugh if off as one of those things; those endearing quirks that make people interesting.
posted by evil holiday magic at 8:51 PM on June 29, 2011
Caffeine or taurine/ginseng/etc for alertness, but also just... don't get too comfortable talking. Force yourself to listen by simply being silent a lot; if you have an idea, write it down, or force yourself to accumulate 5 ideas before you speak. Basically, if you have ADD you should be able to hyper-focus-- the solution to diffuse focus is to focus more intensely on perceiving rather than reacting. What kind of sentences aren't you paying attention to? Are they talking about things you're interested in? If you can, try to cultivate/practice talking with people you find absolutely fascinating to listen to. What does that feel like?
One thing that always helped me is to doodle or otherwise split my attention to a secondary passive source while I talked (especially on the phone). Weirdly, it does help me concentrate. Another option is to cultivate friends who enjoy or can follow you in your leaps-- this doesn't require ADD but simply an active imagination and an open mind. Practical people and go-getters are counter-indicated. Weirdo types recommended to cultivate acquaintance with.
Alternatively to doodling, focus extra energy non-verbally by making gestures, fidgeting, playing with string, knitting, etc. No matter what, you'll still interrupt people sometimes, but if you're friends it's probably ok; just apologize and make an effort to listen to them otherwise. Communicate more in texts, instant messages, email, and so on. If you're on the phone and your phone can do that, turn off the sound on your end or cover the mouthpiece while they talk, or chew something to occupy your mouth-- like gum-- to remind you to take an extra step before you can speak properly.
People who view 'changing the subject' alone as rude are probably people you don't need to worry about unless they're your boss ('cause they suck). Um. If it's your boss, absolutely force yourself to say the least amount possible, and pinch yourself to pay attention if necessary.
posted by reenka at 10:34 PM on June 29, 2011 [1 favorite]
One thing that always helped me is to doodle or otherwise split my attention to a secondary passive source while I talked (especially on the phone). Weirdly, it does help me concentrate. Another option is to cultivate friends who enjoy or can follow you in your leaps-- this doesn't require ADD but simply an active imagination and an open mind. Practical people and go-getters are counter-indicated. Weirdo types recommended to cultivate acquaintance with.
Alternatively to doodling, focus extra energy non-verbally by making gestures, fidgeting, playing with string, knitting, etc. No matter what, you'll still interrupt people sometimes, but if you're friends it's probably ok; just apologize and make an effort to listen to them otherwise. Communicate more in texts, instant messages, email, and so on. If you're on the phone and your phone can do that, turn off the sound on your end or cover the mouthpiece while they talk, or chew something to occupy your mouth-- like gum-- to remind you to take an extra step before you can speak properly.
People who view 'changing the subject' alone as rude are probably people you don't need to worry about unless they're your boss ('cause they suck). Um. If it's your boss, absolutely force yourself to say the least amount possible, and pinch yourself to pay attention if necessary.
posted by reenka at 10:34 PM on June 29, 2011 [1 favorite]
I have this problem. I find if I write my ideas down I can control my inclination to blurt the ideas out. Good luck. Oh, and coffee helps a lot.
posted by fifilaru at 11:16 PM on June 29, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by fifilaru at 11:16 PM on June 29, 2011 [1 favorite]
FYI if it's worth it to you, you can short-circuit the Rx barrier by going private. Find a Harley Street-style shrink and get a prescription privately. You will also have to fill it privately but you'll also only have to return to that provider once a year. The prescription barrier is much, much lower with specialists and outside the NHS. If it's worth it to you, tell the NHS to go screw and book an appointment.
posted by DarlingBri at 2:59 AM on June 30, 2011
posted by DarlingBri at 2:59 AM on June 30, 2011
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by k8t at 6:41 PM on June 29, 2011 [1 favorite]