How do I find a new job without losing the old one?
June 28, 2011 8:03 PM Subscribe
I need to change my life/career. Help me, MetaFilter. You're my only hope...
I have a job that I hate (Sales) that pays well. I can't afford to lose it by looking for another job. I guess my question is: How do I actively seek another position without my current employer finding out? I want to work in the non-profit sector, preferably in the environmental/conservation sector, but really anything that will give me the feeling that I'm changing the world. I miss that feeling.
What do I do? I fear that I haven't worked in my current position long enough for them to keep me if they find out I'm sniffing around for another job, but I don't feel like I could get another job without some kind of reference from my current employer. Help me, MetaFilter! I'm trapped. The real reason I want a change is because, in spite of the perceived "benefits" of my current job, I am battling crippling depression that I've never had before, and it's because of this job that I abhor. I can't leave it, though, because did I mention I'm a single father raising a 9 year old girl on my own?
I'm in a real pickle, and would appreciate any advice...
I have a job that I hate (Sales) that pays well. I can't afford to lose it by looking for another job. I guess my question is: How do I actively seek another position without my current employer finding out? I want to work in the non-profit sector, preferably in the environmental/conservation sector, but really anything that will give me the feeling that I'm changing the world. I miss that feeling.
What do I do? I fear that I haven't worked in my current position long enough for them to keep me if they find out I'm sniffing around for another job, but I don't feel like I could get another job without some kind of reference from my current employer. Help me, MetaFilter! I'm trapped. The real reason I want a change is because, in spite of the perceived "benefits" of my current job, I am battling crippling depression that I've never had before, and it's because of this job that I abhor. I can't leave it, though, because did I mention I'm a single father raising a 9 year old girl on my own?
I'm in a real pickle, and would appreciate any advice...
Seconding TrixieRamble's point.
You are at A. You want to be at B. However, you cannot jump to B so try and get as much of B's place right now through various events even though it would be slower than you would like.
Are you having reinforcing thoughts about your depression because you are not changing the world as yet? Are you thinking OMG, I am not changing the world leading to feeling of depresion?
While you might not be changing the world as you put it, You are changing your daughter's world right now by providing her with a stable income in the house and a place to stay and not many financial worries.
Also note: While struggling with depression it feels like forever even though it is not.
posted by iNfo.Pump at 8:18 PM on June 28, 2011
You are at A. You want to be at B. However, you cannot jump to B so try and get as much of B's place right now through various events even though it would be slower than you would like.
Are you having reinforcing thoughts about your depression because you are not changing the world as yet? Are you thinking OMG, I am not changing the world leading to feeling of depresion?
While you might not be changing the world as you put it, You are changing your daughter's world right now by providing her with a stable income in the house and a place to stay and not many financial worries.
Also note: While struggling with depression it feels like forever even though it is not.
posted by iNfo.Pump at 8:18 PM on June 28, 2011
I'd actually address the depression first, though I'd certainly look at some of the volunteering and outreach opportunities mentioned here.
Because what if it's not just the job, then you go through all this work and make the jump and probably wind up making less and you're still miserable? I'm reading a lot into your post, but I imagine there's a lot of mental strain from being a single father (be surprised if there wasn't, frankly) and however that came about and the rest of your post says to me you're getting a little older and you're starting to feel a little bit trapped and you've got this kid to worry about and maybe you're just wrapping it all up and blaming it on the job. And it's possible you do truly just need a career change, but it just seems like there's something more going on and you need to unpack that, calm down, and settle on a plan of action.
Because the one thing you do have is the luxury of money and the leisure to look right now and that's something to take advantage of and make a solid plan. If the job truly is making you miserable completely on its own, having a path to the light at the end of the tunnel would help I'd imagine.
posted by Ghostride The Whip at 10:41 PM on June 28, 2011
Because what if it's not just the job, then you go through all this work and make the jump and probably wind up making less and you're still miserable? I'm reading a lot into your post, but I imagine there's a lot of mental strain from being a single father (be surprised if there wasn't, frankly) and however that came about and the rest of your post says to me you're getting a little older and you're starting to feel a little bit trapped and you've got this kid to worry about and maybe you're just wrapping it all up and blaming it on the job. And it's possible you do truly just need a career change, but it just seems like there's something more going on and you need to unpack that, calm down, and settle on a plan of action.
Because the one thing you do have is the luxury of money and the leisure to look right now and that's something to take advantage of and make a solid plan. If the job truly is making you miserable completely on its own, having a path to the light at the end of the tunnel would help I'd imagine.
posted by Ghostride The Whip at 10:41 PM on June 28, 2011
The Myth of Career Bliss reinforces what Ghostride The Whip just said.
posted by Sweetie Darling at 3:32 AM on June 29, 2011
posted by Sweetie Darling at 3:32 AM on June 29, 2011
Best answer: Non-profits always need development people, especially in the current economy. It seems to me that sales experience could translate to development pretty readily. And most hiring managers are pretty accommodating when it comes to not contacting your current job - especially in the non-profit sector.
So to build on the above, I'd volunteer to help with a fund-raising event or other development work with a non-profit in a field that interests you. As a single parent you probably can't be out and about fundraising, but you could help with web and phone contacts, and would be building a network of people in your future field.
posted by ldthomps at 11:14 AM on June 29, 2011
So to build on the above, I'd volunteer to help with a fund-raising event or other development work with a non-profit in a field that interests you. As a single parent you probably can't be out and about fundraising, but you could help with web and phone contacts, and would be building a network of people in your future field.
posted by ldthomps at 11:14 AM on June 29, 2011
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by TrixieRamble at 8:13 PM on June 28, 2011 [1 favorite]