You go now!! You eat like killer whale!

April 9, 2011 6:26 PM

What is a "normal" amount of food to order at a sushi restaurant?

My husband and I like to go out for sushi a couple of times a month. We usually go out on a Friday or Saturday evening after work. We are usually pretty hungry and this is a splurge meal for us, so I know we are not exactly eating lightly, but I'm beginning to wonder if the amount we eat is particularly noteworthy.

Last night we ordered two appetizers. He had some sort of dumpling with sauce (six small pieces) and I had deep-fried soft shell crab (four pieces of what looked to be mostly leg.) Hubby ate one piece of the crab.

We ordered five rolls between us which came out to be about 15 pieces maybe 2" diameter, and another five pieces that were much smaller. I ate one of the small pieces, seven of the larger pieces and hubby ate the rest.

There is a lady who works there who has made comments about the amount we order on two separate occasions. She helps wait on us, but I think she may be the manager or perhaps a hostess. Last time we ordered two appetizers she said TWO? like she was very surprised and taken aback. I let that one roll off, but when she brought out our food she said "that is a lot of sushi!" My husband got kind of pissed at this point but we didn't say anything.

Last night she again made comments about how much we ordered, and then at the end of the meal she squatted down next to me, put her hand on my shoulder and chuckled as she asked me if I had enough. She doesn't seem like she's being snide, it's more like amused amazement. Still rude as fuck, though.

She's made me uncomfortable enough at this point that we probably won't be going back there. Still, my husband and I are both wondering if we do, in fact, eat like killer whales.

Is five rolls and two modest appetizers an unusually large amount of food for two hungry people?

posted by Serene Empress Dork to Food & Drink (43 answers total)

Five rolls is not much, really.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 6:28 PM on April 9, 2011 [7 favorites]

I'm always embarrassed by how much I order and eat at a sushi restaurant, too. I wouldn't worry about it. I'd probably find another restaurant, though ... It's out of line for the waitress to comment and make you feel uncomfortable.
posted by jayder at 6:31 PM on April 9, 2011 [8 favorites]

When I go with someone, eight or nine rolls between two people is not uncommon.
posted by jayder at 6:32 PM on April 9, 2011 [1 favorite]

well, that lady sounds rude and you have every right to be annoyed. Is there a culture thing going on? It sounds like the kind of thing my (Korean) mom used to say to my friends in high school; it was always mortifying.

But I think dumplings, soft shell crab, and five rolls IS kind of a lot for a two-top; that's a lot of rice. Especially if it's a more traditional sort of place people might more typically order some nigiri sushi, some sashimi, and maybe a roll or two.
posted by peachfuzz at 6:35 PM on April 9, 2011

Last time I went out for sushi, I ate twelve pieces of sushi, a spicy tuna roll and miso soup along with tea. I was stuffed and thought I'd eaten enough when these two women next me to ordered that for each and them some. One time I watched a baseball player (name unkown) eat twenty-six pieces of toro nigiri. That's a lot to me.

Also, consider a change of venue if you're uncomfortable along with the required Yelp complaint. Word travels.
posted by jsavimbi at 6:38 PM on April 9, 2011

Hmm, doesn't seem excessive to me. This is what me and the missus would order:

Arrive: Green tea, edamame

Appetizers: dumplings/gyoza, agedashi tofu, 2 x miso soup

Main: sashimi platter du jour (enough for two people). Side of rice.

Desert: optional

We would actually eat a lot less in terms of rice. Maybe she was implying that you were eating a lot of rice things off of one part of the menu?
posted by carter at 6:42 PM on April 9, 2011

I have seen or eaten "Sushi for Two" at many sushi restaurants, including super-fancy ones; they are always super enormous and at least 30% more food than I would ever think to order working from scratch. So, I'm guessing that it is popular or common to eat quite a lot more than 5 rolls between 2 people.

To put in my .02, when going with one other person only for dinner, we will normally get 1-2 apps, 1-3 rolls, and 5 or so pieces of sashimi.
posted by shownomercy at 6:42 PM on April 9, 2011

You are not eating too much. She sounds like a tool. I mean, come on. Feigning surprise at each of you ordering your own appetizer? I'd say something to the owners and ask to have someone else wait on you if you decide to go again.
posted by iconomy at 6:45 PM on April 9, 2011

I don't think that's a huge amount. But then again, I too have been kind of embarrassed by seeing the actual amount of sushi we ordered arrive at the table because it seems like so much. However, I stop caring the second I start eating. I don't give a crap if it's a lot of rice.

No one has ever commented - it's ridiculous for staff to say anything because you are paying for these items (for one) and presumably are tipping based on the total amount of the meal (for two). The couple of times a server has commented on how much I've ordered ("you have room for dessert??? are you sure??") I have never gone back to that restaurant, and once I complained. It's simply inappropriate, not to mention embarrassing (even if they're wrong).
posted by DrGirlfriend at 6:46 PM on April 9, 2011

Also because 'sushi' in fact generally refers to the rice and the way it is prepared.

There might be some cultural misunderstanding going on here, both ways. I don't think she is being rude. But she should know better. You don't have to go back, if it makes you feel uncomfortable.
posted by carter at 6:46 PM on April 9, 2011

She's a jerk. You're spending money in the place--what the hell business of hers is it if you order it, lick it and leave it on the plate? She's not the owner, that's for sure.
posted by Ideefixe at 6:48 PM on April 9, 2011

I used to go out with a friend of mine (an average-sized woman) and we always needed a bigger table because she ordered so much *for herself*. So no, I don't think it's unusual. I think the lady who works there was rude, and I'd also suggest posting a Yelp comment.
posted by FlyByDay at 6:48 PM on April 9, 2011

Though I do like sushi I am not a large man, and the amount you describe is a lunch for two where I come from. Five maki rolls is indeed a quantity of rice, but no biggie, it's not really more than nigiri all told. My impression is that the lady was being sarcastic, possibly by way of imitating Americans. Surely she isn't trying to refuse your money.

Soft-shell crab is typically quartered with a leg in each section and a quarter of the body, which may make it look like just legs. They are pretty small if you're used to Dungeness type crabs.

On preview, I may like sushi more than most. I have no problem with 3x sashimi, 2 orders of the small rolls(hosomaki), and 8-10 nigiri. This is for two. Sushi is for gorging.
posted by rhizome at 6:48 PM on April 9, 2011 [1 favorite]

Without seeing how big the rolls are, that sounds like a lot to me (particularly with the appetizers), but I can't imagine other people don't order just as much if not more. That was rude of the waitress and would make me uncomfortable. I would stop going there too.
posted by wondermouse at 6:51 PM on April 9, 2011 [1 favorite]

Sounds like slightly more than average, but not enough to warrant commentary from the waitress.
posted by empath at 6:51 PM on April 9, 2011

I would not boycott a place over this, or give the waitress a hard time. Sure, in an "ideal" world of homogenized perfected service personnel, nobody would ever make anyone feel even a little uncomfortable ever. But come on! It sounds like she's being friendly.

Just laugh a little bit and say "Yeah, we really love your sushi!"
posted by General Tonic at 6:56 PM on April 9, 2011 [4 favorites]

"You know your tip is proportional to how much we eat, right? That is, until you make an ass of yourself."
posted by secretseasons at 6:59 PM on April 9, 2011 [6 favorites]

I love sushi. Sometimes it's just a few roles and sometimes it's a whole lot, to the point where I have to take some home for a late night snack

I don't give a shit who knows this and would ask the rude woman what her problem was with me spending money there.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:00 PM on April 9, 2011 [2 favorites]

The amount of sushi I eat is limited only by my money. At conveyor belt sushi/sushi train places I usually order around 4 - 6 plates. Comes to usually 8 rolls, 2 shrimp, 2 salmon, 2 eel, and maybe a takioki or okinoyomaki.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 7:08 PM on April 9, 2011

At conveyor belt sushi places I probably get about 5-6 plates of various rolls and crunchy things. That's by myself, when I'm sharing with someone else we probably ate about what you did.

Really, the lady is just being tacky to keep commenting on your food. Go somewhere else. She should be happy that you like their cooking and keep giving them money, sheesh.
posted by jenfullmoon at 7:20 PM on April 9, 2011 [1 favorite]

I'm not generally a big eater, but there are a few things (sushi, pizza, cake) that I can put away an impressive amount of without even noticing. My friends and I go to this all-you-can-eat sushi place all the time. The concept of someone eating "a lot of" sushi doesn't really exist for me, and eating "too much" is laughable. Reading over the list of what you ordered, I thought, "yeah, that sounds about right," and then I noticed that you split it with your husband, and...no. No, you are not eating too much.

For an idea of scale, the last time we went out, I think my boyfriend (who "wasn't particularly hungry" that night, or it would have been more) and I ordered somewhere in the vicinity of:

2 seaweed salads
a miso soup
12-20 pieces of nigiri
4 (large, "fancy") rolls

We were considering re-upping with another roll, but I was stuffed and he wasn't sure he could finish it all, so we didn't. It was a pretty light night for us, relatively speaking.

So you go ahead and eat all the sushi you want. Maybe go to another place. If the restaurant staff is going to be rude to you, the restaurant doesn't deserve your business. None of the waitresses I've ever had even bat an eye.
posted by phunniemee at 7:27 PM on April 9, 2011 [1 favorite]

I'm apparently in the minority in thinking that four of the big rolls and one of the smaller rolls is a shitload of food without the appetizers. I'm not, compared to everyone I ever eat with, a light eater and an appetizer and one of the big rolls is usually plenty if not too much.

As for the rude manager, this sounds like the kind of remark that many native Asians I've known would make to be friendly but sounds to us like the, "oh honey..." condescension that happens here. Someone working in a restaurant is perfectly aware that big bill=big tip (unless it doesn't for you in which case any intentional rudeness is excused). It's pretty unlikely that she's trying to be mean.
posted by cmoj at 7:36 PM on April 9, 2011 [4 favorites]

I don't know whether you are eating an unusual amount. But I want to note that the waitress's comment may not have been meant rudely.

In some cultures (and I honestly don't know whether Japan is one of these, or if your waitress was Japanese) it is considered a good thing to have a large appetite, and congratulating someone on it would be acceptable.

Obviously in American culture, and most other English-speaking countries, there's the idea that women shouldn't eat, so any comment on how much a woman is eating can only be understood as a warning against getting fat, or some other sort of snide remark. But this really might not have been what was intended.

Of course if she is working in a sushi restaurant primarily patronised by Americans, she should know better, but it might at least help you to feel less insulted.
posted by lollusc at 7:38 PM on April 9, 2011 [6 favorites]

I average 5-6 rolls for myself but I've gone as high as 8 rolls. Again, for myself and not shared.

The manager (possibly owner) has commented on this before but I took it as friendly banter and not an insult. She also makes a comment when I order anything less than 5 rolls now. I don't see this as being rude as we are pretty friendly. Honestly, I don't think she was intentionally being rude and I think it is a bit strange to get so upset over this.
posted by Loto at 7:47 PM on April 9, 2011

My wife and I get the small salad and miso each, and order 5 rolls between us. Sometimes we will also get some pork shumai to start. A couple of the rolls are deluxe rolls. I don't think your order is abnormal at all.
posted by Roger Dodger at 7:51 PM on April 9, 2011

When I order solo, I will usually get two rolls and soup, or maybe a roll and a flight of sushi with soup. So you ate somewhere in the same ballpark of how I usually eat at a sushi place.

Regardless of how much is a "normal" amount, the hostess shouldn't have made those comments. That said, is she maybe from a different culture? Maybe she's a recent immigrant who just started working there and doesn't know that Americans consider commentary on quantity of food eaten an inappropriate thing to remark on?
posted by Sara C. at 7:55 PM on April 9, 2011 [1 favorite]

...how big the rolls are...

This is a good point. My typical order mentioned above is what I'd get in New York, where seafood prices are high, rolls are usually on the small side, and there's an understanding of the concept of "small plates".

When I go out for sushi back home in Louisiana (where seafood is cheap), I rarely get more than one roll because they tend to be gigantic to cater to the local clientele who get antsy at the sight of a plate with six bites of food on it. Likewise, the apps look positively towering to me and the soup comes in a trough. I'd be pretty impressed to watch a couple put away five rolls and two apps at my hometown sushi restaurant - that would probably be the equivalent of two or three full meals at an American style restaurant.
posted by Sara C. at 8:02 PM on April 9, 2011 [1 favorite]

for some perspective here i am an asian woman who has lived in japan and that seems like a LOT of food for two people. i sincerely doubt your waitress was trying to be rude. she was probably just surprised and genuinely curious about how much americans can eat.
posted by raw sugar at 8:05 PM on April 9, 2011

I don't know the background of the waitress though I infer she is Asian based on the stereotyped English of the post title.

Generally speaking in Asia people comment much more freely on physical appearance and the amount that somebody is eating. They aren't taboo topics like they are in the US. The comments you describe sound like an attempt to be friendly and definitely not like rudeness or something to take offense at. That's not to say people shouldn't adapt to American cultural norms if they move to the States, but it may give some perspective.
posted by pravit at 8:15 PM on April 9, 2011 [3 favorites]

Response by poster: I know it is hard to judge the amount we ate without knowing the size of the rolls. I feel like it can't be too ridiculously much... I left feeling quite full, but not uncomfortably stuffed.

The lady is a middle-aged asian woman with a heavy accent, so it is possibly a cultural thing. I don't get the feeling that she means to be nasty, but it still feels rude from my end.

I think it is a bit strange to get so upset over this.

I'm not "so upset"... the first time I laughed it off. But as an overweight person it has made me feel somewhat self-conscious and uncomfortable about what I order, and I'm not looking forward to having it be a regular part of my dining experience there.

I'm not going to complain or write a bad review. But I still may not go back. There are eleventy-dozen sushi places in a ten-mile radius of here and eleventy-eleven of them have not made me feel weird about what I order. On the other hand, I do especially like this place because it is right around the corner, the food is good and they have red bean ice cream. That tips the scales quite a bit in their favor.

I am glad to see that most people who answered don't think we are eating a very unusual amount. I really didn't think so but I only ever go out with my husband and don't pay close attention to what other tables are having.
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 8:31 PM on April 9, 2011 [1 favorite]

Response by poster: I infer she is Asian based on the stereotyped English of the post title

Yikes... I hope my title didn't offend. It's actually a line from a routine by the very hefty comedian John Pinette about being cut off at an all-you-can-eat sushi buffet.
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 8:39 PM on April 9, 2011

Seconding that this sort of bemused frankness is not intended to be rude. She seems like she's going out of her way to demonstrate by her body language that she's taking an interest in you as her guests, right? In similar situations, I usually roll my eyes, grin, and compliment the chef. We both laugh, and that's that.
posted by desuetude at 9:49 PM on April 9, 2011

I think she was being playful. I work with a lot of Japanese women and this is one way they tease. But of course, if she hurt your feelings, you should not go back. Was it a lot of food? No not really. It was dinner and I have seen people eat a couple of rolls for lunch, with soup, and a salad. That said, I can only eat 1/2 a largish roll. People are different.

But, since they have red bean ice cream, I would love the place!!
posted by wandering_not_lost at 12:50 AM on April 10, 2011

When I get sushi I usually eat about 7 maki rolls (40 pieces?), 1 gunkanmaki and 2or3 nigiri myself.

I think that's a lot of sushi. I think you're eating a nice, very normal, amount of sushi.

When people have commented on how much I order by saying stuff like, you're so blah and you eat so much. I usually respond with "yes, haha" the first time, the second time, "yes." and any subsequent comments I say, "don't comment on my order anymore."
posted by zephyr_words at 1:29 AM on April 10, 2011

I'm going to point out that whether you are in fact ordering "too much" or more than is typical for two people is actually completely irrelevant. It's a restaurant, which means you can never order too much because you're paying for it. This isn't even an all you can eat situation where eating to excess could be construed as taking advantage of the buffet. You're paying for your items a la carte, therefore the waitress/hostess/owners should never be making you feel that you are eating/ordering too much. I think you're quite right not to go there again.

That said, I don't think that's "too much" for two hungry people. Really, how can anyone judge that? Nobody else knows about your metabolism, the last time you ate, your dietary habits etc., so for anyone, either waitress or fellow diners, to be judging what you eat is just fucking rude and ignorant, whether you're overweight or not.
posted by katyggls at 2:40 AM on April 10, 2011 [2 favorites]

Another vote here for that being well within in the range of a normal amount of food.

What got to me though was the waitress's action: previous comments from the woman notwithstanding, *this* time she came over and squatted down right next to *plus* put her hands on the OP! I'm sorry, but I absolutely get squicked out by strangers pulling that kind of (pardon the cliche) invasion of personal space. I most definately would NOT go back there.
posted by easily confused at 3:23 AM on April 10, 2011

Is there nutrition information available for that restaurant? Adding up the calories for everything you ate should give you a good idea of how much it was. Dinner would tend to be between 500 to 1000 calories or so, depending on how much you eat through the rest of the day and how many calories your diet is based on.

Since there was a lot of rice, you might also want to look at the ratio of carbs to protein to fat. "Good" would be 40-50% carbs, 25-35% protein, 20-30% fat.

And since it was a restaurant, you may want to check how bad the sodium was (I assure you that it was awful, but.. meh). Don't forget to add for sauce, mmmmm.
posted by anaelith at 4:37 AM on April 10, 2011

I often wonder this myself; for some reason sushi is especially difficult for me to gauge. Eight maki pieces and an appetizer seems on the small end of normal to me. The individual to-go sushi trays at the grocery store often have twelve pieces; one of those is enough for me but I can eat two.

As a further data point on your host's rudeness: many years ago my mother and I went on a trip halfway across the US, and were famished by the time we got off the plane. We stopped for lunch at the Olive Garden, ordered appetizers, entrees, and dessert, and inhaled everything. The cheerful but tactless waitress would not stop commenting about how much we ordered and how quickly we ate it all. I don't remember if we tipped her, but if we did it was a tiny amount, and to this day we still laugh about that idiot waitress - we weren't too upset, but who the hell does that, you know?

I think the diplomatic thing would be to talk to her and her manager during a non-busy time and mention that commenting on what/how your guests eat is considered incredibly rude, touching your guests even more so, and although you know she meant no harm it made you uncomfortable, and you and your husband are considering permanently moving your regular sushi dates to a competitor because of it. She probably doesn't know that it's rude and bad for business.
posted by Metroid Baby at 7:12 AM on April 10, 2011

Hi, sushi chef here.

First of all, that's not a huge amount of food. Especially shared by two people, after work, when you most likely haven't eaten in five to six hours.
This has more to do with your hostess/waitress's lack of tact, and the way that we tend to think of food in America than the size of your appetite.
Part of my job is interacting with customers and one of the number one rules I have is to never comment on the amount (whether I think it's too small or too large) of the food they order. This goes double if the customer is a woman or women. As far as correcting the problem, I would advise either asking for another server when you're sat, or refrain from going to the place for a while. It sounds like you're regulars. If they give a damn at all, they'll notice your absence. When you return, you could use the question of where you've been as an opportunity to address the issue.
In relation to the perceived size of your order . . . portions in America tend to be huge, relative to other countries (especially Japan). And if you ordered two appetizers, and a further five plates in an American style restaurant, that would be crazy. But sushi should really be viewed the way we view hors d'ouvres or tapas.
Tl;dr:
You're totally normal in your consumption. Your hostess lacks tact and grace, while probably being friendly and well meaning, but still. Try a limited boycott. Address the issue on your return, if it happens again.
posted by kaiseki at 9:55 AM on April 10, 2011 [5 favorites]

Yeah, regardless of whether it's a cultural norm or not, if you felt uncomfortable I wouldn't go back. Especially if she's done it twice, she'll probably do it again.
posted by Wuggie Norple at 11:01 AM on April 10, 2011 [1 favorite]

That doesn't seem like an unusual amount of food. Her behavior is rude, and I wouldn't go back. I would expect it the next time I go, and frankly it would make me feel preemptively defensive and uncomfortable... not the kind of situation I like to pay for, you know?
posted by studioaudience at 1:55 PM on April 10, 2011

I don't eat sushi often, so when I eat it, I like to eat enough to go into a sushi coma. Which is probably the equivalent of how much you ordered, maybe more. Which is kind of a lot. But not excessive, and not uncommon, I know a lot of people who do the same.

And it's definitely an Asian thing to comment on how much people are eating, and chuckle and laugh as they say it (sorry if I am not supposed to actually say that, but really, I've noticed it so many times, and no other culture has ever pointed and laughed and been amused at how much I am eating, ever). It just doesn't seem to be rude in their culture, so maybe don't get mad at her, but firmly say "you're invading our privacy, so please don't comment on how much we eat." I bet it won't happen again.
posted by never.was.and.never.will.be. at 5:06 PM on April 10, 2011

I have an Asian friend. When I first met her we were both still teenagers. I thought she was beautiful and at the perfect weight. But her mom would constantly harangue her about being overweight. My friend explained it to me that Asian women are supposed to be super-petite, so from her mom's point of view, she was overweight. So i don't know if it would make you feel better to know she might say things like that to her own children... but I'm in agreement that she needs to know that it sounded rude, even if it wasn't intended that way.

Recently at a restaurant I frequenly take my mom to, we both weren't terribly hungry and just ordered a small amount (I think she may have had an appetizer and I had a fruit plate.) The waitress came back and said "Would you like some dessert? Oh wait, you're trying to eat healthy today!" I wasn't offended and didn't take it as an insult, though we both are overweight. I just smiled and said "actually we're just not very hungry today." (We don't usually have dessert at this restaurant anyways since it's the type that stuffs you with soup, salad, and rolls, and then entrees big enough for 2 meals.)
posted by IndigoRain at 1:09 AM on April 12, 2011