Some girls just want to flash
April 1, 2011 10:03 AM   Subscribe

Exhibitionist girlfriend has discovered omegle. But would like to not be hauled off to jail for flashing a minor.

Sexy fun time has been happening in this anonymous household since my girlfriend discovered the wonders of chat roulette and omegle. She's already been kicked of chat roulette cause I guess they track IP's and ban them for too much skin. Omegle allows for no age verification. Some "strangers" clearly not of age, some are hard to tell. What should be our standard protocol for behavior (STOP is a legitimate answer if she's putting herself at some risk, but if she isn't then she would very much like to continue with the showing off). How is omegle even legal anyway? The internet seems vague on this question.
posted by anonymous to Sports, Hobbies, & Recreation (23 answers total) 5 users marked this as a favorite

What is your location, and how old is this person?
posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints at 10:16 AM on April 1, 2011

This is probably as good a situation as any for Haddock's Law.
posted by jquinby at 10:20 AM on April 1, 2011 [8 favorites]

She should probably do her flashing in a more legit and stable environments that keep minors out, such as an amatuer night at a strip club. I'm not being snarky and trying to put down your girlfriend by saying she should perform at a strip club, I'm just trying to tell you that those establishments do a much better job of avoiding the exposure being captured for all time, for everyone to see forever, and they have a built in age check so you wont need to worry about her getting charged with lascivious behavior for flashing minors.
posted by WeekendJen at 10:21 AM on April 1, 2011 [1 favorite]

Another benefit of strip clubs is that everything that gets transmitted over the internet is probably there forever, especially if it involves naked people. While strip clubs ban all cameras. The potential to keep your anonymous life anonymous is much better in a strip club.
posted by yeolcoatl at 10:24 AM on April 1, 2011

anonymous: "STOP is a legitimate answer if she's putting herself at some risk"

STOP is also a legitimate answer if it's inappropriate to expose yourself to another person without their consent.
posted by grammar corrections at 10:28 AM on April 1, 2011 [14 favorites]

Involving other people non-consensually in your sexual enjoyment is highly, highly unethical, forget the legality of it.
posted by brainmouse at 10:39 AM on April 1, 2011 [9 favorites]

Surely there must be some place on the internet, with a log in or an adult content warning, where adults share naked pictures with each other.
posted by hydrophonic at 10:40 AM on April 1, 2011 [6 favorites]

I'm reasonably confident there are any number of websites on the internet where people will PAY your girlfriend to chat and flash them.
posted by Lame_username at 10:50 AM on April 1, 2011 [2 favorites]

This sounds perfect for Reddit's 'gonewild' subreddit.
posted by mand0 at 10:50 AM on April 1, 2011 [4 favorites]

Does she just get a kick out of having strangers watch her? Post a URL for a live stream on /b/ and go wild.

Does she get a kick of unsuspecting strangers watch her? Involving people in your sex life without their consent is pretty much the definition of sexual assault.
posted by auto-correct at 11:05 AM on April 1, 2011 [6 favorites]

I agree with grammar corrections...spend a bit of time to verify the person you are chat rouletting with is of age and wouldn't mind the skin?...I mean, I know WE all know if you get on omeagle or chat roulette, you're gonna see flashers, but there DO still exist people on the internet who DON'T know that yet.

Also...check out places like fetlife and find a community of folks who provide events where exhibition is welcomed.

Wow this comment sounds more judgy than intended, sorry!
posted by nile_red at 11:06 AM on April 1, 2011

I'm reasonably confident there are any number of websites on the internet where people will PAY your girlfriend to chat and flash them.

I think you guys are missing the point. Remember that thread awhile back, about the guy who flashed the woman on the subway and she totally took him to town? In that thread there was a link to a forum devoted to guys who like flashing girls. This was controversial not because there was a strange fetish with a forum attached, but because the owner was Penthouse.

Well I'll admit I spent an inordinate amount of time in their FAQ thread. I didn't really get dick flashing. Why didn't they just post their dicks on the internet if they wanted people to see their dicks? They know what they do is skeevy and non-consensual right? So many questions!
If you're interested in sociology or human sexuality, it was a wonderful treasure trove. Yes, they understood what they did was wrong. Some justified it through contorted logic that only repressed sexuality can bring about. Others came to the conclusion that it was wrong, and they couldn't do it even though they just loved flashing their dicks.

Here was the kicker: It wasn't the thrill of getting caught. It wasn't some idea that it'd turn into some porn scene, where the woman would suddenly be interested in a guy. It was entirely in the woman's reaction. The, "Oh my God! He's showing me his penis!" reaction is what does it.

So this appears, at least in my amateur armchair psychologist opinion, to be a subset of exhibitionism. She gets off on guys going, "Oh my God! She's showing me her tits!" which on a website where everyone knows that's probably going to happen, is on a whole, a lot better than sulking around subway cars, rubbing against women, but still probably non-consensual (I'm assuming there's a "surprise" factor given your description).

And, of course, I feel really dirty knowing this much about something like this.
posted by geoff. at 11:09 AM on April 1, 2011 [1 favorite]

So this appears, at least in my amateur armchair psychologist opinion, to be a subset of exhibitionism. She gets off on guys going, "Oh my God! She's showing me her tits!"

This is, as auto-correct puts it, sexual assault. It's not OK. Some sexual fetishes -- the ones which involve doing harm to other people non-consensually, like this one is -- are past an acceptable fetish limit. I have no problem with consenting adults doing whatever kinky thing they like to do with other consenting adults; I am a very sex-positive person. But when it crosses that line, it is no longer an acceptable thing to do.
posted by brainmouse at 11:15 AM on April 1, 2011

[folks, comments that just say "your girlfriend sucks" are not helpful, be constructive or move on, thank you.]
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 11:22 AM on April 1, 2011

From the OP:
OK - so I understand that where commenters are coming from is that springing nudty on unsuspecting people is highly unethical. So we will rectify that, even though it appears to me that these services have almost completely been appropriated by masturbating guys. If we can satisfy the ethical issue by her remaining clothed until someone explicitly gives consent to watching her strip, then how can we satisfy the age issue?
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 11:23 AM on April 1, 2011 [1 favorite]

You can't. You're taking a legal risk, period. "But he/she told me they were 18!" is not a legal defense.
posted by desjardins at 11:31 AM on April 1, 2011

Why not set up a website with a subscription service? Members will pay a monthly fee to see your girlfriend strip at set times each day/week/weekend/whatevs - her exhibitionist needs will be satisfied, the men will presumably be satisfied, and you guys will have some extra funtimes cash to play with. The age problem won't be an issue if you set it up with various confirmation thingys and disclaimers, like every other over-18 adult site is set up.
posted by elizardbits at 11:31 AM on April 1, 2011 [1 favorite]

I'm not sure I understand the whole "if someone doesn't consent to seeing her tits, it's a sexual assualt". If that's the case, then everyone on Bourbon Street would be 'victims' of said assault.

I don't have any specific answers to the question, but I have to imagine that somewhere in the TOS of Omegle and others, there would be a disclaimer similar to what video games have for their ratings system, such as "Online content is not rated".
posted by eas98 at 11:32 AM on April 1, 2011

I don't really agree with the "sexual assault" claim some people are making. It's not unexpected -- rather, it's almost expected to see things like that on chat roulette, as I understand it.
posted by J. Wilson at 11:39 AM on April 1, 2011

From the OP:
Setting up a commercial website is not what we're looking for, and we don't have the technical acumen to do anything on our own anyway. We're just amateurs trying to have fun. There aren't currently any adult themed chat roulettes that actually work. And the existing ones provide the audience that is required for an exhibitionist to operate. We're already members of fet life. And she's not going to go to a strip club because she doesn't want her face shown, which we can control on omegle. The reddit gone wild suggestion is a good one, we'll look into that.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 11:40 AM on April 1, 2011

[comments removed - please stop the assault derail, thanks ]
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 12:33 PM on April 1, 2011

Thanks Jessamyn!

OP - a strip club but wearing a mask? Also...omeagle/chatroulette with some conversation about age verification?

Or maybe there's a niche there - adults only omeagle....anyone up for making it happen?
posted by nile_red at 12:41 PM on April 1, 2011

How important is it to her that she sees the viewers reaction? If she just wants to flash she can log on to and put her webcam up for public viewing, or just invite who she wants to view it.
posted by newpotato at 2:14 PM on April 1, 2011

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