Minor Family drama, fight with parents. Run or stay?
March 31, 2011 11:30 AM Subscribe
Minor Family drama, fight with parents. Stay until conflict dies down, or leave early?
I'm male and in my early twenties, moved out from my parents five years ago.
Two weeks ago, I had an accident and was hospitalised for a few days. The last one and a half weeks, I stayed with my parents to recuperate. They, especially my mother, cared for me while I got better. All was well until today, when tensions started to build up and a fight erupted from a discussion about literature. When discussing which kind of stories we find interesting, I felt put on trial, because my mother remarked I didn't read character dramas and she is worried I don't care about other people. (I am indeed a rather analytical person and don't get many social cues.)
After the main discussion was over, I remarked to her that she sounded condescending, she felt very offended and stormed off. I don't know where she is right now, probably with one of her friends.
I planned to take a train back to the place where I study on Monday, right now I am considering whether to take an earlier train this evening. Travelling with all my luggage would be medically unwise, I would leave most of it behind to collect it another day.
My brother is coming home on Saturday, this was supposed to be a family reunion. My father is still here, he tried to defuse and mediate, until my mother left and I told him I'd prefer to be alone. I can imagine he is quite unhappy about the whole situation. My mother is usally very reasonable, but unlikely to ever apologize or admit being wrong.
My question is: Should I leave now, or wait until she returns, try to defuse the conflict and stay until Monday?
Leaving now would probably seen as an escalation, but I imagine the next days to be rather unpleasant if I stay. Also, I want to do something, not just waiting meekly until she considers it okay to talk to me again.
Can anyone say from experience which decision I would probably regret more?
I'm male and in my early twenties, moved out from my parents five years ago.
Two weeks ago, I had an accident and was hospitalised for a few days. The last one and a half weeks, I stayed with my parents to recuperate. They, especially my mother, cared for me while I got better. All was well until today, when tensions started to build up and a fight erupted from a discussion about literature. When discussing which kind of stories we find interesting, I felt put on trial, because my mother remarked I didn't read character dramas and she is worried I don't care about other people. (I am indeed a rather analytical person and don't get many social cues.)
After the main discussion was over, I remarked to her that she sounded condescending, she felt very offended and stormed off. I don't know where she is right now, probably with one of her friends.
I planned to take a train back to the place where I study on Monday, right now I am considering whether to take an earlier train this evening. Travelling with all my luggage would be medically unwise, I would leave most of it behind to collect it another day.
My brother is coming home on Saturday, this was supposed to be a family reunion. My father is still here, he tried to defuse and mediate, until my mother left and I told him I'd prefer to be alone. I can imagine he is quite unhappy about the whole situation. My mother is usally very reasonable, but unlikely to ever apologize or admit being wrong.
My question is: Should I leave now, or wait until she returns, try to defuse the conflict and stay until Monday?
Leaving now would probably seen as an escalation, but I imagine the next days to be rather unpleasant if I stay. Also, I want to do something, not just waiting meekly until she considers it okay to talk to me again.
Can anyone say from experience which decision I would probably regret more?
I think you'd regret leaving more than you'd regret staying. This sounds like a pretty minor argument and will probably blow over quickly. Plus it would be punishing your brother for something your mom did - I'm sure he's looking forward to seeing you. So stay.
posted by hazyjane at 11:33 AM on March 31, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by hazyjane at 11:33 AM on March 31, 2011 [2 favorites]
When discussing which kind of stories we find interesting, I felt put on trial
You are most likely a good and intelligent person. My advice? Read what you wrote above repeatedly until you realize what to do. If you mix in deep breaths, it shouldn't take long.
posted by red clover at 11:35 AM on March 31, 2011 [3 favorites]
You are most likely a good and intelligent person. My advice? Read what you wrote above repeatedly until you realize what to do. If you mix in deep breaths, it shouldn't take long.
posted by red clover at 11:35 AM on March 31, 2011 [3 favorites]
As you already said, leaving now would be seen as an escalation. Stay the course.
You don't need to wait meekly until your mother talks to you, you could talk to her first. I don't know how you framed your remark that she sounded condescending, but you can take one for the team and apologize. Say you are sorry if you came off like you were accusing her. You realize she was only looking out for you (you do, right? It sounds like you do), and you want to make up so you can enjoy the rest of your visit.
posted by coupdefoudre at 11:35 AM on March 31, 2011 [2 favorites]
You don't need to wait meekly until your mother talks to you, you could talk to her first. I don't know how you framed your remark that she sounded condescending, but you can take one for the team and apologize. Say you are sorry if you came off like you were accusing her. You realize she was only looking out for you (you do, right? It sounds like you do), and you want to make up so you can enjoy the rest of your visit.
posted by coupdefoudre at 11:35 AM on March 31, 2011 [2 favorites]
Your dad knows your mom best. Find that guy and say, "Hey dad, I feel really bad about the argument I had with mom earlier. What, if anything, should I do to help it blow over so it doesn't ruin our weekend?"
posted by milk white peacock at 11:35 AM on March 31, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by milk white peacock at 11:35 AM on March 31, 2011 [2 favorites]
Defuse it. I've been in similar situations. Apologize (she's likely forgotten all about it by now) and learn to let unfair parental criticism roll off your back (it takes patience and is often an acquired skill). Not worth spoiling your family time.
posted by tully_monster at 11:36 AM on March 31, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by tully_monster at 11:36 AM on March 31, 2011 [1 favorite]
Best answer: it sounds to me like the fight has nothing at all to do with literature. i think you'd be best to sit down with your mom, thank her again for taking care of you for the last week. apologize for calling her condescending (because even if it's true, nothing is gained by saying that to your mother unless you're looking to say "fuck you" to her). you can also tell her that you felt hurt by her attack on your character by books you like to read and try to have a conversation if you think it will be fruitful. stay the weekend, get distracted by your brother, and don't escalate things.
your mother has probably had a rather unpleasant time being put back in the role of caretaker and insulting her by leaving early just because you don't think it'll be super fun is kind of childish. i'm not one of those "always honor your mother!" people, but she's earned a little bit of understanding for a short temper...
posted by nadawi at 11:38 AM on March 31, 2011 [6 favorites]
your mother has probably had a rather unpleasant time being put back in the role of caretaker and insulting her by leaving early just because you don't think it'll be super fun is kind of childish. i'm not one of those "always honor your mother!" people, but she's earned a little bit of understanding for a short temper...
posted by nadawi at 11:38 AM on March 31, 2011 [6 favorites]
Stay and honor your plans. It was a small fight, and not worth trashing the weekend for.
If your mom is acting weird, it may be because she is concerned or stressed. It is not an easy thing seeing one of your children sick or hurt. It may be the worst thing a parent can experience. I would suggest showing your mom some love.
Usually, when my mom accuses me of not caring for other people, I believe is she is using her mom code to tell me SHE feels like I don't care for her. Another reason to show love.
posted by amodelcitizen at 11:42 AM on March 31, 2011 [8 favorites]
If your mom is acting weird, it may be because she is concerned or stressed. It is not an easy thing seeing one of your children sick or hurt. It may be the worst thing a parent can experience. I would suggest showing your mom some love.
Usually, when my mom accuses me of not caring for other people, I believe is she is using her mom code to tell me SHE feels like I don't care for her. Another reason to show love.
posted by amodelcitizen at 11:42 AM on March 31, 2011 [8 favorites]
You could do what I do with my parents: pretend it never happened and move on. It's probably not the healthiest thing, but otherwise we'd be at odds constantly.
posted by Hoopo at 11:43 AM on March 31, 2011 [4 favorites]
posted by Hoopo at 11:43 AM on March 31, 2011 [4 favorites]
Of course we only have the details you have provided to go on, but even if everything you said is true and you are "justified" in your anger/hurt/annoyance, use this as a learning opportunity. Apologize. Don't half-ass apologize and say "I'm sorry you felt hurt," actually apologize sincerely. Maybe because you appreciate everything she has ever done for you. Maybe because you appreciate her taking care of you after your accident. Or maybe because being a kind, forgiving person is more important than being a grudge-holding person. There may be a lot of fights worth having in this life. This isn't one of them.
Then come back and tell us how right we all are. ;D
posted by Glinn at 11:46 AM on March 31, 2011 [1 favorite]
Then come back and tell us how right we all are. ;D
posted by Glinn at 11:46 AM on March 31, 2011 [1 favorite]
Best answer: Leaving now would probably seen as an escalation, but I imagine the next days to be rather unpleasant if I stay. Also, I want to do something, not just waiting meekly until she considers it okay to talk to me again.
Leaving would create drama and is basically a more severe version of your mother's storming off. Being a grown-up about things and ignoring petty incidents like this is not being meek. If there was an actual problem that you needed to solve, then doing something would be appropriate. But if the only problem is that your mother is currently being unreasonable then it's perfectly fine to wait for her to stop being unreasonable.
Put the incident behind you and be friendly with your family (including your mother, even if she is not friendly to you) and you will look like the mature and reasonable one. Sincerely apologizing to your mother for anything you actually regret would score even more high road points. Leave early without seeing your brother after such a minor fight over something meaningless and you will be the one who looks unreasonable.
posted by burnmp3s at 11:47 AM on March 31, 2011
Leaving would create drama and is basically a more severe version of your mother's storming off. Being a grown-up about things and ignoring petty incidents like this is not being meek. If there was an actual problem that you needed to solve, then doing something would be appropriate. But if the only problem is that your mother is currently being unreasonable then it's perfectly fine to wait for her to stop being unreasonable.
Put the incident behind you and be friendly with your family (including your mother, even if she is not friendly to you) and you will look like the mature and reasonable one. Sincerely apologizing to your mother for anything you actually regret would score even more high road points. Leave early without seeing your brother after such a minor fight over something meaningless and you will be the one who looks unreasonable.
posted by burnmp3s at 11:47 AM on March 31, 2011
Best answer: You likely experienced the peak of the typical irritation curve which, in my experience, happens to the best of us when we interact with our parents for a prolonged period of time after having been away from home for a while. One and a half weeks seems to me spot on, actually.
As others say, it'll be soon over if you don't run. If you pull out now, on the other hand, you'll blow it up beyond funny.
That said, your mom may think she knows you best and all that, but if she expresses what you describe as "I am indeed a rather analytical person and don't get many social cues" in terms of being "worried you don't care about other people," she isn't giving you much to act on - she's criticizing you for the way you're made via her interpretation.
So as a medium-term project, you could perhaps try to get some feedback about your social makeup from others, or read up on your personality type, or something else to get to know yourself a bit better, what do I know... It is important to find some or other way of knowing and accepting oneself like one is.
posted by Namlit at 11:59 AM on March 31, 2011
As others say, it'll be soon over if you don't run. If you pull out now, on the other hand, you'll blow it up beyond funny.
That said, your mom may think she knows you best and all that, but if she expresses what you describe as "I am indeed a rather analytical person and don't get many social cues" in terms of being "worried you don't care about other people," she isn't giving you much to act on - she's criticizing you for the way you're made via her interpretation.
So as a medium-term project, you could perhaps try to get some feedback about your social makeup from others, or read up on your personality type, or something else to get to know yourself a bit better, what do I know... It is important to find some or other way of knowing and accepting oneself like one is.
posted by Namlit at 11:59 AM on March 31, 2011
a few things to note:
You went parents home to recover - not to your home. Your mom cared for you, not a significant other. This shaded my response.
I felt put on trial, because my mother remarked I didn't read character dramas and she is worried I don't care about other people. (I am indeed a rather analytical person and don't get many social cues.)
Your mom just told you that she'd like to know more about you emotionally. You've been out of the house for five years. They know less and less about you and your social life. Maybe now is a good time to mention a girl/boy (whatevs, no social judgement here) that you've flirted with or that you are interested in - give her something vaguely tangible to imagine you seeing, or at least let her in on the dating process being hard. Sorry man, her interpretation could have been easily been wedding and grandkids talk - she wants you happy in the long term sense.
I planned to take a train back to the place where I study on Monday, right now I am considering whether to take an earlier train this evening. Travelling with all my luggage would be medically unwise, I would leave most of it behind to collect it another day.
Long story short, if your mom is upset: has she been emotionally cut out of your adult life? Does she know about your friends, the girls (or boys) you'd like to date, what your feelings of emotional connectiviity are, or really anything about how you approach interpersonal relationships with people. If you leave, her worry and concern will just be reinforced in her mind. No good can come from that. You'll reinforce her interpretation of your literature choices (as I assert: it might be that she is afraid you won't find a nice girl and settle down and that they've raised a perpetual bachelor, there will be no grandkids, and that her work as a mother has somehow failed you.) Make nice, stay the weekend, and open up slightly with her.
And also, I always phrase things as I plan to stay, or they visit 1/3 too long when I am around my parents. If we plan a week, day 4 usually has a blowout. If they visit for three days, my dad and I will fight at the end of day two... It doesn't always happen that way, but damnit, if it doesn't always seem like it does.
posted by Nanukthedog at 12:11 PM on March 31, 2011 [5 favorites]
You went parents home to recover - not to your home. Your mom cared for you, not a significant other. This shaded my response.
I felt put on trial, because my mother remarked I didn't read character dramas and she is worried I don't care about other people. (I am indeed a rather analytical person and don't get many social cues.)
Your mom just told you that she'd like to know more about you emotionally. You've been out of the house for five years. They know less and less about you and your social life. Maybe now is a good time to mention a girl/boy (whatevs, no social judgement here) that you've flirted with or that you are interested in - give her something vaguely tangible to imagine you seeing, or at least let her in on the dating process being hard. Sorry man, her interpretation could have been easily been wedding and grandkids talk - she wants you happy in the long term sense.
I planned to take a train back to the place where I study on Monday, right now I am considering whether to take an earlier train this evening. Travelling with all my luggage would be medically unwise, I would leave most of it behind to collect it another day.
Long story short, if your mom is upset: has she been emotionally cut out of your adult life? Does she know about your friends, the girls (or boys) you'd like to date, what your feelings of emotional connectiviity are, or really anything about how you approach interpersonal relationships with people. If you leave, her worry and concern will just be reinforced in her mind. No good can come from that. You'll reinforce her interpretation of your literature choices (as I assert: it might be that she is afraid you won't find a nice girl and settle down and that they've raised a perpetual bachelor, there will be no grandkids, and that her work as a mother has somehow failed you.) Make nice, stay the weekend, and open up slightly with her.
And also, I always phrase things as I plan to stay, or they visit 1/3 too long when I am around my parents. If we plan a week, day 4 usually has a blowout. If they visit for three days, my dad and I will fight at the end of day two... It doesn't always happen that way, but damnit, if it doesn't always seem like it does.
posted by Nanukthedog at 12:11 PM on March 31, 2011 [5 favorites]
Best answer: Stay there and make nice. You're all together in a way you normally aren't, your parents were probably worried about you, your mom is probably stressed from taking care of you in addition to whatever she would normally be doing.
If you leave now, you are making a whole big thing of it, and if you stay it will likely blow over just fine. I would almost guarantee that leaving may feel like a good idea but it won't feel like a good idea later, and when you have to go back and pick up your stuff the issue is still going to be there but a lot worse.
If you want to do something, then sit your mother down, apologize for being argumentative and tell her that you don't want to fight. Part of being a grown up is taking responsibility for your part in a situation and then doing what you can to make it right.
posted by mrs. taters at 12:12 PM on March 31, 2011 [1 favorite]
If you leave now, you are making a whole big thing of it, and if you stay it will likely blow over just fine. I would almost guarantee that leaving may feel like a good idea but it won't feel like a good idea later, and when you have to go back and pick up your stuff the issue is still going to be there but a lot worse.
If you want to do something, then sit your mother down, apologize for being argumentative and tell her that you don't want to fight. Part of being a grown up is taking responsibility for your part in a situation and then doing what you can to make it right.
posted by mrs. taters at 12:12 PM on March 31, 2011 [1 favorite]
I have an argument like this almost every single time I visit to my parents. I just go do something else for a while and then pretend nothing happened the next time I talk to them.
posted by empath at 12:49 PM on March 31, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by empath at 12:49 PM on March 31, 2011 [2 favorites]
Best answer: Definitely stay.
Give up on who is right - it's rarely important, especially on a minor issue like this.
Your instinct to do something is wise, and I'd suggest apologizing to her. Apologize for your role and describe how you felt using the proverbial "I" statements. It might sound something like: "Hey Mom, I'm sorry I said you were condescending. That was rude of me. I felt hurt when you said I don't care about other people, and unfortunately I snapped at you. You've been so nice to me during my illness and I want you to know that I really appreciate that. I also want you to know I do care - especially about our family. How can we move past this to have a fun weekend?"
Odds are her response will likely be 1) an apology for her role, 2) an acceptance of your apology but no apology, or 3) a return to the previous argument. #1 is great, #2 is fine too - don't expect an apology. Be ready to gracefully deflect the third or suss out if there is something deeper there.
posted by rube goldberg at 1:00 PM on March 31, 2011 [2 favorites]
Give up on who is right - it's rarely important, especially on a minor issue like this.
Your instinct to do something is wise, and I'd suggest apologizing to her. Apologize for your role and describe how you felt using the proverbial "I" statements. It might sound something like: "Hey Mom, I'm sorry I said you were condescending. That was rude of me. I felt hurt when you said I don't care about other people, and unfortunately I snapped at you. You've been so nice to me during my illness and I want you to know that I really appreciate that. I also want you to know I do care - especially about our family. How can we move past this to have a fun weekend?"
Odds are her response will likely be 1) an apology for her role, 2) an acceptance of your apology but no apology, or 3) a return to the previous argument. #1 is great, #2 is fine too - don't expect an apology. Be ready to gracefully deflect the third or suss out if there is something deeper there.
posted by rube goldberg at 1:00 PM on March 31, 2011 [2 favorites]
Best answer: This is totally normal. You've been on your own for a long time now. Your parents aren't used to you being around, and you're not used to being around your parents. Add to that the stress of your accident and caregiving (which is not the easiest thing in the world, even for people who love you more than anything!)
Stay. Apologize if you feel it's warranted, if not just let it blow over. Remember that in a few days you will be on your own again.
After some teenage angst, my relationship with my parents has become absolutely wonderful. We talk on the phone at least once a week, usually two or three times. But when I visit home.... by day 3 or 4, someone is going to get testy. It's just the way these things go.
posted by charmcityblues at 1:00 PM on March 31, 2011
Stay. Apologize if you feel it's warranted, if not just let it blow over. Remember that in a few days you will be on your own again.
After some teenage angst, my relationship with my parents has become absolutely wonderful. We talk on the phone at least once a week, usually two or three times. But when I visit home.... by day 3 or 4, someone is going to get testy. It's just the way these things go.
posted by charmcityblues at 1:00 PM on March 31, 2011
Please, please, please stay.
When I learnt to offer a sincere apology first, even when I felt that the situation wasn't entirely my fault, my relationship with my parents improved ten-fold. Parents are generally set in their ways, stubborn, and certainly don't want to concede anything to their "child". So:
"Mum, I want to apologize for calling you condescending earlier. I felt under attack when you said I don't relate to people. I've also felt a little confined and helpless since the accident."
Judging by the way she has taken care of you since your accident, she will probably drop to her knees and thank the stars, before apologizing profusely and begging your forgiveness.
posted by smithsmith at 1:09 PM on March 31, 2011 [2 favorites]
When I learnt to offer a sincere apology first, even when I felt that the situation wasn't entirely my fault, my relationship with my parents improved ten-fold. Parents are generally set in their ways, stubborn, and certainly don't want to concede anything to their "child". So:
"Mum, I want to apologize for calling you condescending earlier. I felt under attack when you said I don't relate to people. I've also felt a little confined and helpless since the accident."
Judging by the way she has taken care of you since your accident, she will probably drop to her knees and thank the stars, before apologizing profusely and begging your forgiveness.
posted by smithsmith at 1:09 PM on March 31, 2011 [2 favorites]
Also, I want to do something, not just waiting meekly until she considers it okay to talk to me again.
Leaving is worse than putting your fingers in your ears and yelling "LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU."
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 1:12 PM on March 31, 2011
Leaving is worse than putting your fingers in your ears and yelling "LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU."
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 1:12 PM on March 31, 2011
my mother remarked I didn't read character dramas and she is worried I don't care about other people.
Actually it sounds like she's not rocking the world's best assessment of social cues either. You can still issue an apology of the 'I'm sorry our discussion got so personal. That was out of line.' and maintain a bit of integrity and stick around for the weekend. Your mom saying she thinks maybe you don't care about other people is not very flattering. She didn't mean to hurt your feelings and it's possible she literally can't conceive of being condescending to you, whose diapers she changed.
You can say it was a little hurtful, but you don't have to dwell on it. If you go storming off it reflects poorly on you, because then you have compounded the overreaction.
Also: boundaries. Learn 'em, love 'em, live 'em. Somehow it kind of sounds like maybe the basic human rule of politeness of not making routine discussions into makeshift psychoanalysis is getting circumvented. The only way to get out of that is to hit the brakes when it starts and a very key element of that is refusing to get drawn into a discussion about it. "Hm. Interesting thought. [Redirection of discussion]." works well, but you have to remember not to take the bait.
posted by A Terrible Llama at 1:49 PM on March 31, 2011
Actually it sounds like she's not rocking the world's best assessment of social cues either. You can still issue an apology of the 'I'm sorry our discussion got so personal. That was out of line.' and maintain a bit of integrity and stick around for the weekend. Your mom saying she thinks maybe you don't care about other people is not very flattering. She didn't mean to hurt your feelings and it's possible she literally can't conceive of being condescending to you, whose diapers she changed.
You can say it was a little hurtful, but you don't have to dwell on it. If you go storming off it reflects poorly on you, because then you have compounded the overreaction.
Also: boundaries. Learn 'em, love 'em, live 'em. Somehow it kind of sounds like maybe the basic human rule of politeness of not making routine discussions into makeshift psychoanalysis is getting circumvented. The only way to get out of that is to hit the brakes when it starts and a very key element of that is refusing to get drawn into a discussion about it. "Hm. Interesting thought. [Redirection of discussion]." works well, but you have to remember not to take the bait.
posted by A Terrible Llama at 1:49 PM on March 31, 2011
Your mom is being a jerk for reasons unknown. Ignore her and pretend she never snarked at you.
posted by anniecat at 1:50 PM on March 31, 2011
posted by anniecat at 1:50 PM on March 31, 2011
Best answer: Can anyone say from experience which decision I would probably regret more?
Yeah, as someone who has acted like a big baby in the past, and probably will again, oh, I don't know -- tomorrow -- you regret making Big Drama more. For one thing, it's just one more thing in life that will have to be managed.
posted by A Terrible Llama at 1:52 PM on March 31, 2011
Yeah, as someone who has acted like a big baby in the past, and probably will again, oh, I don't know -- tomorrow -- you regret making Big Drama more. For one thing, it's just one more thing in life that will have to be managed.
posted by A Terrible Llama at 1:52 PM on March 31, 2011
Also, I can be a jerk when I'm irritable and I'm irritable when I'm stressed. Cut her some slack for being a jerk.
posted by anniecat at 1:52 PM on March 31, 2011
posted by anniecat at 1:52 PM on March 31, 2011
Response by poster: Thank you all for your advice! It fortunately went very well.
My mother returned soon after I wrote the question, I wouldn't even have time to leave, had I decided to. I approached her and apologized for careless wording. She apologized for careless wording on her part. Then she told a story about her childhood which was similar to this incident to make sure she understood my criticism about psychoanalysing others.
I will have to accept some of her criticisms as well, maybe I really sometimes sound very cold. (I wouldn't have objected if she had phrased it like this... Well, hindsight.)
It seems all is back to normal now, much much better than I had hoped.
Maybe now is a good time to mention a girl/boy (whatevs, no social judgement here) that you've flirted with or that you are interested in
I do not wish to do that now, but will remember your advice. Currently, I still pine after my ex who is in a relationship with a former good friend of mine, so I'm a bit cynical about dating and don't want to inflict this attitude on anyone.
All told, this is resolved. Thank you all!
posted by faux fabric entertainment device at 1:59 PM on March 31, 2011 [5 favorites]
My mother returned soon after I wrote the question, I wouldn't even have time to leave, had I decided to. I approached her and apologized for careless wording. She apologized for careless wording on her part. Then she told a story about her childhood which was similar to this incident to make sure she understood my criticism about psychoanalysing others.
I will have to accept some of her criticisms as well, maybe I really sometimes sound very cold. (I wouldn't have objected if she had phrased it like this... Well, hindsight.)
It seems all is back to normal now, much much better than I had hoped.
Maybe now is a good time to mention a girl/boy (whatevs, no social judgement here) that you've flirted with or that you are interested in
I do not wish to do that now, but will remember your advice. Currently, I still pine after my ex who is in a relationship with a former good friend of mine, so I'm a bit cynical about dating and don't want to inflict this attitude on anyone.
All told, this is resolved. Thank you all!
posted by faux fabric entertainment device at 1:59 PM on March 31, 2011 [5 favorites]
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 11:32 AM on March 31, 2011 [42 favorites]