Is full-time day care for a little kiddo too much? Go back to work full or part time?
March 14, 2011 9:27 AM Subscribe
Is full-time day care for a little kiddo too much?
Go back to work full or part time?
The outfit I was working for closed.
Now I'm jobless and looking for work. I had a good, well paying, part time job which worked great for three-year-old Daughter Shmoobles as she was in day care for 7.5 hours four days a week. Not quite a full day and we had a whole day together every week which was fantastic!
So (optimistically) the possibility looms of going back to work and maybe someplace will offer me a full time position. But I'm worried that full time daycare will be too much for my little girl.
I'm sure there are tons of families out there with kiddos in full time daycare and I am just wondering what are the pros and cons in your experience? Has it affected your children?
I've got Son Shmoobles due to arrive in two months and some have advised me to get on the unemployment benefits
with the two kids and just do that as long as possible.
Anybody else out there doing this? How's it working for you?
The outfit I was working for closed.
Now I'm jobless and looking for work. I had a good, well paying, part time job which worked great for three-year-old Daughter Shmoobles as she was in day care for 7.5 hours four days a week. Not quite a full day and we had a whole day together every week which was fantastic!
So (optimistically) the possibility looms of going back to work and maybe someplace will offer me a full time position. But I'm worried that full time daycare will be too much for my little girl.
I'm sure there are tons of families out there with kiddos in full time daycare and I am just wondering what are the pros and cons in your experience? Has it affected your children?
I've got Son Shmoobles due to arrive in two months and some have advised me to get on the unemployment benefits
with the two kids and just do that as long as possible.
Anybody else out there doing this? How's it working for you?
I am at home full-time but most of my friends work full-time and have their kids in full-time daycare. Regardless of the temperament of the child, they like daycare (though they may have anxiety at drop-off/pick-up time during the transition, depending on temperament). I am actually slightly jealous of all the enrichment and interaction that my friends' kids get at daycare ... I'm only one person, and not a child development professional at that!
Anyway, my son's little friends are no less happy than my son and they're all about on the same target developmentally and emotionally. Staying home is nice, but I don't see any problems at all with full-time daycare.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 9:33 AM on March 14, 2011 [1 favorite]
Anyway, my son's little friends are no less happy than my son and they're all about on the same target developmentally and emotionally. Staying home is nice, but I don't see any problems at all with full-time daycare.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 9:33 AM on March 14, 2011 [1 favorite]
In my experience going from part-time to nearly full-time daycare for my 2-year old was much harder on me than it was on her. But in my case, my daughter loves her daycare, has been there since she was 3 months old, and we've been really happy with the care. She loves hanging out with all the other kids and frankly, they provide a much more enriched environment than I do.
Only you can really say if full-time daycare would be too much for your daughter but there are hundreds of thousands of kids that go to full-time daycare and turn out just fine.
I think you'll need daycare help in order to make your job search effective but with another on the way, I could see wanting to hold off for a few months while you make the transition to a larger family.
posted by otherwordlyglow at 9:34 AM on March 14, 2011 [2 favorites]
Only you can really say if full-time daycare would be too much for your daughter but there are hundreds of thousands of kids that go to full-time daycare and turn out just fine.
I think you'll need daycare help in order to make your job search effective but with another on the way, I could see wanting to hold off for a few months while you make the transition to a larger family.
posted by otherwordlyglow at 9:34 AM on March 14, 2011 [2 favorites]
My son has been in care full time (45+ hours a week) since he was 12 weeks old. He was in a great in-home care situation until this September, when we started him (at age 4) in a "real" preschool in prep for Kindergarten in the fall.
He loves it. Always has. I echo otherworldlyglow above, however, to say that it has been much, much harder on me than on him. Much harder.
My son is absolutely a better kid from having been in daycare than he would have been as a stay-at-home only child. Many kids transition from part-time to full-time care easily.
the possibility looms of going back to work and maybe someplace will offer me a full time position.
Are you talking about doing this after your son is born? (So, three-four months from now?) Or sooner?
posted by anastasiav at 9:50 AM on March 14, 2011
He loves it. Always has. I echo otherworldlyglow above, however, to say that it has been much, much harder on me than on him. Much harder.
My son is absolutely a better kid from having been in daycare than he would have been as a stay-at-home only child. Many kids transition from part-time to full-time care easily.
the possibility looms of going back to work and maybe someplace will offer me a full time position.
Are you talking about doing this after your son is born? (So, three-four months from now?) Or sooner?
posted by anastasiav at 9:50 AM on March 14, 2011
I don't understand how it could be. Millions of children are in full-time daycare and turn out fine. My three have been in FT daycare since they were four months old. We (like most people who send their kids to FT daycare) didn't have much choice. I obviously don't know how my kids would have turned out if they hadn't been in daycare, but I'm happy with the way they have. So far.
posted by pyjammy at 10:03 AM on March 14, 2011
posted by pyjammy at 10:03 AM on March 14, 2011
Response by poster: Are you talking about doing this after your son is born? (So, three-four months from now?) Or sooner?
Frankly having my job dissipate has simply moved the timetable up a bit.
Our original plan was for me to quit around September or October when Mrs. Shmoobles maternity leave ends, at which time I was planning on spending time with newbie until his first birthday. Then he could go into daycare himself.
I was looking forward to this and it was indeed our plan, but perhaps losing my job instead of walking away from it as part of that plan has put me in a different and more affected frame of mind.
posted by No Shmoobles at 10:10 AM on March 14, 2011
Frankly having my job dissipate has simply moved the timetable up a bit.
Our original plan was for me to quit around September or October when Mrs. Shmoobles maternity leave ends, at which time I was planning on spending time with newbie until his first birthday. Then he could go into daycare himself.
I was looking forward to this and it was indeed our plan, but perhaps losing my job instead of walking away from it as part of that plan has put me in a different and more affected frame of mind.
posted by No Shmoobles at 10:10 AM on March 14, 2011
Your biggest concern may be finding a good and reasonably priced full time daycare with an opening when you want it. I think the amount of time a kid can spend in daycare depends a lot on the kid's temperment*, but here's my story. I think my daughter may very well have been much happier if she had been in daycare full time. She seems to be much more stimulated by a structured environment surrounded by her peers. In the summers, when she is in full time preschool she is just so happy. Also, three years is a good chunk of time to have spent at home, and it will likely give her a solid base.
* There was a study that showed that for every additional hour of daycare a child's performance (measured in grade school kids) went down by a small but measurable amount.
posted by stinker at 10:14 AM on March 14, 2011
* There was a study that showed that for every additional hour of daycare a child's performance (measured in grade school kids) went down by a small but measurable amount.
posted by stinker at 10:14 AM on March 14, 2011
From a child-development perspective, full time daycare has its benefits and drawbacks. On the one hand, a three-year-old needs to be socialized with other kids (not that you can't do this on your own, but daycare sort of makes this happen). Also, at that age, having a curriculum that helps them to work their little brains and motor skills is useful (again, can be down on your own, but [see above]), as is the opportunity to practice things like sharing, helping, cleaning, being responsible to adults besides mom and dad, etc.
The drawbacks, as I see them in child development, are that daycares usually pay very poorly and tend to have a revolving door in terms of staff. Additionally, that lack of pay means that people who aren't really qualified to take care of children often end up employed there (and yes, I know that many many good preschool teachers exist and that every person has a story of a wonderful one). This lack of continuity can be very hard on a child, though at three, it's not so bad. Revolving teachers often causes attachment issues and anxiety in the child. If you are planning on putting the baby in daycare, this is something to know about and think about.
Chose carefully -- a good daycare will have long-term teachers, structured play environments, benchmarks for the kids, clean, friendly professional staff and will be aware of development issues (many places seem to be concerned only with keeping the kids fed, rested and played instead of nurtured).
As for unemployment -- I've been there. It can be great if it's not your only income, but there will be hassles and headaches and checks that don't come when they are supposed to, etc. If it's simply supplemental for you and you want to stay home, then go for it.
posted by mrfuga0 at 10:26 AM on March 14, 2011
The drawbacks, as I see them in child development, are that daycares usually pay very poorly and tend to have a revolving door in terms of staff. Additionally, that lack of pay means that people who aren't really qualified to take care of children often end up employed there (and yes, I know that many many good preschool teachers exist and that every person has a story of a wonderful one). This lack of continuity can be very hard on a child, though at three, it's not so bad. Revolving teachers often causes attachment issues and anxiety in the child. If you are planning on putting the baby in daycare, this is something to know about and think about.
Chose carefully -- a good daycare will have long-term teachers, structured play environments, benchmarks for the kids, clean, friendly professional staff and will be aware of development issues (many places seem to be concerned only with keeping the kids fed, rested and played instead of nurtured).
As for unemployment -- I've been there. It can be great if it's not your only income, but there will be hassles and headaches and checks that don't come when they are supposed to, etc. If it's simply supplemental for you and you want to stay home, then go for it.
posted by mrfuga0 at 10:26 AM on March 14, 2011
Daughter S. will be going in to kindergarten in just a couple of years. If you could hold off, how wonderful to have this time with both kids ...!
posted by thinkpiece at 10:39 AM on March 14, 2011
posted by thinkpiece at 10:39 AM on March 14, 2011
i don't know much about daycares, but you should get on the unemployment immediately. not getting on it when you're entitled to is a mistake, unless you don't need the money.
posted by saraindc at 11:25 AM on March 14, 2011 [3 favorites]
posted by saraindc at 11:25 AM on March 14, 2011 [3 favorites]
to add- usually unemployment programs require that you show proof that you're looking for a job, and it should be sincere- so i'm not saying you should get on unemployment and stay on it, just that you should get on it.
posted by saraindc at 11:26 AM on March 14, 2011
posted by saraindc at 11:26 AM on March 14, 2011
One thing relevant to these sorts of discussions: "Parents gave their children's quality of care significantly higher ratings than did observers." 1, 2 The average US day care is pretty shoddy, but nobody wants to think their own kid is in sub-standard care -- so the reporting comes out a bit biased.
Do observe carefully. I am an at-home parent who tries to get out and about a lot, and I am more often than not distressed when we encounter day care groups. There are just too many children; it just doesn't work to have eight three-year-olds and one early-twenties non-parent trying to herd them. Tears go untended to, and while my daughter is eagerly and eloquently discussing her week's reading requirements with the children's librarian, the day care kids are being barked at to say thank you and get their boots on NOW, and then they get marched down the street on a rope.
The "socialization" stuff is a bit silly -- children learn from verbal adults, not from other struggling peers. If you have a few neighbours and a dash of swimming lessons your kid gets out and with other children enough, I'm sure. Hours of being paid insufficient attention by adults is not useful. ("Do the math.") Whether or not it is harmful is not so clear, but it certainly isn't helpful.
If the option exists to skip or minimise day care I find it hard to see why one wouldn't seize upon it. I know my 3yo's father grieves the need for him to work and would rather be with her.
At 3 and already accustomed to day care I doubt it would be too upsetting -- I would keep the younger one out of that loop for as long as possible, though. Which see; "large amounts of research are coming in showing that - particularly for children under two but also under three - childcare is generally likely to be harmful to them"
posted by kmennie at 1:27 PM on March 14, 2011
Do observe carefully. I am an at-home parent who tries to get out and about a lot, and I am more often than not distressed when we encounter day care groups. There are just too many children; it just doesn't work to have eight three-year-olds and one early-twenties non-parent trying to herd them. Tears go untended to, and while my daughter is eagerly and eloquently discussing her week's reading requirements with the children's librarian, the day care kids are being barked at to say thank you and get their boots on NOW, and then they get marched down the street on a rope.
The "socialization" stuff is a bit silly -- children learn from verbal adults, not from other struggling peers. If you have a few neighbours and a dash of swimming lessons your kid gets out and with other children enough, I'm sure. Hours of being paid insufficient attention by adults is not useful. ("Do the math.") Whether or not it is harmful is not so clear, but it certainly isn't helpful.
If the option exists to skip or minimise day care I find it hard to see why one wouldn't seize upon it. I know my 3yo's father grieves the need for him to work and would rather be with her.
At 3 and already accustomed to day care I doubt it would be too upsetting -- I would keep the younger one out of that loop for as long as possible, though. Which see; "large amounts of research are coming in showing that - particularly for children under two but also under three - childcare is generally likely to be harmful to them"
posted by kmennie at 1:27 PM on March 14, 2011
kmennie, that last link is from a NewsCorp site, linking to a childrens' book author making inflammatory statements which she is in no way qualified to make, backed up a right wing, religious "family" organisation that references nebulous "research" without actually citing any of it.
If that's the best evidence that childcare is harmful for kids, I think the OP has nothing to worry about.
posted by smoke at 3:12 PM on March 14, 2011 [2 favorites]
If that's the best evidence that childcare is harmful for kids, I think the OP has nothing to worry about.
posted by smoke at 3:12 PM on March 14, 2011 [2 favorites]
Mem Fox is a fine author who per Wikipedia "has published books on literacy aimed at children, their parents and teachers and educators. She held the position of Associate Professor, Literacy Studies, in the School of Education at Flinders University until her retirement in 1996."
But, this is very old news and the negative is easy to find. I do not think there is any research out there suggesting that babies can benefit from being placed in day care, though. It is not reasonable to postulate that there is 'nothing to worry about' about infants being separated from parents because, well, lulzy newssite is lulzy, etc.
For older kids quality of care is key and most quality = poor.
posted by kmennie at 4:44 PM on March 14, 2011
But, this is very old news and the negative is easy to find. I do not think there is any research out there suggesting that babies can benefit from being placed in day care, though. It is not reasonable to postulate that there is 'nothing to worry about' about infants being separated from parents because, well, lulzy newssite is lulzy, etc.
For older kids quality of care is key and most quality = poor.
posted by kmennie at 4:44 PM on March 14, 2011
kmennie, you're fear-mongering here and seem to have an axe to grind. You are correct that it is "easy to find" studies that are very negative on daycare, but there are a lot of oddball daycare studies out there - for instance there is a study that says that attending daycare reduces a child's risk of getting Leukaemia.
Your "quality of care" link is from a site that is basically SEO spam - jrank.org - and its original publication data (including title) is not cited. This is not really the same as linking to a study at a peer-reviewed source.
I did google around on the purported author's name and I believe the SEO cite is actually using some material from this article:
Pungello, E. P. & Bauer, D.J. (2002). Day Care. In N.J. Salkind (Ed.), Macmillan Psychology Reference Series: Vol 1. Child Development. New York: Macmillan Reference, USA.
but I'm unable to find a copy of that via Google to confirm if the SEO site is accurately quoting the article.
You are correct that quality of care is key, but lets all assume that this parent, like every parent, is going to invest in the best care they can afford. There is ample evidence that for preschoolers especially spending time in a good-quality care or preschool environment can have a significant positive impact on a child's social competence.
posted by anastasiav at 6:27 PM on March 14, 2011 [5 favorites]
Your "quality of care" link is from a site that is basically SEO spam - jrank.org - and its original publication data (including title) is not cited. This is not really the same as linking to a study at a peer-reviewed source.
I did google around on the purported author's name and I believe the SEO cite is actually using some material from this article:
Pungello, E. P. & Bauer, D.J. (2002). Day Care. In N.J. Salkind (Ed.), Macmillan Psychology Reference Series: Vol 1. Child Development. New York: Macmillan Reference, USA.
but I'm unable to find a copy of that via Google to confirm if the SEO site is accurately quoting the article.
You are correct that quality of care is key, but lets all assume that this parent, like every parent, is going to invest in the best care they can afford. There is ample evidence that for preschoolers especially spending time in a good-quality care or preschool environment can have a significant positive impact on a child's social competence.
posted by anastasiav at 6:27 PM on March 14, 2011 [5 favorites]
It depends completely on the quality of the daycare (more even than on the child.) Try to find a parents' group in your town and use it to vet the daycare options. There is a huge variation in how engaged caretakers are, what the turnover is, etc.
I know that my city has several absolutely top notch daycares where the children are demonstratively thriving.
posted by fingersandtoes at 7:16 PM on March 14, 2011
I know that my city has several absolutely top notch daycares where the children are demonstratively thriving.
posted by fingersandtoes at 7:16 PM on March 14, 2011
This thread is closed to new comments.
Every kid is different, and there's really no way to know if it will work out for your particular kid or not unless you try it (or decide not to).
posted by rtha at 9:31 AM on March 14, 2011