It's quittin time!

March 10, 2011 12:26 PM

How do I manage these final months at my job with my grad school acceptances?

Hi y'all,
Well, the good news is, I got into some great grad schools! One of them is a terminal masters program in the humanities WITH TUITION REMISSION AND SOME FUNDING. So that is pretty excellent, and I'm pretty sure I am going to accept.
The tricky news is, I haven't told my employers any of it.
Unfortunately, I have been out of the office already quite a lot this year, because of a death in the family and some long-lasting health problems - valid reasons, but my supervisors (well, really, one in particular) are getting kind of annoyed. I have not definitively decided when I'm leaving my job, but am thinking the beginning of June.
Here's what's bringing this to a head: It is sort of imperative that I visit some of the schools that I'm considering, meet with some professors, etc., and that I do it before decision day on April 10th. I'm afraid if I ask for any more time off, I'll get my head chopped off.
But I have to go, and I'm wondering if maybe I should tell my immediate supervisors about why I have to go. Not to officially put in my notice, but to tell them about what I've been doing and what I'm thinking. My job is kind of a "starter job" environment with a lot of turnover. Nobody stays very long, so it is expected that most people move on. I have stayed for so long that I'm sure they are surprised I'm still here!
One of my supervisors has always been supportive and I'm pretty sure she wouldn't fire me on the spot. I think the other would as well (she did write my predecessor's letters of recommendation for grad school while she was working, after all), but she is a little more ... unpredictable. I don't want to get fired at this stage, obviously, but at this point I'm definitely leaving anyway.
So, hive mind: To tell or not to tell? Should I be truthful about visiting schools or make up some kind of flimsy excuse?

Thanks :)

posted by bookgirl18 to Work & Money (11 answers total)

If you have paid time off available, use it to visit in April. You don't owe them an explanation of what you're doing. If it's a started job with a lot of turnover I'm guessing giving them 4 months notice is overkill, a month would probably be more than enough for a decent handover.

If you don't have any PTO, then telling them now is probably the best approach, they'll need to approve unpaid leave anyway.
posted by IanMorr at 12:47 PM on March 10, 2011

In leaving two jobs for grad school-related reasons, I've always erred on the side of being generous with notice: two months to thirty days, rather than two weeks. This was mostly due to guilt.

However, the minute you announce such a thing, the job becomes pretty much unbearable. Coworkers are always a little snipey about it, viewing you as having one foot out the door. Everything takes on a new gravity. And your future plans feel that much more real, making work stuff less meaningful.

I would not want to put up with, what? 4 months of that?

I vote flimsy excuse.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 12:48 PM on March 10, 2011

I've been through this, although my job wasn't a starter job. Personally, I would take the time off (assuming you have vacation/personal days to take) and wait to tell them when you're ready to give notice. If all that's going to result is that they're annoyed at you, does it really matter?

And though this isn't part of your question, if only one of the grad schools has offered you funding, you should go to that school unless you have some rock-solid reason not to, especially if you're only considering terminal degrees in the humanities (meaning, if you're getting an MFA, versus an MBA) so maybe you could cut down on the schools you're considering based on that? You might also consider speaking with the professors on the phone and visiting on a weekend when you could check out the school, town, and probably meet with other grad students (this happens at my school all the time.)
posted by drobot at 12:55 PM on March 10, 2011 [2 favorites]

bookgirl18: "But I have to go, "

No, you really don't. Plenty of people have chosen and attend grad and undergad schools sight unseen.

On top of that, if you got into a range of great grad schools and one of them is a "terminal masters program in the humanities WITH TUITION REMISSION AND SOME FUNDING" then how much of a choice are we really talking about here? Are the advantages of any of the other prgrams worth a debt load in the tens of thousands of dollars?

Simply accepting at the school with funding and not taking additional time off from work is a perfectly viable option, and arguably the best one.
posted by DarlingBri at 1:04 PM on March 10, 2011 [3 favorites]

Echoing DarlingBri and drobot: what could these other, unfunded programs possibly offer you? Do you mind telling us what you're studying? Are you planning to go into academia after earning your MA or will the MA make you more desirable for future jobs outside of research?
posted by Viola at 1:07 PM on March 10, 2011

Response by poster: To respond to DarlingBri and Viola: The choice would actually be between a PhD and a funded MA. I realize that the PhD is only suited for an academic career, so the choice basically depends on my goals. I'm only considering programs that have offered to fund me in some capacity.
posted by bookgirl18 at 1:16 PM on March 10, 2011

Do you have any vacation days left? Assuming you do, you don't have to give any excuses for why you're taking days off-- just sufficient notice so that they can cover you while you're gone for a couple of days. You OWN those vacation days. They're yours. I suppose you could get your head chopped off, but the odds of that are probably low, and you're going to quit anyway.

I gave my job a decent amount of notice before I left for grad school, but I don't think it was any more than a month, at most.

I presume the PhD is fully funded, as well.
posted by deanc at 1:20 PM on March 10, 2011

When I was going to grad school I told my boss basically the second I got in that I'd be leaving several months later. BUT I had a really good relationship with her, and she basically knew the whole time I worked there that I planned to go to grad school at some point.

In your situation I would probably make up an excuse for the visits and wait until everything was totally finalized before letting them know.
posted by grapesaresour at 1:26 PM on March 10, 2011

I did this back in the day. I let everybody know about 3 months out that I was going to grad school. I would not do it again. I'd give two weeks notice just like I was leaving for another job. I realize you want to be nice but mostly it's a pain to your employer, because they are thinking you're not really putting in a good effort.

I disagree about the advice not to visit... I think visiting is very helpful if you've never ever been to the town/school/department you are considering. For sure talk to some current students. Buy them a beer or two and get the low-down. Some departments are truly poisonous and it might be better to have less funding in a decent place than full funding in a terrible one. (Ask me how I know...)
posted by tuesdayschild at 1:51 PM on March 10, 2011 [1 favorite]

When I was in that situation, I chose flimsy excuses and it made me feel weird at the time, but much less weird than I felt later when I'd given my notice and everyone in the office was feeling weird. That was not a starter job, and part of the weirdness was how much my boss wanted me to stay, but you still might be surprised by how awkward things are if you're around for a long time after giving your notice. I gave two months notice in order to give my boss time to find a replacement that I could train, and by the end of that two months, the weirdness was overwhelming.

So yeah, flimsy excuses and vacation days. And do visit! It makes a difference. If you can't visit, ask the professors you talk to if they can put you in touch with current students. It's better to be able to chat over a beer, but a phone call can be helpful too.

And congratulations!
posted by dizziest at 2:54 PM on March 10, 2011

Response by poster: Just FYI, in case anyone ever comes back to this thread - I did end up telling my direct supervisors what I was doing, and they were actually quite supportive. And I also went to visit the schools to make my decision (and it's a good thing I did, it was very helpful).
So, YMMV - but thanks guys, as always, for the insight and guidance!
posted by bookgirl18 at 11:33 AM on May 18, 2011 [1 favorite]