Breakup songs from the other perspective?
November 20, 2010 4:24 PM Subscribe
I broke up with her. Give me a soundtrack.
Yeah, I've been through all the breakup-song threads, but they're mostly from the point of view of the one who got broken up with. I broke up with her and it was the toughest thing I've ever done because I still love her, but it needed to happen. Now I hate myself and want to wallow a little bit, but songs that are all "come back to me" do not paint my picture. Help?
Yeah, I've been through all the breakup-song threads, but they're mostly from the point of view of the one who got broken up with. I broke up with her and it was the toughest thing I've ever done because I still love her, but it needed to happen. Now I hate myself and want to wallow a little bit, but songs that are all "come back to me" do not paint my picture. Help?
Death Cab For Cutie - "Someday You Will Be Loved"
posted by katillathehun at 4:28 PM on November 20, 2010
posted by katillathehun at 4:28 PM on November 20, 2010
My best song for this is Regina Spektor's "On The Radio." These are the relevant lyrics (they work for breaking up from either perspective, as well as for when it's time to fall in love again:
This is how it works
You peer inside yourself
You take the things you like
And try to love the things you took
And then you take that love you made
And stick it into some...
Someone else's heart
Pumping someone else's blood
And walking arm in arm
You hope it don't get harmed
But even if it does
You'll just do it all again
posted by lover at 4:28 PM on November 20, 2010 [2 favorites]
This is how it works
You peer inside yourself
You take the things you like
And try to love the things you took
And then you take that love you made
And stick it into some...
Someone else's heart
Pumping someone else's blood
And walking arm in arm
You hope it don't get harmed
But even if it does
You'll just do it all again
posted by lover at 4:28 PM on November 20, 2010 [2 favorites]
Mumford and Sons, pretty much take your pick.
posted by Apoch at 4:30 PM on November 20, 2010 [2 favorites]
posted by Apoch at 4:30 PM on November 20, 2010 [2 favorites]
"All I Know" by Art Garfunkle may be a good one for you. It still acknowledges how much the break up sucks without being all "let's get back together."
"Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough" by Patti Smith may also help.
posted by biochemist at 4:30 PM on November 20, 2010 [1 favorite]
"Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough" by Patti Smith may also help.
posted by biochemist at 4:30 PM on November 20, 2010 [1 favorite]
Jens Lekman: I'm Leaving You (Because I Don't Love You)
posted by en forme de poire at 4:30 PM on November 20, 2010 [3 favorites]
posted by en forme de poire at 4:30 PM on November 20, 2010 [3 favorites]
In particular: Winter Winds, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4i8ml0XnR4k
posted by Apoch at 4:31 PM on November 20, 2010
posted by Apoch at 4:31 PM on November 20, 2010
Weezer's The World Has Turned and Left me here is pretty awesome. It reminds me of that feeling you have when you get out of a long relationship and discover who you really are again.
posted by sweetkid at 4:32 PM on November 20, 2010
posted by sweetkid at 4:32 PM on November 20, 2010
"Things have changed they're not the same, now i must walk the other way"
- Confusion, The Zutons
posted by rubyrudy at 4:35 PM on November 20, 2010
- Confusion, The Zutons
posted by rubyrudy at 4:35 PM on November 20, 2010
Birds by Neil Young. On the album After the Gold Rush.
posted by unannihilated at 4:36 PM on November 20, 2010 [2 favorites]
posted by unannihilated at 4:36 PM on November 20, 2010 [2 favorites]
Cat Power- Good Woman and Joanna Newsom's Does Not Suffice (have some tissues handy)
posted by oinopaponton at 4:37 PM on November 20, 2010 [4 favorites]
posted by oinopaponton at 4:37 PM on November 20, 2010 [4 favorites]
Red Rubber Ball By The Cyrkle Still from the point of the person broken up with, but all about "its going to get better" and "fuck you"
posted by ish__ at 4:37 PM on November 20, 2010
posted by ish__ at 4:37 PM on November 20, 2010
Alive, by Pearl Jam. You're still alive, she said. Yeah, but do I deserve to be?
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 4:41 PM on November 20, 2010
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 4:41 PM on November 20, 2010
You may have heard of a singer-songwriter named Bob Dylan. Most of his break-up songs are about him breaking up with someone. Because Bob always has the upper hand ... at least until Blood on the Tracks.
One of Us Must Know (Sooner or Later) is a particularly good one.
posted by thebergfather at 4:45 PM on November 20, 2010 [1 favorite]
One of Us Must Know (Sooner or Later) is a particularly good one.
posted by thebergfather at 4:45 PM on November 20, 2010 [1 favorite]
Pearl Jam's Alive is about a guy finding out who he thought was his dad wasn't actually his real dad. (Partly biographical song about lead singer Eddie Vedder.)
posted by unannihilated at 4:49 PM on November 20, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by unannihilated at 4:49 PM on November 20, 2010 [1 favorite]
I played N. Lannon's Chemical Friends over and over when I went through a break-up.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 4:53 PM on November 20, 2010
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 4:53 PM on November 20, 2010
A few exquisite wallowing songs from the '70s:
Too Much, Too Little, Too Late
Ain't No Sunshine
Alone Again (Naturally)
posted by Balonious Assault at 4:56 PM on November 20, 2010
Too Much, Too Little, Too Late
Ain't No Sunshine
Alone Again (Naturally)
posted by Balonious Assault at 4:56 PM on November 20, 2010
Reel Big Fish's The Bad Guy if you're sick of wallowing. (yeah, that anime? video is lame, but whatever).
posted by General Malaise at 4:58 PM on November 20, 2010
posted by General Malaise at 4:58 PM on November 20, 2010
Any Difranco's "You Had Time" (this isn't the full version) should fit the bill.
"You are really good food and I am full" - one of my favourite lines in a song ever.
posted by backwards guitar at 5:00 PM on November 20, 2010 [4 favorites]
"You are really good food and I am full" - one of my favourite lines in a song ever.
posted by backwards guitar at 5:00 PM on November 20, 2010 [4 favorites]
Your Ex-Lover is Dead by Stars (more sympathetic than it sounds!)
They Can't Take That Away From Me by Fred Astaire et al
Happy wallowing. 'Live through this and you won't look back.'
(on phone: no vids)
posted by dumdidumdum at 5:13 PM on November 20, 2010
They Can't Take That Away From Me by Fred Astaire et al
Happy wallowing. 'Live through this and you won't look back.'
(on phone: no vids)
posted by dumdidumdum at 5:13 PM on November 20, 2010
Oooh! Oooooh! And YouTube Tim Minchin's 'If I Didn't Have You'!!
posted by dumdidumdum at 5:16 PM on November 20, 2010
posted by dumdidumdum at 5:16 PM on November 20, 2010
So, this is embarrassing, but I really liked Jason Derulo's 'Ridin' Solo" for this purpose.
posted by shortyJBot at 5:18 PM on November 20, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by shortyJBot at 5:18 PM on November 20, 2010 [1 favorite]
This kind of song is very hard to find. These ones resonate with me, as someone who has been in your place before.
Weezer's Butterfly.
I told you I would return
When the robin makes his nest
But I ain't never coming back
Led Zeppelin's Babe I'm Gonna Leave You. (or maybe you'd prefer the Joan Baez version)
I know, I never leave you, baby.
But I got to go away from this place, Ive got to quit you.
Love will tear us apart, Susanna and the Magical Orchestra.
Radiohead's There There (Just 'cause you feel it doesn't mean it's there. )
John Denver's Leavin' on a jet plane.
Sometimes when things go like that I like to listen to music without any lyrics, though. To me, lyrics are all too often an imposition on my internal state. Yann Tiersen's track for Amelie often works for me. Max Richter, too.
posted by fake at 5:24 PM on November 20, 2010 [2 favorites]
Weezer's Butterfly.
I told you I would return
When the robin makes his nest
But I ain't never coming back
Led Zeppelin's Babe I'm Gonna Leave You. (or maybe you'd prefer the Joan Baez version)
I know, I never leave you, baby.
But I got to go away from this place, Ive got to quit you.
Love will tear us apart, Susanna and the Magical Orchestra.
Radiohead's There There (Just 'cause you feel it doesn't mean it's there. )
John Denver's Leavin' on a jet plane.
Sometimes when things go like that I like to listen to music without any lyrics, though. To me, lyrics are all too often an imposition on my internal state. Yann Tiersen's track for Amelie often works for me. Max Richter, too.
posted by fake at 5:24 PM on November 20, 2010 [2 favorites]
I'm surprised no one has mentioned our own Cortex's Inchoatery. One of the best soundtracks-to-a-breakup I've ever come across.
posted by restless_nomad at 5:29 PM on November 20, 2010
posted by restless_nomad at 5:29 PM on November 20, 2010
A whole soundtrack?
Can't think of any. How about Edith Piaf's Non, Je ne regrette rien, U2's With or Without You? Just listen to the lyrics very carefully. Also, Out of Sight, Out of Mind.
posted by easilyconfused at 5:38 PM on November 20, 2010
Can't think of any. How about Edith Piaf's Non, Je ne regrette rien, U2's With or Without You? Just listen to the lyrics very carefully. Also, Out of Sight, Out of Mind.
posted by easilyconfused at 5:38 PM on November 20, 2010
No Children by the Mountain Goats was mentioned recently in a similar thread, and I love it now.
(also, there have been lots of similar questions that will give you lots more ideas)
posted by auto-correct at 5:39 PM on November 20, 2010 [1 favorite]
(also, there have been lots of similar questions that will give you lots more ideas)
posted by auto-correct at 5:39 PM on November 20, 2010 [1 favorite]
No Children by the Mountain Goats is good, not clear if it is a breakup song but it certainly is a i-love-you-and-i-hate-you song.
posted by ChrisHartley at 5:40 PM on November 20, 2010
posted by ChrisHartley at 5:40 PM on November 20, 2010
Billy Bragg's New England (this performance is my favorite).
posted by bluestocking at 5:53 PM on November 20, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by bluestocking at 5:53 PM on November 20, 2010 [1 favorite]
"Free" by Morphine always had this particular tenor for me.
posted by Thistledown at 5:55 PM on November 20, 2010
posted by Thistledown at 5:55 PM on November 20, 2010
"It'll All Work Out" by Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers
posted by christinetheslp at 6:08 PM on November 20, 2010
posted by christinetheslp at 6:08 PM on November 20, 2010
"Too Late" by Carole King?
posted by AmbroseChapel at 6:27 PM on November 20, 2010
posted by AmbroseChapel at 6:27 PM on November 20, 2010
I've always loved The Weakerthans "Left and Leaving". It's nicely ambiguous about, well, who's left and who's leaving.
My city's still breathing
(but barely it's true)
through buildings gone missing like teeth.
The sidewalks are watching me think about you,
sparkled with broken glass.
I'm back with scars to show.
Back with the streets I know
will never take me anywhere but here.
The stain in the carpet, this drink in my hand,
the strangers whose faces I know.
We meet here for our dress-rehearsal to say
"I wanted it this way"
Wait for the year to drown.
Spring forward, fall back down.
I'm trying not to wonder where you are.
All this time
lingers, undefined.
Someone choose
who's left and who's leaving.
Memory will rust and erode into lists
of all that you gave me:
a blanket, some matches, this pain in my chest,
the best parts of lonely
duct-tape and soldered wires,
new words for old desires
and every birthday card I threw away.
I wait in 4/4 time,
Count yellow highway lines
that you're relying on to lead you home.
posted by iamkimiam at 6:28 PM on November 20, 2010 [1 favorite]
My city's still breathing
(but barely it's true)
through buildings gone missing like teeth.
The sidewalks are watching me think about you,
sparkled with broken glass.
I'm back with scars to show.
Back with the streets I know
will never take me anywhere but here.
The stain in the carpet, this drink in my hand,
the strangers whose faces I know.
We meet here for our dress-rehearsal to say
"I wanted it this way"
Wait for the year to drown.
Spring forward, fall back down.
I'm trying not to wonder where you are.
All this time
lingers, undefined.
Someone choose
who's left and who's leaving.
Memory will rust and erode into lists
of all that you gave me:
a blanket, some matches, this pain in my chest,
the best parts of lonely
duct-tape and soldered wires,
new words for old desires
and every birthday card I threw away.
I wait in 4/4 time,
Count yellow highway lines
that you're relying on to lead you home.
posted by iamkimiam at 6:28 PM on November 20, 2010 [1 favorite]
Wilco's Glad I'ts Over.
Lyric sample:
That day was bad, but now it's over I'm so glad.
posted by pluot at 6:30 PM on November 20, 2010
Lyric sample:
That day was bad, but now it's over I'm so glad.
posted by pluot at 6:30 PM on November 20, 2010
"A Gospel Song," Bob Geldof.
posted by fairytale of los angeles at 6:41 PM on November 20, 2010
posted by fairytale of los angeles at 6:41 PM on November 20, 2010
Closer by Joshua Radin
The Reason Why by Rachael Yamagata
Those songs really resonated with me when I ended a relationship.
posted by amro at 7:31 PM on November 20, 2010
The Reason Why by Rachael Yamagata
Those songs really resonated with me when I ended a relationship.
posted by amro at 7:31 PM on November 20, 2010
Because Bob always has the upper hand ... at least until Blood on the Tracks.
Speaking of Blood On The Tracks, IDIOT WIND is one of those Dylan songs that manages to be about pretty much everything, particularly the degree to which we're all complicit when it comes to life's fuckups.
Idiot wind, blowing through the buttons of our coats
Blowing through the letters that we wrote
Idiot wind, blowing through the dust upon our shelves
We’re idiots, babe
It’s a wonder we can even feed ourselves
And then there's Tangled Up In Blue. Nothing's more complicated than a meltdown.
posted by philip-random at 7:50 PM on November 20, 2010
Speaking of Blood On The Tracks, IDIOT WIND is one of those Dylan songs that manages to be about pretty much everything, particularly the degree to which we're all complicit when it comes to life's fuckups.
Idiot wind, blowing through the buttons of our coats
Blowing through the letters that we wrote
Idiot wind, blowing through the dust upon our shelves
We’re idiots, babe
It’s a wonder we can even feed ourselves
And then there's Tangled Up In Blue. Nothing's more complicated than a meltdown.
posted by philip-random at 7:50 PM on November 20, 2010
I Can't Love You Anymore by Lyle Lovett, on the album Road To Ensenada.
posted by wryly at 8:23 PM on November 20, 2010
posted by wryly at 8:23 PM on November 20, 2010
All The Roadrunning by Mark Knopfler & Emmylou Harris (really not a great version but the best free one I could find) and Say Yes by Elliot Smith ("they want you or they don't/say yes").
posted by kate blank at 8:25 PM on November 20, 2010
posted by kate blank at 8:25 PM on November 20, 2010
And Nice Dream by Radiohead extra loud and on repeat.
posted by kate blank at 8:27 PM on November 20, 2010
posted by kate blank at 8:27 PM on November 20, 2010
I know we could go all night with Bob Dylan songs, but I can't let this pass without adding Don't Think Twice, It's Alright.
The link goes to a clip from the season 1 finale of Mad Men, so I guess if you're really, really (really) far behind...
posted by cosmonaught at 8:36 PM on November 20, 2010 [1 favorite]
The link goes to a clip from the season 1 finale of Mad Men, so I guess if you're really, really (really) far behind...
posted by cosmonaught at 8:36 PM on November 20, 2010 [1 favorite]
Hmm, are self-links ok for this kind of thing? If so, check out the song "Lies Like These" here. It's about realizing your relationship needs to end and wishing it could be some other way, but knowing it can't.
posted by platinum at 8:38 PM on November 20, 2010
posted by platinum at 8:38 PM on November 20, 2010
Travis - Why Does It Always Rain On Me
Trembling Blue Stars - Sometimes I Still Feel The Bruise
Bob Dylan - Most of The Time
Lemonheads - Favourite T
posted by talkingmuffin at 9:07 PM on November 20, 2010
Trembling Blue Stars - Sometimes I Still Feel The Bruise
Bob Dylan - Most of The Time
Lemonheads - Favourite T
posted by talkingmuffin at 9:07 PM on November 20, 2010
I always recommend the entire album "Us" by Peter Gabriel -- there's a song for each and every mood of the breakup:
* wallowing
* anger
* "the thought of having sex with other people is scary, but exciting"
* "actually, the more I think about it, having sex with other people isn't scary after all"
* pensive and downbeat reflections on the difficulties of relationships in general
* accepting that it just wasn't meant to be, but that that also means it wasn't anyone's fault, and it not being anyone's fault means you can finally start to forgive both your ex and yourself.
I recommend those last two in your particular case.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:14 PM on November 20, 2010
* wallowing
* anger
* "the thought of having sex with other people is scary, but exciting"
* "actually, the more I think about it, having sex with other people isn't scary after all"
* pensive and downbeat reflections on the difficulties of relationships in general
* accepting that it just wasn't meant to be, but that that also means it wasn't anyone's fault, and it not being anyone's fault means you can finally start to forgive both your ex and yourself.
I recommend those last two in your particular case.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:14 PM on November 20, 2010
Damn near half of The Road to Ensenada would work; I would add two more to wryly's suggestion, "Promises" and "It Ought To Be Easier". "Promises" especially:
I offer no reason
I ask for no pity
I make no excuse
For the way that I am
And words are like poison
That sinks down inside you
And some things you do
You just don't understand
If you dig the alt country/folk, I also like James McMurtry for almost every depressing occasion. I think "Angeline" and "Lights of Cheyenne" would be the ones I'd add to my playlist.
posted by hackwolf at 10:39 PM on November 20, 2010
I offer no reason
I ask for no pity
I make no excuse
For the way that I am
And words are like poison
That sinks down inside you
And some things you do
You just don't understand
If you dig the alt country/folk, I also like James McMurtry for almost every depressing occasion. I think "Angeline" and "Lights of Cheyenne" would be the ones I'd add to my playlist.
posted by hackwolf at 10:39 PM on November 20, 2010
Oh, and one more that might work for you: Sun Comes Up, It's Tuesday Morning by the Cowboy Junkies.
posted by hackwolf at 11:04 PM on November 20, 2010
posted by hackwolf at 11:04 PM on November 20, 2010
Even though you're the man, "Good Woman" sounds about right (Nina Simone or Cat Power's).
posted by ifjuly at 11:10 PM on November 20, 2010
posted by ifjuly at 11:10 PM on November 20, 2010
Best answer: Ani DiFranco's song came to mind. There's also this tune by Jeff Buckley, two tunes by Tori Amos, and one by Neko Case. Here's a more generic song by Coldplay.
posted by simulacra at 2:12 AM on November 21, 2010
posted by simulacra at 2:12 AM on November 21, 2010
For Loving Me by Gordon Lightfoot fits this perfectly. Although, as much as I love Gord, I think that Peter, Paul and Mary did a stellar job covering it.
Movin' is my stock and trade, I'm movin' on
Don't think of me when I'm gone
Now don't you shed a tear for me
I'm not the love you thought I'd be
I've had a hundred more like you
I'll have a thousand 'fore I'm through
posted by fso at 6:17 AM on November 21, 2010
Movin' is my stock and trade, I'm movin' on
Don't think of me when I'm gone
Now don't you shed a tear for me
I'm not the love you thought I'd be
I've had a hundred more like you
I'll have a thousand 'fore I'm through
posted by fso at 6:17 AM on November 21, 2010
If you have any desire for songs that won't help you wallow, but come from that perspective, Robyn's "Call your girlfriend" might be good. It's a you-need-to-break-up-with-her song.
posted by dizziest at 7:50 AM on November 21, 2010
posted by dizziest at 7:50 AM on November 21, 2010
Spark by Wild Colonials
I knew love had to change, so I held your hand more tightly
And when I asked you to leave, you smiled at me politely
Please forgive my grief, I look like I have plenty
And still I ask you for more
Did I leave you feeling empty
The spark is gone but the love lives on
posted by teekat at 10:21 AM on November 21, 2010 [1 favorite]
I knew love had to change, so I held your hand more tightly
And when I asked you to leave, you smiled at me politely
Please forgive my grief, I look like I have plenty
And still I ask you for more
Did I leave you feeling empty
The spark is gone but the love lives on
posted by teekat at 10:21 AM on November 21, 2010 [1 favorite]
I found listening to foreign music particularly helpful in my most recent break up. Not knowing what the artist is singing about felt good, as most songs seem to revolve around love and I just didn't need to be reminded about that!
posted by mushuu at 11:03 AM on November 21, 2010
"Your Winter" and "Life Got In The Way" --Sister Hazel
"This Love"--Maroon 5
posted by jenfullmoon at 8:08 PM on November 21, 2010
"This Love"--Maroon 5
posted by jenfullmoon at 8:08 PM on November 21, 2010
It's an oldie but I listened to this over and over and over again after I broke up with my first serious boyfriend (belated apologies to my roomies):
I know I can't be with you,
I do what I have to do.
I know I can't be with you,
I do what I have to do.
And I have the sense to recognize that I don't know how to let you go.
I don't know how to let you go.
I don't know how to let you go.
posted by Wantok at 9:02 PM on November 21, 2010
I know I can't be with you,
I do what I have to do.
I know I can't be with you,
I do what I have to do.
And I have the sense to recognize that I don't know how to let you go.
I don't know how to let you go.
I don't know how to let you go.
posted by Wantok at 9:02 PM on November 21, 2010
i know i'm late to the party, but you must hear this song --
"gathering dust" by David Gray
posted by gursky at 6:23 PM on December 5, 2010
"gathering dust" by David Gray
posted by gursky at 6:23 PM on December 5, 2010
« Older My partner has developed agoraphobia, what do I do... | I have a really stupid, poorly designed paper... Newer »
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by griphus at 4:27 PM on November 20, 2010 [2 favorites]