Sell me on your favorite Captain!
October 27, 2010 11:07 PM   Subscribe

I'm gonna be a captain for Halloween, and I haven't decided which one yet. Convince me.

I've got a captain hat. (Google captains hat for a picture)
I'm going to be a captain for Halloween.
Sell me on your favorite captain!


I want to have a background story relevant to my hat. Give me your favorite stories of your favorite captains. Make sure the hat matches.

Points for sexiness. It's Halloween after all.

I've got a red beard, short brown hair, black plastic frames. I am flexible about dying and changing my hair.

I've got the rest of the getup figured out pretty well: Blue Blazer, tan sweater or white collared shirt, tan or blue pants, oxfords or blue or white canvass shoes. Point me to a picture of this man of the sea.
posted by justalisteningman to Human Relations (32 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
 
Blisterin' Blue Barnacles, man. You'll need a turtleneck, but you should reach for your inner HADDOCK.
posted by mumkin at 11:13 PM on October 27, 2010 [5 favorites]


Seconding the turtleneck, but you've got the beard why not go for Hemingway?
posted by TooFewShoes at 11:28 PM on October 27, 2010


Captain Anarchy
posted by philip-random at 11:36 PM on October 27, 2010


Capt Queeg from The Caine Mutiny
posted by Confess, Fletch at 11:41 PM on October 27, 2010


Captain Smith?
posted by Nightman at 11:48 PM on October 27, 2010


The Sea Captain is pretty sexy, no?
posted by spr at 11:56 PM on October 27, 2010


Well.. if you get yourself an ivory leg...
posted by Ahab at 12:16 AM on October 28, 2010 [2 favorites]


He's not a sea captain, but there's no captain in the 'verse who is sexier than Mal Reynolds.
posted by ellenaim at 12:52 AM on October 28, 2010 [2 favorites]


Captain Birdseye - the only man in the world who can get away with creepily offering fish products to small children.
posted by Coobeastie at 1:02 AM on October 28, 2010


Captain Merrill Stubing.
posted by The World Famous at 1:24 AM on October 28, 2010 [2 favorites]


Hammer?
posted by elroyel1327 at 2:11 AM on October 28, 2010


Skipper from Gilligan's Island, who reminds me of Benny Hill, both of which would be fun if only for the chance to have (likely incredibly annoying) theme music. Alternatively, you could pair what you have with one of these and be Captain Kangaroo. Please just don't be Captain Morgan.
posted by knile at 2:16 AM on October 28, 2010


Why be A Captain, when you can be The Captain?
posted by apparently at 4:43 AM on October 28, 2010 [1 favorite]


Forget Skipper - Money gives you points for sexiness, Mr. Thurston Howell III.
posted by peagood at 5:34 AM on October 28, 2010


If you switch the captain hat out for a green poker visor or a white fishing type hat, carry around a suitcase full of drugs and maybe put a cigar in your mouth you also have a sweet Hunter S. Thompson costume.
posted by zephyr_words at 6:09 AM on October 28, 2010


Captain Carl from Pee Wee's Playhouse is the first thing that came to mind.
posted by banwa at 6:12 AM on October 28, 2010


Why on earth would you choose anyone other than Captain Crunch? He's at least a gazbillion-jillion times crunchier than those other captains.
posted by chrisamiller at 6:24 AM on October 28, 2010


Captain Ron, definitely.
posted by little_c at 6:37 AM on October 28, 2010


You just need a Tennille and you'll be all set.
posted by brand-gnu at 7:13 AM on October 28, 2010 [1 favorite]


A very mixed up Captain Kirk?
posted by bessel functions seem unnecessarily complicated at 7:20 AM on October 28, 2010


tighty whities + cape = captain underpants. the captain's hat can be captain underpant's halloween costume (i.e., *you* are capt. underpants, and capt. underpants is going halloweening, so he dons the captain's hat).

it just doesn't get much sexier than a guy in tighty whities. ok, maybe it does get sexier. depends on the guy in tighty whities.
posted by msconduct at 7:36 AM on October 28, 2010


My first thought was also of Mal, but I was thinking "Captain Tightpants." You can still dress as a sea captain and skip the space cowboy thing entirely, but just make sure your pants are tight.

Of course, this only really works if you're surrounded by Firefly fans. The tight pants + geek cred would totally do it for me, in terms of sexiness. :)
posted by natabat at 7:59 AM on October 28, 2010


Cappy Dick.
posted by mazola at 8:01 AM on October 28, 2010


Captain Sully
posted by MexicanYenta at 9:35 AM on October 28, 2010


Captain Harlock. End of discussion.
posted by Kafkaesque at 9:51 AM on October 28, 2010


CAPTAIN MAL REYNOLDS!!!1
posted by Biru at 10:57 AM on October 28, 2010


Captain Jean Luc Picard.

He's extremely sexy to a certain crowd... but not a sea captain. Still, I thought it would be a shame to let this thread go on any longer without him.
posted by cranberrymonger at 11:14 AM on October 28, 2010


Surprised noone's mentioned Captain Morgan....
and I thought Captain Planet would be interesting wearing the hat.
posted by AltReality at 12:07 PM on October 28, 2010


Captain Highliner!
posted by custard heart at 3:26 PM on October 28, 2010


Captain Tightpants!
posted by jenfullmoon at 5:38 PM on October 28, 2010


Technically a Pirate Captain but with the most amazing name ever:

Roberto Cofresí y Ramírez de Arellano
posted by lizarrd at 11:35 PM on October 28, 2010


In Captain Haddock's favor, he actually wears a captain's hat and has dark hair and a beard, unlike many of the above. I'm just saying…
posted by mumkin at 2:02 PM on October 29, 2010


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